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00:00:02,824 --> 00:00:04,074
Schenectady?!
2
00:00:05,182 --> 00:00:07,083
You're in Schenectady?!
3
00:00:07,150 --> 00:00:12,154
After all your naggy lectures about how
I need to stop micro-managing ISIS?!
4
00:00:12,222 --> 00:00:14,090
You do!
And this is... macro-managing!
5
00:00:14,157 --> 00:00:16,926
C'mon, some things I gotta do myself!
6
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Mr. Archer's on line two.
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I'm on the phone!
8
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Yeah, duh, line two.
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00:00:22,032 --> 00:00:23,113
Wh-?
- Mother?!
10
00:00:23,133 --> 00:00:24,333
Sterling --
Don't talk, just listen!
11
00:00:24,401 --> 00:00:27,003
My cover's blown and I
need an extraction!
12
00:00:27,071 --> 00:00:30,272
Oh my -- wait,
extraction from where?
13
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Montreal, long story, but my money
and passport were confiscated, so --
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00:00:34,244 --> 00:00:36,980
So where in Montreal exactly?
15
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Uh... Like, the GPS coordinates, or --
Bienvenue au Casino de Montreal.
16
00:00:43,220 --> 00:00:45,989
Confiscated by whom?
A croupier?
17
00:00:46,056 --> 00:00:47,890
- No!
- Or a herd of Quebecker whores?!
18
00:00:47,958 --> 00:00:50,159
- I wouldn't say herd...
- Well, after you get some
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free penicillin, compliments of the
Socialist Republic of Canada --
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Wait, really?
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00:00:54,898 --> 00:00:56,633
-- you can extract
yourself, mister!
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00:00:56,700 --> 00:00:59,301
- Mother I don't have a passpor --
-- I mean don't
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00:00:59,369 --> 00:01:01,871
get me wrong, I respect that,
but comparing ISIS to six
24
00:01:01,939 --> 00:01:06,408
Cadillac dealerships is like comparing
apples to... six Cadillac --
25
00:01:06,476 --> 00:01:07,677
- Ron!
- What?!
26
00:01:07,745 --> 00:01:10,105
Sterling is stranded at
the Montreal Casino with his
27
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pockets turned out and -- and
this is just speculation --
28
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some new drug-resistant form of V.D.
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- Reeally...
- And you're in Schenectady. Again!
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I'll be home tonight!
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Oh, I know!
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00:01:22,860 --> 00:01:23,926
Because what's tonight?!
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00:01:23,994 --> 00:01:27,363
Uh, Tuesday? Night?
34
00:01:27,430 --> 00:01:28,297
Box seats!
35
00:01:28,365 --> 00:01:30,400
For the opening of "Carmen" at the Met!
36
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Babe, c'mon, I
promise, I'll be there!
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Well if you're not, you can
just not bother coming home at all!
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I --
Trouble on the old hooomfront?
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Oh for the -- eavesdrop much?!
40
00:01:41,244 --> 00:01:43,245
Scream into a speakerphone much?
41
00:01:43,313 --> 00:01:44,547
- Pam...?
- What?!
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00:01:44,614 --> 00:01:47,283
You want us to wear earplugs every
time you're on the damn pho --
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00:01:47,350 --> 00:01:49,952
Ooh, or helmets!
44
00:01:50,020 --> 00:01:52,922
It is just idiots,
all the way down.
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00:01:52,990 --> 00:01:56,959
And his money, I get it, that's all
craps and whores, but his passport?
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How the hell did he lose his passport?
47
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Bekuz, shuddup, bekuz I dunneebit...
Bekuz I dunnever go homerika,
48
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bekuz, shuddup, bekuz je -- hic!
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Je tam!
50
00:02:09,006 --> 00:02:12,909
- Tabernac...
- It's my third biggest fear.
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00:02:12,976 --> 00:02:15,845
He brings home a whore and
says "We're married!"
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00:02:15,913 --> 00:02:20,349
Oh, and the whore has bangs.
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00:02:20,417 --> 00:02:23,886
Ugh, thank God I don't have to worry
about anything like that with Ron.
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"Hi, I'm Ron Cadillac, aka Mr. Boring."
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- Jesus God, what am I doing with...
- Ron Cadillac!
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They don't make the rules!
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You do!
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00:02:35,532 --> 00:02:38,935
Well obviously they do make the
rules, that's why it's come to this.
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Which is why Ron Cadillac is opting out!
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00:02:42,005 --> 00:02:47,476
And also why Ron Cadillac is gonna
swing by Montreal on his way home.
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Because Ron Cadillac is frickin epic.
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:30,294
What.
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00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:32,440
Yes, I'll accept the charges. What.
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00:03:32,470 --> 00:03:35,506
Carol, hey, shut up, I need you
to go down to Western Union and wire me
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a thousand dollars.
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Wow.
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Yeah.
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No.
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Yes!
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No!
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Oh for -- then
just lemme talk to Pam!
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Absolutely not.
Huh?
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Because pick any one of an
infinite number of reasons!
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00:03:50,622 --> 00:03:54,157
- Yeah, okay, hang on...
- Mmmmyeah, no, I would,
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00:03:54,225 --> 00:03:59,763
but I can't really leave the lab at the moment...
But I can transfer you...
77
00:03:59,831 --> 00:04:04,435
No, I seriously
thought you were joking.
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00:04:04,502 --> 00:04:10,006
- Yeah, hang on...
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Okay.
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00:04:11,343 --> 00:04:12,042
Okay!
81
00:04:12,109 --> 00:04:13,344
Lemme talk to Lana!
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Tabernac!
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00:04:14,412 --> 00:04:15,713
You know there is a line?!
84
00:04:15,780 --> 00:04:17,280
There's gonna
be a line at your wake!
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So shut your poutine hole,
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and lemme --
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Lana?! Lana listen, I --
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Noop.
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00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,253
-- need you to --
Noop.
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00:04:23,321 --> 00:04:23,987
Stop saying noop!
91
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:25,021
Noop, Archer.
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00:04:25,089 --> 00:04:25,589
Noop.
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00:04:25,657 --> 00:04:30,361
And it's gonna sound like I'm
hanging up but --
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00:04:30,428 --> 00:04:32,262
Why do you
casser le telephone?!
95
00:04:32,330 --> 00:04:35,198
Because I'm out
of people to call!
96
00:04:35,266 --> 00:04:38,034
Even Woodhouse wouldn't help me...
What do you mean, no?!
97
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I basically own you!
98
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And I basically own him.
99
00:04:41,506 --> 00:04:43,974
Jesus, this is actually
almost depressing.
100
00:04:44,642 --> 00:04:45,776
Need a ride, champ?
101
00:04:45,844 --> 00:04:48,912
Although not as depressing as
Ron what the hell are you doing here?!
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Giving you a ride home.
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C'mon, hop in!
104
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Did Mother send you?
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00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:57,053
Uh, not exactly, I uh, just thought
it'd give us a chance to uh, bond.
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00:04:57,121 --> 00:05:01,057
Yeah, don't take this the wrong way,
Ron, but I'd rather bond with a C.H.U.D.
107
00:05:01,125 --> 00:05:02,693
Il est la!
Il est la!
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But C.H.U.D.'s live
in New York so let's go!
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What the hell is a chud?!
110
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They were people, but then
they got splashed with toxic waste.
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00:05:12,069 --> 00:05:14,405
- Aw, that's a load of crap...
- It's a movie!
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00:05:14,472 --> 00:05:18,542
But those baby alligators people
flush down there, now that's --
113
00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:21,111
Ron! C'mon, seriously,
at some point I'm gonna have to
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take a shit, so --
So why didn't you go before we left?
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Not now!
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In the future!
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And I won't be able to if I'm
thinking about giant alligators
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rampaging up into my toilet!
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- Talk about tearing you a new one...
- For the love of Christ,
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00:05:34,158 --> 00:05:35,492
man! Stop!
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00:05:37,261 --> 00:05:41,197
I meant, stop talking, about
assripping sewer-gators.
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Yeah, I know.
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So?!
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He asked, incredulously!
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You said you didn't have a passport.
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So?!
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He asked, equally incredulously!
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So that.
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Oh. So...?
130
00:05:54,011 --> 00:05:57,280
And that's not sarcastic incredulity,
I honestly wanna hear your
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thoughts on getting me across.
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Why not?!
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Because what if
they check the trunk?!
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00:06:02,854 --> 00:06:03,687
Why would they?
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Because that's exactly their job!
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00:06:05,757 --> 00:06:07,390
Yeah, on the Mexican border!
137
00:06:07,459 --> 00:06:11,361
Who the hell's gonna
sneak in from Canada?!
138
00:06:11,429 --> 00:06:12,162
Arctic wolves?
139
00:06:12,229 --> 00:06:15,298
And even if you had a passport,
what if they checked you for a gun?
140
00:06:15,366 --> 00:06:17,246
I --
You do have a gun, don't you?
141
00:06:17,301 --> 00:06:20,303
Yeah, I --
Yeah, I, so uh, maybe keep it handy.
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00:06:20,371 --> 00:06:20,891
What?
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00:06:20,905 --> 00:06:24,475
Wait, why would I -- Ron?
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00:06:24,542 --> 00:06:27,578
Ron. Ron.
145
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Roooooooooooooooooooon!
146
00:06:29,547 --> 00:06:30,246
What?!
147
00:06:30,314 --> 00:06:32,015
Oh.
148
00:06:32,083 --> 00:06:35,018
Never mind, I got it.
149
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,262
Ron! Let me outta
the goddamn trunk!
150
00:06:43,329 --> 00:06:45,730
We passed the border an hour ago!
151
00:06:45,798 --> 00:06:47,602
Actually more like three hours.
152
00:06:47,722 --> 00:06:50,281
I -- well
apparently I took a nap!
153
00:06:51,938 --> 00:06:53,538
Probably all this carbon dioxide.
154
00:06:53,606 --> 00:06:56,825
It's actually monoxide--
Whichever!
155
00:06:56,945 --> 00:06:58,944
Of carbon's many oxides!
156
00:06:59,012 --> 00:07:02,621
Just lemme out! I gotta bitch of a
headache and a bladder full of bourbon!
157
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:03,780
Just hang on!
158
00:07:03,847 --> 00:07:06,749
They always hit me between
Schenectady and Albany.
159
00:07:06,817 --> 00:07:07,738
Who hits you?!
160
00:07:07,785 --> 00:07:11,555
Uh... Those guys.
161
00:07:11,622 --> 00:07:12,556
What the shit!
162
00:07:12,623 --> 00:07:13,356
Ron!
163
00:07:13,424 --> 00:07:14,458
Yeah, so listen!
164
00:07:14,525 --> 00:07:18,361
Remember when I said maybe
keep your gun handy?!
165
00:07:18,429 --> 00:07:19,162
Yeah, vaguely!
166
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:23,666
Well the thing is --
What's the thing, Ron?!
167
00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:24,701
Oh.
168
00:07:24,768 --> 00:07:26,503
Never mind!
169
00:07:29,540 --> 00:07:31,608
Goddammit Ron, keep it straight!
170
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:38,415
Ha ha! Wooooooo!
171
00:07:38,483 --> 00:07:40,850
Did you whoa whoa whoa Ron, compensate!
172
00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:41,951
I am compensating!
173
00:07:42,019 --> 00:07:45,054
No no no no no,
look out, you're --
174
00:07:52,396 --> 00:07:54,664
Overcompensating.
175
00:07:54,732 --> 00:07:56,633
Is what I was gonna say.
176
00:07:56,700 --> 00:08:02,172
Right before I was thrown clear of the
vehicle, almost exactly one hundred
177
00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:02,905
linear feet.
178
00:08:02,973 --> 00:08:07,377
Gimme a break, huh,
that wasn't my fault!
179
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:10,813
Yeah no, I mean obviously this
was all due to the butterfly effect.
180
00:08:10,881 --> 00:08:14,551
- The what -- - Butterfly effect,
ya know, a butterfly in Africa
181
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:17,654
lands on a giraffe's nose, the
giraffe sneezes, that spooks
182
00:08:17,721 --> 00:08:20,524
a gazelle, the gazelle bonks
into a rhinoceros, and the
183
00:08:20,591 --> 00:08:23,460
rhinoceros blindly stampedes
into a phone booth,
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00:08:23,528 --> 00:08:29,166
calls New York somehow and says "Hey go
kill this idiot Ron for a suitcase!"
185
00:08:29,233 --> 00:08:32,802
Because the rhinoceros speaks English!
186
00:08:32,870 --> 00:08:37,073
What's in the suitcase, Ron?
187
00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:39,509
Why is that in the suitcase, Ron?!
188
00:08:39,577 --> 00:08:41,010
What, I should use a plastic bag?
189
00:08:41,078 --> 00:08:43,413
Or this new thing
called the bank?!
190
00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:46,916
Well, it's not exactly...
Clean, money.
191
00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:47,917
No, shit.
192
00:08:47,985 --> 00:08:53,156
No, I'm serious... Name one, just
one single favor, that Archer ever did
193
00:08:53,224 --> 00:08:53,756
for any of you.
194
00:08:55,726 --> 00:08:56,159
Oh!
195
00:08:56,227 --> 00:08:58,061
Oh my God, chlamydia.
196
00:08:58,128 --> 00:09:00,497
Which put me over my deductible,
so the rest of that year all my
197
00:09:00,565 --> 00:09:02,999
doctor visits were totally free, score!
198
00:09:03,067 --> 00:09:04,267
- Wow.
- Right?
199
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:06,169
How much did you
go to the damn doctor?
200
00:09:06,237 --> 00:09:09,239
I dunno, like, a lot...
I kept getting chlamydia.
201
00:09:09,307 --> 00:09:10,006
Oww!
202
00:09:10,074 --> 00:09:11,908
Get! Off! Chlamydiot!
203
00:09:11,975 --> 00:09:14,811
Oh, I get it...
because of the chlamydia.
204
00:09:14,878 --> 00:09:16,112
Oh, and I'm an idiot.
205
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:18,348
Because of course
you keep getting robbed!
206
00:09:18,416 --> 00:09:20,883
Why're you driving around with a
suitcase full of dirty money?
207
00:09:20,951 --> 00:09:24,421
- It's kind of a long story...
- Well we've got all day!
208
00:09:24,488 --> 00:09:28,692
Nobody's gonna pick us up, we look like...
The Ballad of the Flim-Flam Man.
209
00:09:28,759 --> 00:09:29,326
The what?
210
00:09:29,393 --> 00:09:30,427
Guy Owen?
211
00:09:30,494 --> 00:09:31,528
Jesus, Ron, read a book.
212
00:09:31,596 --> 00:09:34,731
Maybe between biannual
suitcase robberies.
213
00:09:34,798 --> 00:09:36,766
I don't know who
keeps tipping 'em off.
214
00:09:36,834 --> 00:09:38,868
And anyway, you mean semiannual.
215
00:09:38,936 --> 00:09:40,036
They're the same thing!
216
00:09:40,104 --> 00:09:44,441
No, biannual means every two years --
That's biennial!
217
00:09:44,508 --> 00:09:48,211
Bi-, or semi-annual,
means every six months!
218
00:09:48,279 --> 00:09:48,878
Oh.
219
00:09:48,946 --> 00:09:51,581
Then yeah, biannually.
220
00:09:51,649 --> 00:09:53,015
Or semi.
221
00:09:53,083 --> 00:09:57,721
- Speaking of...
- Manhattan, yes, thank you,
222
00:09:57,788 --> 00:09:59,589
and you're sure you can
get us there by seven?
223
00:09:59,624 --> 00:10:00,890
Oh yeah. Just
hop in the back there.
224
00:10:00,958 --> 00:10:03,360
What like, the back back?
225
00:10:03,427 --> 00:10:05,629
Yeah, sorry, you'all
can't ride in the cab.
226
00:10:05,696 --> 00:10:10,367
Insurance bullshit, compliments of
them democratic queers in congress.
227
00:10:10,434 --> 00:10:13,270
Or whomever.
228
00:10:13,337 --> 00:10:15,772
Okay, things are looking up!
229
00:10:15,839 --> 00:10:17,674
No no, hey, c'mon, don't do that!
230
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:18,775
You're gonna get him in trouble!
231
00:10:18,842 --> 00:10:22,211
Ron, nobody's
gonna miss one beer.
232
00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:23,713
Or the eleven more I'm gonna drink.
233
00:10:23,781 --> 00:10:27,350
C'mon, he's an independent trucker...
A small business owner,
234
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:30,587
out here busting his hump to
provide for his family...
235
00:10:30,655 --> 00:10:34,658
I'm tellin ya, guys like him
are the lifeblood of America.
236
00:10:34,725 --> 00:10:38,094
Not to mention he's driving us
non-stop straight to Manhattan.
237
00:10:38,162 --> 00:10:41,164
Exactly, which should
take about three hours.
238
00:10:41,231 --> 00:10:44,167
Which equals twelve beers.
239
00:10:44,234 --> 00:10:46,903
Ugh, okay, here's
your fur coat, from the world's
240
00:10:46,970 --> 00:10:48,672
farthest-away cold storage.
241
00:10:48,739 --> 00:10:51,808
Wh-? Did they tell you
to put it in a headlock?!
242
00:10:51,875 --> 00:10:52,642
No.
243
00:10:52,710 --> 00:10:53,610
Well?!
244
00:10:53,678 --> 00:10:54,544
I don't know!
245
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:56,012
They were like, Persian!
246
00:10:56,802 --> 00:10:57,880
You lost me.
247
00:10:57,948 --> 00:10:59,749
Cadillac's not my real last name.
248
00:10:59,817 --> 00:11:03,886
I -- well yeah, I figured
the odds on that were pretty huge.
249
00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:04,921
I changed it.
250
00:11:04,988 --> 00:11:06,122
From Kazinsky.
251
00:11:06,190 --> 00:11:09,959
And before I sold cars... I stole 'em.
252
00:11:10,027 --> 00:11:10,927
You what?!
253
00:11:10,994 --> 00:11:17,801
I mean, this was years and years ago...
Me, Tony, Donny, Joey
254
00:11:17,868 --> 00:11:19,336
and Fat Mike.
255
00:11:19,403 --> 00:11:23,239
That was my crew. And kiddo,
we'd boost anything on wheels.
256
00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:26,376
Or one time, ya know, not even on wheels.
257
00:11:26,444 --> 00:11:29,312
That was forty-five, though,
that didn't hurt the war effort.
258
00:11:29,380 --> 00:11:33,115
Anyhoo... One day it dawns on
me, we're doin' all this work,
259
00:11:33,183 --> 00:11:38,921
but the guys makin' the real money own
the chop shops... So we revised our
260
00:11:38,989 --> 00:11:40,457
business model.
261
00:11:40,524 --> 00:11:45,695
For a few years, lemme tell ya
kid, we were going gangbusters.
262
00:11:45,763 --> 00:11:50,600
Until one day, I'm out gettin meatball
subs for the crew, and... boom.
263
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:51,300
The cops got all of 'em.
264
00:11:51,369 --> 00:11:53,169
Aw, Fat Mike too?
265
00:11:53,237 --> 00:11:53,877
All of 'em.
266
00:11:53,904 --> 00:11:56,906
And they all got twenty years,
because not one of 'em,
267
00:11:56,974 --> 00:11:59,409
not one of 'em gave me up.
268
00:11:59,477 --> 00:12:03,012
Anyway, I used our stash to buy
a legit used car lot, and then
269
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:06,249
my first dealership, and eventually--
Six, yeah, got it.
270
00:12:06,316 --> 00:12:09,051
- So the money is...
- The least I can do.
271
00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:11,921
It's like back pay, for
all the years they lost.
272
00:12:11,989 --> 00:12:15,992
Plus most of it's from charging poor
saps for that frickin' undercoating.
273
00:12:16,059 --> 00:12:16,926
Never.
274
00:12:16,994 --> 00:12:18,661
Get the undercoating.
275
00:12:18,729 --> 00:12:21,898
But I still don't know who keeps
hiring goons to stick me up.
276
00:12:21,965 --> 00:12:23,032
Yes, you do.
277
00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:24,267
What're you talking about?
278
00:12:24,334 --> 00:12:27,837
Ron, who hasn't been complaining
about not getting his money?
279
00:12:27,905 --> 00:12:31,207
Son of a... Fat Mike!
280
00:12:31,275 --> 00:12:33,209
Wait'll the crew hears this!
281
00:12:33,277 --> 00:12:35,745
He'll be eatin his meatball
subs through a straw.
282
00:12:35,813 --> 00:12:38,381
Wow, and here Mother
thinks you are hands down the
283
00:12:38,449 --> 00:12:41,984
most boringest man on this
entire planet of Earth.
284
00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:43,920
Wh-? She said that?!
285
00:12:43,987 --> 00:12:48,758
- I mean... - He is hands down
the most boringest man on this
286
00:12:48,826 --> 00:12:51,895
entire planet of Earth.
287
00:12:51,962 --> 00:12:54,731
Not in those exact words, but--
She thinks I'm boring?!
288
00:12:54,799 --> 00:12:58,367
Well not after you tell her
you stole a Sherman tank, Master P!
289
00:12:58,436 --> 00:13:00,970
No no no, you can
never tell her about that!
290
00:13:01,038 --> 00:13:03,039
I'm serious, about any of it!
291
00:13:03,106 --> 00:13:05,207
I --
None of it! Do you hear me?!
292
00:13:05,275 --> 00:13:07,043
- Okay!
- That's all behind me!
293
00:13:07,110 --> 00:13:09,712
I'm -- almost completely legit now!
294
00:13:09,780 --> 00:13:11,848
You gotta promise me you're
not going to tell her!
295
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,688
Okay! I promise!
296
00:13:14,132 --> 00:13:16,576
Not that I'll ever get the chance...
297
00:13:17,157 --> 00:13:22,589
Hey guys, if that's, ya know...
how you selfidentify.
298
00:13:26,949 --> 00:13:27,782
Wow.
299
00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:29,783
Okay, so...
300
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:35,548
Apparently we have stumbled
into what I'm just gonna assume is --
301
00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:39,608
-- some kind of unspeakably
rapey snuff film --
302
00:13:40,016 --> 00:13:43,126
yep, look at that, there's even a craft services table...
303
00:13:43,348 --> 00:13:45,656
- But my uh...
- Stepdad.
304
00:13:45,776 --> 00:13:49,271
Mother's husband, has to
be back in time for the opera,
305
00:13:49,391 --> 00:13:52,760
I know, rich people problems,
so even though all you guys
306
00:13:52,828 --> 00:13:56,397
have bats and pipes and --
wow, Shorty over there's got a
307
00:13:56,465 --> 00:14:02,503
club with lumps on it, kickin it Bedrock
style -- does anybody have a gun.
308
00:14:02,571 --> 00:14:04,215
Anybody? Gun?
309
00:14:04,335 --> 00:14:07,993
Probably looks a little
something like this? No?
310
00:14:08,113 --> 00:14:11,144
Okay, so I guess just me then.
311
00:14:11,212 --> 00:14:14,281
Now, for various reasons which
frankly don't concern you,
312
00:14:14,349 --> 00:14:15,416
we can't call the police,
313
00:14:15,484 --> 00:14:17,342
so we're just gonna go, but --
314
00:14:17,462 --> 00:14:19,823
What?!
No no no no no, screw that!
315
00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:21,465
Shoot these degenerate pricks!
316
00:14:21,585 --> 00:14:22,030
Ron?
317
00:14:22,156 --> 00:14:24,690
Starting with C.W. McCall-girl
over there!
318
00:14:24,758 --> 00:14:26,759
- Ron.
- Well at leastkneecap the sonsabitches!
319
00:14:26,826 --> 00:14:28,227
- Ron!
- What?!
320
00:14:28,295 --> 00:14:31,230
What, you outta bullets?!
321
00:14:31,298 --> 00:14:32,698
Well, how the hell was
I supposed to know?!
322
00:14:32,766 --> 00:14:35,668
You saw me shoot the mob guys!
323
00:14:35,735 --> 00:14:38,737
- So?!
- So it holds a finite number of bullets!
324
00:14:38,805 --> 00:14:40,873
It's not a frickin phaser!
325
00:14:40,941 --> 00:14:43,943
A what?
326
00:14:44,010 --> 00:14:47,880
Oh my God! It's just like
Carol said the old gypsy woman said!
327
00:14:47,948 --> 00:14:49,915
Yeah, she said
it would be like some freaky
328
00:14:49,983 --> 00:14:53,752
parallel universe, where John
Waters directed "The Road Warrior"!
329
00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:54,554
Uh-huh.
330
00:14:54,621 --> 00:14:55,921
Then what, they kill me?
331
00:14:55,989 --> 00:15:00,059
No, shut up,
that's the awesome part!
332
00:15:00,127 --> 00:15:03,028
There it is! Look, Ron!
The train!
333
00:15:03,097 --> 00:15:05,198
I gotta start going to that gypsy.
334
00:15:05,265 --> 00:15:10,603
- We'll never... we can't make it...
- Yes we can!
335
00:15:10,670 --> 00:15:14,407
If... dammit, if only there
was a way to slow them down!
336
00:15:14,475 --> 00:15:15,308
Make it rain?
337
00:15:15,375 --> 00:15:16,215
What am I, an Indian?
338
00:15:16,243 --> 00:15:17,676
Pacman Jones!
339
00:15:17,744 --> 00:15:19,778
Oh.
340
00:15:19,846 --> 00:15:20,980
Huh-uh! No!
341
00:15:21,047 --> 00:15:23,516
Yes, Ron! You
don't defy the gypsy!
342
00:15:23,584 --> 00:15:24,624
What about my crew?!
343
00:15:24,651 --> 00:15:26,685
I've been ripped off
the last three times!
344
00:15:26,753 --> 00:15:28,454
What're they supposed to live on?!
345
00:15:28,522 --> 00:15:31,757
What're they gonna live on
if you're eaten by tranny bikers?!
346
00:15:31,825 --> 00:15:33,192
Ron, look!
347
00:15:33,260 --> 00:15:38,364
We'd already be dead if they weren't in...
disturbingly sexy high heels!
348
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,667
Oh, half.
349
00:15:41,735 --> 00:15:43,375
Okay, that's still a baller move.
350
00:15:43,403 --> 00:15:46,939
Master P would totally be proud.
351
00:15:48,675 --> 00:15:50,510
Or he'd release a diss track.
352
00:15:50,577 --> 00:15:52,711
What is it -- half the time
I don't even know what the hell
353
00:15:52,779 --> 00:15:53,846
you're talking about!
354
00:15:53,913 --> 00:15:57,617
Well guess what! Me neither!
355
00:15:57,684 --> 00:16:00,553
That son of a -- Come on,
we've got a train to catch!
356
00:16:00,621 --> 00:16:01,154
Diss tracks.
357
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:03,756
Jesus Christ, why'd we even fight a war?
358
00:16:03,823 --> 00:16:04,323
Ron!
359
00:16:04,324 --> 00:16:05,891
What, I'm serious!
360
00:16:05,959 --> 00:16:08,794
So's this train, asshole!
361
00:16:08,862 --> 00:16:10,129
Oh, I'm the asshole?!
362
00:16:10,197 --> 00:16:12,131
It's -- just get a running start!
363
00:16:12,199 --> 00:16:15,000
I'm not jumping on that damn thing!
364
00:16:15,068 --> 00:16:16,735
Really?!
365
00:16:16,803 --> 00:16:17,537
How bout now?!
366
00:16:17,604 --> 00:16:21,207
Son of a...!
367
00:16:21,275 --> 00:16:25,110
Come on! Run like you're younger!
368
00:16:25,179 --> 00:16:26,546
Okay, now gimme your hand!
369
00:16:26,613 --> 00:16:27,547
I can't!
370
00:16:27,614 --> 00:16:29,048
Yes you can!
371
00:16:29,115 --> 00:16:30,082
Rrrrrrngh!
372
00:16:30,150 --> 00:16:32,785
C'mon grab it, grab it!
373
00:16:32,852 --> 00:16:36,121
- Well now hang on a second...
- What're you doing?!
374
00:16:36,190 --> 00:16:39,525
Thinking about how much I
hate it that Mother married you!
375
00:16:39,593 --> 00:16:42,828
You don't hate it she married me --
No, yeah, I --
376
00:16:42,896 --> 00:16:45,565
you hate it she married anybody!
377
00:16:45,632 --> 00:16:48,267
Cause you want her all to yourself!
378
00:16:48,335 --> 00:16:49,975
- What?!
- Paging Doctor Bates!
379
00:16:50,003 --> 00:16:52,171
Doctor Norman Bates --
Hey shut up!
380
00:16:52,239 --> 00:16:53,972
And also eww!
381
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:59,745
And --
Sterling, please!
382
00:16:59,813 --> 00:17:00,613
Oh my God.
383
00:17:00,681 --> 00:17:01,914
Thank you, Sterling.
384
00:17:01,981 --> 00:17:03,549
You're welcome, shut up.
385
00:17:03,617 --> 00:17:07,920
- Norman Bates. Ya know...
- I apologize, that was out of line.
386
00:17:07,987 --> 00:17:15,428
But come on, you gotta admit the
relationship you two have is... unhealthy.
387
00:17:15,495 --> 00:17:19,865
No, Ron, I don't have
to admit that, because --
388
00:17:19,933 --> 00:17:23,168
Okay, try not to ruin it this time.
389
00:17:24,904 --> 00:17:26,706
Waaaaaaaooof!
390
00:17:26,773 --> 00:17:29,208
- Jesus...
- Yeah, you see how their legs broke?
391
00:17:29,276 --> 00:17:31,510
That's because they didn't
use the parachute fall.
392
00:17:31,578 --> 00:17:33,679
Which I don't have time to
teach you properly, but --
393
00:17:33,747 --> 00:17:34,580
Why would you want to?
394
00:17:34,648 --> 00:17:37,250
I -- because I
take pride in my work?
395
00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:39,952
Why would you teach
it to me it at all?!
396
00:17:40,019 --> 00:17:41,787
Oh. We gotta jump off the train.
397
00:17:41,855 --> 00:17:44,490
RON Wh-?! We just jumped on the train!
398
00:17:44,558 --> 00:17:46,726
Yeah, and it's going
about twenty miles an hour, and
399
00:17:46,793 --> 00:17:50,896
there goes a sign for Catskill, so --
So it'll take six hours to get home.
400
00:17:50,964 --> 00:17:54,032
If we don't get
rousted by the bulls.
401
00:17:54,100 --> 00:17:56,302
I also don't have time to
teach you how to speak hobo.
402
00:17:56,370 --> 00:18:00,239
But wait a minute, hang on, why
would you want me to make the opera?
403
00:18:00,307 --> 00:18:02,941
I dunno, maybe you
were right about a few things,
404
00:18:03,009 --> 00:18:06,679
and maybe you're good for Mother, and...
maybe shut up
405
00:18:06,747 --> 00:18:08,648
before I lose my temper again.
406
00:18:08,715 --> 00:18:11,850
- I got a dealership in Catskill...
- So we grab a Caddy
407
00:18:11,918 --> 00:18:12,918
and drive in style.
408
00:18:12,986 --> 00:18:16,622
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we could just make it...
But it's going too fast to jump off!
409
00:18:16,690 --> 00:18:18,090
Look at those poles zipping by!
410
00:18:18,158 --> 00:18:19,759
No, no, no, don't
look at the poles!
411
00:18:19,826 --> 00:18:21,494
They give you a false perspective!
412
00:18:21,561 --> 00:18:28,200
Try and focus on a distant
landmark, like -- The ground.
413
00:18:28,268 --> 00:18:30,569
Woooooooo!
414
00:18:30,637 --> 00:18:33,372
Hey! See how I did that?
415
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:36,942
Ron?
416
00:18:37,010 --> 00:18:38,877
Seven-thirty! We just might make it!
417
00:18:38,945 --> 00:18:39,812
You sure he'll be out there?
418
00:18:39,879 --> 00:18:41,914
He better be.
419
00:18:41,981 --> 00:18:46,485
- Yeah, there he is...
- Here you go, sir.
420
00:18:46,553 --> 00:18:47,986
I took the liberty of taking in
421
00:18:48,054 --> 00:18:49,555
the jacket a bit, and --
422
00:18:49,623 --> 00:18:50,623
- Woodhouse.
- Yessir?
423
00:18:50,691 --> 00:18:52,692
Doesn't even come close
to making up for leaving me
424
00:18:52,759 --> 00:18:54,092
stranded in Montreal.
425
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:55,227
No sir.
426
00:18:55,295 --> 00:18:56,595
So go get ready.
427
00:18:56,663 --> 00:19:00,132
Your punishment will begin when I get
back from dropping him off at the opera.
428
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,234
Wait, you think that's a good idea?
429
00:19:02,302 --> 00:19:03,035
Ron?
430
00:19:03,102 --> 00:19:06,138
Look, I know we accidentally
bonded a little, but do not
431
00:19:06,206 --> 00:19:08,607
tell me how to discipline my servant!
432
00:19:08,675 --> 00:19:09,835
I meant dropping me off.
433
00:19:09,876 --> 00:19:16,582
- If your mother thinks we're all buddy-buddy...
- Yeah, that would drive her insane...
434
00:19:19,519 --> 00:19:22,287
Sometimes I think
I should just run away.
435
00:19:22,356 --> 00:19:24,189
But who would take me in?
436
00:19:24,257 --> 00:19:27,893
No one, Woodhouse... no one.
437
00:19:27,961 --> 00:19:30,730
And just what
in the hell is this?
438
00:19:30,797 --> 00:19:32,631
Just dropping off my buddy Ron!
439
00:19:32,699 --> 00:19:33,399
Buddy?!
440
00:19:33,467 --> 00:19:35,968
Why, how, and since when?!
441
00:19:36,035 --> 00:19:39,171
Long story babe, and look,
we really gotta hustle if we
442
00:19:39,239 --> 00:19:40,506
wanna make that curtain!
443
00:19:40,574 --> 00:19:45,544
Yeah, and I gotta go make an
old man eat a big bowl of spiderwebs.
444
00:19:45,612 --> 00:19:49,448
See ya buddy!
445
00:19:51,485 --> 00:19:57,573
Duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh...
446
00:19:57,693 --> 00:20:05,343
Duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh...
447
00:20:06,462 --> 00:20:09,835
Woodhouse, I'm gonna check that bowl!
448
00:20:15,157 --> 00:20:16,219
Good day.
449
00:20:16,611 --> 00:20:26,747
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com