1 00:00:01,023 --> 00:00:03,691 So, Dad, guess what tomorrow is. 2 00:00:03,776 --> 00:00:05,735 Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday. 3 00:00:05,819 --> 00:00:08,279 No. Well, it... might be. 4 00:00:08,364 --> 00:00:09,447 - It is. - Fine. 5 00:00:09,532 --> 00:00:12,200 But also, tomorrow is your one-year anniversary 6 00:00:12,284 --> 00:00:13,576 back in our lives. 7 00:00:13,661 --> 00:00:15,870 I'm gonna make you flying-saucer-shaped pancakes. 8 00:00:15,955 --> 00:00:17,622 Oh, t-t-there's no need to do that, Beth. 9 00:00:17,706 --> 00:00:19,082 Regular pancakes are fine. 10 00:00:25,214 --> 00:00:27,882 Oh, my god! Oh, what is happening?! 11 00:01:00,457 --> 00:01:02,208 Happy anniversary, Dad. 12 00:01:02,293 --> 00:01:03,585 Oh, I get it. 13 00:01:03,669 --> 00:01:06,421 Regular pancakes are already shaped like flying saucers. 14 00:01:06,505 --> 00:01:08,256 Mmm. I-I should be making you breakfast 15 00:01:08,340 --> 00:01:10,133 for putting up with me. 16 00:01:10,217 --> 00:01:12,260 You should be making us a whole restaurant. 17 00:01:12,344 --> 00:01:14,387 Nonsense. We couldn't be happier to have you around. 18 00:01:14,471 --> 00:01:16,472 I just wish I got to see more of you. 19 00:01:18,267 --> 00:01:21,102 Rick Sanchez of Earth dimension C-137, 20 00:01:21,186 --> 00:01:23,688 you are under arrest for crimes against alternate Ricks 21 00:01:23,772 --> 00:01:26,816 by the authority of the Trans-Dimensional Council of Ricks. 22 00:01:26,900 --> 00:01:28,735 - Hey! What the heck?! - Neutralize the Jerry. 23 00:01:28,819 --> 00:01:31,070 - Wait! No! I'll... - Dad! 24 00:01:31,155 --> 00:01:32,447 - Dad! - Rick! 25 00:01:32,531 --> 00:01:34,032 Everybody, relax. 26 00:01:34,116 --> 00:01:35,992 If I know these a-holes, and I am these a-holes, 27 00:01:36,076 --> 00:01:37,702 they just want to haul me to their stupid clubhouse 28 00:01:37,786 --> 00:01:39,412 and waste my time with a bunch of questions. 29 00:01:39,496 --> 00:01:42,040 - Let's get it over with. - Bring his Morty. 30 00:01:42,124 --> 00:01:44,250 - Oh, man. - Leave my Morty out of this. 31 00:01:44,335 --> 00:01:45,793 You lost the right to have a say in these things 32 00:01:45,878 --> 00:01:47,837 when you refused to j... join the council. 33 00:01:47,921 --> 00:01:49,756 W-W-W-What about Jerry? 34 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:53,176 Will you at least unfreeze my daughter's idiot? 35 00:01:53,260 --> 00:01:54,594 ...give you anything! 36 00:01:54,678 --> 00:01:56,387 I have a rare antique- coin collection! 37 00:01:56,472 --> 00:01:58,264 Just don't hurt me! 38 00:01:59,975 --> 00:02:02,518 Okay, maybe not antique, but it was a limited minting. 39 00:02:02,603 --> 00:02:04,604 They have little R2-D2s instead of George Washington. 40 00:02:04,688 --> 00:02:05,938 Our son's been abducted! 41 00:02:06,023 --> 00:02:08,524 You hate me for buying those coins! 42 00:02:11,612 --> 00:02:13,571 Geez, Rick, w-what is this place? 43 00:02:13,656 --> 00:02:14,864 The citadel of Ricks. 44 00:02:14,948 --> 00:02:17,450 It's the secret headquarters for the Council of Ricks. 45 00:02:17,534 --> 00:02:19,661 - Council of Ricks? - As you know, Morty... 46 00:02:19,745 --> 00:02:21,412 I've got a lot of enemies in the universe 47 00:02:21,497 --> 00:02:23,164 that consider my genius a threat... 48 00:02:23,248 --> 00:02:25,291 galactic terrorists, a few sub-galactic dictators, 49 00:02:25,376 --> 00:02:27,669 most of the entire intergalactic government. 50 00:02:27,753 --> 00:02:29,754 W-W-Wherever you find people with heads up their asses, 51 00:02:29,838 --> 00:02:31,631 someone wants a piece of your grandpa, 52 00:02:31,715 --> 00:02:34,634 and a lot of versions of me had the same problem, 53 00:02:34,718 --> 00:02:37,053 so a few thousand versions of me had the ingenious idea 54 00:02:37,137 --> 00:02:39,681 of banding together like a herd of cattle 55 00:02:39,765 --> 00:02:41,474 or a school of fish 56 00:02:41,558 --> 00:02:43,601 or those people who answer questions on Yahoo! Answers. 57 00:02:43,686 --> 00:02:46,354 Hey! What do you know? It's a cowboy version of me. 58 00:02:46,438 --> 00:02:47,814 Geez, you're easy to impress. 59 00:02:47,898 --> 00:02:49,148 Yeah, most timelines have a Rick, 60 00:02:49,233 --> 00:02:50,733 and most Ricks have a Morty. 61 00:02:50,818 --> 00:02:52,777 This place is a real who's who of who's you and me. 62 00:02:52,861 --> 00:02:56,864 Turn your boring, old Morty into a f... hot fashion statement 63 00:02:56,949 --> 00:02:58,616 with some Morty dazzlers. 64 00:02:58,701 --> 00:03:00,576 Hey, check this out. 65 00:03:00,661 --> 00:03:02,704 - Show me the Morty. - Dumb. 66 00:03:02,788 --> 00:03:04,330 Excuse me, sir, is your Morty insured? 67 00:03:04,415 --> 00:03:06,374 You know, every year, hundreds of Mortys are injured... 68 00:03:06,458 --> 00:03:07,625 Back off! 69 00:03:07,710 --> 00:03:08,960 Not my cup of tea, this place. 70 00:03:09,044 --> 00:03:11,504 I say the point of being a Rick is being a Rick. 71 00:03:11,588 --> 00:03:13,172 Save your anti-Rick speech 72 00:03:13,257 --> 00:03:14,882 for the Council of Ricks, terror-Rick. 73 00:03:14,967 --> 00:03:16,592 Hey, save your Rick rules 74 00:03:16,677 --> 00:03:18,678 for the sheep-Ricks, Rick-pig. 75 00:03:18,762 --> 00:03:20,638 - Fuck me, pal. - Fuck you? 76 00:03:20,723 --> 00:03:23,558 No, no, no, no, no. Fuck me. 77 00:03:34,236 --> 00:03:37,655 Bring up the holograms. 78 00:03:37,740 --> 00:03:41,701 27 Ricks brutally murdered in their own timelines... 79 00:03:41,785 --> 00:03:45,079 an unprecedented Rick-icidal epidemic. 80 00:03:45,164 --> 00:03:47,832 What say you, Earth Rick C-137? 81 00:03:47,916 --> 00:03:49,542 You think I did this? 82 00:03:49,626 --> 00:03:52,545 Why am I the first Rick you pull in every time a Rick stubs his toe? 83 00:03:52,629 --> 00:03:54,464 You have a history of non-cooperation 84 00:03:54,548 --> 00:03:56,382 with the council. 85 00:03:56,467 --> 00:03:58,593 Yeah, so does the scientist formerly known as Rick. 86 00:03:58,677 --> 00:04:00,720 W-W-W-W-W-Why isn't he here in handcuffs? 87 00:04:00,804 --> 00:04:02,764 Because he's dead, too! 88 00:04:04,516 --> 00:04:07,059 Who else would we question? You fit the profile. 89 00:04:07,144 --> 00:04:09,353 Of all the Ricks in the central finite curve, 90 00:04:09,438 --> 00:04:11,856 you're the malcontent, the rogue. 91 00:04:11,940 --> 00:04:14,275 I'm the Rick, and so were the rest of you 92 00:04:14,359 --> 00:04:16,277 before you formed this stupid alliance. 93 00:04:16,361 --> 00:04:17,987 You wanted to be safe from the government, 94 00:04:18,071 --> 00:04:19,739 so you became a stupid government. 95 00:04:19,823 --> 00:04:21,449 That makes every Rick here less Rick than me. 96 00:04:23,327 --> 00:04:24,994 Yeah, murmur it up, d-bags. 97 00:04:25,078 --> 00:04:27,163 Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got pancakes back home 98 00:04:27,247 --> 00:04:28,289 with syrup on top of them. 99 00:04:28,373 --> 00:04:30,500 They're about to hit that critical point of syrup absorption 100 00:04:30,584 --> 00:04:32,168 that turns the cakes into a gross paste, 101 00:04:32,252 --> 00:04:34,128 and I hate to get all Andy Rooney about it, 102 00:04:34,213 --> 00:04:37,131 but I think we all like fluffy discs of cake with syrup on top, 103 00:04:37,216 --> 00:04:39,884 and I think we also like to be accused of crimes 104 00:04:39,968 --> 00:04:41,469 when there's evidence! 105 00:04:41,553 --> 00:04:43,971 So, as they say in Canada, peace oot! 106 00:04:44,056 --> 00:04:47,642 Evidence! Good idea. Scan his portal gun! 107 00:04:47,726 --> 00:04:48,935 Oh, come on. 108 00:04:49,019 --> 00:04:51,771 Don't look at another man's portal-gun history. 109 00:04:51,855 --> 00:04:53,815 We... we all go to weird places. 110 00:04:53,899 --> 00:04:55,900 Yes, but it appears you alone 111 00:04:55,984 --> 00:04:58,611 have been going to the exact timelines and locations 112 00:04:58,695 --> 00:05:00,696 in which the murders occurred. 113 00:05:00,781 --> 00:05:02,782 What?! That's Rick-diculous! 114 00:05:02,866 --> 00:05:04,450 I'm obviously being set up. 115 00:05:04,535 --> 00:05:08,120 Earth Rick C-137, the council of Ricks sentences you 116 00:05:08,205 --> 00:05:10,915 to the machine of unspeakable doom, 117 00:05:10,999 --> 00:05:13,626 which swaps your conscious and unconscious minds, 118 00:05:13,710 --> 00:05:15,503 rendering your fantasies pointless 119 00:05:15,587 --> 00:05:18,673 while everything you've known becomes impossible to grasp. 120 00:05:18,757 --> 00:05:21,300 Also, every 10 seconds, it stabs your balls. 121 00:05:21,385 --> 00:05:23,678 I've heard enough. 122 00:05:25,556 --> 00:05:27,348 Run, Morty! 123 00:05:27,432 --> 00:05:28,641 Unh-unh. Not you. 124 00:05:30,811 --> 00:05:32,520 Aaaah! 125 00:05:53,959 --> 00:05:55,877 Oh! Oh! 126 00:05:58,755 --> 00:06:00,464 Yeah, I'd like to order one large person 127 00:06:00,549 --> 00:06:02,717 with extra people, please. - White people. 128 00:06:02,801 --> 00:06:04,260 No, no, no, no. Black people. 129 00:06:04,344 --> 00:06:05,970 And hispanic on half. 130 00:06:17,774 --> 00:06:19,650 Yes, I'd like to order one large sofa chair 131 00:06:19,735 --> 00:06:21,652 with extra chair, please. - High chair. 132 00:06:21,737 --> 00:06:22,945 No, no, no, no. Recliner. 133 00:06:23,030 --> 00:06:24,989 And wheelchair on half. 134 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:38,711 They could have gone into any one of these. 135 00:06:38,795 --> 00:06:40,796 Son of a... 136 00:06:40,881 --> 00:06:42,882 - Oh, geez. - We lost 'em. 137 00:06:42,966 --> 00:06:44,383 Yeah, I'd like to order one large phone 138 00:06:44,468 --> 00:06:46,052 with extra phones, please. - Cellphone. 139 00:06:46,136 --> 00:06:47,511 No, no, no, no. Rotary. 140 00:06:47,596 --> 00:06:49,722 And pay phone on half. 141 00:06:49,806 --> 00:06:52,725 That'll keep 'em busy for a while. 142 00:06:54,686 --> 00:06:56,646 Those guys were wrong, right? 143 00:06:56,730 --> 00:06:59,273 Y-Y-Y-You d... you wouldn't kill yourself... y-y-yourselves. 144 00:06:59,358 --> 00:07:01,776 Of course not, Morty. How could that profit me? 145 00:07:01,860 --> 00:07:03,444 But someone out there is killing Ricks, 146 00:07:03,528 --> 00:07:05,154 and the council ain't gonna stop thinking it's me 147 00:07:05,238 --> 00:07:07,657 until we clear our names... by finding the real Rick-killer. 148 00:07:07,741 --> 00:07:09,408 I'm scared, Rick. 149 00:07:09,493 --> 00:07:11,118 Maybe we should go home and stockpile weapons, 150 00:07:11,203 --> 00:07:12,870 like that show "Doomsday Preppers." 151 00:07:12,955 --> 00:07:14,497 Not really my style, Morty. 152 00:07:14,581 --> 00:07:15,748 Besides, your home is most likely 153 00:07:15,832 --> 00:07:17,750 swarming with Ricks by now. 154 00:07:19,252 --> 00:07:21,170 All right, listen, Jerry. 155 00:07:21,254 --> 00:07:23,923 If Rick calls, this device is gonna trace his location. 156 00:07:24,007 --> 00:07:26,884 You just gotta keep him on the phone for 30 seconds or longer. 157 00:07:26,969 --> 00:07:29,220 - Who wants lemonade? - Oh, yeah. 158 00:07:29,304 --> 00:07:31,973 Mmm! Oh! Delicious! 159 00:07:32,057 --> 00:07:34,058 Beth you're a treasure. 160 00:07:34,142 --> 00:07:36,185 I have a Beth just like you in my reality, 161 00:07:36,269 --> 00:07:37,979 except you know what? 162 00:07:38,063 --> 00:07:40,773 She's not as brilliant or attractive. 163 00:07:40,857 --> 00:07:43,192 Aw. Thank you. 164 00:07:43,276 --> 00:07:45,111 Oh! She did! She did it! 165 00:07:49,324 --> 00:07:51,659 - H-hello? - Hey, Jerry, it's Rick. 166 00:07:51,743 --> 00:07:53,744 Rick! Hey. 167 00:07:53,829 --> 00:07:55,204 What's... what's up? 168 00:07:55,288 --> 00:07:58,290 So, listen, the heat's on, and there's nowhere left to turn, 169 00:07:58,375 --> 00:08:00,376 so Morty and I are just gonna fly my spaceship into a black hole. 170 00:08:00,460 --> 00:08:02,420 - What?! - Is that cool with you, dawg? 171 00:08:02,504 --> 00:08:04,463 Rick, no! Morty! - We got it. 172 00:08:04,548 --> 00:08:06,257 The call's coming from... 173 00:08:06,341 --> 00:08:08,175 ♪ Inside the house ♪ 174 00:08:08,260 --> 00:08:10,219 - Look at his face! - You dummy! 175 00:08:10,303 --> 00:08:12,263 Can't believe our daughter married you. 176 00:08:12,347 --> 00:08:14,140 Too easy! 177 00:08:14,224 --> 00:08:15,683 The Ricks are probably gonna waste some time 178 00:08:15,767 --> 00:08:16,851 messing with Jerry. 179 00:08:16,935 --> 00:08:18,436 They won't be able to help themselves. 180 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:20,563 But as soon as they get bored, they'll be onto us. 181 00:08:20,647 --> 00:08:22,606 Phones à la clams and phonesghetti with phone balls. 182 00:08:22,691 --> 00:08:23,691 Anything else? 183 00:08:23,775 --> 00:08:25,151 Yeah, more phone sticks, please. 184 00:08:25,235 --> 00:08:26,068 Right away, sir. 185 00:08:26,153 --> 00:08:27,695 You know, Rick, when I first saw 186 00:08:27,779 --> 00:08:28,988 all those Ricks and Mortys, 187 00:08:29,072 --> 00:08:31,115 I thought, "gee, that kind of devalues our bond." 188 00:08:31,199 --> 00:08:32,491 but then I realized it just means 189 00:08:32,576 --> 00:08:34,452 that our relationship must be pretty special 190 00:08:34,536 --> 00:08:36,620 to span over all those different timelines. 191 00:08:36,705 --> 00:08:38,998 Yeah, it's gotto be that way. You're a camouflage. 192 00:08:39,082 --> 00:08:42,209 Camouflage? W-W-W-What are you talking about, Rick? 193 00:08:42,294 --> 00:08:43,961 Ricks have a very distinctive and traceable brain wave 194 00:08:44,046 --> 00:08:45,755 due to our genius. 195 00:08:45,839 --> 00:08:47,423 The best way to hide from an enemy's radar 196 00:08:47,507 --> 00:08:49,300 is to stand near someone with complementary brain waves 197 00:08:49,384 --> 00:08:51,135 that make ours invisible. 198 00:08:51,219 --> 00:08:53,054 See, w-w-w-when a Rick i-is with a Morty, 199 00:08:53,138 --> 00:08:56,265 the genius waves get canceled out by the, uh... 200 00:08:56,349 --> 00:08:58,517 ...Morty waves. 201 00:08:58,602 --> 00:09:02,188 Um... because o-our personalities are so different? 202 00:09:02,272 --> 00:09:04,148 Oh, shit, dawg. 203 00:09:04,232 --> 00:09:06,150 My portal gun was hacked remotely, Morty... 204 00:09:06,234 --> 00:09:08,152 obviously by the real killer, to frame me. 205 00:09:08,236 --> 00:09:10,196 But I was able to trace the signal. Come on. Let's go. 206 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:11,947 Uh-oh. 207 00:09:12,032 --> 00:09:14,033 Excuse me. We've tracked a pair of dangerous criminals 208 00:09:14,117 --> 00:09:15,743 to this exact location. 209 00:09:15,827 --> 00:09:17,828 They look exactly like us, so in order to avoid confusion, 210 00:09:17,913 --> 00:09:19,872 I'm gonna mark us each with a red "X" right now. 211 00:09:19,956 --> 00:09:21,749 That way, if someone has a gun 212 00:09:21,833 --> 00:09:23,667 and we both tell you to shoot the other one 213 00:09:23,752 --> 00:09:26,212 because they're the evil one, you'll know who's lying. 214 00:09:26,296 --> 00:09:28,130 Hey, check it out. 215 00:09:28,215 --> 00:09:30,716 Damn it! 216 00:09:31,843 --> 00:09:33,552 Hey, you didn't pay your bill! 217 00:09:33,637 --> 00:09:36,013 T-The red "X"! Red "X"! 218 00:09:36,098 --> 00:09:38,015 Hey, it's a good thing that space outlet had lab coats 219 00:09:38,100 --> 00:09:39,934 and your favorite kind of shirt in stock, huh, Morty? 220 00:09:40,018 --> 00:09:41,811 Yeah, Rick, I-I heard you the first time. 221 00:09:41,895 --> 00:09:43,646 You don't have to keep saying it over and over. 222 00:09:43,730 --> 00:09:45,314 Man, this place is way off the grid. 223 00:09:45,398 --> 00:09:47,108 This guy does not want to be found. 224 00:09:47,192 --> 00:09:50,236 Well, if he's a Rick, doesn't he just have to stand by a Morty to hide? 225 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:53,072 I mean, isn't that what Mortys are... human cloaking devices? 226 00:09:53,156 --> 00:09:55,991 Morty, you're making a bigger deal out of this than it is. 227 00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:58,869 Oh, my god, Rick, look! 228 00:09:58,954 --> 00:10:01,705 There's a bunch of people strapped all over that building! 229 00:10:01,790 --> 00:10:04,750 Not people, Morty... Mortys. 230 00:10:10,132 --> 00:10:12,216 Oh, god! 231 00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:14,093 W-Why would somebody do this? It's horrible! 232 00:10:14,177 --> 00:10:16,345 Well, one Morty's enough to hide from the bureaucrats, 233 00:10:16,429 --> 00:10:18,347 but you get... you get a whole matrix of Mortys 234 00:10:18,431 --> 00:10:20,099 and put them in agonizing pain, 235 00:10:20,183 --> 00:10:23,269 that creates a pattern that can hide even from other Ricks, motherfucker. 236 00:10:23,353 --> 00:10:26,355 I fiddled with a concept like this once. 237 00:10:26,439 --> 00:10:28,983 On paper, Morty. On paper. 238 00:10:29,067 --> 00:10:30,818 I wouldn't do this. It's barbaric overkill. 239 00:10:30,902 --> 00:10:32,862 I mean, you could accomplish the same result with, like, 240 00:10:32,946 --> 00:10:35,364 five Mortys and a jumper cable. 241 00:10:36,741 --> 00:10:38,117 Which I also wouldn't do! 242 00:10:38,201 --> 00:10:40,953 I'm just saying, it's bad craftsmanship. 243 00:10:41,037 --> 00:10:43,372 Coffee time! Yo, yo, yo, yo! 244 00:10:43,456 --> 00:10:46,250 That's what I like to hear! 245 00:10:46,334 --> 00:10:48,043 Hi, Jerry. 246 00:10:48,128 --> 00:10:49,962 Leave me alone. I'm working. 247 00:10:50,046 --> 00:10:51,922 Oh, you are? W-W-W-What do you do? 248 00:10:52,007 --> 00:10:55,050 I-I'm... I'm in between advertising jobs. 249 00:10:55,135 --> 00:10:57,011 Advertising? Wow! 250 00:10:57,095 --> 00:10:59,221 So, people need help figuring out what to buy, 251 00:10:59,306 --> 00:11:00,681 and then y-y-you help 'em? 252 00:11:00,765 --> 00:11:03,267 Well, it's a little more complicated than that. 253 00:11:03,351 --> 00:11:05,561 Well, I mean, you do it, and you seem like a guy 254 00:11:05,645 --> 00:11:07,354 who really has it all together. 255 00:11:10,066 --> 00:11:12,526 Dude, are you... w... you're being a dick, right? 256 00:11:12,611 --> 00:11:13,986 Oh, gosh, I-I hope not. 257 00:11:14,070 --> 00:11:16,530 I-I-I-I-I-I wouldn't want to offend you in any way. 258 00:11:16,615 --> 00:11:18,490 You're really a Rick? 259 00:11:18,575 --> 00:11:20,576 Y... of course I am... 260 00:11:20,660 --> 00:11:22,536 just as much as my Morty's a Morty. 261 00:11:22,621 --> 00:11:24,413 Hey, he looks a lot like Eric Stoltz 262 00:11:24,497 --> 00:11:26,415 from the movie "Mask." 263 00:11:26,499 --> 00:11:28,209 You know, the one with Cher in it? 264 00:11:28,293 --> 00:11:29,293 That's right, Jerry! 265 00:11:29,377 --> 00:11:31,295 He... he's from a reality where everyone is 266 00:11:31,379 --> 00:11:33,005 Eric Stoltz "Mask" people. 267 00:11:33,089 --> 00:11:34,381 He's Eric Stoltz Mask Morty. 268 00:11:34,466 --> 00:11:35,841 They assigned him to me 269 00:11:35,926 --> 00:11:37,760 because I never had any kids of my own. 270 00:11:37,844 --> 00:11:39,220 But if I did, boy, I'd love them 271 00:11:39,304 --> 00:11:41,013 if they were as smart and as successful 272 00:11:41,097 --> 00:11:42,181 as you are, Jerry. 273 00:11:42,265 --> 00:11:43,766 Hey, get a load of this. 274 00:11:43,850 --> 00:11:45,768 Jerry's hanging out with doofus Rick. 275 00:11:45,852 --> 00:11:47,186 This is perfect. 276 00:11:47,270 --> 00:11:48,771 I'm not doofus Rick! 277 00:11:48,855 --> 00:11:50,064 I'm Rick J19-Zeta-7! 278 00:11:50,148 --> 00:11:52,483 Oh, is that the timeline where everybody eats poop? 279 00:11:52,567 --> 00:11:54,526 Jerry, you know this guy eats poop, right? 280 00:11:54,611 --> 00:11:56,237 Hey, I don't eat poop! 281 00:11:56,321 --> 00:11:58,322 Y-You guys are always so mean to me. 282 00:12:00,992 --> 00:12:03,244 I guess it's only fair to tell you now, Jerry. 283 00:12:03,328 --> 00:12:05,162 I'm the worst Rick of them all. 284 00:12:05,247 --> 00:12:07,206 According to who... other versions of you? 285 00:12:07,290 --> 00:12:08,582 If I've learned one thing, 286 00:12:08,667 --> 00:12:10,376 it's that before you get anywhere in life, 287 00:12:10,460 --> 00:12:12,419 you got to stop listening to yourself. 288 00:12:12,504 --> 00:12:14,255 Wow. You really are wise, Jerry. 289 00:12:14,339 --> 00:12:17,216 I-I-I guess that's why you work in advertising. 290 00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:19,218 The fact that you feel that way 291 00:12:19,302 --> 00:12:21,220 makes you the best Rick of them all. 292 00:12:21,304 --> 00:12:23,222 You don't care about me at all! 293 00:12:23,306 --> 00:12:25,182 I'm no different than that jacket you've got on! 294 00:12:25,267 --> 00:12:27,226 Y-Y-Y... o-or your stupid portal gun! 295 00:12:27,310 --> 00:12:29,687 I'm just a tool! I-I-I'm just an object! 296 00:12:29,771 --> 00:12:31,563 Hey, it's your choice to take it personally, Morty. 297 00:12:31,648 --> 00:12:33,315 Now, for the love of god, be quiet. 298 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:35,234 The point of this is to get the drop on the guy. 299 00:12:35,318 --> 00:12:36,944 You know what, Rick? I'll tell you something! 300 00:12:37,028 --> 00:12:39,613 I'm more than a human shield! - Yeah, that's right. You are. 301 00:12:39,698 --> 00:12:42,366 You're a perfect, impenetrable suit of human armor, Morty, 302 00:12:42,450 --> 00:12:44,326 because you're as dumb as I am smart, 303 00:12:44,411 --> 00:12:46,078 which is why when I say "shut up," 304 00:12:46,162 --> 00:12:48,122 it's really good advice. 305 00:12:50,125 --> 00:12:51,792 Great. Nice work, Morty. 306 00:13:04,347 --> 00:13:06,682 Ooh. Look at you, C-137. 307 00:13:06,766 --> 00:13:08,726 You... aren't you a tough customer? 308 00:13:08,810 --> 00:13:11,562 The slow clap? Really? Kind of played out, dude. 309 00:13:11,646 --> 00:13:13,397 Not in this dimension, it isn't. 310 00:13:13,481 --> 00:13:15,107 In fact I invented it. 311 00:13:15,191 --> 00:13:17,276 Nobody else has ever even done it here before. 312 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:18,360 Well, la-di-da. 313 00:13:18,445 --> 00:13:19,737 Hey, that's mine! 314 00:13:23,658 --> 00:13:25,284 I don't like the look of that Rick, Morty. 315 00:13:25,368 --> 00:13:27,619 - We gotta escape. - I'm not gonna help you, Rick. 316 00:13:27,704 --> 00:13:29,246 Y-You're a monster. 317 00:13:29,331 --> 00:13:31,123 Don't be rick-diculous, Morty. 318 00:13:31,207 --> 00:13:32,916 Will you stop saying that? It's stupid. 319 00:13:33,001 --> 00:13:34,418 Take his Morty away. 320 00:13:34,502 --> 00:13:36,628 - Come with me. - Yeah, gladly. 321 00:13:36,713 --> 00:13:39,006 Geez, man. Ricks, huh? 322 00:13:39,090 --> 00:13:41,008 Hey, man, you seem to know how this place works. 323 00:13:41,092 --> 00:13:43,218 Is there any way we could shut down that grid 324 00:13:43,303 --> 00:13:44,887 and rescue all those Mortys outside? 325 00:13:44,971 --> 00:13:46,096 It would be pointless. 326 00:13:46,181 --> 00:13:49,266 Mortys have no chance of defeating a Rick. 327 00:13:49,351 --> 00:13:50,351 In here. 328 00:13:59,069 --> 00:14:01,653 - Ah. Isn't it beautiful? - Yeah, yeah. 329 00:14:01,738 --> 00:14:04,114 Looks like payday at Neverland Ranch in here. 330 00:14:04,199 --> 00:14:05,616 Zing! 331 00:14:05,700 --> 00:14:06,950 That guy got it. 332 00:14:07,035 --> 00:14:08,410 Unh-unh-unh, Rick. Quiet. 333 00:14:08,495 --> 00:14:10,329 You're missing my symphony. 334 00:14:13,541 --> 00:14:16,293 Hey, I'll take it over Mumford & Sons. Zip! 335 00:14:16,378 --> 00:14:18,170 This guy is on it! 336 00:14:18,254 --> 00:14:20,255 He's not laughing at your dumb jokes, Rick. 337 00:14:20,340 --> 00:14:22,758 That's just a random noise it makes every 10 seconds. 338 00:14:25,678 --> 00:14:27,679 You see, Rick, you're not as clever as you think you are. 339 00:14:27,764 --> 00:14:29,765 I wanted you to find me. 340 00:14:29,849 --> 00:14:31,642 We're not so different, you and I. 341 00:14:31,726 --> 00:14:34,186 - Yeah, duh! - See this right here, Rick? 342 00:14:34,270 --> 00:14:36,230 I crunched the numbers. 343 00:14:36,314 --> 00:14:38,399 I created a spectrum of all the Ricks. 344 00:14:38,483 --> 00:14:41,235 I listed them out from most evil to least evil. 345 00:14:41,319 --> 00:14:42,986 Here's where I am. 346 00:14:43,071 --> 00:14:45,072 And look it... right here's where you are, Rick. 347 00:14:45,156 --> 00:14:47,574 This guy right here... super-weird. 348 00:14:47,659 --> 00:14:49,326 I get it. So you want me to team up with you to take down 349 00:14:49,411 --> 00:14:51,495 The Council of Ricks? Is that where you're going with this? 350 00:14:51,579 --> 00:14:53,038 'Cause that's where I'd be going. 351 00:14:53,123 --> 00:14:55,332 Please. I think I'm doing pretty good on my own. 352 00:14:55,417 --> 00:14:58,335 I'm simply gonna download the contents of your brain 353 00:14:58,420 --> 00:15:01,588 and then kill you. 354 00:15:01,673 --> 00:15:03,841 Okay, if we add a little more titanium nitrate 355 00:15:03,925 --> 00:15:07,094 and just a tad of chlorified tartrate... 356 00:15:08,430 --> 00:15:10,514 ...ovenless brownies! 357 00:15:10,598 --> 00:15:12,307 Mmm. Mmm! 358 00:15:12,392 --> 00:15:14,435 It's incredible what a gifted mind can accomplish 359 00:15:14,519 --> 00:15:16,103 when priorities are in order. 360 00:15:16,187 --> 00:15:18,147 Well, come on. I can't take all the credit, Jerry. 361 00:15:18,231 --> 00:15:21,233 It was your idea. Come here, Jerry! 362 00:15:25,488 --> 00:15:27,239 Hey, uh, come here. 363 00:15:27,323 --> 00:15:29,700 I-I want to show you something. 364 00:15:29,784 --> 00:15:31,785 Okay, look, everybody makes fun of me for getting these, 365 00:15:31,870 --> 00:15:34,997 but you're a genius scientist. What do you think? 366 00:15:35,081 --> 00:15:38,709 See? There's little R2-D2s where the George Washingtons should be. 367 00:15:38,793 --> 00:15:40,586 You know, Jerry, I'm not gonna tell you 368 00:15:40,670 --> 00:15:42,463 that these will increase in value 369 00:15:42,547 --> 00:15:44,298 or even hold their current value. 370 00:15:44,382 --> 00:15:46,800 The truth is, you bought them because you like them. 371 00:15:46,885 --> 00:15:50,095 They have value to you. That's what matters. 372 00:15:51,556 --> 00:15:53,640 How long are you staying? 373 00:15:53,725 --> 00:15:55,767 Until we find your Rick. 374 00:15:55,852 --> 00:15:57,811 I found mine. 375 00:15:57,896 --> 00:15:59,813 I found mine. 376 00:16:00,899 --> 00:16:03,984 - Help! - There is no escape, my son. 377 00:16:04,068 --> 00:16:06,528 We will find our peace in the next world. 378 00:16:06,613 --> 00:16:09,281 So, what... y-y-y-y-you're just gonna give up? 379 00:16:09,365 --> 00:16:12,701 We're giving in... to the power of the one true Morty. 380 00:16:12,785 --> 00:16:14,411 One day, he will return. 381 00:16:14,496 --> 00:16:18,290 Praise the one true Morty. 382 00:16:18,374 --> 00:16:21,543 Ugh. All right, Mortys, listen up. 383 00:16:21,628 --> 00:16:25,797 My name is Morty Smith, from Earth dimension C-137. 384 00:16:25,882 --> 00:16:28,383 I know you're scared, because I'm scared. 385 00:16:28,468 --> 00:16:30,636 But that's no reason to accept our fate! 386 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:31,553 We're Mortys! 387 00:16:31,638 --> 00:16:34,306 We're not defined by our relationships to Rick! 388 00:16:34,390 --> 00:16:36,600 Our destiny is our own! 389 00:16:36,684 --> 00:16:38,769 This sounds like something the one true Morty might say. 390 00:16:38,853 --> 00:16:40,771 I'm sick of being a human shield. 391 00:16:40,855 --> 00:16:42,856 I-I-I w... I want to be a gardener! 392 00:16:42,941 --> 00:16:46,360 I want to write really crazy, intense action novels! 393 00:16:46,444 --> 00:16:48,487 I'm more than just a hammer! 394 00:16:48,571 --> 00:16:50,447 He is the one true Morty! 395 00:16:50,532 --> 00:16:52,783 Hooray! The one true Morty! 396 00:16:52,867 --> 00:16:54,701 Hey, keep it down! 397 00:17:04,212 --> 00:17:05,754 You've lived quite a life, Rick. 398 00:17:05,838 --> 00:17:09,258 It's a real shame you won't be around to see it through. 399 00:17:17,767 --> 00:17:19,851 You're crying? Over a Morty? 400 00:17:19,936 --> 00:17:22,020 No, I'm just allergic to dipshits. 401 00:17:22,105 --> 00:17:23,355 Ugh. Pathetic. 402 00:17:23,439 --> 00:17:26,191 We both know that if there's any truth in the universe, 403 00:17:26,276 --> 00:17:28,819 it's that Ricks don't care about Mortys. 404 00:17:31,948 --> 00:17:34,491 Do your worst, you little bastards! 405 00:17:34,576 --> 00:17:37,202 Kill me! Do it! Do i-i-i-i-it! 406 00:17:37,287 --> 00:17:40,372 Morty! Thank god! Get me out of this. 407 00:17:40,456 --> 00:17:43,208 - Come on! - You're lucky I'm not a Rick. 408 00:17:43,293 --> 00:17:46,086 Point taken, but this is no time for arcs. 409 00:17:47,964 --> 00:17:49,715 Oh! 410 00:17:54,262 --> 00:17:55,387 Yeah, hello. 411 00:17:55,471 --> 00:17:57,764 Hey, what do me and O.J. not have in common? 412 00:17:57,849 --> 00:17:59,516 Huh? W-Who is this? 413 00:17:59,601 --> 00:18:03,103 I found the real killer, bitch! Get over here! 414 00:18:05,356 --> 00:18:08,191 Yo, ding-dong, we're done here. Time to go. 415 00:18:08,276 --> 00:18:10,193 Well, Jerry 416 00:18:10,278 --> 00:18:12,362 I guess this means goodbye. 417 00:18:12,447 --> 00:18:14,197 W-W-Well, does it have to? 418 00:18:14,282 --> 00:18:16,158 I mean, you... you look just like Rick. 419 00:18:16,242 --> 00:18:18,744 We could maybe, you know, get rid of him. 420 00:18:18,828 --> 00:18:20,579 I'm not saying kill him, necessarily. 421 00:18:20,663 --> 00:18:23,415 I... I'm also not saying necessarily not kill him, but... 422 00:18:23,499 --> 00:18:26,168 Jerry, w-we both know it wouldn't work. 423 00:18:26,252 --> 00:18:29,254 It's time to go back to our lives. 424 00:18:29,339 --> 00:18:31,340 I love you, Jerry. I love you. 425 00:18:47,523 --> 00:18:49,107 Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! 426 00:18:49,192 --> 00:18:50,984 Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! 427 00:18:53,905 --> 00:18:56,365 W-What... w-what's gonna happen to all these Mortys? 428 00:18:56,449 --> 00:18:58,450 They'll go back to their families, 429 00:18:58,534 --> 00:19:02,621 attend school regularly, play video games, date girls. 430 00:19:02,705 --> 00:19:05,957 Poor little Rickless bastards. 431 00:19:06,042 --> 00:19:08,085 Earth Rick C-137, 432 00:19:08,169 --> 00:19:11,254 the council apologizes for its false accusation, 433 00:19:11,339 --> 00:19:13,840 and in the way of reparations for our terrible mistake, 434 00:19:13,925 --> 00:19:17,219 we would like to compensate you with this voucher 435 00:19:17,303 --> 00:19:19,763 for a free replacement Morty in the event 436 00:19:19,847 --> 00:19:21,890 that your current Morty should... 437 00:19:21,974 --> 00:19:24,267 Uh, guys, not a good time. 438 00:19:24,352 --> 00:19:26,228 Come on, Morty. Let's hit it. 439 00:19:28,356 --> 00:19:30,315 Is it time for arcs yet, Rick? 440 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:31,775 I did a pretty good job back there 441 00:19:31,859 --> 00:19:33,944 for a human cloaking device. 442 00:19:34,028 --> 00:19:35,362 Saved your ass. - All right, Morty. 443 00:19:35,446 --> 00:19:37,155 Don't break an arm jerking yourself off. 444 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:38,907 Man, I can't believe you, Rick. 445 00:19:38,991 --> 00:19:40,909 That right there, that w... that was a great opportunity 446 00:19:40,993 --> 00:19:42,911 to show a little humanity, you know? 447 00:19:42,995 --> 00:19:44,496 To connect with me a little. 448 00:19:44,580 --> 00:19:45,956 Hey, Morty, you want connection, 449 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:48,500 go be part of some stupid club, like all those dumb Ricks. 450 00:19:48,584 --> 00:19:51,002 You know, maybe I don't connect because I'm the Rickest Rick. 451 00:19:51,087 --> 00:19:53,380 And, you know, it would g... 452 00:19:53,464 --> 00:19:55,632 go without saying that the Rickest Rick 453 00:19:55,717 --> 00:19:57,092 would have the Mortyest Morty. 454 00:19:57,176 --> 00:19:59,386 - It would go without saying, huh? - Yeah, it would. 455 00:19:59,470 --> 00:20:02,222 Did you hear me say it? - Nah. 456 00:20:02,306 --> 00:20:04,224 The Mortyest Morty. 457 00:20:04,308 --> 00:20:06,518 Just don't get too big for your loafers, Buster Brown. 458 00:20:06,602 --> 00:20:08,770 A cocky Morty can lead to some big problems. 459 00:20:08,855 --> 00:20:10,731 It can be a real bad thing for everybody. 460 00:20:10,815 --> 00:20:12,399 Oh, yeah? How's that? 461 00:20:12,483 --> 00:20:15,402 U-Uh, I'll explain when you're older. 462 00:20:16,779 --> 00:20:17,946 What a mess. 463 00:20:18,030 --> 00:20:19,906 Pride cometh before the fall. 464 00:20:19,991 --> 00:20:21,825 I guess he got what he deserved. 465 00:20:21,909 --> 00:20:22,701 What is that? 466 00:20:23,953 --> 00:20:25,537 Hand me the laser difibulator. 467 00:20:25,621 --> 00:20:27,247 Hey, guys, uh, c-can I help? 468 00:20:27,331 --> 00:20:28,623 No! Go clean the toilets. 469 00:20:28,708 --> 00:20:30,542 Maybe you'll make friends with some turds. 470 00:20:30,626 --> 00:20:33,044 You make us ashamed to be ourselves! 471 00:20:34,505 --> 00:20:37,174 My god. I've seen this technology before. 472 00:20:38,634 --> 00:20:40,552 This Rick was being controlled remotely... 473 00:20:40,636 --> 00:20:42,137 puppeteered by somebody else. 474 00:20:42,221 --> 00:20:45,932 This is the receiver. - Yeah, but where's the transmitter? 475 00:21:34,899 --> 00:21:37,275 Wubba dubba dub dub! Oh. Hey, Jerry. 476 00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:39,611 W-W-W-What are you doing in my room, buddy? 477 00:21:39,695 --> 00:21:41,780 Nothing. I was just, um... 478 00:21:41,864 --> 00:21:43,782 checking the smoke detectors. 479 00:21:43,866 --> 00:21:46,785 All right. Okay, get out. 480 00:22:08,266 --> 00:22:10,058 What's that dipshit doing out there? 481 00:22:10,142 --> 00:22:11,268 Are you friends with him? 482 00:22:11,352 --> 00:22:13,144 You know he eats his own shit, right? 483 00:22:13,229 --> 00:22:15,063 Oh, my god, this is rich! 484 00:22:15,147 --> 00:22:18,066 I've got like 10 Ricks to call right now. 485 00:22:19,610 --> 00:22:21,027 Did you get any of that? 486 00:22:21,112 --> 00:22:23,071 It's a good-a show! 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net