1
00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:05,958
- Allaaaaaaaahu akbaaaaaaaaaar...
- Noooo...
2
00:00:05,959 --> 00:00:10,463
Ugh, no wonder Morocco Mole was
so inept, he never got any damn sleep.
3
00:00:11,765 --> 00:00:14,153
Unlike some people!
4
00:00:14,273 --> 00:00:16,007
Wuzzat?! Oh. G'morning.
5
00:00:16,008 --> 00:00:17,575
Don't "g'morning" me!
6
00:00:17,576 --> 00:00:18,810
What's your problem?
7
00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:21,078
Besides that
frickin air raid siren?
8
00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:23,915
It's the muezzin
chanting the adhan, Lana. God,
9
00:00:23,916 --> 00:00:25,316
be open to other cultures.
10
00:00:25,317 --> 00:00:28,586
I am! What I'm not open
to is not sleeping on the
11
00:00:28,587 --> 00:00:31,589
floor, listening to your drunk
ass fart and snore all night in
12
00:00:31,590 --> 00:00:35,026
the only bed, which I'm sure
is why you wanted this room!
13
00:00:35,027 --> 00:00:37,028
If I may rebut,
point by point?
14
00:00:37,029 --> 00:00:37,729
No, you may -
15
00:00:37,730 --> 00:00:40,228
A, pretty sure I offered
to share the bed, B, I
16
00:00:40,232 --> 00:00:42,434
- wasn't that drunk...
- Really.
17
00:00:42,435 --> 00:00:45,503
Lana, this is me we're talking about.
And okay yeah,
18
00:00:45,504 --> 00:00:48,239
maybe I smoked just a teeny bit
too much hashish, but that's
19
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:50,174
only because I didn't
want to be rude.
20
00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:54,045
To who, the creepy old Moroccan dude?
Or those Dutch high school girls?
21
00:00:54,046 --> 00:00:57,582
Both, the latter of
whom were college juniors, and
22
00:00:57,583 --> 00:01:01,986
C, Lana we had to take this room,
Beat history was made here!
23
00:01:01,987 --> 00:01:03,287
Says who, the manager?!
24
00:01:03,288 --> 00:01:05,289
Wh-? Why would he lie?!
25
00:01:05,290 --> 00:01:06,858
You
are American, yes?
26
00:01:06,859 --> 00:01:07,992
Uh, yes?
27
00:01:07,993 --> 00:01:09,861
Then you know
Allen Ginsberg, author of the
28
00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:13,030
poem Howl, "I saw the best
minds of my generation
29
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:17,569
destroyed by madness,
starving hysterical naked..."
30
00:01:17,570 --> 00:01:18,970
Yes.
31
00:01:18,971 --> 00:01:21,205
So for extra one
thousand American, you can
32
00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:22,874
have room where he wrote-
Yes!
33
00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:24,976
Archer, Morocco.
34
00:01:24,977 --> 00:01:28,813
Yeah, hang on. Is this really the
room where Allen Ginsberg wrote Howl?
35
00:01:28,814 --> 00:01:31,148
Why not.
36
00:01:31,149 --> 00:01:35,252
Yeah why not? And just
so we're clear, you're mad at
37
00:01:35,253 --> 00:01:38,756
all that stuff, and not just being
weird because we had sex last night.
38
00:01:38,757 --> 00:01:40,525
Are you -- we
didn't have sex!
39
00:01:40,526 --> 00:01:45,663
Good, because I lied, I was drunk.
Want some? Make ya feel better.
40
00:01:45,664 --> 00:01:48,065
What will make me feel
better, is to get out of shit-
41
00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:50,802
reeking Tangier, which we can
only do after we extract -
42
00:01:50,803 --> 00:01:54,138
agent what's his name, Kazak -
who, why the hell hasn't he
43
00:01:54,139 --> 00:01:56,908
activated his GPS beacon, and
while we're on the subject,
44
00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:58,910
where the hell is our GPS?
45
00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:01,212
Oh. Promise
you won't get mad?
46
00:02:01,213 --> 00:02:02,580
Uh, no?
47
00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:06,784
- Noooo...
- I know, right? It's loud as balls.
48
00:02:06,785 --> 00:02:08,185
When did it
start going off?!
49
00:02:08,186 --> 00:02:12,390
I dunno, like... before the
muezzin, but after the Dutch co-eds left.
50
00:02:12,391 --> 00:02:13,858
You brought
them up to the room?!
51
00:02:13,859 --> 00:02:17,896
Aha, busted! You
did get some sleep!
52
00:02:17,963 --> 00:02:28,046
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
53
00:02:53,348 --> 00:02:57,167
How can you not love this place?
The sights, the sounds, the smells...
54
00:02:57,287 --> 00:03:01,324
No, Archer, just one smell, singular,
which would knock a possum over.
55
00:03:01,325 --> 00:03:05,256
Didelphis virginiana! My second
favorite animal with a prehensile -
56
00:03:05,262 --> 00:03:05,996
Tail.
57
00:03:05,997 --> 00:03:07,897
Thanks, Brett
Somers, yes, a tail.
58
00:03:07,898 --> 00:03:08,965
You have one.
59
00:03:08,966 --> 00:03:12,301
I wish, then I'd be like my first
favorite prehensile-tailed animal -
60
00:03:12,302 --> 00:03:12,902
Archer?
61
00:03:12,903 --> 00:03:15,404
Nightcrawler! AKA-
Archer.
62
00:03:15,405 --> 00:03:16,873
Kurt Wagner, Lana.
63
00:03:16,874 --> 00:03:19,609
Although he can teleport, so
the prehensile tail is -
64
00:03:19,610 --> 00:03:21,344
Goddammit we're
being followed!
65
00:03:21,345 --> 00:03:23,013
When were you
planning to tell me?!
66
00:03:23,014 --> 00:03:24,080
I -- whooaaa!
67
00:03:24,081 --> 00:03:27,917
Look ooouuut!
68
00:03:29,419 --> 00:03:33,322
Oh yeah?! Well -- damn, I had
something in Arabic for this...
69
00:03:33,323 --> 00:03:34,691
Wow, that
accidentally worked.
70
00:03:34,692 --> 00:03:35,892
Accidentally?
71
00:03:35,893 --> 00:03:38,094
Just drive.
There, take that left.
72
00:03:38,095 --> 00:03:39,696
Hang on, I'm
swinging back around.
73
00:03:39,697 --> 00:03:41,665
No you're not, why?
74
00:03:41,666 --> 00:03:43,566
Because look in here and
tell me the Arabic phrase for
75
00:03:43,567 --> 00:03:46,202
"your mother is a whore and
a goatherd is her pimp".
76
00:03:46,203 --> 00:03:47,837
Oh, right, absolutely.
77
00:03:47,838 --> 00:03:50,774
Oh for -- nice,
real mature, Lana!
78
00:03:50,775 --> 00:03:53,910
Look, obviously Morrocan
intelligence isn't as stoked about
79
00:03:53,911 --> 00:03:56,746
Kazak coming over to ISIS as your
mother is so can you please
80
00:03:56,747 --> 00:03:57,947
quit dicking around!
81
00:03:57,948 --> 00:03:59,182
Who's dicking around?!
82
00:03:59,183 --> 00:04:01,785
Me, who's driving this clown
car like Parnelli Frickin
83
00:04:01,786 --> 00:04:04,087
Jones, or you, Lana Litterbug!
84
00:04:04,088 --> 00:04:09,625
Archer, I am seriously not in the
mood for your bullshit right n-owww!
85
00:04:09,626 --> 00:04:13,129
Oh.
Hold on, I'm stopping.
86
00:04:13,130 --> 00:04:14,030
Why.
87
00:04:14,031 --> 00:04:17,433
Because according
to this we're here.
88
00:04:17,434 --> 00:04:19,268
Are you coming?
89
00:04:19,269 --> 00:04:21,971
No, but I'm
breathing fast.
90
00:04:22,907 --> 00:04:28,477
Get it? Lana,
did you get it? Lana?
91
00:04:28,478 --> 00:04:31,480
Or were you just trying not to laugh
because you're cranky for some reason.
92
00:04:31,481 --> 00:04:34,084
I'm cranky because I didn't sleep-
Inaccurate.
93
00:04:34,085 --> 00:04:37,320
-- and now I can't sleep, because
I'm pretty sure I have a concussion!
94
00:04:37,321 --> 00:04:38,221
Wait, seriously?
95
00:04:38,222 --> 00:04:40,389
Yes, Archer, my
head totally kills.
96
00:04:40,390 --> 00:04:42,458
Well that's not good-
Wait, seriously?
97
00:04:42,459 --> 00:04:45,628
-- because Tangier's totally awesome-
Wildly inaccurate.
98
00:04:45,629 --> 00:04:48,998
-- but it's probably not the
best place to receive medical treatment.
99
00:04:48,999 --> 00:04:52,836
So what say we grab this Kazak guy
and get out of this flyblown shithole.
100
00:04:52,837 --> 00:04:54,470
Okay, but you're
missing out on all the great
101
00:04:54,471 --> 00:04:56,472
things Tangier has to offer.
102
00:04:56,473 --> 00:04:57,506
Name one.
103
00:04:57,507 --> 00:05:01,845
Besides cheap hash
and a repulsingly low age of consent.
104
00:05:01,846 --> 00:05:02,578
Rugs?
105
00:05:02,579 --> 00:05:05,815
- Okay... - Shooting me's not gonna
change the unbeatableness
106
00:05:05,816 --> 00:05:07,316
of their rug prices.
107
00:05:07,317 --> 00:05:10,019
It might change my mood-
To remorseful?
108
00:05:10,020 --> 00:05:12,889
-- but I drew because we don't know
what's waiting for us behind this -
109
00:05:12,890 --> 00:05:15,959
- Door. Ya know...
- Grrowwrrrgrrl!
110
00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:16,692
Ungh!
111
00:05:16,693 --> 00:05:17,693
Lana!
112
00:05:17,694 --> 00:05:18,594
Archer?
113
00:05:18,595 --> 00:05:21,164
- Grrrrrrrr...
- How ya dooin, buddy?
114
00:05:21,165 --> 00:05:23,166
I'll be better
when you shoot him.
115
00:05:23,167 --> 00:05:26,669
- I was talking to hiiim, stupid...
- Great, then I'll shoo -
116
00:05:26,670 --> 00:05:27,370
Grrowwoofwoofwoofrowwrr!
117
00:05:27,371 --> 00:05:34,210
- I don't think he likes guuuuns...
- Okay, that's -- stop,
118
00:05:34,211 --> 00:05:37,513
c'mon, cut it -Archer get
the damn dog off my tits!
119
00:05:37,514 --> 00:05:39,783
Here boy! C'mon buddy!
120
00:05:39,784 --> 00:05:43,319
Uh, heel? I don't think
he speaks English.
121
00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:45,188
Well what's
"get off" in Arabic?!
122
00:05:45,189 --> 00:05:48,224
She asked, regretfully, remembering
that just moments earlier she'd
123
00:05:48,225 --> 00:05:50,827
thrown away his
eleven-dollar phrasebook.
124
00:05:50,828 --> 00:05:52,228
Oh for the -- grrrrt off!
125
00:05:52,229 --> 00:05:54,697
Oof! Who's a good boy?
126
00:05:54,698 --> 00:05:56,632
Who's a good boy? Who's a
good boy good boy good boy?
127
00:05:56,633 --> 00:05:58,034
Ugh, I thought
you hated dogs.
128
00:05:58,035 --> 00:05:58,668
I love dogs, Lana.
129
00:05:58,669 --> 00:06:00,703
Except Mother's dog.
Hated that dog.
130
00:06:00,704 --> 00:06:03,306
Because she loved
it more than you?
131
00:06:03,307 --> 00:06:04,808
Ha ha, very funny.
132
00:06:04,809 --> 00:06:13,382
Although, she never forgot the dog's birthday...
133
00:06:13,383 --> 00:06:15,318
Can we please
just do this?
134
00:06:15,319 --> 00:06:16,019
Grrowwoofwoofwoofrowwrr!
135
00:06:16,020 --> 00:06:16,886
Aagh!
136
00:06:16,887 --> 00:06:18,221
What're you--
Lana put it away!
137
00:06:18,222 --> 00:06:19,856
Alright okay
okay alright already!
138
00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:23,092
See? He really doesn't like guns,
Lana, he can't stress that enough.
139
00:06:23,093 --> 00:06:26,062
Well what are we supposed to do
if Kazak doesn't wanna come with us?
140
00:06:26,063 --> 00:06:28,231
Feed him to Cujo here,
he can poop him out when we get
141
00:06:28,232 --> 00:06:31,935
home. Who's a poopy
boy, who's a poopy boy?
142
00:06:31,936 --> 00:06:35,471
Shit-breath slobberin-ass mutt...
- Don't listen to her,
143
00:06:35,472 --> 00:06:40,243
she's-
Wow, but you could use a tic-tac.
144
00:06:40,244 --> 00:06:43,779
Kazak? Hello? Kazak.
145
00:06:43,780 --> 00:06:44,780
Kazak!
146
00:06:44,781 --> 00:06:46,049
Woowoowoowoowoof!
147
00:06:46,050 --> 00:06:47,350
Get away from me,
what're you doing?!
148
00:06:47,351 --> 00:06:48,351
What're you doing?!
149
00:06:48,352 --> 00:06:50,553
Lana, you can't beckon
him and then rebuff him!
150
00:06:50,554 --> 00:06:51,754
Beckon and rebuff whom.
151
00:06:51,755 --> 00:06:52,455
Kazak.
152
00:06:52,456 --> 00:06:53,456
Woof?
153
00:06:53,457 --> 00:06:56,625
Noooo, he's not--
he cannot be Kazak.
154
00:06:56,626 --> 00:06:59,395
He can according
to his nametag.
155
00:06:59,396 --> 00:07:02,232
Son of a... bitch!
156
00:07:02,233 --> 00:07:03,933
Woowoowoowoowoof!
157
00:07:03,934 --> 00:07:08,271
Well, technically she's right.
Who's a sonuvabitch? Are you a
158
00:07:08,272 --> 00:07:09,805
sonuvabitch?
159
00:07:09,806 --> 00:07:10,773
Woof!
160
00:07:10,774 --> 00:07:13,709
Lana, look! He
thinks he's people!
161
00:07:16,974 --> 00:07:21,011
Nooo, no, no, no no, nooo.
162
00:07:21,012 --> 00:07:25,782
I did not sign on to be a dogsitter
for -- who's frickin dog is this?!
163
00:07:25,783 --> 00:07:30,320
Who gives a shit, Lana, he's
like the Pélé of, lemme finish, fetch!
164
00:07:30,321 --> 00:07:30,954
Woof!
165
00:07:30,955 --> 00:07:33,056
Well I will if you bring it here!
I can't throw it
166
00:07:33,057 --> 00:07:34,457
if it's in your mouth!
167
00:07:34,458 --> 00:07:35,491
Woowoowoof!
168
00:07:35,492 --> 00:07:37,294
Why didn't
you become a vet?
169
00:07:37,295 --> 00:07:38,829
Honestly?
Didn't have the grades.
170
00:07:38,830 --> 00:07:40,197
No shit.
171
00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:42,299
Why would I lie about that?
And who're you calling?
172
00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:43,666
Who do you think.
173
00:07:43,667 --> 00:07:47,437
Ask her if
we can keep him.
174
00:07:47,438 --> 00:07:48,371
Ms.
175
00:07:48,372 --> 00:07:50,140
Archer, Lana for you, line one.
176
00:07:50,141 --> 00:07:51,341
I'm not here.
177
00:07:51,342 --> 00:07:55,009
Ooohhhh!
Then... how...?
178
00:07:55,012 --> 00:07:58,611
Oh for the love,
obviously I am here--
179
00:07:58,615 --> 00:07:59,449
Whew...
180
00:07:59,450 --> 00:08:01,384
-- I just don't
wish to speak to her!
181
00:08:01,385 --> 00:08:05,055
- But you are here...
- Aht! If you walk over
182
00:08:05,056 --> 00:08:07,891
here and touch me, you'll spend
your lunch hour being fitted
183
00:08:07,892 --> 00:08:09,559
for a prosthetic hand.
184
00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:13,029
I only get forty-five minutes.
But I'll tell her
185
00:08:13,030 --> 00:08:16,333
you're not here. But
you are, right?
186
00:08:16,334 --> 00:08:17,133
Out!
187
00:08:17,134 --> 00:08:18,235
Ahh!
188
00:08:18,236 --> 00:08:20,803
I assume Lana's mad
because Sterling's pushing her
189
00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:23,039
buttons. What a surprise.
190
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:27,043
- Speaking of... - You finally saved
enough money for a sex change.
191
00:08:27,044 --> 00:08:31,647
- No. I'm actually broker than usual...
- Nine...!
192
00:08:31,648 --> 00:08:33,083
Ten...! She's out!
193
00:08:34,218 --> 00:08:38,721
- Uht? Pungash bishiz...
- But I'm very comfortable
194
00:08:38,722 --> 00:08:42,893
in my own body, thank you very much, and-
Don't thank me, thank -
195
00:08:42,894 --> 00:08:46,596
And before you say-
May I finish?! Archer
196
00:08:46,597 --> 00:08:49,766
Daniels Midland, now what do
you want, I'm extremely busy.
197
00:08:49,767 --> 00:08:50,833
To be a field agent!
198
00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:52,435
I'm sorry?
199
00:08:52,436 --> 00:08:53,603
You should be!
200
00:08:53,604 --> 00:08:56,406
How was I supposed to know
it was gonna make him do that?!
201
00:08:58,376 --> 00:09:00,010
Stuffing him full
of street kebabs?!
202
00:09:00,011 --> 00:09:04,781
A, it was kufta, and bee-
elzebub's asshole, Kazak!
203
00:09:04,782 --> 00:09:06,182
Bad dog! Bad dog!
204
00:09:09,253 --> 00:09:11,621
Sorry buddy, I didn't mean that, I-
I did! It's bad enough
205
00:09:11,622 --> 00:09:13,924
your mother sends me on this
bullshit mission, but now she
206
00:09:13,925 --> 00:09:15,625
won't even take my call?!
207
00:09:15,626 --> 00:09:18,795
Lana, New York's five hours behind,
maybe she's not in the office yet.
208
00:09:18,796 --> 00:09:20,730
Oh please,
she's totally there!
209
00:09:20,731 --> 00:09:21,932
Wh-?
210
00:09:21,933 --> 00:09:22,565
Out!
211
00:09:22,566 --> 00:09:23,566
Just checking!
212
00:09:23,567 --> 00:09:24,634
God!
213
00:09:24,635 --> 00:09:30,907
- Idiot. As I was saying...
- I'm! Sorry! And I'm sure I -
214
00:09:30,908 --> 00:09:35,578
-- ugh, also speak for Kazak,
who, by the way, is the real victim here.
215
00:09:35,579 --> 00:09:37,880
How is he the victim?!
216
00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:40,783
Lana, his nose is like a jillion
times more sensitive than ours!
217
00:09:41,785 --> 00:09:45,488
- Gotta be killing him...
- Well before I kill him,
218
00:09:45,489 --> 00:09:48,624
and you, just get us to the port.
Hopefully the stupid boat
219
00:09:48,625 --> 00:09:50,060
to Spain has aspirin.
220
00:09:50,061 --> 00:09:50,927
What boat?
221
00:09:50,928 --> 00:09:52,996
What what boat,
the boat boat!
222
00:09:52,997 --> 00:09:54,998
Wow, you might actually
be concussed, because
223
00:09:54,999 --> 00:09:56,433
that was not a real sentence.
224
00:09:56,434 --> 00:09:57,167
Archer?
225
00:09:57,168 --> 00:09:59,569
And the boat's not a
boat, Lana, it's a frickin
226
00:09:59,570 --> 00:10:01,604
hovercraft! Woohoohoohoooo!
227
00:10:01,605 --> 00:10:03,473
Woowoowoowooowoowooowooo!
228
00:10:03,474 --> 00:10:08,311
Woohoo... oh. But, boat or not-boat...
We won't be getting on it.
229
00:10:08,312 --> 00:10:10,280
A... roadblock?!
230
00:10:10,281 --> 00:10:12,182
So, guess we're driving
through the desert to
231
00:10:12,183 --> 00:10:14,017
the backup extraction point.
232
00:10:14,018 --> 00:10:14,750
Rrowrf.
233
00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:17,687
uhh, uhh.
234
00:10:17,688 --> 00:10:21,091
Sorry. I know you had your
heart set on that hovercraft ride.
235
00:10:21,092 --> 00:10:23,860
But why on earth do you
think you're qualified to
236
00:10:23,861 --> 00:10:25,996
be an ISIS field agent?!
237
00:10:25,997 --> 00:10:27,697
Uh, besides Cyril's one?
238
00:10:27,698 --> 00:10:29,966
- Hey...
- Cyril? Ya wanna fresh one?
239
00:10:29,967 --> 00:10:31,034
I do not, no.
240
00:10:31,035 --> 00:10:35,271
Then shut your fist-hole, and show
Ms. Archer how I did on the IFAAB.
241
00:10:35,272 --> 00:10:40,176
The ISIS Field Agent
Aptitude Battery? You took it?
242
00:10:40,177 --> 00:10:44,180
You aced it?! No, but --
this can't -- you cheated!
243
00:10:44,181 --> 00:10:48,818
How?! Everybody watched me take it!
Under sterile conditions, by the way!
244
00:10:48,819 --> 00:10:53,689
Well...
245
00:10:53,690 --> 00:10:59,362
- What. Punkass bitches...
- Sterile test conditions, anyway.
246
00:10:59,363 --> 00:11:01,231
But I can promise she didn't cheat.
247
00:11:01,232 --> 00:11:03,400
Be that as it -- hm.
248
00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:10,306
Hmm. Hmmmm? This means nothing,
My God, a perfect score on the
249
00:11:10,307 --> 00:11:14,110
IFAAB merely indicates that a person
is a candidate for field agent
250
00:11:14,111 --> 00:11:17,547
status, it can't determine if
they're suited for actual
251
00:11:17,548 --> 00:11:22,352
field work. I mean, what if she
had to subdue an enemy agent?
252
00:11:22,353 --> 00:11:27,090
Cue sad trombone, aaaaaaaaaaaand-Go!
253
00:11:27,091 --> 00:11:29,859
Aaaaaagh!
254
00:11:29,860 --> 00:11:37,534
Pam! What the
hell did you -- waagh!
255
00:11:37,535 --> 00:11:41,671
- My God... - And it goes on like that,
for another thirty-eight
256
00:11:41,672 --> 00:11:43,406
soul-cleaving minutes.
257
00:11:43,407 --> 00:11:45,108
Of which you
were there for two.
258
00:11:45,109 --> 00:11:49,245
Three! I was scared,
I ran away, sue me. And then
259
00:11:49,246 --> 00:11:51,747
sue me for this! Smoke bomb!
260
00:11:51,748 --> 00:11:54,484
So you aced the test and
beat up a nazi, a nerd, and
261
00:11:54,485 --> 00:11:56,553
queen of the robots-
Heeyyy!
262
00:11:56,554 --> 00:12:00,790
If the saddle oxford and/or
ruby slipper fits! Mister and/or
263
00:12:00,791 --> 00:12:04,461
missy! What makes you think
I need another field agent?
264
00:12:04,462 --> 00:12:05,695
I quit.
265
00:12:05,696 --> 00:12:09,399
Lana believe me, nobody wanted
to ride a hovercraft more than me, but -
266
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,667
Stop the car! I'm serious, I'm-
I'm serious, calm the
267
00:12:11,668 --> 00:12:15,004
hell down! Here, hit this
hashbrown, that creepy old dude
268
00:12:15,005 --> 00:12:18,408
put his lips on it, but-
Archer stop the goddamn car!
269
00:12:18,409 --> 00:12:22,378
Lana put the gun down, he's gonna-
Yipe!
270
00:12:22,379 --> 00:12:26,015
- Stoppin the caaar, buuuddies...
- Sorry about that,
271
00:12:26,016 --> 00:12:28,784
furface. Wouldn't have shot
you for a gazillion bucks.
272
00:12:28,785 --> 00:12:29,419
Rrowr?
273
00:12:29,420 --> 00:12:30,487
You, not so much.
274
00:12:30,488 --> 00:12:34,157
Lana c'mon, we both know you're-
Quitting, Archer, yes, exactly.
275
00:12:34,158 --> 00:12:37,827
Oh. I was gonna
say "not quitting."
276
00:12:37,828 --> 00:12:39,095
Wildlier inaccurate.
277
00:12:39,096 --> 00:12:43,433
"Wildlier" isn't a real word, by the way.
At least not in English.
278
00:12:43,434 --> 00:12:44,767
Rrowr?
279
00:12:44,768 --> 00:12:47,937
I dunno, she threw away my phraseboo-
280
00:12:47,938 --> 00:12:49,472
Almost kind of
wishing she'd shot you.
281
00:12:49,473 --> 00:12:50,440
Roowr.
282
00:12:50,441 --> 00:12:53,743
No, no, no, I'm kidding
Who's my stinky boy, huh?
283
00:12:53,744 --> 00:12:55,778
Who's my...
284
00:12:55,779 --> 00:12:59,182
So hey, I know we kid
around a lot, but I think you
285
00:12:59,183 --> 00:13:00,683
might have dog cancer.
286
00:13:04,439 --> 00:13:08,408
No way, I'm not going back for her.
You're new here,
287
00:13:08,409 --> 00:13:11,545
but Lana cries wolf on quitting
ISIS like twice a week.
288
00:13:11,546 --> 00:13:12,346
Rowr.
289
00:13:12,347 --> 00:13:14,949
She'll be fine.
She's got... oh.
290
00:13:14,950 --> 00:13:19,353
I was gonna say GPS, gun, sat-phone,
and canteen full of lifesaving water.
291
00:13:19,354 --> 00:13:20,321
Rowr.
292
00:13:20,322 --> 00:13:23,023
Well?! She's the one who
stormed off into the desert
293
00:13:23,024 --> 00:13:27,361
with no GPS, no gun, no sat-
phone and no lifesaving water,
294
00:13:27,362 --> 00:13:30,731
and why the hell are you taking her
side, she jammed a gun in your -
295
00:13:30,732 --> 00:13:31,565
Rrowrf.
296
00:13:32,367 --> 00:13:35,702
So, were you whining
about Lana being an idiot or
297
00:13:35,703 --> 00:13:37,471
about you being carsick?
298
00:13:37,472 --> 00:13:41,275
Rrf.
299
00:13:41,276 --> 00:13:43,043
How much frickin
kufta did you eat?!
300
00:13:43,044 --> 00:13:43,844
Ruff!
301
00:13:43,845 --> 00:13:47,248
Well? Whose fault is that?!
Okay, so maybe I egged
302
00:13:47,249 --> 00:13:49,984
you on to eat five orders of it, and...
maybe I push Lana's
303
00:13:49,985 --> 00:13:53,787
buttons on purpose, and just
generally make her life hell...
304
00:13:53,788 --> 00:13:57,657
Which maybe I do, possibly, if
I'm being completely honest,
305
00:13:57,658 --> 00:14:01,996
because I still have some pretty strong-
Ah, God damn, dude. Okay,
306
00:14:01,997 --> 00:14:09,569
we'll go back for her. But
not because you said so!
307
00:14:09,570 --> 00:14:13,941
Because you let him,
you let him push your buttons.
308
00:14:13,942 --> 00:14:19,413
That's why you stormed off with no
GPS, gun, phone, or lifesaving water.
309
00:14:19,414 --> 00:14:23,951
And that's why you died in the desert.
Holy shit I'm
310
00:14:23,952 --> 00:14:28,555
gonna die in the desert. Just
like Cheryl's gypsy woman said!
311
00:14:28,556 --> 00:14:33,394
How. Would I ever.
Die in a dessert.
312
00:14:33,395 --> 00:14:37,097
Well, pretty close. And
you're not gonna die out here,
313
00:14:37,098 --> 00:14:38,532
because any minute now... aha!
314
00:14:38,533 --> 00:14:39,433
Haaa!
315
00:14:39,434 --> 00:14:45,139
Archer's gonna come crawling back to
you, tail between his legs, from - From
316
00:14:45,140 --> 00:14:48,409
the wrong direction. Oh, shit.
317
00:14:48,410 --> 00:14:51,946
Oh, shit.
318
00:14:51,947 --> 00:14:55,316
Wait wait wait, shut up, what?
What are you talking about?!
319
00:14:55,317 --> 00:14:58,986
I dunno, like maybe a
gigantic chocolate mousse, or -
320
00:14:58,987 --> 00:15:00,321
I said desert!
321
00:15:00,322 --> 00:15:02,722
Oh.
Still pretty close.
322
00:15:02,723 --> 00:15:04,724
Will you put
Mother on the damn phone?!
323
00:15:04,725 --> 00:15:06,460
What's the magic woooord?
324
00:15:06,461 --> 00:15:08,429
Oh for the --please!
325
00:15:08,430 --> 00:15:10,230
No,
they changed it.
326
00:15:10,231 --> 00:15:15,970
Cheryl, you
stupid [beeeeeeeeeeeep]
327
00:15:15,971 --> 00:15:18,172
Lucky guess.
328
00:15:18,173 --> 00:15:20,040
Plus I'm a quick learner
plus you've seen me drive I'm
329
00:15:20,041 --> 00:15:22,709
an amazing driver plus I almost
never get sick plus I already
330
00:15:22,710 --> 00:15:25,846
bought three pantsuits plus-
Alright! I'll think about it!
331
00:15:25,847 --> 00:15:27,681
Is that a real you'll
think about it, or a "Pam if
332
00:15:27,682 --> 00:15:30,717
your pig Leon wins a blue ribbon
at the county fair maybe
333
00:15:30,718 --> 00:15:33,354
we won't kill him and eat him
for Easter dinner and render
334
00:15:33,355 --> 00:15:37,124
what's left into soap"
you'll think about it?
335
00:15:37,125 --> 00:15:39,326
It's-
Because I never really got over that.
336
00:15:39,327 --> 00:15:42,296
It's a real one-
Yaaaaaay!
337
00:15:42,297 --> 00:15:45,799
-- but thank you for that glimpse
into your bleak, farmy childhood.
338
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:50,170
It was actually pretty awesome.
And if I'm being honest, so was Leon.
339
00:15:50,171 --> 00:15:51,838
Get out. What.
340
00:15:51,839 --> 00:15:53,371
Mother? Mother
it's Sterling, don't talk just...
341
00:15:53,375 --> 00:15:55,209
Ohhhh no!
342
00:15:55,210 --> 00:15:59,279
Guess I had that coming.
343
00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:02,049
- You must really think I'm an idiot...
- Well, your
344
00:16:02,050 --> 00:16:04,451
words Mother, but my
voicemail doesn't call you.
345
00:16:04,452 --> 00:16:08,622
Oh right. What's going on, did
you get Kazak, are you on the boat yet?
346
00:16:08,623 --> 00:16:11,525
Okay, in order, I'll
get to that, yes, no, and
347
00:16:11,526 --> 00:16:14,428
it's not a boat, it's a-
Hovercraft, whatever,
348
00:16:14,429 --> 00:16:15,295
why aren't you people on it?!
349
00:16:15,296 --> 00:16:18,765
Well for starters, some of us
aren't people! But they think they
350
00:16:18,766 --> 00:16:21,068
are! Yes they do! Yes they do!
351
00:16:21,069 --> 00:16:22,903
Yes they -
Sterling!
352
00:16:22,904 --> 00:16:26,840
Oh, so anyway, Lana quit, and-
She -- what'd you do this time?!
353
00:16:26,841 --> 00:16:28,875
Nothing! She quit
because you made us fly to
354
00:16:28,876 --> 00:16:31,878
Morocco, coach, by the way, and
don't even get me started on
355
00:16:31,879 --> 00:16:36,583
that! For a dog! You know how
insulting that is?! A stupid dog?!
356
00:16:36,584 --> 00:16:38,552
Wh-? Is this about
the carriage ride?!
357
00:16:38,553 --> 00:16:41,555
The -- I mean, I'd be lying
if I said it wasn't a factor! But -
358
00:16:41,556 --> 00:16:43,290
Let me tell you
something about that so-called
359
00:16:43,291 --> 00:16:47,561
- "stupid" dog, mister man...
- Are you -- that's all
360
00:16:47,562 --> 00:16:51,532
we were after?! Well?! You
could've told us, Mother! Oh!
361
00:16:51,533 --> 00:16:55,369
And you could've told me you
just took her to the stupid vet!
362
00:16:55,370 --> 00:16:59,940
Whoooo just had a lovely birthday
carriage ride through Central Paaark?
363
00:16:59,941 --> 00:17:00,574
Woof!
364
00:17:00,575 --> 00:17:05,279
Yes she did!
Yes she did!
365
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:08,248
- Grrrrrrrr...
- Whatever, look, we're
366
00:17:08,249 --> 00:17:10,951
not gonna make it to the backup
extraction point, so get a fix
367
00:17:10,952 --> 00:17:14,020
on my signal and reroute the
chopper to those coordinates!
368
00:17:14,021 --> 00:17:16,856
Okay, rerouting
now, ETA ten minutes.
369
00:17:16,857 --> 00:17:21,462
Whenever, we'll be here...
One way or the other.
370
00:17:21,463 --> 00:17:23,263
So hey, how you
doin on the kufta?
371
00:17:23,264 --> 00:17:24,064
Rrf.
372
00:17:24,065 --> 00:17:28,535
Yeah good, get it all out now.
Because this next part's gonna suck.
373
00:17:30,805 --> 00:17:38,445
Archerrrr!
374
00:17:38,446 --> 00:17:43,283
See?! That's why I said scrooch down!
Lana! Lana scrooch down!
375
00:17:43,284 --> 00:17:48,655
No no no, Archer don't
Are you out of your mind?!
376
00:17:48,656 --> 00:17:49,623
No!
377
00:17:49,624 --> 00:17:54,628
Although I am out of ammo. Okay
buddy, so here's the deal!
378
00:17:54,629 --> 00:17:57,397
A, scrooch down! And B,
normally in this situation I
379
00:17:57,398 --> 00:17:59,899
do a a pit maneuver, but if I
do that the truck will flip,
380
00:17:59,900 --> 00:18:02,702
and if Lana doesn't die, best
case she's a quadriplegic and I
381
00:18:02,703 --> 00:18:05,172
marry her out of guilt but
after a few years of feeding
382
00:18:05,173 --> 00:18:07,907
tubes and colostomy bags I
start to resent her and the
383
00:18:07,908 --> 00:18:10,477
night nurse is like,
Brazilian and twenty?
384
00:18:10,478 --> 00:18:12,179
- Grrrr...
- Don't judge me! I have
385
00:18:12,180 --> 00:18:15,048
needs, man! The point is, and
it might be a kinda shitty
386
00:18:15,049 --> 00:18:18,252
plan, but I'm gonna jump on the
truck, so I need you to take the -
387
00:18:18,253 --> 00:18:18,985
Grrowwrrrgrrl!
388
00:18:18,986 --> 00:18:21,488
-- wheel, exactly, so...
Kazak?
389
00:18:21,489 --> 00:18:23,457
Aaaggghhhh!
390
00:18:23,458 --> 00:18:24,791
Grrowwrrghhh!
391
00:18:24,792 --> 00:18:27,794
Lana, look! He
thinks he's vampires!
392
00:18:27,795 --> 00:18:30,364
Grrowwrrgh!
393
00:18:30,365 --> 00:18:32,466
Lana look ooouuut!
394
00:18:32,467 --> 00:18:35,669
Kazaaaaaaaak!
395
00:18:35,670 --> 00:18:39,339
Ungh,
396
00:18:50,251 --> 00:18:52,586
Nah, guys probably got
nine wives and a jillion
397
00:18:52,587 --> 00:18:56,490
kids and.. holy shit, that's racist
Archer, what is wrong with you?
398
00:18:56,491 --> 00:18:58,292
- Seriously...
- Lana!
399
00:18:58,293 --> 00:19:01,795
Archer, thank-
God is he hit, tell me he's not hit!
400
00:19:01,796 --> 00:19:02,529
He's fine.
401
00:19:02,530 --> 00:19:03,497
Woof!
402
00:19:03,498 --> 00:19:06,187
As am I, not that you
give a shit.
403
00:19:06,307 --> 00:19:09,435
- Shhh. Lana, don't ruin the moment...
- What moment, what're you
404
00:19:09,555 --> 00:19:10,541
-- ahhh.
405
00:19:10,658 --> 00:19:13,158
What're you doing, what is that?
406
00:19:13,208 --> 00:19:15,848
Microfilm. It was on
his collar the whole time,
407
00:19:15,895 --> 00:19:18,729
something about nukes in
Pakistan or -- one of the
408
00:19:18,731 --> 00:19:22,398
akistans, I forget
which one. Owwww!
409
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:28,537
My point is sometimes we do good work.
So promise me you'll never quit again.
410
00:19:28,539 --> 00:19:33,677
Only if you promise you'll
quit being such a colossal asshole.
411
00:19:33,679 --> 00:19:36,013
Mmmm.
412
00:19:36,015 --> 00:19:37,381
I can't.
413
00:19:37,383 --> 00:19:43,855
- Ya know...
- Woowoowoowoowoowoowoof!
414
00:19:43,857 --> 00:19:45,023
What.
415
00:19:50,296 --> 00:20:00,536
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com