1
00:00:02,496 --> 00:00:04,758
Hurry,
hurry, sit down, come in!
2
00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:07,089
I have the most fantastic news!
3
00:00:07,091 --> 00:00:08,751
What, did
Bub finally die?
4
00:00:08,871 --> 00:00:10,025
Who's Bub?
5
00:00:10,027 --> 00:00:12,493
My mother, and before
you make some snotty comment,
6
00:00:12,495 --> 00:00:15,658
yes I have a mother, do you
want to hear my news or not?!
7
00:00:15,660 --> 00:00:18,258
Yeah, if you're done
yelling at me for no reason.
8
00:00:18,260 --> 00:00:23,194
Last night, an Air Force B-52
bomber crashed off the coast of Bermuda!
9
00:00:23,196 --> 00:00:26,250
Well it's
about frickin time!
10
00:00:26,488 --> 00:00:29,634
What, we're we not bombing them in
advance of an amphibious invasion?
11
00:00:29,636 --> 00:00:30,934
Why would we invade.
12
00:00:30,936 --> 00:00:32,067
Bermuda.
13
00:00:32,069 --> 00:00:35,468
Ah, Bermuda. I
was thinking Bahamas.
14
00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:36,302
Same question.
15
00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:39,171
Same answer, Why not? It's
how we got the Virgin Islands.
16
00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:42,741
Actually, the United States
bought the Virgin Islands from Denmark.
17
00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:45,043
- Okay, Mr. Peabody...
- Are you finished?
18
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,177
Yes.
19
00:00:46,179 --> 00:00:47,848
Good. Because the B-52 was -
20
00:00:47,968 --> 00:00:50,547
In the middle of
the Bermuda Triangle, is this
21
00:00:50,549 --> 00:00:53,282
about the Bermuda Triangle, because
that's my fourth biggest fear!
22
00:00:53,284 --> 00:00:56,017
It's about
the B-52's payload!
23
00:00:56,019 --> 00:00:57,685
Namely, a Mark-28
24
00:00:57,687 --> 00:00:59,052
hydrogen bomb.
25
00:00:59,054 --> 00:01:00,520
Ohhhh!
26
00:01:00,522 --> 00:01:03,088
Which ISIS...
is going to recover.
27
00:01:03,090 --> 00:01:04,188
What!?
28
00:01:04,190 --> 00:01:08,624
And then give to the U.S.
government in exchange for a huge reward!
29
00:01:08,626 --> 00:01:11,026
So, ransom it back.
30
00:01:11,028 --> 00:01:16,463
No, not ransom it, Cyril, we're-
look, semantics, whatever, this is -
31
00:01:16,465 --> 00:01:17,063
Treason?
32
00:01:17,065 --> 00:01:19,665
A huge
opportunity for ISIS!
33
00:01:19,667 --> 00:01:25,705
- Or the Russians...- The B-52 is
on the ocean floor here, at a depth
34
00:01:25,707 --> 00:01:27,174
of eight thousand feet...
35
00:01:27,176 --> 00:01:28,509
or thirteen hundred
36
00:01:28,511 --> 00:01:29,643
thirty-three fathoms.
37
00:01:29,645 --> 00:01:30,844
How do you know that?
38
00:01:30,846 --> 00:01:31,612
How do you not?
39
00:01:31,614 --> 00:01:34,714
So recovering the bomb
requires a deep submergence
40
00:01:34,716 --> 00:01:39,486
vehicle. The only American DSV is here,
in the Pacific. The Russians have
41
00:01:39,488 --> 00:01:42,989
one in the North Atlantic, so if
they hear about the wreck and start
42
00:01:42,991 --> 00:01:46,860
- steaming toward it-
- They don't actually steam anymore, Mother.
43
00:01:46,862 --> 00:01:50,029
It's a figure of speech,
like "shut your hatch,"
44
00:01:50,031 --> 00:01:54,635
because my point was, the Russians will
beat them to it. So we are going to
45
00:01:54,637 --> 00:01:57,037
beat the Russians.
46
00:01:57,039 --> 00:01:59,273
Give it up, folks!
47
00:01:59,275 --> 00:02:01,007
Mike Eruzione!
48
00:02:01,009 --> 00:02:05,244
LANA; Well - shut up - since
Krieger doesn't have a
49
00:02:05,246 --> 00:02:10,282
- submersible hidden in his lab...
- Or do I?
50
00:02:10,284 --> 00:02:12,317
I don't, actually.
51
00:02:12,319 --> 00:02:15,519
Then how are we supposed to
beat anybody to a hydrogen bomb, under
52
00:02:15,521 --> 00:02:17,987
two-point-two-seven
leagues of water?!
53
00:02:17,989 --> 00:02:21,222
Oh my Jesus
God damn alright already!
54
00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:22,623
Can I
possibly help you?
55
00:02:22,625 --> 00:02:25,191
Please, I know
you were talking loud so
56
00:02:25,193 --> 00:02:27,793
I'd hear you, so whatever, but
we're not speaking so if you
57
00:02:27,795 --> 00:02:32,764
want a deep submergence whatever you can
talk to my stupid gross brother Cecil!
58
00:02:32,766 --> 00:02:35,032
Who, by the way, is
here to see you.
59
00:02:35,034 --> 00:02:36,934
Ms. Archer will see you now.
60
00:02:36,936 --> 00:02:39,168
Thank you, Cheryl, I-
Rrraaaghh!
61
00:02:39,170 --> 00:02:41,837
I hate you!
62
00:02:41,839 --> 00:02:43,773
Hello, I'm Cecil Tunt.
63
00:02:43,775 --> 00:02:46,175
I believe you're in need
of some assistance?
64
00:02:46,877 --> 00:02:50,712
Yeah, RienPoortvliet just called,
he wants you to pose for him.
65
00:02:50,714 --> 00:02:54,081
C'mon, beloved
illustrator of "Gnomes"?
66
00:02:54,083 --> 00:02:56,883
Jesus, read a
coffee table book!
67
00:03:19,188 --> 00:03:29,418
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
68
00:03:31,663 --> 00:03:35,187
Wow, you own an
island, an undersea laboratory,
69
00:03:35,307 --> 00:03:38,074
and this... choppersaurus?
70
00:03:38,076 --> 00:03:40,410
Guess it doesn't suck to
be a billionaire, huh?
71
00:03:40,412 --> 00:03:42,512
Probably not, but
Cheryl and I split our
72
00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:46,150
parents' estate, so technically I'm
only worth five hundred million.
73
00:03:46,152 --> 00:03:48,619
Which also doesn't
suck, obviously.
74
00:03:48,621 --> 00:03:51,155
Unlike you
who totally sucks obviously!
75
00:03:51,157 --> 00:03:52,890
Will you shut up?!
76
00:03:52,892 --> 00:03:57,461
I swear to God, if you get us kicked
off before I get my jumbo scrimps on -
77
00:03:57,463 --> 00:03:59,997
You'll wish you were
Michael Findlay.
78
00:03:59,999 --> 00:04:01,632
A, Cecil won't
kick you off, he wants
79
00:04:01,634 --> 00:04:04,101
everybody here, for no good reason--
He doesn't need one,
80
00:04:04,103 --> 00:04:07,705
he's an American hero. Who's
going to make me rich.
81
00:04:07,707 --> 00:04:09,606
And B, that's
not even real shrimp.
82
00:04:09,608 --> 00:04:11,008
This is all vegan-soy-bullshit.
83
00:04:11,010 --> 00:04:12,042
Pffrrfft! Prrfft! Puh!
84
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:14,077
Because he's
totally vegan, because his
85
00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:17,614
stupid gross girlfriend Tiffy's a
vegan, and a... brother-stealer!
86
00:04:17,616 --> 00:04:20,084
Who can also
totally heeearyoooou...
87
00:04:20,086 --> 00:04:22,119
Which is amazing
because why aren't you dead
88
00:04:22,121 --> 00:04:23,187
from protein deficiency?!
89
00:04:23,189 --> 00:04:25,890
Uh, because I get all
eight essential amino acids
90
00:04:25,892 --> 00:04:30,194
from amaranth and quinoa without
murdering helpless animals?
91
00:04:30,196 --> 00:04:30,928
Oooooh!
92
00:04:30,930 --> 00:04:31,829
kkkuughh!
93
00:04:31,831 --> 00:04:33,298
Hey, Tiff?
94
00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:36,968
Could you, instead of antagonizing
her, maybe go ahead and take off?
95
00:04:36,970 --> 00:04:40,506
Love yoooou.
96
00:04:40,508 --> 00:04:44,043
We'll rendezvous with my research vessel
in a few hours, so in the meantime,
97
00:04:44,045 --> 00:04:47,880
I guess, continue to make such
wildly liberal use of the bar.
98
00:04:47,882 --> 00:04:52,384
Done! You're okay, Cecil. I
don't get why Cheryl hates you so much.
99
00:04:52,386 --> 00:04:52,918
Right?
100
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,021
I mean, you've got
this whole Jacques Cousteau-
101
00:04:55,023 --> 00:04:58,291
- thing going on, that's-
- Just one of many philanthropies. I have so
102
00:04:58,293 --> 00:04:59,826
much on my plate, as it were.
103
00:04:59,828 --> 00:05:03,898
Children Without Plates, speaking of
plates, uh, Doctors Within Borders...
104
00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:04,999
Within borders.
105
00:05:05,001 --> 00:05:06,834
Well, of countries
ravaged by war.
106
00:05:06,836 --> 00:05:09,937
Right, otherwise-
Otherwise there's not really much point.
107
00:05:09,939 --> 00:05:14,842
Then there's Nourish A Child, Shoe
A Child, Bespectacle A Child,
108
00:05:14,844 --> 00:05:18,612
- umm, One Laptop Per Child Soldier...
- Wait, what?
109
00:05:18,614 --> 00:05:22,283
Which, unfortunately, soon became
One Thousand Laptops Per Warlord.
110
00:05:22,285 --> 00:05:24,785
Man, all those charities
have gotta cost, like -
111
00:05:24,787 --> 00:05:26,921
Hey! I should
go help Tiffy.
112
00:05:26,923 --> 00:05:32,293
Since we're flying into the Bermuda Triangle...
where mysteries abound!
113
00:05:32,295 --> 00:05:33,995
What kind of mysteries?
114
00:05:33,997 --> 00:05:37,265
I'm kidding!
115
00:05:37,267 --> 00:05:39,467
Well Cheryl,
you come by it honest.
116
00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:41,369
- Speaking of...
- Aagh! Lana c'mon,
117
00:05:41,371 --> 00:05:43,171
we're about to fly into the
Bermuda Triangle, my nerves
118
00:05:43,173 --> 00:05:44,673
are frayed enough as it is.
119
00:05:44,675 --> 00:05:45,540
Really.
120
00:05:45,542 --> 00:05:47,976
No, Long Island Iced
Tea number three really took
121
00:05:47,978 --> 00:05:48,977
the edge off. Want one?
122
00:05:48,979 --> 00:05:53,848
No, I'm not drinking, but-
Oh my God! I totally saw this coming!
123
00:05:53,850 --> 00:05:54,816
You saw what coming?
124
00:05:54,818 --> 00:05:56,885
Did you not join
the Nation of Islam?
125
00:05:56,887 --> 00:05:57,919
No, Archer, I -
126
00:05:57,921 --> 00:05:58,687
You know they won't
127
00:05:58,689 --> 00:05:59,655
let you keep dating Cyril,
128
00:05:59,657 --> 00:06:00,989
right? Plus no bacon?
129
00:06:00,991 --> 00:06:02,624
You done?
130
00:06:02,626 --> 00:06:05,694
Well for now, but after I take a nap-
You'll wake up just in
131
00:06:05,696 --> 00:06:08,597
time to get shot for treason, because
your mother wants to ransom a hydrogen
132
00:06:08,599 --> 00:06:10,332
bomb back to the United
States government.
133
00:06:10,334 --> 00:06:14,837
It's a reward! And maritime
salvage law is very clear on the subject.
134
00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:16,605
According to Cecil.
135
00:06:16,607 --> 00:06:17,974
And what's he
getting out of this?
136
00:06:17,976 --> 00:06:21,477
I... guess whatever useless
thing philanthropists normally get from
137
00:06:21,479 --> 00:06:23,380
squandering their
money on the poor.
138
00:06:23,382 --> 00:06:27,317
So what, he's conducting a huge
naval operation just for a warm fuzzy?
139
00:06:27,319 --> 00:06:29,319
I -- hey, wait a second!
140
00:06:29,321 --> 00:06:30,220
What?
141
00:06:30,222 --> 00:06:33,023
I think I have
room for a fuzzy navel.
142
00:06:33,025 --> 00:06:36,059
Wow Tiffy,
who taught you how to fly?
143
00:06:36,061 --> 00:06:38,828
Was it that goose you freed,
ruining last year's Christmas
144
00:06:38,830 --> 00:06:42,432
dinner, or --
Rrrgh, Cecil, I swear to Goddess...?
145
00:06:42,434 --> 00:06:46,103
I know, Tiffy, but please, try
to focus on the greater good. In the
146
00:06:46,105 --> 00:06:48,939
words of the immortal Jeremy Bentham-
Good thing I'm
147
00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:52,009
immortal, cause if she says one
more word to me I will slam
148
00:06:52,011 --> 00:06:55,045
this helicopter into
the frickin ocean.
149
00:06:55,047 --> 00:06:58,882
Well, you seem busy.
150
00:06:58,884 --> 00:07:04,120
So say it's worth two billion,
a fair reward on that would be...
151
00:07:04,122 --> 00:07:05,488
um, hello!
152
00:07:05,490 --> 00:07:08,491
Oh, Mr. Tunt! Please,
join me, you're just the person
153
00:07:08,493 --> 00:07:11,528
- I want to talk to...
- And I you. About my
154
00:07:11,530 --> 00:07:14,498
sister. I was curious if
you'd noticed anything...
155
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:16,667
well, curious, about
her behavior.
156
00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:18,602
Ha! Ha! Ha!
157
00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:19,969
Oh, you're serious.
158
00:07:19,971 --> 00:07:21,638
I'm afraid so, yes.
159
00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:23,807
Well how much
time do you have?
160
00:07:23,809 --> 00:07:31,081
- As much as you need...
- Oh my God, I
161
00:07:31,083 --> 00:07:35,451
don't know what to say... I have
figuratively lost my tongue.
162
00:07:35,453 --> 00:07:37,854
With Brent it
was almost literally.
163
00:07:37,856 --> 00:07:39,622
That's why we can't
have scissors.
164
00:07:39,624 --> 00:07:42,925
I had no idea her mental state
had declined to such an extent. I mean,
165
00:07:42,927 --> 00:07:47,063
- the arson's not surprising...
- What have you done?
166
00:07:47,065 --> 00:07:47,897
Ha haha!
167
00:07:47,899 --> 00:07:49,732
Take that, gazebo!
168
00:07:49,734 --> 00:07:52,002
But you're
telling me she had...
169
00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:54,905
Mm! Choke-sex,
that's her kink!
170
00:07:54,907 --> 00:07:58,877
With a KGB cyborg. After she led him
straight to the ISIS safehouse,
171
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:01,680
at 921 East
Seventy-Third Street.
172
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:04,449
Oh my -- wait,
is that classified?
173
00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:07,853
- I won't tell if you won't tell...
- Mmmkay! Well, I
174
00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:11,957
appreciate your candor in this matter, Ms. Archer-
Oh no, it's Ms.
175
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:13,081
Oh.
176
00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:18,086
Ms., yes, thank
you for, um... yes.
177
00:08:27,359 --> 00:08:29,594
Come on, you
call this fully stocked?
178
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:32,330
And no Georgia peaches?
What the--?
179
00:08:32,332 --> 00:08:33,231
What're you doing?
180
00:08:33,233 --> 00:08:35,132
I --
what're you doing?!
181
00:08:35,134 --> 00:08:38,102
Hairy navel. Started
as a fuzzy, but I'm calling
182
00:08:38,104 --> 00:08:42,873
this vacation, so... Okay.
183
00:08:42,875 --> 00:08:45,109
Love our little talks!
184
00:08:45,111 --> 00:08:46,677
Rrowrf. Nom nom nomnomnom.
185
00:08:46,679 --> 00:08:48,379
Hi, it's Pam, right?
186
00:08:48,381 --> 00:08:51,215
Enjoying the cruelty-free
vegan seafood buffet?
187
00:08:51,217 --> 00:08:54,885
Mrmff, it's pretty good, once you
get over how allergic I am to soy.
188
00:08:54,887 --> 00:08:56,454
What?! Oh my
God, don't eat that!
189
00:08:56,456 --> 00:08:58,890
Wh-? Hey! I am
a consenting adult.
190
00:08:58,892 --> 00:09:03,695
Plus I assume you've got an epi-pen
on this big Riptide-lookin' bastard?
191
00:09:03,697 --> 00:09:07,131
I -- yes, in the first
aid kit in the cockpit, but -
192
00:09:07,133 --> 00:09:08,900
Well then shut up.
193
00:09:08,902 --> 00:09:15,173
Shutting up, yes. But before I do, could I...
ask you a few questions?
194
00:09:15,175 --> 00:09:17,841
How is everybody
okay with this?
195
00:09:17,843 --> 00:09:18,675
How are you not?
196
00:09:18,677 --> 00:09:19,376
Lana, you heard Ms.
197
00:09:19,378 --> 00:09:21,378
Archer, it's either us
or the Russians, and -
198
00:09:21,380 --> 00:09:24,214
I did not hear that, actually, but-
But if you found
199
00:09:24,216 --> 00:09:26,984
somebody's wallet, you'd
expect to get a reward, so -
200
00:09:26,986 --> 00:09:28,552
What if they
won't pay a reward?
201
00:09:28,554 --> 00:09:30,120
Then what, she just
keeps the bomb?
202
00:09:30,122 --> 00:09:31,488
C'mon, it's not
gonna come to that.
203
00:09:31,490 --> 00:09:33,624
Ooh, but if it does
we could move to Cecil's island
204
00:09:33,626 --> 00:09:35,058
and be a rogue state!
205
00:09:35,060 --> 00:09:37,661
- Coool...
- Ugh, forget it.
206
00:09:37,663 --> 00:09:42,165
Oh, and also dummies? We're five
hundred miles from the nearest tree.
207
00:09:42,167 --> 00:09:44,835
Hey thanks, Magellan!
208
00:09:44,837 --> 00:09:47,538
Hey wait, why the heck are you
painting my face like this?!
209
00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:49,073
Cause you look fierce.
210
00:09:49,075 --> 00:09:50,074
Rrowr.
211
00:09:50,076 --> 00:09:51,209
Rrowrf.
212
00:09:51,211 --> 00:09:53,077
Well thank you, Pam,
I appreciate your candor,
213
00:09:53,079 --> 00:09:57,215
and -- you really, really should
really stop eating those.
214
00:09:57,217 --> 00:09:58,583
Last one.
215
00:09:58,585 --> 00:10:02,119
Mmrowmf.
216
00:10:02,121 --> 00:10:05,155
Malory, please, is there any way
I can get you to reconsider this?
217
00:10:05,157 --> 00:10:08,925
- Well, if you feel that strongly...
- I so do.
218
00:10:08,927 --> 00:10:12,662
Cecil says marine salvage goes
for ten to twenty percent of the item's
219
00:10:12,664 --> 00:10:16,600
value, but since all I'm asking is a
measly three percent, if you've got
220
00:10:16,602 --> 00:10:19,302
sixty million dollars
lying around...?
221
00:10:19,304 --> 00:10:20,303
Bwexqueeze me?!
222
00:10:20,305 --> 00:10:21,604
I know, right?
223
00:10:21,606 --> 00:10:23,506
It's a steal at twice the price.
224
00:10:23,508 --> 00:10:27,111
Yeah and about that, Cyril
figured out how big our bonuses should be.
225
00:10:27,113 --> 00:10:28,212
Your what?!
226
00:10:28,214 --> 00:10:29,380
I -- Ray made me!
227
00:10:29,382 --> 00:10:31,783
Cyril! C'mon
you're fierce, rrowr!
228
00:10:31,785 --> 00:10:34,319
Rrraarrgh!
229
00:10:34,321 --> 00:10:36,654
No! Don't!
230
00:10:37,557 --> 00:10:39,090
Uh, could I speak
to you for a moment?
231
00:10:39,092 --> 00:10:40,525
"Wildly liberal use,"
232
00:10:40,527 --> 00:10:43,261
Cecil, those were
your exact words!
233
00:10:43,263 --> 00:10:46,698
No, of course, that's totally fine,
but I wanted to talk to you about -
234
00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:49,167
Don't say high-
functioning alcoholism.
235
00:10:49,169 --> 00:10:51,202
I wasn't. Going to.
236
00:10:51,204 --> 00:10:52,269
Well then
what's on your mind?
237
00:10:52,271 --> 00:10:55,873
- Well, it's about my sister...
- Hey whoa! I dunno what
238
00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:59,343
she told you but Carol's a consenting adult, so-
Well that's actually
239
00:10:59,345 --> 00:11:01,711
kind of my point, I wanted
to ask if you'd ever
240
00:11:01,713 --> 00:11:09,052
seen my sister acting strangely, or-
Ha! Oh, you're serious.
241
00:11:13,192 --> 00:11:18,128
Just ignore
it, it's non-diegetic.
242
00:11:18,130 --> 00:11:20,631
Last one,
stinky-pinky-swear.
243
00:11:20,633 --> 00:11:21,865
Mrowf.
244
00:11:21,867 --> 00:11:22,866
Psst! Pam!
245
00:11:22,868 --> 00:11:24,969
Aw crap, already?
246
00:11:24,971 --> 00:11:25,636
Pam!
247
00:11:25,638 --> 00:11:29,673
Look, auditory hallucinations aren't
gonna make you any less delicious.
248
00:11:29,675 --> 00:11:32,109
Hey! I was talking to that!
249
00:11:32,111 --> 00:11:33,377
Shhh! Shut up!
I need your help!
250
00:11:33,379 --> 00:11:34,612
And that's how you ask?
251
00:11:34,614 --> 00:11:36,280
Cecil's like,
interviewing everybody!
252
00:11:36,282 --> 00:11:38,849
Yeah, he -- is he?
Doing that?
253
00:11:38,851 --> 00:11:40,151
Yes! And I
think he's taping it!
254
00:11:40,153 --> 00:11:41,986
Look, there's
cameras everywhere!
255
00:11:41,988 --> 00:11:43,187
Huh.
256
00:11:43,189 --> 00:11:44,755
I think he's
taping them saying I'm crazy
257
00:11:44,757 --> 00:11:47,825
so he can show it to a judge and
get a conservatorship over me!
258
00:11:47,827 --> 00:11:49,493
Huh.
259
00:11:49,495 --> 00:11:50,860
"Huh" what?!
260
00:11:50,862 --> 00:11:54,864
I mean... ya think that's
the worst idea anybody ever had?
261
00:11:54,866 --> 00:11:56,366
Oh. My God.
262
00:11:56,368 --> 00:11:58,635
I know, it's hard to hear, but-
263
00:11:58,637 --> 00:11:59,369
Owww!
264
00:11:59,371 --> 00:12:00,537
I thought
you were my friend!
265
00:12:00,539 --> 00:12:04,742
Yeah and for like six months you
also thought you were a werewolf!
266
00:12:04,744 --> 00:12:08,045
Aw crap, I can't feel my face.
267
00:12:08,047 --> 00:12:13,452
Last one, swear to God.
268
00:12:13,454 --> 00:12:17,957
Swear to God, every full moon
she'd make us lock her in the ISIS vault.
269
00:12:17,959 --> 00:12:19,491
Oh my God, how
are you laughing?
270
00:12:19,493 --> 00:12:22,027
That's not funny, it's tragic!
271
00:12:22,029 --> 00:12:26,665
I -- no yeah, but you
know, plus time, it equals -
272
00:12:26,667 --> 00:12:28,601
Thank you, I've
heard quite enough.
273
00:12:28,603 --> 00:12:32,838
Now if you'll please excuse me, I-
Cecil? My darling whom I love?
274
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,107
And also strangers
whom I don't even like?
275
00:12:35,109 --> 00:12:37,109
Our ETA is fifteen minutes.
276
00:12:37,111 --> 00:12:42,181
And the seas are really choppy, so
we may be in for a rough landing.
277
00:12:42,183 --> 00:12:45,051
Thank you love yoooooou.
278
00:12:45,053 --> 00:12:48,521
So you may want to
switch to coffee.
279
00:12:48,523 --> 00:12:51,158
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ahhh.
280
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:54,093
Oh, you're still serious.
281
00:12:54,095 --> 00:12:57,530
Or am I?
282
00:12:57,532 --> 00:12:59,566
I am, actually.
283
00:12:59,568 --> 00:13:01,768
Have you people
lost your minds?!
284
00:13:01,770 --> 00:13:04,671
- 'cause apparently it's going around...
- Because - shut up - if
285
00:13:04,673 --> 00:13:09,676
we recover the bomb, I will decide if
any of you receives a tiny bonus, so -
286
00:13:09,678 --> 00:13:10,778
If?! If?!
287
00:13:10,780 --> 00:13:12,312
Guys, shut up,
I got this, shut up.
288
00:13:12,314 --> 00:13:13,614
What do you mean, if?!
289
00:13:13,616 --> 00:13:15,016
Also, what are we talking about?
290
00:13:15,018 --> 00:13:19,854
Nothing. There's nothing to talk
about, because I am -- Jesus Christ!
291
00:13:19,856 --> 00:13:22,190
Okay, it's either
the altitude or a stroke.
292
00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:25,294
Mother, it's Sterling!
Do you smell toast?
293
00:13:25,296 --> 00:13:26,095
Pam?!
294
00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:30,700
Grrrgh, grrrgh!
295
00:13:30,702 --> 00:13:33,336
What the-
-- hell are you doing?!
296
00:13:33,338 --> 00:13:35,572
The cockpit is off
limits, missy!
297
00:13:35,574 --> 00:13:38,742
Oh yeah?!
Well so's my inheritance!
298
00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:42,612
Goddammit, shut
up John Williams!
299
00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:45,148
Oh my God you
really are crazy!
300
00:13:45,150 --> 00:13:47,116
Would a crazy person do this?!
301
00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:48,518
Ungh!
302
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:51,887
Yes!
303
00:13:51,889 --> 00:13:53,522
What the
hell's going on?!
304
00:13:53,524 --> 00:13:55,458
It's Cheryl!
She's in the cockpit!
305
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,994
I think she's trying
to kill us all!
306
00:13:57,996 --> 00:13:59,095
ARCHER Oh good.
307
00:13:59,097 --> 00:14:02,650
For a second there I
thought I drank too much.
308
00:14:11,239 --> 00:14:14,107
Cheryl!
Cheryl, open the door!
309
00:14:14,109 --> 00:14:17,811
Rrrr! Rrrk! Why the
hell's there a lock on it?!
310
00:14:17,813 --> 00:14:20,113
Well obviously to
prevent this exact scenario
311
00:14:20,115 --> 00:14:22,983
from ever happening, but-
Now?! Really?! You think this is a
312
00:14:22,985 --> 00:14:23,984
good time to be facetious?!
313
00:14:23,986 --> 00:14:26,318
I'm -- fairly certain you're
not using "facetious" correctlrrmp.
314
00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:29,649
Cheryl? Can you come out here so
we can talk about this like adults?
315
00:14:29,651 --> 00:14:32,018
Who aren't gonna die
in a helicopter crash?
316
00:14:32,020 --> 00:14:34,688
We'll crash with the tapes!
Of all of you stupid
317
00:14:34,690 --> 00:14:37,424
jerks saying I'm crazy!
318
00:14:37,426 --> 00:14:38,125
The what?
319
00:14:38,761 --> 00:14:40,794
The tapes!
It's part of his sneaky
320
00:14:40,796 --> 00:14:45,399
plan to get a conservatorship over
me so he can steal my inheritance!
321
00:14:45,401 --> 00:14:47,434
That's why she
hijacked his helicopter?
322
00:14:47,436 --> 00:14:49,903
Man, talk about rich
people problems.
323
00:14:49,905 --> 00:14:52,607
- Grrrgh...
- What're you -- Archer, Pam is dying!
324
00:14:52,609 --> 00:14:54,576
Cyril shut up!
I'm in charge here!
325
00:14:54,578 --> 00:14:57,345
And...okay, here's
what we're doing!
326
00:14:58,515 --> 00:15:01,250
Emergency tracheotomy!
327
00:15:01,252 --> 00:15:02,485
Grrrk?!
328
00:15:02,487 --> 00:15:03,319
With a crazy straw?!
329
00:15:03,321 --> 00:15:06,322
It's fine, it's pretty
sterile, that Hairy Navel
330
00:15:06,324 --> 00:15:07,991
was mostly Kentucky Moon.
331
00:15:07,993 --> 00:15:08,691
Grrrgh!
332
00:15:08,693 --> 00:15:10,560
That's not how
you make a Hairy Navel!
333
00:15:10,562 --> 00:15:13,997
I know, it's a new drink, help
me think of a name, so far all I've
334
00:15:13,999 --> 00:15:15,999
got is Horatio Cornblower.
335
00:15:16,001 --> 00:15:18,935
Which... Okay, Pam!
Here's what's happening!
336
00:15:18,937 --> 00:15:20,336
I'm gonna make a
small incision in
337
00:15:20,338 --> 00:15:22,638
- your trachea with this...
- Grrrrk?!
338
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:23,973
Archer!
339
00:15:23,975 --> 00:15:27,043
- Yeah right, that's not sterile...
- Ugh! And since when do
340
00:15:27,045 --> 00:15:28,611
you carry a switchblade?!
341
00:15:28,613 --> 00:15:31,981
It's a long
story, Mother!
342
00:15:31,983 --> 00:15:33,482
Neat.
343
00:15:33,484 --> 00:15:36,518
Well, not so much long as
just not very interesting.
344
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:40,321
Okay, Pam, you with me? Then, I'm
gonna stick this in the incision,
345
00:15:40,323 --> 00:15:41,322
and you should be good to go.
346
00:15:41,324 --> 00:15:42,023
Ready?
347
00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:43,291
Nnghnnnngh!
348
00:15:43,293 --> 00:15:45,593
I -- no, don't--
Pam, stop it!
349
00:15:47,597 --> 00:15:48,462
Nnghnnnngh!
350
00:15:48,464 --> 00:15:51,298
Okay, sorry in
advance for this...
351
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:51,932
Ungh!
352
00:15:51,934 --> 00:15:53,367
Unnngh!
353
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:54,101
Frstrrrdkerrrrrt!
354
00:15:54,103 --> 00:15:56,604
Erperperrrrrn!
355
00:15:56,606 --> 00:15:59,207
Oh my God, the first aid kit!
I think it might have an epi-pen!
356
00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:00,274
Rrrrhrrrr!
357
00:16:00,276 --> 00:16:02,543
Ow, jeez, and
hopefully a cold pack...
358
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,545
Go get the
damn first aid kit!
359
00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:06,914
I am! But not
because you said so!
360
00:16:06,916 --> 00:16:09,549
Just breathe
Pam, it's on the way!
361
00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:12,453
So, you think Cecil's really trying
to steal Cheryl's inheritance?
362
00:16:12,455 --> 00:16:13,654
Who cares?!
363
00:16:13,656 --> 00:16:14,922
Well you should.
364
00:16:14,924 --> 00:16:15,756
Because...?
365
00:16:15,758 --> 00:16:18,226
Because you've been
trying to get your bony manhooks
366
00:16:18,228 --> 00:16:20,995
on her money for years, and
how the hell're you gonna
367
00:16:20,997 --> 00:16:22,496
do that if Cecil gets it?!
368
00:16:22,498 --> 00:16:25,032
Tapes! We have to find
and destroy the tapes there
369
00:16:25,034 --> 00:16:27,268
must be some sort of recording
device somewhere and
370
00:16:27,270 --> 00:16:29,670
why are you still
standing there go!
371
00:16:29,672 --> 00:16:30,604
What about Pam?!
372
00:16:30,606 --> 00:16:31,538
I'll buy you a new one!
373
00:16:31,540 --> 00:16:32,740
Oww!
374
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:33,941
Grrgh, grrgh!
375
00:16:33,943 --> 00:16:38,612
Oh, quit milking it.
376
00:16:38,614 --> 00:16:40,680
Hey hey hey,
whoa, Lana stop!
377
00:16:40,682 --> 00:16:41,281
What?!
378
00:16:41,283 --> 00:16:44,684
If you damage that, it might
not work in the event of an emergency.
379
00:16:44,686 --> 00:16:45,985
And what would
you call this?!
380
00:16:45,987 --> 00:16:46,919
Oh right.
381
00:16:46,921 --> 00:16:49,488
Speaking of, Pam's dying
of anaphylactic shock.
382
00:16:49,490 --> 00:16:50,623
You got a first aid kit?
383
00:16:50,625 --> 00:16:52,358
I -- it's in the cockpit!
384
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,025
Which is locked,
and -- no nonono!
385
00:16:54,027 --> 00:16:55,627
BLAM
BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM!
386
00:16:55,629 --> 00:16:56,428
Gagh!
387
00:16:56,430 --> 00:16:58,496
And also
apparently bulletproof.
388
00:16:58,498 --> 00:16:59,597
Well yeah, you'd want
389
00:16:59,599 --> 00:17:01,966
it to be, to prevent-
You shot me!
390
00:17:01,968 --> 00:17:03,367
You idiot!
391
00:17:03,369 --> 00:17:06,136
Hey! First of all,
if I shot you you'd know it!
392
00:17:06,138 --> 00:17:08,639
And secondly, now
who's the idiot?
393
00:17:08,641 --> 00:17:10,407
Wh-? You! All of you!
394
00:17:10,409 --> 00:17:11,242
You're here because I wanted
395
00:17:11,244 --> 00:17:12,710
you here, so I could -
396
00:17:12,712 --> 00:17:13,511
Help us get the
397
00:17:13,513 --> 00:17:14,646
hydrogen bomb, yeah.
398
00:17:14,648 --> 00:17:18,383
Oh my God!
There is no bomb!
399
00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:19,517
What?!
400
00:17:19,519 --> 00:17:22,621
Well, guess I
had that coming...
401
00:17:22,623 --> 00:17:24,456
Grrgh!
402
00:17:24,458 --> 00:17:25,691
Well you don't
have to rub it in!
403
00:17:25,693 --> 00:17:30,296
I just wanted to get you people
on tape saying Cheryl was crazy, so I
404
00:17:30,298 --> 00:17:34,300
could get control of her inheritance
to fund my numerous philanthropies!
405
00:17:35,303 --> 00:17:38,204
A-ha! Hang on.
406
00:17:38,206 --> 00:17:43,409
Now shut up! And land...
This... shitheap!
407
00:17:43,411 --> 00:17:46,779
Ahem. Now, I believe there was some
mention of anaphylactic shock?
408
00:17:46,781 --> 00:17:47,580
Thank you!
409
00:17:47,582 --> 00:17:49,381
She's my patient, Lana!
410
00:17:49,383 --> 00:17:52,651
Wait, so if all you wanted was to
get us on tape saying she's crazy...
411
00:17:52,653 --> 00:17:54,452
Which I'm
totally not, by the wrrmp.
412
00:17:54,454 --> 00:17:56,621
You could've done
that in a lawyer's office.
413
00:17:56,623 --> 00:17:59,491
Why drag us all the way out to the
middle of the frickin ocean?!
414
00:17:59,493 --> 00:18:02,594
Well... promise
you won't get mad?
415
00:18:02,596 --> 00:18:04,329
Uh, no?
416
00:18:04,331 --> 00:18:06,264
You ssshole!
417
00:18:06,266 --> 00:18:07,666
Stupid! Drunk ass!
418
00:18:07,668 --> 00:18:11,002
Switchblade
tracheotomygivin dicknuts!
419
00:18:11,004 --> 00:18:11,602
Ow!
420
00:18:11,604 --> 00:18:13,671
Rrrgh!
421
00:18:13,673 --> 00:18:15,839
Sorry, thanks, I
feel a lot better.
422
00:18:15,841 --> 00:18:19,276
Yeah that's why I jammed it
in your neck, I figured if -- oww!
423
00:18:19,278 --> 00:18:20,610
What the
hell was that for?!
424
00:18:20,612 --> 00:18:22,612
Horatio Cornblower?!
425
00:18:22,614 --> 00:18:23,646
I know, right?
426
00:18:23,648 --> 00:18:25,248
You got anything?
427
00:18:25,250 --> 00:18:26,215
Dicknuts.
428
00:18:26,217 --> 00:18:27,516
Okay, we got the tapes!
429
00:18:27,518 --> 00:18:28,517
Big whoop.
430
00:18:28,519 --> 00:18:31,654
I -- wait, I thought you
wanted -what just happened?
431
00:18:31,656 --> 00:18:33,522
It was a hoax!
There is no bomb!
432
00:18:33,524 --> 00:18:35,691
Boom! Guess
you had that comin'
433
00:18:35,693 --> 00:18:37,960
Oh, put another
man's penis in it.
434
00:18:37,962 --> 00:18:42,265
Attention unwelcome passengers...
We are now landing, so please
435
00:18:42,267 --> 00:18:44,701
find your seats and
fasten your seat belts.
436
00:18:44,703 --> 00:18:50,740
Or not, because frankly, I could give
a shit if all you people live or die.
437
00:18:50,742 --> 00:18:53,442
The odds on which I'd put at about...
whatcha think,
438
00:18:53,444 --> 00:18:54,877
Cecil? Fifty-to-one?
439
00:18:54,879 --> 00:18:56,412
Lana? What's going on?
440
00:18:56,414 --> 00:18:57,446
Somebody shot him.
441
00:18:57,448 --> 00:19:00,048
Will you...?
Lana, what's going on?
442
00:19:00,050 --> 00:19:01,683
Why don't you ask Cecil?
443
00:19:01,685 --> 00:19:04,085
Ow! God, your
hands are like --ow!
444
00:19:04,087 --> 00:19:08,355
Well as you may know, one of my many
philanthropic endeavors is an undersea
445
00:19:08,357 --> 00:19:11,458
research laboratory, which, as
luck would have it, is actually
446
00:19:11,460 --> 00:19:12,700
beneath us right now.
447
00:19:12,820 --> 00:19:14,294
Cut. To the chase.
448
00:19:14,296 --> 00:19:18,683
Ow! Anyhoo, the lead scientist is
threatening -- well, he can tell you.
449
00:19:18,803 --> 00:19:22,235
Ahem. Captain Murphy?
450
00:19:24,472 --> 00:19:26,169
Please tell
me you guys heard that.
451
00:19:26,289 --> 00:19:28,256
Ahhhh. Mister Tunt.
452
00:19:28,258 --> 00:19:30,392
Don't worry,
he can't see us.
453
00:19:30,394 --> 00:19:33,562
- No, but I can hear you...
- Although he can hear us.
454
00:19:33,564 --> 00:19:37,802
Yes I can, and please hear me.
For years, decades,
455
00:19:37,922 --> 00:19:41,704
I have begged the so-called leaders of
the world to stop poisoning our oceans.
456
00:19:41,706 --> 00:19:43,907
But they have ignored my pleas.
457
00:19:43,909 --> 00:19:46,331
As I will ignore theirs, Mr. Tunt.
458
00:19:46,451 --> 00:19:49,856
Unless my
list of demands is met in the next...
459
00:19:49,976 --> 00:19:53,806
Tsk tsk, twelve hours. At which
point, I will launch our
460
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:56,684
missiles on Washington,
Miami, and New York.
461
00:19:56,977 --> 00:19:59,544
Hope everybody has a gas mask.
462
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,380
Why do they
have missiles?!
463
00:20:03,382 --> 00:20:05,516
And what did he
mean by "gas mask"?!
464
00:20:05,518 --> 00:20:08,719
I, you know, that was,
I think, maybe, probably,
465
00:20:08,721 --> 00:20:13,558
because the missiles are definitely
tipped with VX nerve gas?
466
00:20:14,594 --> 00:20:15,660
Oh my God!
467
00:20:15,662 --> 00:20:16,561
What?
468
00:20:16,563 --> 00:20:20,498
The -- it's-- the -- dammit!
469
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:23,869
Still can't beat
Horatio Cornblower.
470
00:20:23,871 --> 00:20:25,270
Dicknuts!
471
00:20:25,272 --> 00:20:27,506
Hrmmmff.
472
00:20:27,573 --> 00:20:35,046
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com