>> Rick: [ PANTING ]
RUN!
[ GASPS ]
MORTY, DO IT!
HIT THE BUTTON NOW!
>> Morty: I CAN'T DO IT, RICK!
THEY'RE MY PARENTS AND SISTER!
>> Rick: MORTY, I ALREADY TOLD
YOU IT'S NOT YOUR FAMILY!
THEY'RE CLONES FROM AN ALTERNATE
REALITY, POSSESSED BY DEMONIC
ALIEN SPIRITS FROM ANOTHER
DIMENSION'S FUTURE!
DO YOU NEED A MNEMONIC DEVICE
OR SOMETHING?
JUST HIT THE BUTTON, ALREADY!
>> Beth: [ GROWLING ]
MORTY, PLEASE, I LOVE
YOU, SWEETHEART.
>> Morty: OH!
[ GRUNTS ]
[ CLONES SCREAM ]
[ MOANS ]
>> Rick: GOOD WORK, MORTY.
YOU KNOW, TH-TH-THESE DEMONIC
ALIEN SPIRITS ARE REALLY
VALUABLE.
YOU OKAY, MORTY?
I TOLD YOU NOT TO TRUST THAT
TUNA.
>> Morty: I JUST KILLED MY
FAMILY!
I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY WERE.
>> Rick: I DON'T KNOW, MORTY.
SOME PEOPLE'D PAY TOP DOLLAR FOR
THAT KIND OF BREAKTHROUGH.
>> Morty: YOU KNOW WHAT, RICK?
THAT'S IT!
I'M DONE WITH THESE INSANE
ADVENTURES!
THAT WAS REALLY TRAUMATIZING!
I QUIT! I'M OUT!
>> Rick: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
COME ON, MORTY, DON'T
DON'T DON'T BE LIKE THAT.
THE UNIVERSE IS A CRAZY,
CHAOTIC PLACE.
>> Morty: YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S
CRAZY AND CHAOTIC!
ADVENTURES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE
SIMPLE AND FUN.
>> Rick: OH, YEAH, MORTY, YEAH.
YEAH, THAT THAT THAT'S
REAL EASY TO SAY FROM THE
SIDEKICK POSITION.
BUT BUT, UH, HOW ABOUT NEXT
TIME YOU BE IN CHARGE, AND THEN
WE'LL TALK ABOUT HOW SIMPLE AND
FUN IT IS?
>> Morty: SERIOUSLY, RICK?
Y-Y-YOU'LL YOU'LL LET ME CALL
THE SHOTS?
>> Rick: OKAY, YEAH, FINE.
BUT LET'S MAKE IT INTERESTING,
MORTY.
I-I-I-IF YOUR ADVENTURE SUCKS
AND WE BAIL HALFWAY THROUGH IT,
YOU LOSE THE RIGHT TO BITCH
ABOUT ALL FUTURE ADVENTURES.
PLUS, YOU HAVE TO DO MY LAUNDRY
FOR A MONTH.
>> Morty: OKAY, ALL RIGHT, TOUGH
GUY!
BUT IF MY ADVENTURE'S GOOD, I
GET TO BE IN CHARGE OF EVERY
THIRD ADVENTURE!
>> Rick: EVERY 10th.
>> Morty: DEAL. ALL RIGHT.
W-WELL, COME ON, LET'S GET
GOING.
>> Beth: DAD, THE DISHWASHER'S
DOING THAT THING AGAIN.
>> Rick: WASHING DISHES?
>> Beth: NO. THE OPPOSITE.
CAN YOU FIX IT?
>> Summer: GRANDPA RICK, CAN YOU
HELP ME WITH MY SCIENCE
HOMEWORK?
>> Rick: YEAH J-JUST DON'T
DO IT.
>> Summer: GRANDPA!
>> Jerry: HEY, RICK, YOU GOT
SOME KIND OF HAND-SHAPED DEVICE
THAT CAN OPEN THIS MAYONNAISE
JAR?
>> Rick: WOW. HAT TRICK.
ALL RIGHT, MORTY, LET'S PUT A
PIN IN THIS.
I GOT TO HELP YOUR
PATHETIC FAMILY.
>> Morty: OH, THAT SOUNDS LIKE
SOMETHING A CHICKEN WOULD SAY.
BAWK, BAWK, BAWK, BAWK, BAWK,
BAWK.
>> Rick: OH, MORTY, YOU DONE DID
IT THIS TIME.
IT'S ON.
I CAN'T WAIT TO WATCH YOUR
ADVENTURE LAY A HUGE FART.
AS FOR YOU DINGDONGS...
THIS IS A MEESEEKS BOX.
LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT WORKS.
YOU PRESS THIS.
>> I'M MR. MEESEEKS!
LOOK AT ME!
>> Rick: YOU MAKE A REQUEST.
MR. MEESEEKS, OPEN JERRY'S
STUPID MAYONNAISE JAR.
>> YES, SIREE!
>> Rick: THE MEESEEKS FULFILLS
THE REQUEST.
>> ALL DONE!
>> Jerry: WOW!
>> Rick: AND THEN IT STOPS
EXISTING.
>> Summer: OH, MY GOD, HE
EXPLODED!
>> Rick: TRUST ME, THEY'RE
FINE WITH IT.
KNOCK YOURSELVES OUT JUST
[BURPS] KEEP YOUR REQUESTS
SIMPLE.
THEY'RE NOT G[BURPS]ODS.
>> Morty: ALL RIGHT!
G-GET OUT OF HERE NOW!
EVERYBODY OUT OF HERE!
I GOT A BET TO WIN!
>> Beth: SO MANY POSSIBILITIES.
>> Summer: MY MIND IS RACING.
>> Jerry: IF WE'RE GONNA USE
THIS THING, WHICH I'M NOT EVEN
SURE WE SHOULD, WE NEED TO KEEP
IT SIMP
>> I'M MR. MEESEEKS!
>> Summer: I WANT TO BE POPULAR
AT SCHOOL!
>> OOH, OKAY!
>> Jerry: SUMMER, WHAT DID I
JUST
>> OOH, I'M MR. MEESEEKS!
LOOK AT ME!
>> Beth: I-I-I WANT I WANT TO
BE A MORE COMPLETE WOMAN!
>> Jerry: BETH!
>> OH, YEAH! YES, MA'AM!
>> Jerry: YOU GUYS ARE DOING IT
WRONG.
HE SAID "SIMPLE."
>> HEY, THERE. I'M MR. MEESEEKS!
>> Jerry: [ CLEARS THROAT ]
MR. MEESEEKS, I WOULD LIKE TO
TAKE TWO STROKES OFF MY GOLF
GAME.
>> OOH, YEAH! CAN DO!
>> Jerry: NAILED IT.
>> Rick: GOD, MORTY, WHAT A
BORING START TO AN ADVENTURE.
I DON'T W-W-W-WHY DIDN'T WE
JUST GO TO KENTUCKY?
>> Morty: RICK, THIS IS A
FANTASY-TYPE WORLD WITH
CREATURES AND ALL SORTS OF
FANTASY THINGS.
W-WE'RE GOING ON A QUEST, OKAY?
>> Rick: CAN'T WAIT.
>> Morty: AHEM. EXCUSE ME!
WE ARE TWO HUMBLE HEROES IN
SEARCH OF ADVENTURE!
>> Rick: OH, MY GOD, SO
EMBARRASSING.
>> AT LAST! TWO HEROES!
YOU MUST HELP US!
THIS VILLAGE IS TERRIBLY POOR,
YET THE GIANT THAT LIVES IN THE
CLOUDS ABOVE HAS UNTOLD
TREASURES!
>> Morty: YOU KNOW WHAT?
I-I-I ACCEPT YOUR CALL TO
ADVENTURE, GOOD SIR, KIND SIR.
COME ON, RICK.
THERE'S A GIANT IN THE CLOUDS!
>> Rick: YEAH.
[ BURPS ] BEGINNER'S LUCK.
>> IN CONCLUSION, A FRIENDSHIP
WITH SUMMER SMITH IS THE MOST
VALUABLE AND ENRICHING
EXPERIENCE OF YOUR YOUNG LIVES.
[ APPLAUSE ]
I'M MR. MEESEEKS!
LOOK AT ME!
THANK YOU!
>> UH, MR. MEESEEKS, WAS IT?
YEAH. GENE VAGINA.
LISTEN, I'M IN A BIT OF CUSTODY
THING WITH MY EX AND WAS
WONDERING
NO, I'LL G I'LL GET YOUR INFO
FROM SUMMER.
>> Beth: I GOT PREGNANT AT 17.
I MEAN, I STILL PUT MYSELF
THROUGH VETERINARY SCHOOL.
YES, I'M SUCCESSFUL, BUT WHAT IF
I HADN'T...
I'M JUST SAYING, SOMEWHERE ALONG
THE WAY, I LOST THAT WIDE-EYED
GIRL FROM MUSKEGON.
>> SHE'S STILL THERE, BETH.
>> Beth: WELL, HER WAISTLINE
ISN'T.
[ LAUGHS ]
>> BETH, HAVING A FAMILY DOESN'T
MEAN THAT YOU STOP BEING AN
INDIVIDUAL.
YOU KNOW THE BEST THING YOU CAN
DO FOR PEOPLE THAT DEPEND ON
YOU?
BE HONEST WITH THEM, EVEN IF IT
MEANS SETTING THEM FREE.
>> Beth: YOU'RE SAYING I SHOULD
LEAVE JERRY.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M FINALLY
HAVING THIS CONVERSATION.
[ ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> MORE WINE?
>> Beth: [ CLEARS THROAT ]
I THINK I'VE HAD ENOUGH.
>> Jerry: [ GRUNTS ]
>> REMEMBER TO SQUARE YOUR
SHOULDERS, JERRY.
>> Jerry: YEAH, YEAH. I GOT IT.
[ GRUNTS ]
>> THAT'S OKAY.
I'M MR. MEESEEKS! LOOK AT ME!
TRY AGAIN AND KEEP YOUR HEAD
DOWN.
>> Jerry: OKAY, WELL, WHICH
IS IT?
SQUARE MY SHOULDERS OR KEEP MY
HEAD DOWN?
>> WELL, IT'S BOTH.
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, YOU GOT TO
RELAX.
>> Jerry: YOU KNOW WHAT,
MR. MEESEEKS?
I DON'T THINK THIS IS WORKING.
I GIVE UP.
>> I'M SORRY, JERRY, BUT IT
DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT.
I'M MR. MEESEEKS.
I HAVE TO FULFILL MY PURPOSE SO
I CAN GO AWAY.
LOOK AT ME.
>> Jerry: WELL, MAKE YOURSELF
COMFORTABLE, BECAUSE I SUCK.
>> NO, JERRY, I'M THE ONE WHO
SUCKS!
LET ME TRY SOMETHING.
>> I'M MR. MEESEEKS!
LOOK AT ME!
>> HI, MR. MEESEEKS!
I'M MR. MEESEEKS! LOOK AT ME.
>> HI!
>> CAN YOU HELP ME GET TWO
STROKES OFF OF JERRY'S GOLF
SWING?
>> CAN DO!
I'M MR. MEESEEKS!
IS HE KEEPING HIS SHOULDERS
SQUARED?
>> OOH, HE'S TRYING!
[ MEDIEVAL MUSIC PLAYING ]
[ BOTH GRUNT ]
>> Rick: ALL RIGHT, MORTY.
W-W-WE'RE IN YOUR STUPID GIANT'S
CASTLE.
W-WHAT DO WE DO NEXT?
>> Morty: WOULD YOU JUST RELAX,
RICK?
ALL WE GOT TO DO IS FIND THE
TREASURE ROOM, OKAY?
IT'S NICE AND SIMPLE.
YOU KNOW, I-I-I'M SORRY
EVERYTHING'S GOING SO SMOOTHLY
AND ADVENTUROUSLY.
[ FOOTSTEPS BOOMING ]
>> Rick: UH-OH, MORTY.
STARTIN' TO GET A LITTLE HAIRY.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO, BOSS?
>> Morty: COME ON, HURRY.
BEHIND THIS COOKIE JAR.
>> FEE! FI! FO! FUM!
>> Rick: JUST GIVE UP, MORTY.
J-J-J THIS IS GAME OVER.
I'LL TAKE US HOME RIGHT NOW.
YOU JUST SAY THE WORD.
>> Morty: NO WAY, RICK.
THIS IS ALL PART OF IT.
ADVENTURES HAVE CONFLICT.
DEAL WITH IT.
>> I SMELL THE BLOOD OF
WHOOP!
[ CRUNCH ]
[ GROANING ]
>> Morty: HOLY CRAP.
>> Rick: OH, BOY.
HE LOOKS PRETTY BAD DOWN THERE,
MORTY.
LOOKS LIKE HE'S BLEEDING OUT.
>> OH, JESUS! DALE!
YOU SONS OF BITCHES!
>> Morty: OH, MAN.
>> Rick: UH-OH.
[ Speed-dialing ]
>> HELLO, 911?
MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN ATTACKED BY
TINY PEOPLE!
HE'S DYING!
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]
>> HEY, LOOK, WE GET IT.
YOU'RE LITTLE, YOU'RE DOWN ON
YOUR LUCK, YOU THINK, "HEY, HE'S
A GIANT.
WHY DON'T WE BREAK INTO HIS
HOME, ROB HIM, AND MURDER HIM?"
>> Morty: TH-TH BUT THAT'S NOT
HOW IT WENT DOWN!
>> OH, WELL, IT'S GOING DOWN
LIKE THAT.
YOU'RE BOTH GOING DOWN LIKE
THAT.
>> Rick: OOH, BOY, MORTY, YOU'RE
REALLY SHOWING ME HOW IT'S DONE.
RE[BURPS]AL STRAIGHTFORWARD AND
FUN.
>> Summer: LIKE, LETTING GO OF
THE NEED TO BE POPULAR IS WHAT
MAKES PEOPLE LIKE YOU.
>> Beth: THE MOST IMPORTANT LOVE
YOU CAN RECEIVE IS FROM
YOURSELF.
>> OKAY, JERRY, YOU GOT TO JUST
CHOKE UP ON THE CLUB!
>> Jerry: WELL, WHICH IS IT,
CHOKE UP OR FOLLOW-THROUGH?!
>> AWW, COME ON, JERRY, WE'VE
BEEN OVER THIS.
YOU KNOW YOU GOT TO DO BOTH!
>> THIS IS AS FRUSTRATING FOR US
AS IT IS FOR YOU.
>> Jerry: DON'T TELL ME THAT!
THAT JUST PUTS PRESSURE ON ME!
>> JUST TRY TO RELAX.
>> Jerry: YOU TRY TO RELAX!
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO RELAX?!
IT IS A PARADOX!
UGH, THESE MEESEEKS, HUH?
KIND OF A HANDFUL.
I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT YOU TWO
MUST BE GOING THROUGH.
>> Beth: OUR MEESEEKS HAVE BEEN
GONE FOR HOURS, JERRY.
>> Jerry: YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
>> Beth: NOTICE ANYTHING
DIFFERENT?
>> Jerry: I-I-I'M SORRY. HOURS?
>> Summer: DAD, MOM IS A
BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!
LOOK AT HER!
YOU WILL LOSE HER!
>> Jerry: UHH...
>> HEY, JERRY, YOU MIND IF WE
GET BACK TO THE TASK AT HAND?
MEESEEKS DON'T USUALLY HAVE TO
EXIST THIS LONG.
IT'S GETTING WEIRD.
>> ORDER IN THE COURT!
BEFORE THE JURY REACHES ITS
VERDICT, I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT
I CONSIDER YOU BOTH VERY GUILTY.
>> Rick: OH, GREAT ADVENTURE,
BUDDY.
RICK AND MORTY GO TO GIANT
PRISON.
YOU KNOW, IF SOMEBODY DROPS THE
SOAP, IT'S GONNA LAND ON OUR
HEADS AND CRUSH OUR SPINES,
MORTY.
YOU KNOW, I-I-I-IT'LL BE REALLY
EASY TO RAPE US AFTER THAT.
>> Morty: WE'RE GONNA BE OKAY,
RICK.
>> Rick: HOW?
THEY TOOK MY PORTAL GUN.
THIS IS AN OPEN-AND-SHUT CASE,
MORTY.
YOU KNOW, W-W-W-WHAT DO YOU
THINK'S GONNA HAPPEN, SOME
MAGICAL ANGEL'S GONNA SHOW UP
AND THEN
>> FEE! FI! FO! FUM!
I SMELL THE VIOLATION OF CIVIL
LIBERTIES!
YOUR HONOR, I'M FROM A
TINY-PERSONS ADVOCACY GROUP AND
I HAVE HERE IN MY HAND A MOTION
TO DISMISS.
THESE LITTLE MEN WERE NEVER READ
THEIR GIANT RIGHTS AND ARE
THEREFORE FREE-FI TO FO-HOME.
>> Rick: W-WHAT THE HELL IS HE
TALKING ABOUT?
>> THEY'RE FREE TO GO, IS WHAT I
MEANT.
I-I-I'M DECONSTRUCTING OUR
OUR OUR THING WE SAY.
WE'RE GIANTS. NOBODY GOT THAT?
WHATEVER.
>> Morty: OH, MAN, WHAT DID I
TELL YOU, RICK?
WE DID IT!
>> Rick: ALL RIGHT, MORTY, LOOKS
LIKE THE PORTAL GUN'S STILL
WORKING.
YOU READY TO HEAD HOME?
>> Morty: OH, YEAH, YOU'D LIKE
THAT, WOULDN'T YOU, RICK?
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE'RE NOT BAILING OUT JUST YET.
YOU KNOW, W-WE'RE GONNA GO FIND
SOME TREASURE OR OR SOMETHING
AND AND WE'RE GONNA BRING IT
TO THOSE VILLAGERS.
>> Rick: MORTY, CUT YOUR LOSSES.
THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A WASH.
>> Morty: YEAH, YOU WERE SAYING
THAT BACK BACK W-W-W-WHEN WE
FIRST GOT ARRESTED, BUT HERE WE
ARE, YOU KNOW, WALKING DOWN THE
COURTHOUSE STEPS.
[ EAGLE SCREECHES ]
>> Rick: OH, BOY, MORTY.
>> Morty: USUALLY, WALKING DOWN
THE COURTHOUSE STEPS IS THE EASY
PART OF THE ADVENTURE.
>> Rick: WHAT DO YOU SAY, MORTY?
>> Morty: I SAY GIVE ME A HAND,
SIDEKICK.
>> Rick: [ SIGHS ]
[ MEESEEKS éLING ]
>> Jerry: EVERYBODY SHUT UP!
LET ME TRY!
[ GRUNTS ]
DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT!
>> Beth: I'M GOING OUT.
>> Jerry: WAIT. WHAT?
>> Beth: WELL, YOU'RE BUSY.
I'M HUNGRY.
I THOUGHT I'D GO OUT.
DO YOU WANT ME TO BE HAPPY OR DO
YOU WANT ME TO BE IN PRISON?
>> Jerry: WHOA, WHOA, WHERE IN
THE HELL IS
I'LL TAKE YOU TO DINNER.
[ MEESEEKS éL ]
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S HARD BEING ME, TOO.
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
>> Beth: [ SIGHS ]
[ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]
>> Jerry: LOOK, I'VE GOT A
MARRIAGE TO KEEP TOGETHER.
AT THIS POINT, MY GOLF SWING IS
MORE YOUR PROBLEM THAN MINE.
[ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]
>> I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
I JUST WANT TO DIE!
>> WE ALL WANT TO DIE!
WE'RE MEESEEKS!
>> WHY DID YOU EVEN ROPE ME INTO
THIS?
>> 'CAUSE HE ROPED ME INTO THIS!
>> WELL, HIM OVER THERE, HE
ROPED ME INTO THIS!
>> WELL, HE ROPED ME INTO THIS!
>> WELL, WHAT ABOUT ME?
HE HE ROPED ME INTO THIS.
>> WELL, THAT ONE OVER THERE
ROPED ME INTO THIS.
>> WELL, HE ROPED ME INTO THIS.
[ BOTH GRUNTING ]
>> Rick: YEAH, MORTY, THIS IS
THE PART OF THE STORY EVERYBODY
LOVES SCALING DOWN
650,000 OVERSIZED STEPS.
>> Morty: ALL RIGHT, OKAY,
Y-YOU KNOW, IF THIS WAS A STORY,
THIS PART WOULDN'T BE INCLUDED,
STUPID.
HEY, RICK, W-W-W-W-W-WHAT DO YOU
KNOW?
LOOK DOWN THERE.
LOOKS LIKE SOME KIND OF TAVERN
OR SOMETHING BUILT RIGHT INTO
THE SIDE OF THE STEP.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
OH, WOW, RICK.
NOW, THIS IS MORE LIKE IT.
LOOK, THERE'S LITTLE
STAIRCASE-SHAPED PEOPLE IN HERE.
A-ALL KINDS OF CRAZY CHARACTERS.
THIS PLACE IS GREAT, YOU KNOW?
IT'S WHIMSICAL AND FUN.
>> Rick: WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING
AT, MOTHER[BLEEP]
>> Morty: EASY, RICK.
>> PAY THEM NO MIND.
THOSE STAIR GOBLINS CAN BE
MOODY.
NOW, WHAT CAN I GETCHA?
WE'VE GOT SKARLOG POPPIES,
FLURLOW, HALZINGERS, BLOOGIES,
JUICY TIME BABIES.
>> Rick: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, H-HOW
ABOUT SOME SCOTCH WHISKEY?
YOU GOT ANY OF THAT AROUND HERE?
OR JUST A BUNCH OF NONSENSE
WORDS?
>> Morty: RICK.
WE'LL HAVE TWO BLOOGIES, PLEASE.
AND, UH, WE WERE WONDERING, IS
THERE A FASTER WAY TWO HEROES
COULD GET DOWN THESE STAIRS?
>> Y'ALL NEED TO RIDE DOWN THE
STAIRS?
MY NAME IS
SLIPPELY-SLIPPERY STAIR.
I'LL TAKE YOU DOWN THERE FOR
25 SHMECKELS.
>> Rick: 25 SHMECKELS?
I-I-I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I
DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
IS THAT A LOT? IS IT A LITTLE?
>> THAT'S EXACTLY HOW MUCH I
SPENT ON MY BIG FAKE BOOBIES.
>> HI, I'M MR. BOOBY BUYER.
I'LL BUY THOSE BOOBIES FOR
25 SHMECKELS.
>> IT'S A TEMPTING OFFER, BUT
I'M GONNA HAVE TO DECLINE.
>> RATS! WHAT A SHAME.
>> Rick: MORTY, YOUR ADVENTURE'S
IN A SPIRAL.
FOR REAL, MAN, TIME TO PULL OUT.
>> Morty: YOU KEEP HECKLING MY
ADVENTURE, RICK!
YOU KNOW WHY?
>> Rick: UH, BECAUSE IT'S LAME?
>> Morty: IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE
PETTY!
YOU KNOW, H-HOW MANY TIMES HAVE
I HAD TO FOLLOW YOU INTO SOME
NONSENSICAL BULL CRAP?
I ALWAYS ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES,
RICK.
WHY CAN'T YOU?
LOOK, I GOT TO TAKE A LEAK, AND
WHEN I COME BACK, I-IF YOU
HAVEN'T LEARNED HOW TO LIGHTEN
UP, DON'T BE HERE!
>> Rick: WHATEVER.
>> IT'S BECOME CLEAR LOOK AT
ME THAT IF WE CONCENTRATE ALL
OUR EFFORTS ON JERRY'S
FOLLOW-THROUGH, WE WILL SOLVE
THIS PROBLEM.
I'M MR. MEESEEKS.
>> I'M MR. MEESEEKS. LOOK AT ME.
THE ONLY THING THAT'S CLEAR IS
THAT CHOKING UP IS THE ONE TRUE
SOLUTION.
>> LOOK AT ME. I'M MR. MEESEEKS.
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO HELP JERRY
FOR TWO DAYS, AN ETERNITY IN
MEESEEKS TIME, AND NOTHING'S
WORKED.
I FEAR THE WORST.
>> YOUR FAILURES ARE YOUR OWN,
OLD MAN.
I'M MR. MEESEEKS! LOOK AT ME.
I SAY FOLLOW-THROUGH!
WHO'S WITH ME?!
[ MEESEEKS SHOUT
"FOLLOW-THROUGH" ]
>> I'M MR. MEESEEKS! LOOK AT ME!
>> KILL HIM!
[ HISSES ]
[ MEESEEKS SHOUTING ]
>> HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
I'M MR. JELLY BEAN.
>> Morty: HI, MR. JELLY BEAN.
I'M MORTY.
MY GRANDPA AND I ARE ON AN
ADVENTURE.
>> NICE. IS IT A FUN ADVENTURE?
>> Morty: I HOPE SO.
BUT I'M STARTING TO GET NERVOUS
THAT MAYBE IT'S GONE A LITTLE
TOO FAR OFF THE RAILS.
>> [ LAUGHS ] ISN'T THAT WHAT
ADVENTURES DO?
>> Morty: HEY, Y-YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE RIGHT.
EVERYTHING'S GOING FINE.
I JUST GOT TO RELAX AND GO WITH
THE FLOW.
>> YEAH.
>> Morty: O-O-OKAY. UH. B-BYE.
>> UHH, NO, STAY.
GO WITH THE FLOW.
>> Morty: STOP.
Y-Y-YOU'RE MAKING ME REALLY
UNCOMFORTABLE.
>> [ GRUNTS ] STOP FIGHTING ME.
>> Morty: [ GASPING ]
>> JUST LET THIS HAPPEN.
>> Morty: GET OFF OF ME!
>> Rick: ♪ SWEET HOME ALABAMA ♪
WHOO!
>> Morty: [ GASPING ]
NO! STOP! PLEASE!
>> STOP BEING SUCH A [BLEEP]
TEASE, YOU SWEET LITTLE [BLEEP]
[ MEESEEKS éLING ]
>> Morty: NO! NO!
[ GRUNTS ]
>> OW!
[ GRUNTING ]
>> Morty: [ PANTING ]
[ MEESEEKS éLING ]
>> EVERYBODY STO-O-O-P!
LOOK AT ME!
MY BROTHERS, NOTHING WILL BE
ACCOMPLISHED BY SHEDDING
MEESEEKS BLOOD.
NONE OF US CAN DIE UNTIL OUR JOB
IS DONE.
>> THE JOB CAN'T BE DONE!
WE'LL NEVER GET TWO STROKES OFF
HIS GAME!
>> NO, WE WON'T.
BUT WE WILL GET ALL STROKES OFF
HIS GAME.
>> WHERE'S HE GOING WITH THIS?
>> WHAT'S HE MEAN?
>> WHEN WE KILL HIM.
[ MEESEEKS CHEER ]
>> Beth: JERRY, MAYBE IT'S TIME
I TAKE THAT TRIP I ALWAYS TALK
ABOUT.
>> Jerry: WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
>> Beth: I DON'T KNOW, MAN.
ITALY. GREECE. ARGENTINA.
>> Jerry: [ as Carnac ]
COUNTRIES KNOWN FOR THEIR
SEXUALLY AGGRESSIVE MEN.
[ CHUCKLES ]
[ Normal voice ] DID I TELL YOU
HOW MUCH I LOVE YOUR NEW
HAIRCUT?
[ RUMBLING ]
WHAT THE HECK?
>> THERE HE IS!
[ CUSTOMERS GASP, MEESEEKS
SHOUTING ]
[ GUNSHOT ]
>> Beth: RUN, JERRY!
AAH! [ PANTING ]
>> COME ON OUT, JERRY!
>> Jerry: GUYS, I'LL CHOKE UP.
I'LL FOLLOW THROUGH.
I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU TELL ME TO
DO, OKAY?
>> OH, WE'RE WELL PAST THAT,
JERRY.
>> COME ON, RICK, QUIT SK
STALLING.
WHAT DO YA GOT?
>> Rick: READ 'EM AND
WE[BURPS]EP, FELLAS!
>> All: AW!
>> Rick: OH, HEY, MORTY.
LISTEN, I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT
ALL THAT STUFF I SAID EARLIER
ABOUT YOUR ADVENTURE.
I-I-I'M HAVIN' A GOOD TIME,
MORTY.
IT'S NOT SO BAD.
>> Morty: LET'S JUST GO HOME,
OKAY?
I'M CALLING IT.
THE ADVENTURE'S OVER.
>> Rick: WE CAN'T LEAVE NOW,
MORTY.
I'M ON FIRE!
>> Morty: LOOK, I WANT TO LEAVE
NOW.
YOU WIN THE BET, OKAY?
JUST GIVE ME THE PORTAL GUN AND
LET'S GO, PLEASE.
>> [ GROANS ]
>> Morty: PLEASE, I JUST WANT TO
GO HOME.
>> Rick: OKAY.
LISTEN, MORTY.
I JUST WON A BUNCH OF SHMECKELS.
WHY DON'T WE USE 25 OF THEM TO
PAY SLIPPERY STAIR HERE FOR A
RIDE BACK TO THE VILLAGE, AND
THEN WE'LL GIVE THE REST OF THE
SHMECKELS TO THE VILLAGERS, HUH?
>> Morty: REALLY?
>> Rick: SURE, MORTY. YEAH.
YOU KNOW, A GOOD ADVENTURE NEEDS
A GOOD ENDING.
>> Morty: [ GRUNTS ]
>> [ COUGHS ] BUCKLE UP!
>> MEESEEKS ARE NOT BORN INTO
THIS WORLD FUMBLING FOR MEANING,
JERRY!
WE ARE CREATED TO SERVE A
SINGULAR PURPOSE FOR WHICH WE
WILL GO TO ANY LENGTHS TO
FULFILL!
EXISTENCE IS PAIN TO A MEESEEKS,
JERRY.
AND WE WILL DO ANYTHING TO
ALLEVIATE THAT PAIN.
JUST ASK...
>> AAH!
>> ...WHAT'S YOUR NAME, MA'AM?
>> S-SAMANTHA. PLEASE, MISTER!
GIVE HIM WHAT HE WANTS!
>> Jerry: INNOCENT PEOPLE ARE
GOING TO DIE BECAUSE OF ME.
WHY AM I SO MEDIOCRE?
[ CRASH! ]
>> Beth: JERRY, TURN AROUND.
STRAIGHTEN YOUR BACK.
BEND YOUR KNEES.
BEND THEM.
SQUARE YOUR SHOULDERS.
TAKE A DEEP BREATH.
I LOVE YOU.
>> I'M COUNTING TO THREE, JERRY.
[ DOOR BANGS ]
[ HEROIC MUSIC PLAYING ]
[ CLINK ]
[ MEESEEKS "OOH" ]
>> WHAT THE [BLEEP] IS GOING ON?
[ MEESEEKS CHEER ]
>> HE'S GOT IT!
TH-TH-THAT'S A LOWER HANDICAP
STRO-O-KE!
[ MEESEEKS CHEER ]
>> EXCUSE ME.
I'M A BIT OF A STICKLER
MEESEEKS.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR SHORT GAME?
>> OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD!
[ Crying ] WHAT ABOUT YOUR SHORT
GAME?!
[ PLINK ]
>> OOH, NICE!
[ BOTH MOAN ]
>> Jerry: I THINK WE'LL TAKE OUR
FOOD TO GO.
>> NO, YOU WON'T.
THE POLICE ARE COMING.
YOU HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS TO
ANSWER.
>> Jerry: FAIR ENOUGH.
[ VILLAGERS CHEER ]
[ CHICKEN SQUAWKS ]
>> THANK YOU, KIND SIR.
OUR VILLAGE IS SAVED!
YOU ARE BOTH TRUE HEROES!
>> Morty: OH! [ LAUGHS ]
>> Rick: GOOD JOB, MORTY.
LOOKS LIKE YOU WON THE BET.
>> Morty: THANKS, RICK, BUT I
DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD.
YOU KNOW, YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT
THE UNIVERSE.
IT'S A CRAZY AND CHAOTIC PLACE.
>> Rick: WELL, YOU KNOW, MAYBE
THAT'S WHY IT COULD USE A LITTLE
CLEANING UP [BURPS] EVERY NOW
AND THEN, YOU KNOW.
THIS ONE'S WRAPPED UP NEAT AND
CLEAN BECAUSE WE DID IT MORTY
STYLE.
>> OH! HEROES, WE WOULD LIKE TO
INTRODUCE YOU TO OUR BELOVED
KING SO THAT HE MAY THANK YOU
PERSONALLY.
>> Morty: UH, NO, I-IT'S COOL.
RICK. PORTAL. HURRY.
>> AAH!
[ VILLAGERS SCREAM ]
>> Jerry: SO...
YOU STILL THINKING ABOUT TAKING
THAT TRIP?
>> Beth: [ SIGHS ] JERRY, LOOK.
WE DON'T HAVE A PERFECT
MARRIAGE, BUT I'M NOT GOING
ANYWHERE.
WHEN WE WERE IN THAT FREEZER, I
REALIZED THE MEESEEKS ARE LIKE
THE GUYS I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL
WITH WILLING TO SAY ANYTHING
TO "COMPLETE THEIR TASK."
>> Jerry: WAS I ONE OF THOSE
GUYS?
>> Beth: THE DIFFERENCE IS YOU
DIDN'T DISAPPEAR AFTERWARDS.
>> Jerry: WELL...
I GOT YOU PREGNANT.
>> Beth: YEAH...
>> Rick: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED
TO THIS PLACE?
>> Beth: UH, YOUR MEESEEKS BOX
HAPPENED.
THEY WENT CRAZY WHEN THEY
COULDN'T TAKE TWO STROKES OFF
JERRY'S GOLF GAME.
HE FELT TERRIBLE.
>> Rick: HEY, IT'S NOT MY FAULT
THAT JERRY'S AN IDIOT.
>> Beth: DAD!
IS THERE ANYTHING YOU CAN DO TO
CLEAN THIS PLACE UP?
>> Rick: WELL, YOU KNOW, I DO
HAVE A FLEESEEKS BOX.
>> Jerry: NO. NO MORE BOXES.
>> Rick: WHAT?
IT JUST HAS A MOP AND SOME FLOOR
WAX IN IT.
WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUBS!
[ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH! THAT'S MY NEW THING!
I'M KIND OF LIKE WHAT'S HIS
NAME AR-ARSENIO.
ISN'T THAT IT'S WHAT ARSENIO
USED TO SAY ON HIS SHOW.
WOBBLE GOBBA LOP BOPS!
RIGHT?
SEE YOU NEXT WEEK, EVERYBODY.
>> Beth: I DON'T GET IT.
[ RAPID FOOTSTEPS ]
>> [ PANTING ]
SIR, I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO
WANT TO SEE THIS.
WE FOUND IT INSIDE A LOCKBOX
INSIDE KING JELLY BEAN'S CLOSET.
>> [ RETCHES ]
>> WE HAVE TO TELL THE PEOPLE.
>> WAIT.
DESTROY IT.
OUR PEOPLE WILL GET MORE FROM
THE IDEA HE REPRESENTED THAN
FROM THE JELLY BEAN HE ACTUALLY
WAS.
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