1
00:00:01,975 --> 00:00:02,808
Oh for the --
2
00:00:03,376 --> 00:00:05,877
We're already late, what'd
ya go and start that for?
3
00:00:05,945 --> 00:00:07,179
I didn't!
4
00:00:07,247 --> 00:00:09,948
So, it just
spontaneously combusted.
5
00:00:10,016 --> 00:00:13,485
So creepy...
look, I've got goosebumps.
6
00:00:13,553 --> 00:00:14,586
I'm sure you do.
7
00:00:14,654 --> 00:00:16,821
What is --
is something burning?!
8
00:00:16,889 --> 00:00:17,622
No!
9
00:00:17,690 --> 00:00:18,924
Maybe you're having a stroke!
10
00:00:18,991 --> 00:00:20,426
I'm not having a stroke!
11
00:00:20,493 --> 00:00:23,395
That's great, Mother, keep
those periodic updates coming!
12
00:00:23,463 --> 00:00:24,263
Oh shut up.
13
00:00:24,330 --> 00:00:26,065
Hey, Friday happy
hour, you guys in?
14
00:00:26,132 --> 00:00:26,665
Gimme that.
15
00:00:26,732 --> 00:00:29,935
No no no no no that's not --
16
00:00:30,002 --> 00:00:30,669
-- water.
17
00:00:30,736 --> 00:00:32,003
Well what the hell was it?!
18
00:00:32,072 --> 00:00:33,038
Grappa.
19
00:00:33,106 --> 00:00:35,874
- Aww...
- No shit, that was like twenty bucks' worth.
20
00:00:35,942 --> 00:00:37,276
Who drinks a
pint of grappa?!
21
00:00:37,343 --> 00:00:39,678
Well nobody
now, Wendy Wasteful.
22
00:00:39,745 --> 00:00:41,480
So you can buy my first
couple of rounds.
23
00:00:41,548 --> 00:00:43,715
- Nah, I can't, we --
- No, you can.
24
00:00:43,783 --> 00:00:44,983
I'm allowing you.
25
00:00:45,051 --> 00:00:48,287
- Oh my God, thank you
- You're welcome.
26
00:00:48,354 --> 00:00:49,588
but we've got dates.
27
00:00:49,655 --> 00:00:51,523
Meaning the
fruit of the date palm?
28
00:00:51,591 --> 00:00:52,591
Muh-huh.
29
00:00:52,658 --> 00:00:54,560
Date dates, dingdong.
30
00:00:54,627 --> 00:00:55,294
With who?
31
00:00:55,361 --> 00:00:58,197
Oh, just some
handsome firemen I met.
32
00:00:58,264 --> 00:00:59,264
At a warehouse fire.
33
00:00:59,332 --> 00:01:01,200
So c'mon, let's go already!
34
00:01:01,267 --> 00:01:03,168
My cooch has cobwebs on it.
35
00:01:03,236 --> 00:01:04,136
Ew.
36
00:01:04,204 --> 00:01:05,804
Krieger, hey, wanna get a drink?
37
00:01:05,871 --> 00:01:08,507
Oooooooooooooh, no.
38
00:01:08,575 --> 00:01:12,211
- It's mushi night, movie and sushi
- With... oh.
39
00:01:12,278 --> 00:01:13,878
Meaning that's tentacle porn.
40
00:01:13,946 --> 00:01:15,947
"Fisherman's Wife"
and "Fisherman's Wife Two:"
41
00:01:16,015 --> 00:01:17,349
"The Re-Tentacling."
42
00:01:19,519 --> 00:01:22,053
Mother, hey,
wanna go get a drink?
43
00:01:22,122 --> 00:01:24,055
You know, as a
matter of fact, I do.
44
00:01:24,124 --> 00:01:28,026
- Oh, okay, uh --
- And as another matter of fact, I am.
45
00:01:28,094 --> 00:01:30,429
With Ron, in the bar
at The Tuntmore.
46
00:01:30,497 --> 00:01:35,867
And if he plays his cards right, he'll
be wetting a lot more than his --
47
00:01:36,769 --> 00:01:37,302
Oww!
48
00:01:37,370 --> 00:01:38,370
What is wrong with you?!
49
00:01:38,438 --> 00:01:40,139
Well for one
thing, tinnitus!
50
00:01:40,206 --> 00:01:43,775
Which... Yeah, I think
it's getting worse.
51
00:01:43,843 --> 00:01:46,811
And how do they all have dates,
these aren't people you date,
52
00:01:46,879 --> 00:01:50,815
I'm who should have a date,
I'm the... best at dates.
53
00:01:50,883 --> 00:01:53,084
Hmm, I wonder if
Lana has a date.
54
00:01:53,153 --> 00:01:54,119
Yes!
55
00:01:54,187 --> 00:01:56,054
- Lana?
- Yes!
56
00:01:56,122 --> 00:01:58,357
- You heard that?
- Yes!
57
00:01:58,424 --> 00:01:59,758
Who're you,
Jaime Sommers?
58
00:01:59,825 --> 00:02:00,459
Yes!
59
00:02:00,527 --> 00:02:03,895
No seriously, I can barely hear me,
are my ears really that messed up?
60
00:02:03,963 --> 00:02:06,131
Yes! Yes! Yes!
61
00:02:06,199 --> 00:02:09,364
Okay, Jesus, I'm not deaf,
I'm just --
62
00:02:09,490 --> 00:02:11,861
Going to vomit.
63
00:02:11,904 --> 00:02:13,104
I am going to vomit.
64
00:02:13,173 --> 00:02:14,706
Not on my
carpet, you're not!
65
00:02:14,774 --> 00:02:20,045
I -- Oh for God's
sake, get a room!
66
00:02:20,812 --> 00:02:22,013
We did.
67
00:02:24,014 --> 00:02:28,614
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
68
00:02:57,593 --> 00:03:01,662
Shut up, because first of all...
I don't have to explain myself to you,
69
00:03:01,730 --> 00:03:04,132
of all people, and --
70
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:07,468
-- and if you blow that
thing again the next time you
71
00:03:07,536 --> 00:03:10,838
hear it'll be when some whore
is giving you a blow job.
72
00:03:10,907 --> 00:03:13,041
Doesn't even make sense.
73
00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:17,178
I think she means she'll
shove it up your --
74
00:03:17,246 --> 00:03:19,180
Dickhole, and where
did you get that?!
75
00:03:19,248 --> 00:03:20,715
Rape prevention class.
76
00:03:20,783 --> 00:03:24,419
Which, turns out, is a
not-good place to meet women.
77
00:03:24,486 --> 00:03:25,253
No shit.
78
00:03:25,321 --> 00:03:29,324
Yeah, it's like their guard is
so up, it's -- Cyril, scotch, where?!
79
00:03:29,392 --> 00:03:31,526
Well if you mean my
grandfather's Glengoolie Blue,
80
00:03:31,593 --> 00:03:33,995
you drank it and then puked
it into my trash can!
81
00:03:34,063 --> 00:03:37,132
Oh my God, Lana I get,
she wants to make me jealous,
82
00:03:37,199 --> 00:03:39,901
but are you seriously just
getting me back for the scotch?!
83
00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:42,237
Do you even hear yourself?
84
00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:43,671
It honestly
kinda comes and goes.
85
00:03:43,739 --> 00:03:47,742
Well, since thanks to you I didn't
do the former, now we're doing the latter.
86
00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:49,277
Cyril, go start the car.
87
00:03:49,345 --> 00:03:51,413
- Are you not going--
- Cyril?
88
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:53,348
Remember the ground
rules for this?
89
00:03:53,416 --> 00:03:55,951
So carefully negotiated?
90
00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:57,718
I will go start the car.
91
00:03:57,786 --> 00:04:01,789
- And before you say it --
- How long's it been since you got laid, Lana?
92
00:04:01,857 --> 00:04:04,159
That's not why I'm
dating Cyril again!
93
00:04:04,226 --> 00:04:07,429
- Uh-huh, so two --
- No! Not two years!
94
00:04:07,496 --> 00:04:10,198
Ass.
95
00:04:10,266 --> 00:04:11,466
Fourteen months.
96
00:04:11,533 --> 00:04:12,934
So go ahead, laugh.
97
00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:13,468
At what?
98
00:04:13,535 --> 00:04:14,836
I was gonna say two weeks.
99
00:04:14,903 --> 00:04:21,176
Two years is... Lana, that's the --
third saddest thing I've heard today.
100
00:04:21,243 --> 00:04:24,512
Pam told me about a little girl who
drowned trying to save a puppy.
101
00:04:24,580 --> 00:04:27,415
Jesus... what was
the second saddest?
102
00:04:27,483 --> 00:04:29,985
The puppy drowned too.
103
00:04:30,052 --> 00:04:35,623
But it's a close third, I mean don't do this,
Lana, c'mon, I'd be happy to bang you.
104
00:04:35,691 --> 00:04:38,093
Me and anybody who
could fog a mirror.
105
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:41,496
Well before, maybe, but I
really think I've changed, Ya know!
106
00:04:41,563 --> 00:04:42,897
And-or matured!
107
00:04:42,965 --> 00:04:43,664
Ha.
108
00:04:43,732 --> 00:04:48,803
No, I'm serious, with the cancer,
and my possible father dying, and um...
109
00:04:48,871 --> 00:04:50,305
oh my God, the tinnitus?!
110
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:52,240
- Archer...
- Hang on, should we get that?
111
00:04:52,308 --> 00:04:53,441
Get what?
112
00:04:53,509 --> 00:04:55,576
Is the phone not...?
113
00:04:55,644 --> 00:04:58,346
Damn you, tinnitus,
you're a cruel mistress!
114
00:04:59,681 --> 00:05:00,748
But seriously, do
you not hear that?
115
00:05:00,816 --> 00:05:01,983
Yes, now!
116
00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:02,817
It's your phone!
117
00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:04,886
Oh. Duh.
118
00:05:04,953 --> 00:05:09,090
Wait please, Lana, c'mon, you can't
deny we're attracted to each other!
119
00:05:09,158 --> 00:05:09,724
So?!
120
00:05:09,791 --> 00:05:12,693
So what if all that
stuff really has matured me?
121
00:05:12,761 --> 00:05:15,363
I know I'm not perfect, but
you have to admit I'm better!
122
00:05:15,431 --> 00:05:16,131
Than?
123
00:05:16,198 --> 00:05:17,932
Than I was!
124
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:19,901
And also than Cyril
could ever be.
125
00:05:19,968 --> 00:05:23,905
- First of all, Cyril --
- Cheated on you as much as I did, Lana,
126
00:05:23,972 --> 00:05:27,442
- and I'm ten times handsomer than
him, so... - They're the same!
127
00:05:27,510 --> 00:05:29,744
Lana, be
honest with yourself.
128
00:05:29,811 --> 00:05:31,779
It was actually
about ten times worse.
129
00:05:32,981 --> 00:05:35,183
What happened to your
idiot voicemail?!
130
00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:39,921
I'm doing this new thing, where
now it just rings, drives people crazy.
131
00:05:39,988 --> 00:05:42,557
- Oh my God, you have matured...
- Lana, I have!
132
00:05:42,624 --> 00:05:43,724
Just let me prove it!
133
00:05:43,792 --> 00:05:44,359
If.
134
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:48,163
In some crazy parallel
universe I agreed to that.
135
00:05:48,230 --> 00:05:49,297
How would you.
136
00:05:49,365 --> 00:05:54,369
By -- Jesus, hang on, Woodhouse
might be trapped in the dumbwaiter again.
137
00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:55,870
He was in there two
days last time.
138
00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:58,339
Your apartment's one level,
how do you have a dumbwaiter?
139
00:05:58,407 --> 00:05:59,840
Goes sideways.
140
00:05:59,908 --> 00:06:01,609
Mmmmmmmmyello?
141
00:06:01,677 --> 00:06:03,278
Speaking.
142
00:06:03,345 --> 00:06:04,579
Uh-huh.
143
00:06:04,646 --> 00:06:06,481
Uh-huh.
144
00:06:06,549 --> 00:06:08,349
Uh-huh.
145
00:06:08,417 --> 00:06:09,551
Uh-huh.
146
00:06:09,618 --> 00:06:11,286
Uh-huh.
147
00:06:11,353 --> 00:06:12,954
Okay, bye.
148
00:06:13,021 --> 00:06:14,189
Yes!
149
00:06:14,256 --> 00:06:16,424
Okay, Lana, check you later.
150
00:06:16,492 --> 00:06:17,392
What?
151
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:18,726
What about all that just now?
152
00:06:18,794 --> 00:06:19,760
All what just now?
153
00:06:19,828 --> 00:06:22,663
About how much you've matured,
and how you want to get back together?
154
00:06:22,731 --> 00:06:23,698
That's what you heard?
155
00:06:23,765 --> 00:06:26,267
Wow, your ears are
even worse than mine.
156
00:06:26,335 --> 00:06:28,436
Wait, was that
even Woodhouse?
157
00:06:28,504 --> 00:06:29,170
Nooop!
158
00:06:29,238 --> 00:06:31,272
Then who was it?!
159
00:06:34,076 --> 00:06:39,214
Yes, my dear
Sterling, come for me.
160
00:06:39,281 --> 00:06:41,449
Phrezzing, boom.
161
00:06:49,122 --> 00:06:51,891
Hey, asshole!
162
00:06:58,298 --> 00:06:59,165
Thanks.
163
00:06:59,233 --> 00:07:01,835
And oh, my name is Cyril Figgis.
164
00:07:26,277 --> 00:07:29,646
Hey, how's it going?
165
00:07:29,713 --> 00:07:32,048
Thenk you,
they are beautiful.
166
00:07:32,116 --> 00:07:36,219
Sorry about the chocolate, I
didn't know you were allergic or whatever.
167
00:07:36,287 --> 00:07:37,420
The alkaloids.
168
00:07:37,488 --> 00:07:40,056
They can make a problem
with my bioelectronics.
169
00:07:40,124 --> 00:07:41,525
Oh. Right.
170
00:07:41,592 --> 00:07:42,792
Because you have those.
171
00:07:42,860 --> 00:07:44,727
And I'm sorry
if you misunderstood.
172
00:07:44,795 --> 00:07:46,896
I did not call you
for the romance.
173
00:07:46,964 --> 00:07:53,002
I -- yeah I mean yeah,
no, duh, and besides I wouldn't
174
00:07:53,070 --> 00:07:55,672
be interested, I have
a girlfriend, so.
175
00:07:55,739 --> 00:07:56,406
Oh.
176
00:07:56,474 --> 00:07:58,141
Yeah, an actress.
177
00:07:58,209 --> 00:08:00,610
Of stage and screen.
178
00:08:00,678 --> 00:08:01,311
Oh.
179
00:08:01,379 --> 00:08:03,446
Well, I hope she
makes you happy.
180
00:08:03,514 --> 00:08:06,749
Is funny, you don't
ask where is Barry.
181
00:08:06,817 --> 00:08:10,987
What do you mean where is
Barry, he's -- Yeah, where is Barry?
182
00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:16,926
I... I don't know!
183
00:08:16,994 --> 00:08:21,498
And only one week after, well, you
know, when I left you for him,
184
00:08:21,566 --> 00:08:24,133
he said he must go
for work, to London.
185
00:08:24,202 --> 00:08:27,837
- Wow, that was months ago...
- And since then, nothing!
186
00:08:27,905 --> 00:08:30,473
Not a word!
187
00:08:30,541 --> 00:08:32,709
What could have
happened to him?!
188
00:08:32,776 --> 00:08:37,180
- Uhhh...
- Noooooooooooooooooooo!
189
00:08:37,248 --> 00:08:38,948
He is on space station?!
190
00:08:39,016 --> 00:08:39,716
But why?!
191
00:08:39,783 --> 00:08:44,421
Well, ya know, I hate to say
this, but obviously he met someone else.
192
00:08:44,488 --> 00:08:45,955
Sterling. Pliz.
193
00:08:46,023 --> 00:08:49,559
Yeah, that was the -- third
dumbest thing I've ever said.
194
00:08:49,627 --> 00:08:51,861
Wait, what
were the first two?
195
00:08:51,929 --> 00:08:55,732
Buddy, you
just sold a timeshare!
196
00:08:55,799 --> 00:08:58,668
Make that two timeshares!
197
00:08:58,736 --> 00:09:02,672
- Goddamn maintenance fees...
- Sterling, will you please help me find him?
198
00:09:02,740 --> 00:09:03,172
How?
199
00:09:03,241 --> 00:09:05,041
That office was just a trailer.
200
00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:06,075
Barry.
201
00:09:06,143 --> 00:09:08,245
Oh. Barry, right.
202
00:09:08,312 --> 00:09:10,146
Pliz, Sterling.
203
00:09:10,214 --> 00:09:18,321
If you ever truly loved me, you
will help Barry to come home to me.
204
00:09:18,389 --> 00:09:20,257
'kay.
205
00:09:20,324 --> 00:09:23,260
Okay, lemme get this straight...
You wanna help psycho
206
00:09:23,327 --> 00:09:27,364
cyborg supervillain Barry, who's trapped
in space like General frickin Zod,
207
00:09:27,431 --> 00:09:29,999
get back to earth so
she'll dump him for you?
208
00:09:30,067 --> 00:09:30,600
Right?
209
00:09:30,668 --> 00:09:33,236
When Barry gets back she'll
realize what a dick he is,
210
00:09:33,304 --> 00:09:38,174
so she'll need somebody to talk to, so enter
Sterling Archer, the sensitive friend!
211
00:09:38,242 --> 00:09:39,942
What is
this, Opposite World?
212
00:09:40,010 --> 00:09:42,279
Yeah, right?
213
00:09:42,346 --> 00:09:45,282
Oh for -- this is
not Opposite World.
214
00:09:45,349 --> 00:09:48,084
- I think in her mind that mean
- God, okay!
215
00:09:48,152 --> 00:09:49,886
This is Opposite World!
216
00:09:49,953 --> 00:09:50,787
Whew!
217
00:09:50,854 --> 00:09:53,022
Um, okay, and since
certain people around
218
00:09:53,090 --> 00:09:55,258
here may not see how
brilliant my plan is,
219
00:09:55,326 --> 00:09:56,859
- they're gonna need to be --
Convinced?
220
00:09:56,927 --> 00:09:59,763
I'm sorry, did
you say incapacitated?
221
00:09:59,830 --> 00:10:03,300
- Because, Krieger, I can't have the--
- Responsible people?
222
00:10:03,367 --> 00:10:04,534
Naysayers!
223
00:10:04,602 --> 00:10:07,637
Walk in on you while you're
helping Barry build a rocket!
224
00:10:07,705 --> 00:10:09,939
Barry The
Unstoppable Psycho-Cyborg.
225
00:10:10,007 --> 00:10:11,708
He's not
unstoppable anymore!
226
00:10:11,776 --> 00:10:14,377
Ray's got bionic legs!
227
00:10:14,445 --> 00:10:17,614
But if you don't wanna see two
robots smashing each other with
228
00:10:17,682 --> 00:10:22,018
cop cars and shit as they fight to the
death through the streets of Manhattan...
229
00:10:22,085 --> 00:10:23,186
Bup bup bup bup bup!
230
00:10:23,253 --> 00:10:24,854
Stop.
231
00:10:24,922 --> 00:10:27,256
My penis can only get so erect.
232
00:10:27,325 --> 00:10:29,693
HOLOGRAM: Honntou ne...
[Very true...]
233
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:31,127
I was tired!
234
00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:32,462
Ew.
235
00:10:39,670 --> 00:10:40,937
Cyril?
236
00:10:41,004 --> 00:10:41,538
What.
237
00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:46,976
Ew.
238
00:10:47,044 --> 00:10:48,545
Ray?
239
00:10:48,612 --> 00:10:49,145
What.
240
00:10:50,815 --> 00:10:53,082
Seriously, how
is that even a genre?
241
00:10:53,150 --> 00:10:54,784
And is this just
jackoff central?
242
00:10:54,852 --> 00:10:57,253
Ugh, not with all
this damn racket!
243
00:10:57,321 --> 00:10:58,988
Wh-? Why aren't
you in position?!
244
00:10:59,056 --> 00:11:01,023
I am, this is how I do it!
245
00:11:01,091 --> 00:11:02,058
Wh-? Ewww!
246
00:11:02,125 --> 00:11:03,326
I meant with Mother!
247
00:11:03,394 --> 00:11:04,126
Oh.
248
00:11:04,194 --> 00:11:05,462
I put Cheryl on that.
249
00:11:05,529 --> 00:11:07,797
Great, Miss
Opposite World?!
250
00:11:07,865 --> 00:11:10,467
You heard
me, do not go in there.
251
00:11:10,534 --> 00:11:12,134
Why, what are
you hiding this time?
252
00:11:12,202 --> 00:11:15,739
Probably another one of
her so-called mystery fires.
253
00:11:15,806 --> 00:11:20,510
Lana, I said no!
254
00:11:20,578 --> 00:11:24,848
Okay, so where's
the... fire.
255
00:11:28,285 --> 00:11:30,353
Worst. Day. Evah!
256
00:11:30,421 --> 00:11:31,454
Okay status report!
257
00:11:31,522 --> 00:11:32,622
Mother in there?
258
00:11:32,690 --> 00:11:33,256
No.
259
00:11:33,323 --> 00:11:34,957
Carol, open
this damn door!
260
00:11:35,025 --> 00:11:38,160
- Um, okay, now I just need to find
- Cheryl!
261
00:11:38,228 --> 00:11:39,328
And neither is Lana.
262
00:11:39,397 --> 00:11:40,162
Nice!
263
00:11:40,230 --> 00:11:44,901
Hey excellent job, seriously--
Ow! I mean... totally shit job?
264
00:11:44,968 --> 00:11:45,602
Cheryl!
265
00:11:45,669 --> 00:11:46,403
Thank you.
266
00:11:46,470 --> 00:11:49,639
- So when I said this is Opposite World --
- Pam.
267
00:11:49,707 --> 00:11:51,808
The important thing
is that I'm happy.
268
00:11:51,876 --> 00:11:54,176
Try not to overthink it.
269
00:11:54,244 --> 00:11:57,313
I just wanna help you finish
your new spaceship, why is that weird?
270
00:11:57,381 --> 00:12:00,417
Why is that weird -- Because my
sworn purpose in life is to murder your
271
00:12:00,484 --> 00:12:01,451
little buddy Archer?
272
00:12:01,519 --> 00:12:02,151
Archer?
273
00:12:02,219 --> 00:12:04,854
No way man, I hate that guy!
274
00:12:04,922 --> 00:12:05,522
Since when?
275
00:12:05,589 --> 00:12:08,591
Since, um, he
slept with my girlfriend!
276
00:12:08,659 --> 00:12:11,260
Dattara iinoni...
[I wish.]
277
00:12:11,328 --> 00:12:11,895
Keep it up.
278
00:12:11,962 --> 00:12:13,496
God, that is
just classic Archer!
279
00:12:13,564 --> 00:12:14,230
Right?
280
00:12:14,298 --> 00:12:17,333
I mean, not a huge surprise,
from a self-centered alcoholic
281
00:12:17,401 --> 00:12:19,185
who feels compelled to
sleep with every woman
282
00:12:19,211 --> 00:12:20,762
he meets because
that's the only way to
283
00:12:20,805 --> 00:12:23,339
fill the emptiness inside where
his mother's love should -- ow!
284
00:12:23,407 --> 00:12:24,774
Do what?
285
00:12:24,842 --> 00:12:26,309
One sec?
286
00:12:26,376 --> 00:12:27,209
What the shit?!
287
00:12:27,277 --> 00:12:29,712
What, you said be convin--
Convincing!
288
00:12:29,780 --> 00:12:31,047
Not deliberately hurtful!
289
00:12:31,114 --> 00:12:31,948
Well?!
290
00:12:32,015 --> 00:12:32,982
Yo, asshole!
291
00:12:33,050 --> 00:12:34,116
What're we doing here?
292
00:12:34,184 --> 00:12:35,819
Fixing that
spaceship, buddy!
293
00:12:35,886 --> 00:12:38,054
Looks like it's just
about done, huh?
294
00:12:38,121 --> 00:12:41,724
Yeah, those scientists
were pretty resourceful.
295
00:12:41,792 --> 00:12:43,125
Until they all died.
296
00:12:43,193 --> 00:12:46,663
And how did
they, um, all die?
297
00:12:46,730 --> 00:12:49,799
Oh... different ways.
298
00:12:49,867 --> 00:12:51,167
'kay.
299
00:12:51,234 --> 00:12:52,569
Swift and severe.
300
00:12:52,636 --> 00:12:56,305
The punishment will
be swift and severe.
301
00:12:56,373 --> 00:12:59,141
I mean it, Lana, that
girl is out of here.
302
00:12:59,209 --> 00:13:02,979
Aww, and right when she was gonna
invest ten million dollars in ISIS.
303
00:13:03,046 --> 00:13:04,180
She said that?!
304
00:13:04,247 --> 00:13:07,650
Oh my God, that phony
prospectus must've worked!
305
00:13:07,718 --> 00:13:09,452
Do you think the
money's in here?!
306
00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:11,721
Come on, help me
look in these boxes!
307
00:13:11,789 --> 00:13:12,321
Malory!
308
00:13:12,389 --> 00:13:13,523
What?!
309
00:13:13,591 --> 00:13:15,024
Oh.
310
00:13:15,092 --> 00:13:16,125
Dammit.
311
00:13:16,193 --> 00:13:20,096
So yeah... Krieger's helping
Barry finish his rocketship,
312
00:13:20,163 --> 00:13:23,666
and when he gets home he can...
tell you about the other woman.
313
00:13:23,734 --> 00:13:24,333
The what?!
314
00:13:24,401 --> 00:13:26,035
Wait, how'd we
get to another woman?
315
00:13:26,103 --> 00:13:28,671
Oh my God, do you
have proof of this?!
316
00:13:28,739 --> 00:13:33,309
- No, I -- can probably get some...
- Oh, Sterling!
317
00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:37,647
- If Barry really is cheating on me...
- And also if I prove it somehow...
318
00:13:37,715 --> 00:13:39,382
Then he will
be dead to me!
319
00:13:39,449 --> 00:13:43,319
Because I will kill him
with my bare hands!
320
00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:48,791
Yeah, or not, since then there's
no reason for him to come home at all!
321
00:13:48,859 --> 00:13:49,559
What's that?
322
00:13:49,627 --> 00:13:50,860
Nothing, what?
323
00:13:50,928 --> 00:13:53,029
Oh, you mean that?
324
00:13:53,096 --> 00:13:56,465
Sorry, that's... just
a sympathy boner.
325
00:14:02,010 --> 00:14:03,243
Oww!
326
00:14:03,311 --> 00:14:04,211
Woooo!
327
00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:06,714
Cyril Figgis strikes again!
328
00:14:15,156 --> 00:14:15,989
Status report!
329
00:14:16,057 --> 00:14:17,091
Terrible!
330
00:14:17,158 --> 00:14:19,359
Wait, what
hap -- goddammit!
331
00:14:19,427 --> 00:14:20,293
What?!
332
00:14:20,361 --> 00:14:21,661
Dude, assimilate!
333
00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:24,131
Are Mother and
Lana still in the vault?
334
00:14:24,199 --> 00:14:24,798
No.
335
00:14:24,866 --> 00:14:26,499
I -- rrgh!
336
00:14:26,567 --> 00:14:30,104
A situation, by the way,
for which I blame you entirely.
337
00:14:30,171 --> 00:14:31,939
How is this my fault?!
338
00:14:32,006 --> 00:14:36,176
You were the -- holy shit, there really
are nerve gas canisters up here!
339
00:14:36,244 --> 00:14:37,911
I thought that was a joke!
340
00:14:37,979 --> 00:14:39,312
How is that funny?
341
00:14:39,380 --> 00:14:41,081
Because I said so.
342
00:14:41,149 --> 00:14:42,349
What's this
even written on?
343
00:14:42,416 --> 00:14:43,951
A bar bill,
and just do it.
344
00:14:44,018 --> 00:14:45,953
Forget about actually
fixing the rocket.
345
00:14:46,020 --> 00:14:48,421
But what about
the robot fight?!
346
00:14:48,489 --> 00:14:50,590
And why are you
beating on shit?!
347
00:14:50,658 --> 00:14:52,226
Because shit is stuck!
348
00:14:52,293 --> 00:14:52,726
Dude!
349
00:14:52,794 --> 00:14:54,128
It's not a frickin tractor!
350
00:14:54,195 --> 00:14:56,930
Yeah, that's what all the
space-nerds up here kept saying.
351
00:14:56,998 --> 00:14:59,933
Until Other Barry just
couldn't stand it anymore.
352
00:15:00,001 --> 00:15:01,101
I --
Krieger!
353
00:15:01,169 --> 00:15:03,737
Forget the robot fight and
just read the damn script!
354
00:15:03,805 --> 00:15:06,406
Then upload the audio
to the mainframe!
355
00:15:06,474 --> 00:15:08,375
Okay, either Barry!
356
00:15:08,442 --> 00:15:11,344
I need you to find a female
co-ax bus connector.
357
00:15:11,412 --> 00:15:14,614
What's a female...
whatever look like?
358
00:15:14,682 --> 00:15:15,482
Pam!
359
00:15:15,549 --> 00:15:16,784
Pam!
360
00:15:16,851 --> 00:15:18,118
Paaaaaam!
361
00:15:18,186 --> 00:15:19,052
Whaaat?!
362
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:22,222
C'mon, I need your help on --
wait, what were you doing in there?
363
00:15:22,290 --> 00:15:22,990
Nothin.
364
00:15:23,057 --> 00:15:24,457
But don't go in there!
365
00:15:24,525 --> 00:15:25,926
No, huh-uh!
366
00:15:25,994 --> 00:15:29,163
That's how Mother and Lana
wound up locked in the vault!
367
00:15:29,230 --> 00:15:32,199
- A situation, by the way, for which--
I heard you!
368
00:15:32,267 --> 00:15:32,699
C'mon!
369
00:15:32,767 --> 00:15:35,102
You're still into all that
stupid AV stuff, right?
370
00:15:35,170 --> 00:15:39,015
Uh... Not reeeally...
371
00:15:39,041 --> 00:15:42,701
- Okay, so screw those in...
- Wait... all of 'em?
372
00:15:42,743 --> 00:15:44,377
Dammit
man, I said screw!
373
00:15:44,445 --> 00:15:46,079
I am screwing!
374
00:15:46,147 --> 00:15:48,215
Wow, this
might actually work.
375
00:15:48,283 --> 00:15:49,116
What's that?
376
00:15:49,184 --> 00:15:50,784
I said why
not use this one.
377
00:15:50,852 --> 00:15:52,152
No! Gimme that!
378
00:15:52,220 --> 00:15:53,420
Why, what's on here?
379
00:15:53,487 --> 00:15:55,222
Nothing! Jesus!
380
00:15:55,290 --> 00:15:56,690
Christ, Ray!
381
00:15:56,757 --> 00:15:58,058
Is it too much to ask?!
382
00:15:58,126 --> 00:15:59,326
Just once?!
383
00:15:59,393 --> 00:16:04,531
To be unconscious in a bathroom without
being sexually assaulted by -- you, um...
384
00:16:04,598 --> 00:16:05,933
...have a dart in your neck.
385
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,901
Oh. So do you.
386
00:16:07,969 --> 00:16:09,069
Oh.
387
00:16:09,137 --> 00:16:11,939
- Sorry I accused you of, um...
- It's okay.
388
00:16:12,006 --> 00:16:14,041
C'mon, let's find our --
389
00:16:16,878 --> 00:16:19,412
- Noooooooooooooooooooo!
- Noooooooooooooooooooo!
390
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,649
Yes... owww!
391
00:16:22,717 --> 00:16:23,450
Will you focus?!
392
00:16:23,517 --> 00:16:25,518
That's as good
as I can get it!
393
00:16:25,586 --> 00:16:26,486
Dicknuts!
394
00:16:26,554 --> 00:16:30,790
Shut up, okay, then that'll have
to do, so make a tape or whatever, and --
395
00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:34,761
So, just a quick heads up,
Ms. Archer and Lana are still in the vault.
396
00:16:34,829 --> 00:16:35,729
Wh-?
397
00:16:35,796 --> 00:16:37,204
Then why are you bothering--
398
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:38,323
- Carol!
- Cheryl!
399
00:16:39,433 --> 00:16:41,701
Pam you better
not be making pornos!
400
00:16:41,769 --> 00:16:42,469
'kay!
401
00:16:42,536 --> 00:16:43,603
Tape, woman, tape!
402
00:16:43,671 --> 00:16:44,905
Okay, here!
403
00:16:44,973 --> 00:16:47,207
Dicknuts!
404
00:16:56,417 --> 00:16:58,818
I'm afraid I
have some bad news.
405
00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:02,722
Now, the audio's a little rough, ya
know, it's from outer space, but --
406
00:17:02,790 --> 00:17:03,556
Sterling, pliz!
407
00:17:03,624 --> 00:17:04,892
I want to hear it.
408
00:17:04,959 --> 00:17:08,161
- Well, Katya, you say that...
- Barry?
409
00:17:08,229 --> 00:17:09,729
Barry it's me, Archer.
410
00:17:09,797 --> 00:17:11,131
That's not me,
talking to Barry.
411
00:17:11,199 --> 00:17:11,564
Shh!
412
00:17:11,632 --> 00:17:12,432
Classic Archer!
413
00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:14,167
That's Barry, talking to--
Shhhhh!
414
00:17:14,235 --> 00:17:17,064
Yeah so listen, Katya
asked me to call you...
415
00:17:17,090 --> 00:17:17,796
Shit.
416
00:17:17,838 --> 00:17:19,606
She's wondering
why you left.
417
00:17:19,673 --> 00:17:21,875
Because couldn't
stand it anymore.
418
00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:24,513
So you lied
to her about being on
419
00:17:24,539 --> 00:17:26,671
- the space station because--
- Archer.
420
00:17:26,714 --> 00:17:28,681
I am screwing!
421
00:17:28,749 --> 00:17:29,349
Female.
422
00:17:29,417 --> 00:17:31,084
Scientists up here all of 'em?
423
00:17:31,752 --> 00:17:33,987
Oh, I was
gonna ask which one but--
424
00:17:33,993 --> 00:17:34,712
All of 'em?
425
00:17:34,755 --> 00:17:36,049
All of 'em?
All of --
426
00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,791
- Okay Barry, I --
- Different ways.
427
00:17:37,858 --> 00:17:38,558
Like?
428
00:17:38,626 --> 00:17:39,092
In.
429
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:39,893
Asshole!
430
00:17:40,995 --> 00:17:42,095
Okay, Barry!
431
00:17:42,163 --> 00:17:46,133
Jesus, have some--
432
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:47,134
Katya, baby, don't!
433
00:17:47,201 --> 00:17:50,037
C'mon, you'll -- wait, does
that even hurt your hands?
434
00:17:50,104 --> 00:17:53,473
The only thing
that hurts is my heart!
435
00:17:53,541 --> 00:17:58,178
And when Barry gets back, his heart
will hurt, because I will rip it out!
436
00:17:58,246 --> 00:18:01,014
What if... Barry
wasn't coming back?
437
00:18:01,082 --> 00:18:03,183
But you said Krieger
was fixing rocket.
438
00:18:03,251 --> 00:18:07,887
Yeah, but only because he wanted
to see an epic robot fi -- oh, shit!
439
00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:09,056
Will you excuse me?
440
00:18:09,123 --> 00:18:10,857
For a sec?
441
00:18:12,660 --> 00:18:14,761
No no no no no no no no!
442
00:18:14,829 --> 00:18:16,063
Yes!
443
00:18:16,130 --> 00:18:17,397
I think that's got 'er, dude!
444
00:18:17,465 --> 00:18:19,333
Told you it was
the viscous coupling!
445
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,234
Well goody,
you win space camp.
446
00:18:21,302 --> 00:18:25,872
So tell Archer I'm coming for him,
phrasing, boom, and both Barrys out!
447
00:18:25,940 --> 00:18:27,274
Krieger!
448
00:18:27,342 --> 00:18:30,543
Why is Barry rocket-shipping away
from the frickin space station?!
449
00:18:30,611 --> 00:18:33,413
Because Newton's
Third Law of Motion?
450
00:18:33,481 --> 00:18:35,715
Hey thanks,
Neil deGrasse Tyson!
451
00:18:35,783 --> 00:18:38,213
Oooooh,
deGrasse Tyson-san...
452
00:18:38,239 --> 00:18:40,912
How the hell
did you fix his ship?!
453
00:18:40,955 --> 00:18:42,356
I gave you a bunch of gibberish!
454
00:18:42,423 --> 00:18:45,425
I may have gone
a teeny bit off script?
455
00:18:45,493 --> 00:18:46,026
Wh-?
456
00:18:46,094 --> 00:18:47,461
What is wrong with you?!
457
00:18:47,528 --> 00:18:48,295
With me?
458
00:18:48,363 --> 00:18:50,297
Dude, robot fight.
459
00:18:50,365 --> 00:18:53,533
- Oh, and Barry said tell you he's--
I heard him!
460
00:18:53,601 --> 00:18:55,702
Okay, I'll tell Katya to pack
a bag and we'll move to,
461
00:18:55,769 --> 00:19:00,207
Alaska or somewhere else snowy,
where he can't track us!
462
00:19:00,274 --> 00:19:01,341
Doesn't
even make sense.
463
00:19:01,409 --> 00:19:03,543
You know what
doesn't make sense?!
464
00:19:03,611 --> 00:19:05,912
The number you have dialed
has been disconnected or is --
465
00:19:05,980 --> 00:19:07,147
Nooooooooooooooooooo!
466
00:19:07,215 --> 00:19:08,648
longer in service.
467
00:19:08,716 --> 00:19:09,349
Goodbye.
468
00:19:12,253 --> 00:19:15,155
Hey, punkin pie!
469
00:19:15,223 --> 00:19:18,858
Dun't give me your pie of pumpkin,
Barry, you are in the big trouble!
470
00:19:18,926 --> 00:19:20,260
- I --
- I told you!
471
00:19:20,328 --> 00:19:22,695
I said dun't try to kill
Sterling and what do you do?!
472
00:19:22,763 --> 00:19:23,763
Um, that.
473
00:19:23,831 --> 00:19:24,597
Da.
474
00:19:24,665 --> 00:19:26,199
But I do what you ask me.
475
00:19:26,267 --> 00:19:29,802
To repair your rocket, I use Sterling,
and once again break his heart, so --
476
00:19:29,870 --> 00:19:31,538
Archer? Please.
477
00:19:31,605 --> 00:19:33,640
No. You pliz, he loves me.
478
00:19:33,707 --> 00:19:35,608
You should have heard
thet pathetic tape.
479
00:19:35,676 --> 00:19:37,411
- Well whatever, look --
- No. You look.
480
00:19:37,478 --> 00:19:40,947
When you get home you are going
to hev some new ground rules.
481
00:19:41,015 --> 00:19:42,382
Okay, hon?
482
00:19:42,450 --> 00:19:47,954
Look, I'm sorry I lied, but,
ya know, I make the rules.
483
00:19:48,022 --> 00:19:52,692
- I mean, I am the head of the KGB, so--
- Hello?
484
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,861
Darling, you are breaking up.
485
00:19:58,332 --> 00:20:01,668
Now who do I hev to screw
to get a drink around here?
486
00:20:01,735 --> 00:20:03,036
Nobody, ma'am.
487
00:20:03,104 --> 00:20:07,107
Unless you wunt.
488
00:20:07,175 --> 00:20:10,977
And if you do wunt,
I ken be buttum.
489
00:20:11,005 --> 00:20:12,677
No problum there.
490
00:20:13,075 --> 00:20:19,977
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com