1
00:00:07,867 --> 00:00:10,603
Okay kids, who
wants Manning Coleslaw?
2
00:00:10,895 --> 00:00:14,919
And/or an explanation of why that's...
3
00:00:15,290 --> 00:00:16,351
funny.
4
00:00:16,471 --> 00:00:18,647
Sorry, guys, we're, um...
5
00:00:20,263 --> 00:00:21,670
closed, yeah.
6
00:00:21,790 --> 00:00:24,287
Thanks for getting aside from me because
7
00:00:24,407 --> 00:00:25,519
we are closed.
8
00:00:25,639 --> 00:00:28,284
Especially now that the door is locked.
9
00:00:28,566 --> 00:00:31,356
And you're not really supposed
to be back here.
10
00:00:31,476 --> 00:00:33,381
Even if you have a, a...
11
00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:35,564
- I was gonna say a hairnet.
- Bob?
12
00:00:35,853 --> 00:00:37,664
- Is everything...
- Everything's fine, we're...
13
00:00:37,715 --> 00:00:39,049
- Closed, Bob...
- Linda!
14
00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:41,740
Take the kids in the back.
Kids, go in the back with your mom.
15
00:00:42,787 --> 00:00:44,294
Not really want.
16
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:46,899
*** goes Linda, now would you please
go in the goddamn back?
17
00:00:46,918 --> 00:00:49,214
Well, excuse me, ***.
18
00:00:49,735 --> 00:00:52,917
Look, the hamburger wasn't a big seller,
so there's not much.
19
00:00:53,037 --> 00:00:55,240
- But um...
- We don't want money.
20
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:56,595
We want you.
21
00:00:56,715 --> 00:00:59,347
- I'm sorry?
- We are not robbers.
22
00:00:59,467 --> 00:01:02,747
Oh, my god. Okay, yes,
you can rob them, but...
23
00:01:02,867 --> 00:01:04,354
just please don't hurt my family.
24
00:01:04,474 --> 00:01:06,709
- We're not robbers.
- Oh.
25
00:01:06,829 --> 00:01:09,437
- Well, then, what do you want?
- You.
26
00:01:10,034 --> 00:01:12,059
- ***.
- Da.
27
00:01:12,179 --> 00:01:13,912
Wh-? No!
28
00:01:27,260 --> 00:01:30,029
Ty sukin syn, ISIS shpion!
29
00:01:30,098 --> 00:01:34,601
Even if you kill us,
more will come, Archer!
30
00:01:34,670 --> 00:01:35,602
Khorosho!
31
00:01:35,671 --> 00:01:38,237
Ya ih toje zamochu togda!
32
00:01:41,708 --> 00:01:42,508
Bob!
33
00:01:42,577 --> 00:01:44,610
Oh my God, are you guys okay?!
34
00:01:44,679 --> 00:01:47,813
We -- yeah, we're -- but... Bob!
35
00:01:47,882 --> 00:01:49,482
Where'd you learn how to do that?!
36
00:01:49,551 --> 00:01:52,619
I -- I dunno,
it was like, instinct.
37
00:01:52,688 --> 00:01:54,054
And were you speaking Russian?!
38
00:01:54,123 --> 00:01:54,888
Was I?
39
00:01:54,957 --> 00:01:57,125
But I don't even know any -- Russian!
40
00:01:57,194 --> 00:02:00,128
Look, the label in his coat has
those idiot Russian letters!
41
00:02:00,197 --> 00:02:01,997
Why the hell are
Russians trying to kill you?!
42
00:02:02,065 --> 00:02:03,065
I don't know!
43
00:02:03,133 --> 00:02:05,567
He called me "Archer," maybe
they think I'm somebody else...
44
00:02:05,636 --> 00:02:07,570
Somebody who gambles?!
45
00:02:07,638 --> 00:02:08,971
When would I gamble, Linda?!
46
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:10,706
The six hours a night I get to sleep?!
47
00:02:10,775 --> 00:02:14,610
Because the other eighteen hours, I'm
slaving over this hot-ass grill!
48
00:02:14,679 --> 00:02:16,514
I didn't know it was
such a burden...
49
00:02:16,634 --> 00:02:19,349
Wh-? Of course it's a burden!
50
00:02:19,417 --> 00:02:23,020
Don't get me wrong, I love you guys,
but come on...I've been here two months,
51
00:02:23,088 --> 00:02:25,723
it feels like two... trillion eons.
52
00:02:25,791 --> 00:02:30,027
Well if that's the way you -- what
are you doing, you're not leaving?!
53
00:02:30,096 --> 00:02:31,095
Linda, you heard him!
54
00:02:31,164 --> 00:02:33,031
Whoever they are, he
said they'd keep coming!
55
00:02:33,099 --> 00:02:34,566
You guys aren't safe if I'm around!
56
00:02:34,634 --> 00:02:36,902
- But Bobby...
- No buts.
57
00:02:36,970 --> 00:02:38,503
I'm not gonna let you guys get hurt.
58
00:02:38,572 --> 00:02:41,239
What I am gonna do, is find out
who this Archer jerk is, and
59
00:02:41,308 --> 00:02:43,909
why Russian people want him dead.
60
00:02:43,977 --> 00:02:46,044
I'm also probably gonna do a spa weekend.
61
00:02:46,113 --> 00:02:51,182
Between work and being a stepdad
to Gene and Louise and, um...
62
00:02:51,251 --> 00:02:53,051
anyway, I am just burned out.
63
00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:57,322
So take care, and I'll call after I
solve this mystery, or whatever.
64
00:02:57,390 --> 00:03:00,758
Oh, and I forgot to tell you the health
inspector's coming at eight A.M.,
65
00:03:00,827 --> 00:03:04,096
so you better break out the purple stuff.
66
00:03:25,514 --> 00:03:36,354
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
67
00:03:39,473 --> 00:03:43,577
I'm sorry, I'm sure I misheard you...
Sterling has been
68
00:03:43,646 --> 00:03:47,448
missing for two months, we've spent God
knows how many thousands of dollars and
69
00:03:47,517 --> 00:03:51,318
manhours searching for him,
and this whole time he's just
70
00:03:51,438 --> 00:03:53,853
down at the shore flipping hamburgers?
71
00:03:53,973 --> 00:03:55,605
You know another kind of burger?
72
00:03:55,725 --> 00:03:57,407
Ostrich. Shut up, they're good.
73
00:03:57,527 --> 00:03:59,136
- Shut up!
- Yes, shut up!
74
00:03:59,368 --> 00:04:02,195
Then explain to me
if you know where Sterling is.
75
00:04:02,315 --> 00:04:03,150
Was.
76
00:04:03,270 --> 00:04:04,706
Oh, according to our intel,
77
00:04:04,826 --> 00:04:07,632
he was tracked down by a KGB hit squad.
78
00:04:07,908 --> 00:04:10,118
- Oh my God!
- Sorry.
79
00:04:10,238 --> 00:04:13,060
I should have started that with
"Archer is fine".
80
00:04:13,180 --> 00:04:14,612
The KGB hit squad...
81
00:04:14,847 --> 00:04:16,785
Oh my God!
82
00:04:16,905 --> 00:04:18,945
- Not so much.
- My God!
83
00:04:19,258 --> 00:04:22,123
- But, so, where is he now?
- At a spa.
84
00:04:22,243 --> 00:04:25,123
According to his...um, wife.
85
00:04:25,243 --> 00:04:27,367
His what?
86
00:04:27,487 --> 00:04:30,046
Linda. She said he's name was Bob.
87
00:04:30,166 --> 00:04:33,482
He wandered in there in full morning dress
2 months ago, they got married,
88
00:04:33,602 --> 00:04:35,778
Married? The minute they met?
89
00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:37,855
- Who does that?
- Ostriches.
90
00:04:37,975 --> 00:04:38,855
Son of a...
91
00:04:39,114 --> 00:04:41,750
He's obviously doing this
just to get even with me.
92
00:04:41,870 --> 00:04:44,688
Normally, I would agree, but after
talking to the wife,
93
00:04:44,808 --> 00:04:46,427
I honestly think Archer
94
00:04:46,547 --> 00:04:48,150
doesn't know he's Archer.
95
00:04:48,270 --> 00:04:50,273
How could he not know who he is?
96
00:04:50,327 --> 00:04:52,529
Psychogenic retrograde amnesia.
97
00:04:52,649 --> 00:04:54,459
Also known as a fluke statement,
98
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:57,721
sometimes triggered by extreme
emotional or psychological stress.
99
00:04:57,841 --> 00:05:02,881
- And we all know what caused that!
- Yes, his hatred of seeing me happy.
100
00:05:03,001 --> 00:05:04,849
Now take me to that spa!
101
00:05:04,969 --> 00:05:07,666
And we'll just see how
this amnesia holds up
102
00:05:07,786 --> 00:05:11,999
against a sudden and quite possibly
violent confrontation with his mother.
103
00:05:12,119 --> 00:05:14,480
Ba-ba-ba-ba...
104
00:05:14,719 --> 00:05:15,509
Bad idea!
105
00:05:15,629 --> 00:05:18,536
According to my clinical research
on drug induced amnesia...
106
00:05:18,656 --> 00:05:19,926
Said the fake scientist...
107
00:05:20,046 --> 00:05:22,937
- Hmm, and what are your parents' names?
- What?
108
00:05:23,159 --> 00:05:24,320
Their names are...
109
00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,456
um, uh...
110
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:28,954
Damn it, Krieger, did you drug me?
111
00:05:29,074 --> 00:05:30,312
You don't remember?
112
00:05:30,570 --> 00:05:33,495
Wow, memory is such a fragile thing.
113
00:05:33,615 --> 00:05:36,859
And if Archer's real identity
is exposed to him too suddenly,
114
00:05:36,979 --> 00:05:39,383
his mind may reject it permanently.
115
00:05:39,503 --> 00:05:41,293
We have to ease him back into it,
116
00:05:41,413 --> 00:05:43,089
like a latex gimp suit.
117
00:05:43,209 --> 00:05:44,905
And how do you suggest we do that?
118
00:05:45,025 --> 00:05:47,086
Well, some people use baby powder.
119
00:05:47,206 --> 00:05:48,606
I'm a firm believer in corn starch.
120
00:05:48,710 --> 00:05:50,133
Not the gimp suit!
121
00:05:50,253 --> 00:05:52,263
- Sterling's amnesia!
- Oh.
122
00:05:52,383 --> 00:05:54,287
Yes, I have a plant.
123
00:05:54,915 --> 00:05:56,051
Plant?
124
00:05:56,286 --> 00:05:57,051
Plan.
125
00:05:57,483 --> 00:05:58,458
I'm serious.
126
00:05:58,578 --> 00:06:01,506
I want it on record that I think
this is a terrible plan.
127
00:06:01,626 --> 00:06:03,681
Duly noted and disregarded.
128
00:06:03,801 --> 00:06:06,287
And I expect you to be totally convincing.
129
00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:07,867
As the damsel in distress?
130
00:06:07,987 --> 00:06:10,905
Have you ever met a woman less damsel-y?
131
00:06:11,025 --> 00:06:13,253
Pam. And it's not you I'm worried about.
132
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,184
It's our pathetic villains.
133
00:06:15,304 --> 00:06:17,295
Guys! Fake mustache, yay or nay?
134
00:06:17,415 --> 00:06:19,301
- Yay!
- Yeah, it works, right?
135
00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:22,498
My face isn't a naturally
villainous like yours, so...
136
00:06:22,618 --> 00:06:25,675
Here's an idea, why don't you just
saw your goddamn head off?
137
00:06:25,795 --> 00:06:27,335
Geez, what's up your butt?
138
00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:29,150
Nothing is up my butt, Cyril.
139
00:06:29,270 --> 00:06:31,191
Oh, or maybe there is.
I wouldn't know.
140
00:06:31,311 --> 00:06:35,034
Because I'm paralyzed from waist down
and it's Archer's fault!
141
00:06:35,154 --> 00:06:37,812
So, getting some mileage on to that, huh?
142
00:06:37,932 --> 00:06:40,705
Ugh, now damsel up and get over there.
143
00:06:40,825 --> 00:06:43,855
And remember, you have to pretend
you don't have a history together.
144
00:06:43,975 --> 00:06:47,275
For the...Sour mix?
145
00:06:47,395 --> 00:06:48,514
In a margarita?
146
00:06:48,634 --> 00:06:50,761
What is this? Auschwitz?
147
00:06:51,487 --> 00:06:52,969
I always do.
148
00:06:53,561 --> 00:06:56,129
Like a big brown giraffe.
149
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:59,055
Uh, or an ostrich.
150
00:06:59,175 --> 00:07:01,833
Remind me why I let you idiots come.
151
00:07:01,953 --> 00:07:03,006
For the free rooms?
152
00:07:03,126 --> 00:07:05,276
Cause the only thing you are more than mean
is cheap.
153
00:07:05,396 --> 00:07:06,041
Shut up.
154
00:07:06,263 --> 00:07:08,152
And just because you own this place...
155
00:07:08,272 --> 00:07:09,793
I think I just own the conglomerate
156
00:07:09,913 --> 00:07:12,448
that owns the holding company
that owns the hotel chain that owns it.
157
00:07:12,568 --> 00:07:16,770
Don't even think about screwing up our plan
to cure Sterling's amnesia.
158
00:07:16,890 --> 00:07:17,619
His what?
159
00:07:17,739 --> 00:07:19,977
Five ingredients: tequila,
160
00:07:20,097 --> 00:07:23,876
cointreau, lime juice, ice, koja salt.
161
00:07:23,996 --> 00:07:28,170
Oh, and sorry about the Auschwitz crack.
That's not like me.
162
00:07:28,290 --> 00:07:29,564
I've been under a lot of stress lately.
163
00:07:29,684 --> 00:07:31,725
- I'm not Jewish.
- Did I ask for your life story?
164
00:07:31,845 --> 00:07:33,964
Excuse me, is this seat taken?
165
00:07:34,084 --> 00:07:35,371
Yes. No.
166
00:07:35,491 --> 00:07:37,495
I mean, um, please,
167
00:07:37,615 --> 00:07:40,135
feel free...to...always...do...that.
168
00:07:40,255 --> 00:07:42,071
- Hi, I'm Bob.
- Lana Kane.
169
00:07:42,191 --> 00:07:45,244
And thanks. I just need to rest a minute.
I've been on the run, I mean,
170
00:07:45,364 --> 00:07:47,766
- on the go, and..
- Wait...
171
00:07:47,886 --> 00:07:50,145
- You're on the run too?
- No, I...
172
00:07:50,265 --> 00:07:51,558
Forget I said that.
173
00:07:51,678 --> 00:07:53,510
It's dangerous, and you're married.
174
00:07:53,630 --> 00:07:55,325
- And...
- What, this? No, this...
175
00:07:55,445 --> 00:07:58,508
This is fake, I just wear it
to fend off the cougars.
176
00:07:58,628 --> 00:08:00,866
Like her. She's totally checking me out.
177
00:08:00,986 --> 00:08:02,619
- Eww.
- Ew.
178
00:08:02,739 --> 00:08:04,730
Right? So why are you on the run?
179
00:08:04,850 --> 00:08:06,598
Bob,
180
00:08:06,718 --> 00:08:09,080
have you ever heard of ISIS?
181
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:12,097
From the Shazam/Isis Hour TV show?
182
00:08:12,217 --> 00:08:14,228
- No, the...
- Remember Shazam?
183
00:08:14,348 --> 00:08:17,432
Wait, who's the actor that
played Billy Batson? Remember, he'd go...
184
00:08:17,552 --> 00:08:19,338
- Shazaaaaam!
- Arch...Bob!
185
00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:20,828
- What?
- ISIS!
186
00:08:20,948 --> 00:08:24,060
Is the International Secret
Intelligence Service
187
00:08:24,180 --> 00:08:26,627
and I'm one of, oh, frankly,
188
00:08:26,747 --> 00:08:27,749
I'm their best agent.
189
00:08:27,869 --> 00:08:30,020
And KGB agents are trying to kill me.
190
00:08:30,140 --> 00:08:31,265
Huh. Me too!
191
00:08:31,385 --> 00:08:33,635
Wait, I wonder if it's related
to your thing.
192
00:08:34,029 --> 00:08:36,251
Wait, why are you at the same spa as me?
193
00:08:36,371 --> 00:08:38,103
I, uh...
194
00:08:38,223 --> 00:08:41,225
Not even the best agent of this pool.
195
00:08:41,345 --> 00:08:43,205
Seriously, how are we both at...
196
00:08:43,325 --> 00:08:45,744
I think I see a KGB agent! Kiss me!
197
00:08:51,486 --> 00:08:53,461
Okay, he's gone.
198
00:08:55,153 --> 00:08:58,959
- Glad I could help...
- I could use more help.
199
00:08:59,028 --> 00:09:01,528
But I have to warn you,
it could be dangerous.
200
00:09:01,597 --> 00:09:04,631
For you, Lana, I will
take the highway right into the
201
00:09:04,700 --> 00:09:06,500
danger zo - oh my God!
202
00:09:06,568 --> 00:09:07,100
What?!
203
00:09:07,169 --> 00:09:08,568
Michael Gray!
204
00:09:08,637 --> 00:09:09,736
Was Billy Batson.
205
00:09:09,805 --> 00:09:11,904
On Shazam.
206
00:09:13,851 --> 00:09:18,054
Krieger, I'm really having second
thoughts about your so-called plan.
207
00:09:18,123 --> 00:09:19,222
Give it time!
208
00:09:19,291 --> 00:09:21,825
This isn't "The Flintstones",
we can't just whang him in the
209
00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:23,159
head with a frying pan!
210
00:09:23,228 --> 00:09:23,960
How bout a bullet?
211
00:09:24,029 --> 00:09:24,661
Burn.
212
00:09:24,729 --> 00:09:26,462
Oh give it a rest, Ironsides.
213
00:09:26,531 --> 00:09:27,263
Burn.
214
00:09:27,332 --> 00:09:29,131
And please! Focus!
215
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:33,470
Sorry, I'm trying, it's just...
TEC-9's are awesome!
216
00:09:33,539 --> 00:09:37,508
[ Brrrrrrrrrrrrrt! ]
217
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,511
Wait, how'd I know these
are called TEC-9's?
218
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,881
Uh, well --
Remember, ease him into it!
219
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:44,249
Like a --
Enough!
220
00:09:44,318 --> 00:09:44,950
With the gimp suits!
221
00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:46,485
Will you shut up?!
222
00:09:46,554 --> 00:09:47,353
Sorry.
223
00:09:47,422 --> 00:09:50,056
Sorry, it's just I don't know
what's happening, this is all crazy.
224
00:09:50,124 --> 00:09:52,491
I'm a fry-cook, but I
know all about guns?
225
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:55,695
Russian spies who think my name
is Archer are trying to kill me?
226
00:09:55,764 --> 00:09:57,030
I speak Russian?
227
00:09:57,099 --> 00:10:00,500
Oh, and plus I'm a total
badass at hand-to-hand combat?
228
00:10:00,569 --> 00:10:01,267
Pff.
229
00:10:01,336 --> 00:10:04,071
No, seriously, I'm
like Chuck Norris-esque.
230
00:10:04,140 --> 00:10:05,739
Okay, hit me.
231
00:10:05,808 --> 00:10:06,406
What?
232
00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:08,208
Right here, take your best shot.
233
00:10:08,277 --> 00:10:09,176
I'm not gonna hit you.
234
00:10:09,245 --> 00:10:11,579
Why, is your vagina bothering you?
235
00:10:11,648 --> 00:10:12,280
Okay.
236
00:10:12,349 --> 00:10:13,448
I see what you're doing.
237
00:10:13,516 --> 00:10:15,316
But I warned you.
238
00:10:15,384 --> 00:10:20,721
Hiiiiii --
Ya.
239
00:10:20,790 --> 00:10:22,456
I think you literally broke my heart.
240
00:10:22,525 --> 00:10:24,492
- Aww...
- Shut up.
241
00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:26,093
Sorry.
242
00:10:26,162 --> 00:10:28,899
So yeah, wow, maybe I'm not as
good as I thought...
243
00:10:29,019 --> 00:10:32,866
Duh. Okay, the first thing we need to
do is search the entire spa for --
244
00:10:32,935 --> 00:10:34,301
An ice machine, totally, yes.
245
00:10:34,369 --> 00:10:35,702
KGB agents.
246
00:10:35,771 --> 00:10:38,071
Specifically these two.
247
00:10:38,140 --> 00:10:40,240
Did you say gay-GB?
248
00:10:40,309 --> 00:10:42,408
- Aww...
- Think it's the mustache?
249
00:10:42,477 --> 00:10:43,309
It's not helping.
250
00:10:43,378 --> 00:10:45,745
Well neither are you, so --
To reiterate!
251
00:10:45,814 --> 00:10:46,545
I am paralyzed!
252
00:10:46,614 --> 00:10:47,179
Well?!
253
00:10:47,248 --> 00:10:48,547
Join a support group!
254
00:10:48,616 --> 00:10:51,216
For who, crippled
gay hillbilly spies?
255
00:10:51,285 --> 00:10:52,618
[huge, weary sigh]
256
00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:53,819
There's a niche.
257
00:10:53,888 --> 00:10:55,220
Alright you two, you're on.
258
00:10:55,289 --> 00:10:58,857
So try, against all odds,
not to cock it up.
259
00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:01,259
Speaking of, you see the
bulge on that towel boy?
260
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:04,129
Man, if I was you I'd be at
this spa twenty-five-eight.
261
00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:07,365
Yeah, but then I wouldn't
get to hang out with everybody at work.
262
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:09,267
You hate everybody at work.
263
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:10,301
I know.
264
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:12,570
It's the only thing that gets
me out of bed every morning.
265
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:13,804
The hatred.
266
00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:14,539
Yes, Pam.
267
00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:15,907
The hatred.
268
00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:18,943
[ contented sigh ]
269
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:22,914
Man, this spy stuff is awesome,
and I bet I'd be totally awesome at it,
270
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:24,616
so is ISIS hiring, or...?
271
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:25,617
No.
272
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,852
What, is it weird
because we kissed?
273
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:32,022
That was weird, and also not a real
kiss, and also never happening again.
274
00:11:32,091 --> 00:11:33,323
Oh, I get it.
275
00:11:33,392 --> 00:11:34,758
You're not into guys.
276
00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:38,629
O.K. so -- Just because I don't
wanna bang you, automatically I'm a
277
00:11:38,697 --> 00:11:39,463
lesbian?
278
00:11:39,531 --> 00:11:42,399
Yes, well, that
and your Hulk hands.
279
00:11:42,468 --> 00:11:45,903
I do not, have --
She-Hulk, then, whatever, they're --
280
00:11:45,971 --> 00:11:46,904
Arch -- Bob!
281
00:11:46,972 --> 00:11:48,805
What, Jennifer Walters.
282
00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:51,208
Alter-ego of She-Hulk, what.
283
00:11:51,276 --> 00:11:53,042
KGB agents, twelve o'clock.
284
00:11:53,111 --> 00:11:53,611
Wh-?
285
00:11:53,645 --> 00:11:56,612
Dunt move a
mussels, Amerikyetskis!
286
00:11:56,681 --> 00:11:59,248
And, wait, how
are they a superpower?
287
00:11:59,317 --> 00:12:02,384
Oh no, kepitalist
spy get drup on us!
288
00:12:02,453 --> 00:12:05,587
Okay, KGB agents, I want
you to reach into your jackets
289
00:12:05,655 --> 00:12:09,090
very slowly and --
Drup your weapons!
290
00:12:09,159 --> 00:12:10,792
Oh, shit.
291
00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:13,828
And prepare
to die, Sterling Archer!
292
00:12:13,897 --> 00:12:15,964
Jesus, Mary and Joseph Stalin!
293
00:12:16,033 --> 00:12:24,040
For the last time, assholes,
my name is -- Shazaaaaaaaaaam!
294
00:12:24,108 --> 00:12:27,610
How do you not
remember that show?
295
00:12:31,268 --> 00:12:33,702
So, uh, what's the plan here?
296
00:12:33,771 --> 00:12:35,337
I don't have a plan!
297
00:12:35,406 --> 00:12:37,472
Because those guys are the real KGB!
298
00:12:37,541 --> 00:12:39,774
What, as opposed
to the fake KGB?!
299
00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:42,009
Actually yes, and also --
300
00:12:44,046 --> 00:12:45,012
Fake bullets!
301
00:12:45,081 --> 00:12:47,515
What?!
302
00:12:47,584 --> 00:12:49,150
Why do we have fake bullets?!
303
00:12:49,219 --> 00:12:49,851
Yeah, Krieger!
304
00:12:49,919 --> 00:12:50,752
Why do we?!
305
00:12:50,821 --> 00:12:53,388
No no no, you don't know my--
Why do you know the KGB
306
00:12:53,457 --> 00:12:54,422
guy's name?!
307
00:12:54,491 --> 00:12:56,391
Ugh, because --
Bup bup bup bup bup!
308
00:12:56,460 --> 00:12:57,292
Gimp suit!
309
00:12:57,361 --> 00:13:00,563
Unless... oh my God, you're KGB!
310
00:13:00,632 --> 00:13:04,901
Oh for -- if I'm KGB why
is the KGB shooting at me?!
311
00:13:04,970 --> 00:13:07,671
Internal power struggle?
312
00:13:07,740 --> 00:13:09,272
Dammit! Ray!
313
00:13:09,341 --> 00:13:11,040
Ray, we are Code Zulu!
314
00:13:11,109 --> 00:13:12,341
Code Zulu?
315
00:13:12,410 --> 00:13:13,810
She knows better than that.
316
00:13:13,878 --> 00:13:16,212
Code Zulu is only for real emergencies.
317
00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:17,179
Raaaaay!
318
00:13:17,248 --> 00:13:18,714
Yeah, she's
laying it on pretty thick.
319
00:13:18,783 --> 00:13:20,416
Well, you're in charge here.
320
00:13:20,485 --> 00:13:22,285
I'm off to get a seaweed wrap.
321
00:13:22,353 --> 00:13:24,086
Didn't know they
made sushi with dried clams.
322
00:13:24,155 --> 00:13:24,887
What was that?!
323
00:13:24,956 --> 00:13:27,390
The real KG --
What was that?
324
00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:30,993
I can't hear you over the
sound of mlah blah blah.
325
00:13:31,062 --> 00:13:31,927
Ray?!
326
00:13:31,996 --> 00:13:32,895
Ray!
327
00:13:32,964 --> 00:13:34,630
What the hell is that sound?
328
00:13:34,698 --> 00:13:37,566
Hamilton Beach 727 DrinkMaster.
329
00:13:37,635 --> 00:13:40,569
- And speaking of drinks...
- These aren't to drink, dumbass!
330
00:13:40,638 --> 00:13:42,271
I'm gonna make Molotov cocktails!
331
00:13:42,340 --> 00:13:43,672
Not with Irish cream you're not.
332
00:13:43,741 --> 00:13:46,442
Will you -- Bob!
333
00:13:46,510 --> 00:13:47,776
Oh my God.
334
00:13:47,845 --> 00:13:50,246
Yeah, it's pretty thick.
335
00:13:50,314 --> 00:13:50,946
Krieger!
336
00:13:51,015 --> 00:13:52,015
We need suppressing fire!
337
00:13:52,049 --> 00:13:52,569
Wh-?
338
00:13:52,617 --> 00:13:54,416
We're shooting blanks, duh!
339
00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:55,317
They don't know that!
340
00:13:55,386 --> 00:13:56,151
Duh!
341
00:13:56,220 --> 00:14:02,091
Burn... Inappropriate,
suppressing fiiiiiire!
342
00:14:02,159 --> 00:14:02,725
Great!
343
00:14:02,794 --> 00:14:07,763
Just buy us some time, so--
So, I have a question...
344
00:14:07,832 --> 00:14:11,067
- Why did you rip off my shirt...
- To make the fuses, duh.
345
00:14:11,135 --> 00:14:14,103
When there's a huge stack of
bar towels right freaking there!
346
00:14:14,172 --> 00:14:15,771
Oh. Duh.
347
00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:19,776
And, follow-up, why did you
also rip off my bikini top?!
348
00:14:19,845 --> 00:14:21,177
For the slingshot.
349
00:14:21,246 --> 00:14:21,845
Wh-?!
350
00:14:21,914 --> 00:14:25,683
See, we put the bottle in
the, whatever, the boob cups, and --
351
00:14:25,752 --> 00:14:27,518
Just throw the damn thing!
352
00:14:27,587 --> 00:14:29,786
Oh my God, double-duh!
353
00:14:29,855 --> 00:14:31,155
Right? Huh?
354
00:14:31,223 --> 00:14:32,923
Zahodi s boku!
355
00:14:32,991 --> 00:14:34,557
Dammit, they're gonna flank us!
356
00:14:34,626 --> 00:14:36,560
So you wanna throw that today, or...?
357
00:14:36,628 --> 00:14:39,295
No, now I feel bad for
setting your bikini on fire.
358
00:14:39,364 --> 00:14:40,096
Here, hold this.
359
00:14:40,165 --> 00:14:40,730
Wh-?
360
00:14:40,799 --> 00:14:43,866
I don't wanna hold the damn --
Yeah, I think that works--
361
00:14:43,935 --> 00:14:48,370
- whoa, I am getting some major déjà vu here...
- It's not déjà vu,
362
00:14:48,439 --> 00:14:49,638
you idiot!
363
00:14:49,707 --> 00:14:51,073
Well however you pronounce it!
364
00:14:51,142 --> 00:14:52,341
Rrrgh!
365
00:14:52,410 --> 00:14:54,711
Koktyiel Molotova!
366
00:14:54,779 --> 00:14:55,878
Whoooo!
367
00:14:55,947 --> 00:14:57,380
Did you see that?!
368
00:14:57,449 --> 00:15:00,550
Yes! Here, keep throwing them!
369
00:15:00,619 --> 00:15:01,885
Whoooo!
370
00:15:01,953 --> 00:15:03,620
Another one!
371
00:15:03,689 --> 00:15:09,192
- Wait, wait a minute...
- What in the... is that smoke?
372
00:15:09,260 --> 00:15:09,859
Duh.
373
00:15:09,928 --> 00:15:10,460
Wh-?
374
00:15:10,528 --> 00:15:11,894
Are you out of your mind?!
375
00:15:11,963 --> 00:15:12,895
Damn near.
376
00:15:12,964 --> 00:15:16,199
This shit is el crónico.
377
00:15:16,268 --> 00:15:18,701
Gracias, Julio, you are the man.
378
00:15:18,770 --> 00:15:20,670
And you are also fired.
379
00:15:20,739 --> 00:15:21,779
- What?!
- Que?!
380
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:23,473
I'm sorry, but
all of my companies have a
381
00:15:23,542 --> 00:15:25,842
zero-tolerance drug policy.
382
00:15:25,910 --> 00:15:28,611
You hypocrite cooze, I just
watched you eat a whole bag of
383
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:30,246
LSD gummi bears!
384
00:15:30,315 --> 00:15:32,048
Right?
385
00:15:32,117 --> 00:15:34,551
And I am tripping bear balls!
386
00:15:34,619 --> 00:15:37,120
I'm kidding, Julio, you're not fired.
387
00:15:37,189 --> 00:15:39,256
In fact, I'm making you the new GM.
388
00:15:39,325 --> 00:15:40,958
- Aww...
- General manager?!
389
00:15:41,026 --> 00:15:41,792
Of the spa?!
390
00:15:41,861 --> 00:15:44,461
No, dipshit,
of the entire hotel chain.
391
00:15:44,530 --> 00:15:46,430
Multinational
Hotels Incorporated?!
392
00:15:46,498 --> 00:15:47,264
Oh.
393
00:15:47,332 --> 00:15:48,572
I guess I don't own this place.
394
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:49,699
Damn it!
395
00:15:49,768 --> 00:15:51,567
I have to pay for these rooms.
396
00:15:51,636 --> 00:15:52,301
Well?!
397
00:15:52,370 --> 00:15:53,503
Well what?!
398
00:15:53,571 --> 00:15:57,540
Why do I feel like -- no, why
do I know that we've done this before!
399
00:15:57,609 --> 00:16:01,010
I, uh, we haven't, um--
Yes we have, Lana!
400
00:16:01,079 --> 00:16:03,874
Throwing bottle bombs, your tits
flopping around...
401
00:16:03,994 --> 00:16:07,850
Flopping?! Okay, first of all --
Oh my God, what's happening?!
402
00:16:07,970 --> 00:16:10,015
It feels like my brain is exploding!
403
00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:11,237
Krieger, what's happening?!
404
00:16:11,357 --> 00:16:15,736
His mind-brain is permanently
rejecting his real identity!
405
00:16:15,856 --> 00:16:16,792
Mind-brain?
406
00:16:16,861 --> 00:16:18,064
That's a thing, shut up.
407
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,299
Uh, Lana?!
408
00:16:19,419 --> 00:16:19,990
Linda!
409
00:16:20,110 --> 00:16:20,854
Linda?
410
00:16:20,974 --> 00:16:22,472
You're my wife!
Linda!
411
00:16:22,592 --> 00:16:24,113
And I am Bob!
412
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:26,422
I am Bob and I make burgers!
413
00:16:26,542 --> 00:16:29,678
- On liubit burgery...
- Eto yego problema.
414
00:16:29,962 --> 00:16:36,715
- Burger Bob, Bob Bob burger burger...
- Dosvidaniya, Archer...
415
00:16:36,835 --> 00:16:39,932
Bob, honey, I need you to get down!
416
00:16:40,007 --> 00:16:42,742
Yes, down to
the store for cheese!
417
00:16:42,811 --> 00:16:44,856
For the Émile Gorgonzola Burger!
418
00:16:44,976 --> 00:16:46,375
Okay, I have had it.
419
00:16:46,495 --> 00:16:49,008
Well, not with j'accuse-cumbers!
420
00:16:51,387 --> 00:16:53,280
Ogon'!
421
00:16:53,391 --> 00:16:54,423
Oww!
422
00:16:54,492 --> 00:16:56,572
What the shit, Lana?!
423
00:16:56,692 --> 00:16:57,424
Archer?
424
00:16:57,493 --> 00:16:59,359
Wait, are you... you?
425
00:16:59,428 --> 00:17:00,427
Yes, I'm me!
426
00:17:00,496 --> 00:17:01,528
You dumb idiot!
427
00:17:01,597 --> 00:17:03,630
There goes the
frying pan theory.
428
00:17:03,699 --> 00:17:05,165
Who did you think I was?!
429
00:17:05,234 --> 00:17:08,435
- You, unfortunately...
- Unfortunately?!
430
00:17:08,504 --> 00:17:11,371
What's unfortunate is you got
me into a firefight with the
431
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:17,377
KGB armed with a frickin cap gun!
432
00:17:17,446 --> 00:17:20,146
Because unfortunately,
we were trying to cure your --
433
00:17:20,215 --> 00:17:22,148
Psychogenic retrograde amnesia!
434
00:17:22,217 --> 00:17:25,751
Duh!
435
00:17:25,820 --> 00:17:29,055
Wait, so you
remember you had amnesia?
436
00:17:29,123 --> 00:17:32,458
- Such a fragile mystery...
- Krieger, one more word and
437
00:17:32,527 --> 00:17:35,595
I'll make you wish they never scraped
you out of Hitler's drawers.
438
00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:37,162
- Aww...
- Ew.
439
00:17:37,231 --> 00:17:38,330
Ew.
440
00:17:38,399 --> 00:17:40,232
That is a lot creamier than I remembered.
441
00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:43,101
But, you do remember why you
ran away from home this time?
442
00:17:43,170 --> 00:17:46,071
I'm a grown man, Lana,
I didn't run away from home!
443
00:17:46,139 --> 00:17:49,641
I... carjacked a limo.
444
00:17:49,709 --> 00:17:51,276
From a wedding.
445
00:17:51,345 --> 00:17:54,914
Oh my God, it's all coming back to me now...
What part of this
446
00:17:54,983 --> 00:17:56,949
are you not getting?!
447
00:17:57,018 --> 00:17:57,978
Core concept?
448
00:17:57,985 --> 00:18:02,722
Drive, shitheel!
449
00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:03,590
Wh-?!
450
00:18:03,658 --> 00:18:04,791
Where is the limo going?!
451
00:18:04,859 --> 00:18:07,426
I guess
wherever Mr. Archer said to.
452
00:18:07,495 --> 00:18:09,095
Son of a bitch!
453
00:18:09,163 --> 00:18:09,962
Your words.
454
00:18:10,031 --> 00:18:12,765
Burn.
455
00:18:12,834 --> 00:18:14,000
Ruined!
456
00:18:14,068 --> 00:18:16,769
Absolutely ruined, because of you!
457
00:18:16,838 --> 00:18:18,371
I said I was sorry, Mother!
458
00:18:18,439 --> 00:18:20,873
- Happiest day of my life...
- Wait, wasn't that the
459
00:18:20,942 --> 00:18:21,607
day I was born?
460
00:18:21,676 --> 00:18:22,809
Oww!
461
00:18:22,877 --> 00:18:23,676
What's in there?
462
00:18:23,745 --> 00:18:24,611
Spa buckles?
463
00:18:24,679 --> 00:18:28,515
You think that compares to a dream
wedding to Ron Cadillac, the biggest
464
00:18:28,584 --> 00:18:30,317
Cadillac dealer in New York?!
465
00:18:30,386 --> 00:18:32,386
Technically the
whole tri-state area!
466
00:18:32,454 --> 00:18:34,621
[ Cheers ]
467
00:18:34,690 --> 00:18:35,556
Hiya, gang!
468
00:18:35,625 --> 00:18:36,791
Oh, Ron!
469
00:18:36,859 --> 00:18:38,726
Thank you for coming so quickly!
470
00:18:38,795 --> 00:18:39,794
Phrasing, first, boom!
471
00:18:39,863 --> 00:18:43,031
Well, in a Cadillac you don't
have to sacrifice speed for luxury.
472
00:18:43,100 --> 00:18:46,634
That baby'll pass anything on the road...
except a gas station!
473
00:18:46,703 --> 00:18:50,038
[genuine laughter]
474
00:18:50,106 --> 00:18:51,227
And how's my lady love?
475
00:18:51,274 --> 00:18:52,807
Infinitely better now.
476
00:18:52,876 --> 00:18:55,276
I bet, now that you found Sterling!
477
00:18:55,345 --> 00:18:57,512
She was just worried sick about you.
478
00:18:57,581 --> 00:19:00,415
- Well, not sick...
- How the heck are ya, son?
479
00:19:00,484 --> 00:19:04,619
- Fine, awful, whatever, great...
- But mostly mortified
480
00:19:04,688 --> 00:19:06,020
that he ruined our wedding!
481
00:19:06,089 --> 00:19:09,224
Well... all's well that ends well.
482
00:19:09,292 --> 00:19:12,126
Yeah, I don't
think it does, though.
483
00:19:12,195 --> 00:19:13,061
No shit.
484
00:19:13,129 --> 00:19:15,963
No, I mean, the KGB found
you at a burger joint when you
485
00:19:16,032 --> 00:19:18,900
didn't even know who you were,
then they found you here?
486
00:19:18,969 --> 00:19:20,167
How did they do that?
487
00:19:20,236 --> 00:19:24,271
I -- wait, yeah,
how'd they do that?
488
00:19:28,377 --> 00:19:30,511
Barry, are we losing our minds?
489
00:19:30,580 --> 00:19:34,481
Could be, Other Barry, could be...
Because even though
490
00:19:34,550 --> 00:19:37,284
I can see Archer's every
frickin move, apparently it's
491
00:19:37,353 --> 00:19:40,554
impossible to kill that
idiot from frickin space!
492
00:19:40,623 --> 00:19:44,658
So where are we on the frickin
spaceship to get me home?!
493
00:19:44,727 --> 00:19:46,167
And I'm lookin' your way, Dr. Simon.
494
00:19:46,195 --> 00:19:48,496
- Uh, well...
- Lemme stop ya right
495
00:19:48,564 --> 00:19:51,232
there, in case you were about
to say there's been a setback.
496
00:19:51,300 --> 00:19:53,968
Because that's what Dr. Benes
and Dr. Hathaway kept saying.
497
00:19:54,037 --> 00:19:55,470
Remember those guys?
498
00:19:55,539 --> 00:19:58,850
They were workin' with you
guys on my new spaceship?
499
00:19:58,970 --> 00:20:01,577
I murdered them?
500
00:20:02,049 --> 00:20:04,116
Eh, probably just a coincidence.
501
00:20:04,184 --> 00:20:04,850
Really.
502
00:20:04,919 --> 00:20:06,119
You're going with coincidence.
503
00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:08,621
Yes, Lana, I'm
going with coincidence!
504
00:20:08,690 --> 00:20:11,357
Do you think that's wise?
505
00:20:11,425 --> 00:20:14,126
[ screaming ]
506
00:20:14,194 --> 00:20:16,435
What the hell is your problem?!
507
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:27,352
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com