1
00:00:02,265 --> 00:00:04,834
Time and
tide, they wait for no man.
2
00:00:04,835 --> 00:00:08,137
Nor do I, Mr. Tunt, nor do I.
And unless my demands are
3
00:00:08,138 --> 00:00:11,307
met, I will launch my nerve
gas missiles on New York,
4
00:00:11,308 --> 00:00:15,177
Washington and Miami in...
Eleven hours and -- oh look at
5
00:00:15,178 --> 00:00:17,780
that, eleven minutes.
Hey, make a wish.
6
00:00:17,781 --> 00:00:21,150
Uh, I wish you wouldn't
launch nerve gas missiles on
7
00:00:21,151 --> 00:00:23,351
New York, Washing-
And I wish you fools
8
00:00:23,471 --> 00:00:27,757
would stop destroying the oceans! Overfishing,
industrial runoff, don't even get me
9
00:00:27,758 --> 00:00:31,231
started on whaling, oh, and
plastic bottles?! That's --
10
00:00:31,351 --> 00:00:35,197
I can't even - there is a floating
mass of garbage in the Pacific
11
00:00:35,198 --> 00:00:38,334
twice the size of the United States!
Oh, and where the hell
12
00:00:38,335 --> 00:00:40,202
is the news crew I asked for?!
13
00:00:40,203 --> 00:00:44,640
With me! And with your permission,
I'm sending them down in the DSV.
14
00:00:44,641 --> 00:00:47,610
Good, yes! I need to
get my message to the world!
15
00:00:47,611 --> 00:00:49,078
Who'd you get? Oprah?
16
00:00:49,079 --> 00:00:50,312
Bigger.
17
00:00:50,313 --> 00:00:52,615
- Ya know...
- Hello. Is that her?
18
00:00:52,616 --> 00:00:55,585
I -- oh right,
he can't see us.
19
00:00:55,586 --> 00:00:58,821
Which has really got me...
nettled!
20
00:00:58,822 --> 00:01:05,862
Alright, Mr. Tunt, send them down.
But if this is some sort of ruse...
21
00:01:05,863 --> 00:01:09,264
Are -- was there
a follow-up, or...?
22
00:01:09,265 --> 00:01:11,000
No, I was leaving
the consequences to your
23
00:01:11,001 --> 00:01:16,105
imagination. But trust me, they are grave.
As in watery grave?
24
00:01:16,106 --> 00:01:18,440
I -
Sealab out!
25
00:01:18,441 --> 00:01:21,844
God damn it! Off! Turn
off, you...
26
00:01:21,845 --> 00:01:26,248
- So, I have a question...
- How are none of these a minibar?!
27
00:01:26,249 --> 00:01:29,218
Oh my God, I know what
you mean, right? I mean it is a
28
00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:30,920
giant floating biodiesel-
29
00:01:30,921 --> 00:01:32,555
powered hotel room...
30
00:01:32,556 --> 00:01:33,723
Don't get snotty with
31
00:01:33,724 --> 00:01:36,792
me, missy! You people lure us
out here to help the government
32
00:01:36,793 --> 00:01:39,562
recover a hydrogen bomb-
Which, let's be honest,
33
00:01:39,563 --> 00:01:40,997
you were going to
hold for ransom.
34
00:01:40,998 --> 00:01:43,733
Reward! When the whole
time you knew this crazy Murphy
35
00:01:43,734 --> 00:01:46,636
character was going to bomb
New York with nerve gas?!
36
00:01:46,637 --> 00:01:47,302
Well!
37
00:01:47,303 --> 00:01:49,104
Not to mention D.C.
and Miami.
38
00:01:49,105 --> 00:01:50,840
Which no one
who matters will miss.
39
00:01:50,841 --> 00:01:52,474
What about your
South Beach condo?
40
00:01:52,475 --> 00:01:55,177
Hello! Florida real
estate collapse! It's farther
41
00:01:55,178 --> 00:01:59,114
underwater than Sealab. But if
my homeowner's policy covers
42
00:01:59,115 --> 00:02:01,350
nerve gas attacks,
that's a win-win.
43
00:02:01,351 --> 00:02:05,588
Wow. So my question,
ignoring the obvious one of why
44
00:02:05,589 --> 00:02:08,190
an ocean research lab has nerve
gas missiles in the first
45
00:02:08,191 --> 00:02:12,327
place! Is how many men
does Murphy have?
46
00:02:12,328 --> 00:02:14,830
Mmmmmlike, two?
47
00:02:14,831 --> 00:02:15,965
Oh, then -
48
00:02:15,966 --> 00:02:17,466
Score. Two score, so
49
00:02:17,467 --> 00:02:20,135
around forty, sorry, should've
50
00:02:20,136 --> 00:02:21,303
finished that thmmpf.
51
00:02:21,304 --> 00:02:24,473
Sooo, since we're talking
about forty hostiles, I
52
00:02:24,474 --> 00:02:25,841
have a follow up question.
53
00:02:25,842 --> 00:02:28,878
Something
something danger zone?!
54
00:02:28,879 --> 00:02:31,847
- Ahhhhh!
- I know, I'm not even trying anymore.
55
00:02:31,848 --> 00:02:34,116
Archer-
Noop! Randy! I'm
56
00:02:34,117 --> 00:02:36,285
Cameradude Randy, and this
57
00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:40,056
pathetic, trout-shouldered excuse
for a boom operator is Chet.
58
00:02:40,057 --> 00:02:42,692
Shut up, what's
pathetic is your plan!
59
00:02:42,693 --> 00:02:44,994
Wait, you have
an actual plan?
60
00:02:44,995 --> 00:02:47,930
Duh, yes Lana. So,
obviously they're gonna search
61
00:02:47,931 --> 00:02:52,367
us for weapons when we get down
there, so wait whaaaaaaaat?
62
00:02:52,368 --> 00:02:54,436
Something else danger zone.
63
00:02:54,437 --> 00:02:56,405
Get Murphy alone, get
him at gunpoint, and make him
64
00:02:56,406 --> 00:02:59,208
disarm the missiles. Ya know,
that might actually work.
65
00:02:59,209 --> 00:03:02,712
Of course it'll work, I've thought
through every aspect of the mission.
66
00:03:02,713 --> 00:03:05,781
Hence those ridiculous
fake mustaches, since Murphy's
67
00:03:05,782 --> 00:03:09,118
never seen you before and has
no idea what you look like?
68
00:03:09,119 --> 00:03:10,853
God damn it, Archer!
69
00:03:10,854 --> 00:03:13,856
No, that was just an experiment.
I wanted to see if Ray looked
70
00:03:13,857 --> 00:03:15,124
gayer without his.
71
00:03:15,125 --> 00:03:20,096
- Ya know...
- But you don't. You just look as gay.
72
00:03:20,097 --> 00:03:21,230
Boop.
73
00:03:21,932 --> 00:03:32,121
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
74
00:03:56,301 --> 00:03:58,735
Sea Tunt to DSV Goddess.
Wait for my command to
75
00:03:58,736 --> 00:04:00,037
disengage the coupler.
76
00:04:00,038 --> 00:04:02,706
Roger Sea Tunt, on your-
Noop! Lana
77
00:04:02,707 --> 00:04:03,540
move, I'm skippering.
78
00:04:03,541 --> 00:04:06,043
- Archer, no!
- Goddammit I'm skippering!
79
00:04:06,044 --> 00:04:08,478
AAHHHHH!!!
80
00:04:08,479 --> 00:04:12,682
Huh. Mildly
inauspicious.
81
00:04:12,683 --> 00:04:13,683
Asshole.
82
00:04:13,684 --> 00:04:16,453
What Lana, I clearly
called "skipper!" And I clearly
83
00:04:16,454 --> 00:04:20,991
said "seatbelts," so... You
only have yourselves to blame.
84
00:04:20,992 --> 00:04:21,725
Really?
85
00:04:21,726 --> 00:04:23,860
Jesus, Ray!
Your nose is broken!
86
00:04:23,861 --> 00:04:24,661
Really?
87
00:04:24,662 --> 00:04:26,530
Cyril, gear bag!
First aid kit!
88
00:04:26,531 --> 00:04:29,733
Just give him a couple of tampons.
What, that's their job.
89
00:04:29,734 --> 00:04:30,500
Really?
90
00:04:30,501 --> 00:04:32,702
Just give him some tam-
I don't have any!
91
00:04:32,703 --> 00:04:34,738
Do you...
think that was wise?
92
00:04:34,739 --> 00:04:36,006
Meaning?
93
00:04:36,007 --> 00:04:38,342
Well I'm just assuming,
I mean, your breasts
94
00:04:38,343 --> 00:04:40,277
are slightly bigger, you're-
Shut your stupid
95
00:04:40,278 --> 00:04:43,513
mustachey dickhole and drive
the goddamn submarine!
96
00:04:43,514 --> 00:04:45,682
Slightly irritable?
97
00:04:45,683 --> 00:04:47,084
Shut up!
98
00:04:47,085 --> 00:04:49,086
Jesus, will you drop it?!
99
00:04:49,087 --> 00:04:50,921
He tried to have me committed
so he could steal my
100
00:04:50,922 --> 00:04:54,391
inheritance! I hate him and I'm
never speaking to him again ever!
101
00:04:54,392 --> 00:04:57,995
But -- okay granted, that
was super shitty. But trust me,
102
00:04:57,996 --> 00:05:00,197
you don't want to go through
life hating your only sibling.
103
00:05:00,198 --> 00:05:04,034
- Take my sister Edie...
- Ha, ha, ha, you have a sister?
104
00:05:04,035 --> 00:05:06,636
Edie, yes, shut up, and
when we were kids she was so
105
00:05:06,637 --> 00:05:10,274
mean to me? Always teasing me,
calling me Spamela, rubbing
106
00:05:10,275 --> 00:05:13,577
cheese curds in my eyes? One
time she stabbed me in the neck?
107
00:05:13,578 --> 00:05:15,946
So, now you
guys are super-close, or...?
108
00:05:15,947 --> 00:05:18,949
Ha ha ha, hell no, I wouldn't
piss on her neck-stabbin ass if
109
00:05:18,950 --> 00:05:20,217
it was on fire.
110
00:05:20,218 --> 00:05:22,152
Ugh, is this
the infamous Edie?
111
00:05:22,153 --> 00:05:24,121
Yeah, Pam thinks
I should forgive Cecil since
112
00:05:24,122 --> 00:05:25,856
he's the only
family I have left.
113
00:05:25,857 --> 00:05:29,093
Who could forgive a person who
buys a boat this big with no bar on it?!
114
00:05:29,094 --> 00:05:31,495
There was a ton
of booze on the helicopter...
115
00:05:31,496 --> 00:05:35,299
- Exactly, was...
- Yeah sorry, I had to ditch it.
116
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:37,667
Well yeah, who needs a
first aid kit when you've got
117
00:05:37,668 --> 00:05:38,835
ten gallons of booze?!
118
00:05:38,836 --> 00:05:42,139
Three and three-fifths
gallons, Cyril, and I counted
119
00:05:42,140 --> 00:05:43,573
'em so keep your mitts off!
120
00:05:43,574 --> 00:05:48,178
Except to pass me one up here, but-
Oh great! The world's first DSVUI!
121
00:05:48,179 --> 00:05:50,647
May I finish?! But
since I have zero experience
122
00:05:50,648 --> 00:05:54,018
skippering submersibles, I
should probably have something
123
00:05:54,019 --> 00:05:58,288
light! So Cyril, I'm
thinking coffee liqueur?
124
00:05:58,289 --> 00:06:00,924
I mean, not
even cooking sherry?
125
00:06:00,925 --> 00:06:03,160
I got some Kentucky Moon in my-
Ooh, gimme!
126
00:06:03,161 --> 00:06:05,829
Dut dut dut dut! You drink
it, you replace it. Grain
127
00:06:05,830 --> 00:06:08,432
alcohol's a key component
of a good bug-out bag.
128
00:06:08,433 --> 00:06:09,433
A what?
129
00:06:09,434 --> 00:06:12,969
Bug-out bag? Oh
my God, for teotwaki?!
130
00:06:12,970 --> 00:06:14,505
The bear
from Star Wars?
131
00:06:14,506 --> 00:06:16,873
The end of the
world as we know it!
132
00:06:16,874 --> 00:06:20,444
Pam's like, gay
for doomsday, she thinks our
133
00:06:20,445 --> 00:06:24,381
whole society's gonna collapse if
we run out of oil or whatever.
134
00:06:24,382 --> 00:06:28,352
If?! You mean when!
Wow, and that is a perfect
135
00:06:28,353 --> 00:06:31,055
example of a pre-post-peak-oil
136
00:06:31,056 --> 00:06:32,022
mindset. The --
137
00:06:32,023 --> 00:06:35,292
Ahhh. Say, this stuff
138
00:06:35,293 --> 00:06:37,394
is pretty good. What
did you say it was?
139
00:06:37,395 --> 00:06:38,995
Basically pure ethanol?
140
00:06:38,996 --> 00:06:41,831
Huh. Well God
bless corn subsidies.
141
00:06:41,832 --> 00:06:44,301
Who're
you, Earl Butz?
142
00:06:44,302 --> 00:06:46,403
You say that
like it's a bad thing.
143
00:06:46,404 --> 00:06:48,539
Oh for the--
I said I was sorry!
144
00:06:48,540 --> 00:06:49,906
No you didn't!
145
00:06:49,907 --> 00:06:51,641
Oh. Well I
was planning to.
146
00:06:51,642 --> 00:06:53,043
Oh, well
then no hard feelings.
147
00:06:53,044 --> 00:06:55,279
Good, because your
shitty sarcasm notwithstanding,
148
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:58,315
I'm glad that's behind us so we
can enjoy what is probably a
149
00:06:58,316 --> 00:07:00,984
once in a lifetime ad-
Rrrowrff!
150
00:07:00,985 --> 00:07:02,519
venture, again?
151
00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,854
Seriously? Why are
you puking so much?
152
00:07:04,855 --> 00:07:06,856
Ugh, because
shut up and steer.
153
00:07:06,857 --> 00:07:08,492
Here, take a
pull off this guy.
154
00:07:08,493 --> 00:07:10,527
No! For the
like, ninth time, no!
155
00:07:10,528 --> 00:07:13,464
Yes, c'mon, it'll take the edge off.
And I think I
156
00:07:13,465 --> 00:07:15,232
speak for everybody-
No you don't.
157
00:07:15,233 --> 00:07:19,169
-- shut up, when I say we'd all
be a lot happier if you weren't so...
158
00:07:19,170 --> 00:07:22,339
What, anxious?! About a
half-drunk first-time-driving-a-
159
00:07:22,340 --> 00:07:25,842
submarine idiot taking me to the
bottom of the ocean to face
160
00:07:25,843 --> 00:07:28,979
forty eco-terrorists led by a
crazy person who's about to
161
00:07:28,980 --> 00:07:33,016
bomb the entire east
coast with nerve gas?!
162
00:07:33,017 --> 00:07:36,853
I was gonna say-
What?! What were you gonna say?!
163
00:07:36,854 --> 00:07:39,289
They're going to say
that I've gone insane, that
164
00:07:39,290 --> 00:07:45,996
I've lost my mind. And that's fine, let them.
Because the real insanity is the
165
00:07:45,997 --> 00:07:49,199
systematic, my God the almost
deliberate way, those bastards
166
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,401
are destroying our oceans.
167
00:07:51,402 --> 00:07:55,705
And I hate that it's come to this, but
I truly don't see an alternative.
168
00:07:55,706 --> 00:08:00,611
So, you all know what you have to
do, and I know you won't fail me.
169
00:08:00,612 --> 00:08:06,216
Nor I you, gentlemen...
nor I you.
170
00:08:06,217 --> 00:08:13,056
I was gonna say "bitchy and
periody" but then I thought better of it.
171
00:08:17,925 --> 00:08:20,393
Okay, we're getting close.
Let's go over
172
00:08:20,394 --> 00:08:21,661
the legends again. Lana?
173
00:08:21,662 --> 00:08:25,665
I am tough-but-fair investigative
reporter Sojourner King.
174
00:08:25,666 --> 00:08:27,334
Which, ugh, whatever.
175
00:08:27,335 --> 00:08:28,534
Cyril?
176
00:08:28,535 --> 00:08:30,871
Chet, sound guy.
177
00:08:30,872 --> 00:08:33,706
That's it? C'mon Chet,
the devil's in the details!
178
00:08:33,707 --> 00:08:37,310
Like, I'm Randy Magnum, local
Emmy-winning cameraman and
179
00:08:37,311 --> 00:08:39,479
nationally ranked
pro kitesurfer.
180
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:40,313
No you're not.
181
00:08:40,314 --> 00:08:41,481
Well Randy Magnum is!
182
00:08:41,482 --> 00:08:42,448
Ray, go.
183
00:08:42,449 --> 00:08:46,052
- I am segment producer Carl Channing...
- Oh my God, c'mon...
184
00:08:46,053 --> 00:08:48,054
And -- what's
Randy Magnum ranked?
185
00:08:48,055 --> 00:08:48,989
Fourth.
186
00:08:48,990 --> 00:08:51,124
And third-ranked
pro kitesurfer.
187
00:08:51,125 --> 00:08:52,692
What?! No you're not!
188
00:08:52,693 --> 00:08:53,559
Carl Channing is.
189
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,595
Nobody is a nationally
ranked anything! That is the
190
00:08:55,596 --> 00:08:58,631
worst legend you could possibly
have, it would literally take
191
00:08:58,632 --> 00:09:00,333
ten seconds to check it out!
192
00:09:00,334 --> 00:09:01,801
Yeah, Carl.
193
00:09:01,802 --> 00:09:04,404
Okay, shut
up, there it is.
194
00:09:04,405 --> 00:09:07,908
Jeezy Petes,
that thing is huge!
195
00:09:07,909 --> 00:09:09,742
Sealab to DSV, over?
196
00:09:09,743 --> 00:09:11,811
This is-
This is DSV I'm skippering!
197
00:09:11,812 --> 00:09:13,579
Um, okay. You
sound pretty excited.
198
00:09:13,580 --> 00:09:15,882
I am, actually.
It's my first time.
199
00:09:15,883 --> 00:09:17,517
Hey, super.
200
00:09:17,518 --> 00:09:19,920
You're clear to dock, so
just head for the lights.
201
00:09:19,921 --> 00:09:21,721
And I'll be waiting for you.
202
00:09:22,756 --> 00:09:27,527
Was that -- did he sound -- do
you think this is some kind of trap?
203
00:09:27,528 --> 00:09:33,199
What? No, I don't think it's a trap!
Although I never do...
204
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,901
And it very often is.
205
00:09:34,902 --> 00:09:38,905
- And that's how they died...
- Right?
206
00:09:38,906 --> 00:09:43,743
A little peach juice, a little
of that old Kentucky Moon, and... boom.
207
00:09:43,744 --> 00:09:45,912
You've almost got
yourself a Bellini.
208
00:09:45,913 --> 00:09:46,446
Mmmm!
209
00:09:46,447 --> 00:09:48,181
Holy shitsnacks!
210
00:09:48,182 --> 00:09:50,683
Well it's no Harry's
Bar, but here you don't have
211
00:09:50,684 --> 00:09:54,020
Hemingway grabbing
your tits every time you-
212
00:09:54,021 --> 00:09:56,622
Did I misread that?
213
00:09:56,623 --> 00:09:58,691
What do you think?
214
00:09:58,692 --> 00:10:00,093
No?
215
00:10:00,094 --> 00:10:02,095
No, my men
are guarding the missiles.
216
00:10:02,096 --> 00:10:03,463
Well there
goes that plan.
217
00:10:03,464 --> 00:10:04,597
What plan?
218
00:10:04,598 --> 00:10:09,269
To... do a one-on-one interview,
just you alone, with the missiles?
219
00:10:09,270 --> 00:10:11,637
No, we're doing it on the
bridge, I've already got it all set up.
220
00:10:11,638 --> 00:10:13,806
But I really think we
should do it wherever the
221
00:10:13,807 --> 00:10:16,977
missiles are, to underscore
the gravity of the -
222
00:10:16,978 --> 00:10:18,644
The bridge is
where the chair is.
223
00:10:18,645 --> 00:10:21,081
But-
The bridge is where the chair is!
224
00:10:21,082 --> 00:10:22,382
Yeah, Sojourner.
225
00:10:22,383 --> 00:10:23,716
Thank you, uh...?
226
00:10:23,717 --> 00:10:27,153
Randy, Randy Magnum,
I'm a local Emmy-winning
227
00:10:27,154 --> 00:10:29,555
cameraman and nash -
Nooo!
228
00:10:29,556 --> 00:10:32,325
-- shunally ranked pro
kitesurfer, second in the
229
00:10:32,326 --> 00:10:37,397
nation, actually, which even the most
cursory internet search will corroborate.
230
00:10:38,265 --> 00:10:39,632
I really doubt
we'll have time, Randy.
231
00:10:39,633 --> 00:10:43,069
We only have ten hours before
I'll be forced to launch my missiles.
232
00:10:43,070 --> 00:10:45,771
Which are where
again, exactly?
233
00:10:45,772 --> 00:10:46,839
You heard me!
234
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:48,774
I want fifty million dollars!
235
00:10:48,775 --> 00:10:50,110
Pff, join the club.
236
00:10:50,111 --> 00:10:50,776
Right?
237
00:10:50,777 --> 00:10:53,546
That's how much I could've gotten
for the hydrogen bomb, so that's how
238
00:10:53,547 --> 00:10:56,416
much I -- what do you
mean, join the club?
239
00:10:56,417 --> 00:10:59,152
Oh, that's just an idiom, it means-
I know what it means,
240
00:10:59,153 --> 00:11:01,921
you toboggan-wearing ass,
why did she say it?!
241
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:04,257
Oh. I assume
because I'm penniless?
242
00:11:04,258 --> 00:11:04,857
What?!
243
00:11:04,858 --> 00:11:07,027
Ha, ha, oh.
244
00:11:07,028 --> 00:11:08,194
Wait, what?
245
00:11:08,195 --> 00:11:10,330
That's why I
tried to get control of your
246
00:11:10,331 --> 00:11:13,699
inheritance. And I'm sorry
I did that, Beans. I just
247
00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:17,470
wanted to help people, but all these
foundations are so expensive.
248
00:11:17,471 --> 00:11:20,206
I know, but Cecil!
You really spent your
249
00:11:20,207 --> 00:11:22,142
whole inheritance on...
the poors?
250
00:11:22,143 --> 00:11:24,844
Well, and scientific research.
The Sealab alone cost
251
00:11:24,845 --> 00:11:26,212
two hundred million.
252
00:11:26,213 --> 00:11:28,648
Wh-?! How did
it cost that much?!
253
00:11:28,649 --> 00:11:30,783
Well apparently they
bought a bunch of nerve gas
254
00:11:30,784 --> 00:11:35,388
missiles, and hid that expense in the budget.
Which I never bothered to read.
255
00:11:35,389 --> 00:11:36,722
Or even look at.
256
00:11:36,723 --> 00:11:38,525
Look at this place!
257
00:11:38,526 --> 00:11:42,128
Such a colossal boondoggle! We
don't do any research, really,
258
00:11:42,129 --> 00:11:45,865
and building it, I mean, the
environmental impact was just insane!
259
00:11:45,866 --> 00:11:48,000
So... why did
you take a job here?
260
00:11:48,001 --> 00:11:50,903
To save the ocean! And
also my salary is six hundred
261
00:11:50,904 --> 00:11:52,539
thousand dollars a year.
262
00:11:52,540 --> 00:11:53,573
What!?
263
00:11:53,574 --> 00:11:56,076
I know, but don't put that in there.
Let me just read
264
00:11:56,077 --> 00:11:59,579
my list of demands. Ahem.
One, a fifty-year, worldwide
265
00:11:59,580 --> 00:12:03,416
moratorium on all fishing. Two-
I'm sorry, did you mean whaling?
266
00:12:03,417 --> 00:12:05,251
That's number
two, if you'll let me -
267
00:12:05,252 --> 00:12:07,120
Wait, you want
to end all fishing?
268
00:12:07,121 --> 00:12:08,421
For fifty years?!
269
00:12:08,422 --> 00:12:11,157
At least. The
fish have to replenish.
270
00:12:11,158 --> 00:12:14,360
Okay, that's it, I'm calling bullshit.
I want to see the missiles, now.
271
00:12:14,361 --> 00:12:17,763
What, no, you can't, you-
You don't have any missiles!
272
00:12:17,764 --> 00:12:20,500
Yes I do! I've got...
like fifty.
273
00:12:20,501 --> 00:12:21,701
Fifty.
274
00:12:21,702 --> 00:12:22,502
Ten?
275
00:12:22,503 --> 00:12:23,369
That's still a lot.
276
00:12:23,370 --> 00:12:28,674
Shut up. Captain Murphy, how long
have you been down here all alone?
277
00:12:28,675 --> 00:12:31,444
Two years.
278
00:12:31,445 --> 00:12:34,514
Nobody had been paid in months,
the foundation was broke...
279
00:12:34,515 --> 00:12:36,382
Not surprising,
given your salary.
280
00:12:36,383 --> 00:12:40,620
Yeah, paid three years in advance.
He is the world's worst negotiator.
281
00:12:40,621 --> 00:12:43,789
And you're, sorry, but
you've obviously had some kind
282
00:12:43,790 --> 00:12:46,659
of psychotic break, so I think
you should come with us, and -
283
00:12:46,660 --> 00:12:49,028
I'm not going anywhere!
Nor are you!
284
00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:50,096
Lanaaa!
285
00:12:50,097 --> 00:12:51,097
Archerrrr!
286
00:12:51,098 --> 00:12:52,198
Murpheeee!
287
00:12:52,199 --> 00:12:56,102
I -- dammit, I had something
about point-and-shoot, but -
288
00:12:56,103 --> 00:12:59,038
A gun?! Are you insane, don't you
know how much pressure we're under?!
289
00:12:59,039 --> 00:13:02,308
Honestly, and I don't know why
this is, but it never really gets to me.
290
00:13:02,309 --> 00:13:04,944
Wait, I think he
means water pressure!
291
00:13:04,945 --> 00:13:08,581
And air pressure! The tiniest
hole in the hull would be catastrophic!
292
00:13:08,582 --> 00:13:10,983
The hole!
Is gonna be in you!
293
00:13:10,984 --> 00:13:11,784
Archer, no! Don't shoot.
294
00:13:11,785 --> 00:13:13,886
Okay okay,
look, it's gone!
295
00:13:13,887 --> 00:13:15,688
Now please, put the gun away!
296
00:13:15,689 --> 00:13:18,858
No, I will put on the safety!
Which should be...
297
00:13:18,859 --> 00:13:21,961
dammit, I wish Krieger
wouldn't do these idiot mods.
298
00:13:22,663 --> 00:13:28,067
Duhduhduhduhduhduhduhduh bow dow dow dowwwwwwww!
Dow dow dadowwwwwwwww!
299
00:13:28,068 --> 00:13:30,470
Wait, yeah, that
clearly says "safe," and even
300
00:13:30,471 --> 00:13:32,838
Krieger's not that crazy...
301
00:13:32,839 --> 00:13:36,442
Okay, now slowly
kick the knife over to-
302
00:13:36,443 --> 00:13:36,942
Dammit!
303
00:13:36,943 --> 00:13:38,511
Oh my God...!
304
00:13:38,512 --> 00:13:42,048
Okay, okay, okay, uh,
okay, one of two things is
305
00:13:42,049 --> 00:13:44,116
going to happen now...
306
00:13:44,117 --> 00:13:45,251
Oh! Okay! Oohhh!
307
00:13:45,852 --> 00:13:47,019
Aahhhh!
308
00:13:47,020 --> 00:13:51,857
Okay, now one of one thing
is going to hap-
309
00:13:51,858 --> 00:13:52,425
OHHHH..
310
00:13:54,027 --> 00:13:58,264
- Uh? Well now there's no signal at all...
- Wow, oh my God, I'm
311
00:13:58,265 --> 00:14:00,933
having the weirdest
déjà vu right now.
312
00:14:00,934 --> 00:14:01,734
Ya know...
313
00:14:01,735 --> 00:14:02,768
Here, lemme jailbreak
314
00:14:02,769 --> 00:14:04,070
your phone, it's a totally
315
00:14:04,071 --> 00:14:05,638
reversible process.
316
00:14:05,639 --> 00:14:07,340
Oh, bricked it!
317
00:14:10,647 --> 00:14:12,882
OOOOHHHHHH!!!!
318
00:14:12,883 --> 00:14:13,984
Hatch!
319
00:14:13,985 --> 00:14:15,818
Emergency hatch!
320
00:14:18,522 --> 00:14:21,057
We don't wanna
go outside, idiot!
321
00:14:21,058 --> 00:14:22,392
It's the next pod!
322
00:14:22,393 --> 00:14:24,294
Oh, duh.
323
00:14:24,295 --> 00:14:26,729
I'll hold it open!
Go, go!
324
00:14:26,730 --> 00:14:27,998
Aaaagh... ungh!
325
00:14:27,999 --> 00:14:29,366
- Aaaagh...
- Aaaagh...
326
00:14:29,367 --> 00:14:32,002
No no no no no -- Assholes.
327
00:14:32,003 --> 00:14:34,871
Wooohooohooohooooooof!
328
00:14:34,872 --> 00:14:36,406
Ow.
329
00:14:36,407 --> 00:14:40,910
Pod One, flooded.
Pod Two, flooding.
330
00:14:40,911 --> 00:14:46,349
So what, now we die in... a break
room I would die to have at ISIS?!
331
00:14:46,350 --> 00:14:47,250
Right?
332
00:14:47,251 --> 00:14:49,352
Maybe not, if he shuts the ha-
Aaaaaaagh!
333
00:14:51,022 --> 00:14:51,988
Ewwww!
334
00:14:51,989 --> 00:14:56,326
- Rrrgh, and I just refilled the cans...
- C'mon you guys,
335
00:14:56,327 --> 00:14:57,260
get it off of him!
336
00:14:57,261 --> 00:15:01,431
- No no, there's no time...
- Plus I think
337
00:15:01,432 --> 00:15:03,933
the weight of it's the only
thing holding in my intestines.
338
00:15:03,934 --> 00:15:04,734
Eww.
339
00:15:04,735 --> 00:15:07,837
Save yourselves. Let
this compartment flood, up to
340
00:15:07,838 --> 00:15:12,275
that next hatch... Then seal
it behind you, and run.
341
00:15:12,276 --> 00:15:15,412
This is pod two, it's about
a hundred yards to the
342
00:15:15,413 --> 00:15:22,218
DSV at pod six, but pods three through
six are still watertigh-
343
00:15:22,219 --> 00:15:26,389
Pod three,
four, five, six. Flooded.
344
00:15:26,390 --> 00:15:27,457
Aaaghhh!
345
00:15:27,458 --> 00:15:31,661
Yeah, that's not ideal.
Okay, there's -wait, why
346
00:15:31,662 --> 00:15:33,596
did a TV crew have a gun?!
347
00:15:33,597 --> 00:15:36,533
We're not a TV
crew, we're from ISIS.
348
00:15:36,534 --> 00:15:39,902
ISIS?! Jesus Christ, no
wonder this all went tits up.
349
00:15:39,903 --> 00:15:40,603
Hey!
350
00:15:40,604 --> 00:15:43,940
Forgive my candor, I
just felt my spleen slip out of
351
00:15:43,941 --> 00:15:48,578
what was my anus. That
locker over there, open it.
352
00:15:48,579 --> 00:15:51,747
Scuba gear!
353
00:15:52,316 --> 00:15:53,015
Dibs on best!
354
00:15:53,016 --> 00:15:55,285
Oooh, y'all I'm not
certified, is that gonna be a problem?
355
00:15:55,286 --> 00:16:00,223
- Well, not the biggest problem...
- There's only three.
356
00:16:00,224 --> 00:16:02,658
- Sooo...
- So one of you is going to drown.
357
00:16:02,659 --> 00:16:04,594
- Yep, got that...
- Temporarily.
358
00:16:04,595 --> 00:16:05,328
What?
359
00:16:05,329 --> 00:16:07,797
Hundred yards to the DSV.
Best case, for a strong
360
00:16:07,798 --> 00:16:10,800
swimmer, two minutes.
361
00:16:10,801 --> 00:16:13,736
The water's ice cold, help delay
the brain damage. Use the
362
00:16:13,737 --> 00:16:17,140
defibrillator on the DSV...
to restart the heart.
363
00:16:17,141 --> 00:16:18,408
Yeah but whose heart?!
364
00:16:18,409 --> 00:16:22,612
Weakest swimmer.
365
00:16:22,613 --> 00:16:24,347
Wh-? Aww, screw you guys!
366
00:16:24,348 --> 00:16:28,585
What, Lana, this isn't -- entirely
about race! Guys, back me up here.
367
00:16:28,586 --> 00:16:32,155
Well I was all-county in the
hundred meter freestyle in tenth grade...
368
00:16:32,156 --> 00:16:34,991
- And I have bionic legs...
- Plus I'm super scared...
369
00:16:34,992 --> 00:16:36,259
Plus you're a woman?
370
00:16:36,260 --> 00:16:38,995
I -- yeah, a
pregnant woman!
371
00:16:38,996 --> 00:16:39,862
What?
372
00:16:39,863 --> 00:16:41,931
That's why I haven't
been drinking, that's why I've
373
00:16:41,932 --> 00:16:45,301
been puking, and that's
why my boobs are so huge!
374
00:16:45,302 --> 00:16:47,036
Well I wouldn't
say "huge," but -
375
00:16:47,037 --> 00:16:48,638
When were you
planning to tell me?!
376
00:16:48,639 --> 00:16:52,475
When I finally figured
out how to tell you it's not yours.
377
00:16:52,476 --> 00:16:53,676
Gnk?
378
00:16:53,677 --> 00:16:59,015
- Awwwkwaaaard...
- Ignore me, sorry, I'm
379
00:16:59,016 --> 00:17:03,719
dying. Crushed, by an off-brand
drink machine. Oh my
380
00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:11,194
- God, just like that old gypsy woman srgbgh...
- Gnnk! Gnnk! Gn -
381
00:17:11,195 --> 00:17:14,864
Get it together! We both know
this isn't your first time as a cuckold!
382
00:17:14,865 --> 00:17:18,901
Or at least now we both know it.
And for real? You're pregnant?
383
00:17:18,902 --> 00:17:21,837
Five weeks, long story, yes, but-
Shut up. Here.
384
00:17:21,838 --> 00:17:24,174
Wh-? But-
Ray's half robot,
385
00:17:24,175 --> 00:17:25,941
Cyril, miraculously, is good at
386
00:17:25,942 --> 00:17:30,046
something, and... Lana, you're gonna be a mom!
Just promise me
387
00:17:30,047 --> 00:17:32,482
you'll be a better
one than mine.
388
00:17:32,483 --> 00:17:34,083
Because I'm worried
something may have gone
389
00:17:34,084 --> 00:17:36,553
- terribly wrong down there...
- Well if it did, we
390
00:17:36,554 --> 00:17:39,455
can't do anything about it, and
if it didn't, all the more
391
00:17:39,456 --> 00:17:44,160
reason to drive this tub to Bermuda
for some duty-free champagne!
392
00:17:44,161 --> 00:17:46,829
Archer, that
shouldn't be that hard.
393
00:17:46,830 --> 00:17:49,832
Ff-ff-ffrasing...
394
00:17:49,833 --> 00:17:53,436
Okay, here it comes! You just gotta
relax and let it go in your mouth!
395
00:17:53,437 --> 00:17:56,439
Ff-ff-
ffrasinglrrgllrg...!
396
00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:57,373
Archer?!
397
00:17:57,374 --> 00:17:58,774
Laggaah?
398
00:17:58,775 --> 00:18:09,452
- Gly gluggve ggglooo...
- I know. Ray, now!
399
00:18:09,453 --> 00:18:10,620
C'mon, hurry!
400
00:18:10,621 --> 00:18:13,789
Move! Scarlet
Letter O'Whora!
401
00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:15,625
Cyril! It was a...!
402
00:18:15,626 --> 00:18:17,627
Donor, you shithead.
403
00:18:17,628 --> 00:18:22,798
C'mon, hang on Archer, two minutes!
Your brain can -- almost spare that!
404
00:18:22,799 --> 00:18:25,335
So hey, this may be a
weird question, but you know
405
00:18:25,336 --> 00:18:26,469
where she's registered?
406
00:18:26,470 --> 00:18:29,138
Wh-?! What do you think?!
407
00:18:29,139 --> 00:18:31,807
Lanaaa!
Would you hurry up?!
408
00:18:31,808 --> 00:18:34,210
Said the guy
apparently too busy counting
409
00:18:34,211 --> 00:18:36,045
his bionic legs to help!
410
00:18:36,046 --> 00:18:39,815
You're gonna sass yourself right
out of a carseat! Now c'mon, hurry!
411
00:18:40,984 --> 00:18:43,119
Cyril! Get
ready on the airlock!
412
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:45,388
- Yeah, yeah...
- Here, go go go go go.
413
00:18:45,389 --> 00:18:46,489
I got him I got him!
414
00:18:46,490 --> 00:18:47,823
Cyril now, blow it!
415
00:18:47,824 --> 00:18:49,459
Blow me,
boom, nailed it.
416
00:18:55,466 --> 00:18:56,165
Clear?!
417
00:18:56,166 --> 00:18:56,799
Clear!
418
00:18:57,768 --> 00:18:58,368
Again!
419
00:18:58,369 --> 00:19:00,836
C'mon,
he's dead let it go!
420
00:19:00,837 --> 00:19:01,504
Clear?!
421
00:19:01,505 --> 00:19:02,171
Clear!
422
00:19:05,743 --> 00:19:06,576
Archer?!
423
00:19:06,577 --> 00:19:07,610
Oh!
424
00:19:07,611 --> 00:19:09,111
Is he...? Are you...?
425
00:19:09,112 --> 00:19:10,747
The man who
cheated death?!
426
00:19:10,748 --> 00:19:11,947
Oh! Thank God.
427
00:19:11,948 --> 00:19:15,418
Oh my God, Archer, I can't -- I
mean, I don't even know how to thank you!
428
00:19:15,419 --> 00:19:16,586
Well, you could name
429
00:19:16,587 --> 00:19:18,120
your kid after -
Noop.
430
00:19:18,121 --> 00:19:21,691
Then just get me topside. I need
to brush Ray's tongue out of my mouth.
431
00:19:21,692 --> 00:19:23,326
I didn't give
you mouth to mouth!
432
00:19:23,327 --> 00:19:29,965
C'mon, admit it, you Frenched me!
You can lie but your boner can't!
433
00:19:29,966 --> 00:19:31,668
Cut it out, Archer!
434
00:19:31,669 --> 00:19:34,170
Yeah, look at ya!
All blushy!
435
00:19:34,171 --> 00:19:39,041
Archer be careful, the defibrillator-
436
00:19:39,042 --> 00:19:42,178
- So. Although Sealab was destroyed...
- It was insured for
437
00:19:42,179 --> 00:19:45,080
three times its value, so
now I'm richer than ever.
438
00:19:45,081 --> 00:19:49,352
And I have forgiven you,
for being such an incorrigible douche.
439
00:19:49,353 --> 00:19:50,586
No one cares, because
440
00:19:50,587 --> 00:19:51,954
most importantly -
441
00:19:51,955 --> 00:19:52,988
I cheated not only
442
00:19:52,989 --> 00:19:56,626
death, but also somehow
irreparable brain damage!
443
00:19:56,627 --> 00:19:59,094
That remains to be seen,
and shut up, because Lana
444
00:19:59,095 --> 00:20:01,798
is going to be a mother!
445
00:20:01,799 --> 00:20:05,034
Three cheers for
little Johnny Bastard!
446
00:20:05,035 --> 00:20:07,036
Hip, hip!...Ahem.
447
00:20:07,037 --> 00:20:08,103
Inappropriate.
448
00:20:08,104 --> 00:20:13,042
The point is -- and seriously,
shut up -- everybody has a happy ending!
449
00:20:13,043 --> 00:20:15,878
Really?! Ol' Ray
gets a happy ending?!
450
00:20:15,879 --> 00:20:17,313
Ray-
Or does Randy
451
00:20:17,314 --> 00:20:18,981
Roughhouse here zap him with a
452
00:20:18,982 --> 00:20:23,404
defibrillator and fry the CPU
that made his bionic legs work?!
453
00:20:23,455 --> 00:20:25,933
Ray, I'm sorry! C'mon,
I was wrong!
454
00:20:26,053 --> 00:20:26,835
Really.
455
00:20:26,955 --> 00:20:31,818
Yeah, without the mustache
you look, like, a billion percent gayer.
456
00:20:32,957 --> 00:20:33,806
Boop.
457
00:20:33,926 --> 00:20:44,234
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com