1 00:00:04,393 --> 00:00:06,028 Archer, do something! 2 00:00:06,097 --> 00:00:09,965 Sure thing, Lana... Oh wait, I can't, because I left my lightsaber 3 00:00:10,034 --> 00:00:12,034 in my other space-pants! 4 00:00:12,102 --> 00:00:13,366 Don't yell at me, this was your idea! 5 00:00:13,486 --> 00:00:16,872 What?! Remind me, when was it that I said "Guys, great idea! 6 00:00:16,941 --> 00:00:20,342 Let's get shangaied to go live on frickin Mars!" 7 00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:21,143 Keep moving. 8 00:00:21,212 --> 00:00:23,045 Make meowwwww! 9 00:00:24,148 --> 00:00:27,984 - He said meow... - Moving, yes, and how can I help you not ever 10 00:00:28,052 --> 00:00:29,285 do that again please? 11 00:00:29,354 --> 00:00:30,119 Get in there. 12 00:00:30,188 --> 00:00:33,488 In here sounds great. 13 00:00:33,557 --> 00:00:35,190 are the cuffs really necessary? 14 00:00:35,259 --> 00:00:37,460 Archer broke both of Wu's arms. 15 00:00:37,529 --> 00:00:37,961 He what?! 16 00:00:38,030 --> 00:00:40,097 While shouting "woo." 17 00:00:40,166 --> 00:00:41,332 Happy coincidence. 18 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,967 Mr. Archer, do I have to sedate you?! 19 00:00:44,036 --> 00:00:46,471 - Well, I wouldn't say no to a drink... - Archer? 20 00:00:46,540 --> 00:00:47,439 What, you want one? 21 00:00:47,508 --> 00:00:52,645 - Okay, can we get two -- my tongue says sangria, but my heart says-- - Archer. 22 00:00:52,714 --> 00:00:55,116 - Michelada. - You realize this is kidnapping. 23 00:00:55,184 --> 00:00:55,817 I do, yes. 24 00:00:55,886 --> 00:00:57,452 And do you realize you're insane?! 25 00:00:57,521 --> 00:01:00,288 - Well he wouldn't, by definition-- - What's more insane? 26 00:01:00,357 --> 00:01:04,259 Suffering through famine, war, and disease on a dying Earth? 27 00:01:04,328 --> 00:01:07,096 Or creating a utopia on Mars? 28 00:01:07,164 --> 00:01:09,732 Using me as your, your brood sow?! 29 00:01:09,834 --> 00:01:14,204 No, not -- well okay yes, technically, but we searched for so long to 30 00:01:14,273 --> 00:01:16,473 find the perfect human female specimen! 31 00:01:16,542 --> 00:01:17,670 Well that's flattering. 32 00:01:18,026 --> 00:01:18,785 Ish. 33 00:01:18,905 --> 00:01:22,414 And with your morphology, your IQ, your medical history... 34 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:24,382 How'd you get my medical records?! 35 00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:28,587 Don't judge me on the how... Until you see the why. 36 00:01:28,656 --> 00:01:30,623 Oh, Kareega-san! 37 00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:34,226 - I nevah jooja you. - Well your mother sure as hell does! 38 00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:35,928 How isn't important. 39 00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:38,730 - What is important -- - Is you hired ISIS just 40 00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:41,566 so Lana could pump out a bunch of Martian babies?! 41 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:44,569 Only if by "Martian" you mean "born on Mars," 42 00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:46,804 not actual alien life-forms. 43 00:01:46,873 --> 00:01:47,972 Oh. 44 00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:51,208 Whatever, either way, my point is this whole thing is Lana's fault -- 45 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:51,642 What?! 46 00:01:51,711 --> 00:01:54,779 -- and since you obviously don't need any more dudes on Mars -- 47 00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:55,346 Archer! 48 00:01:55,415 --> 00:01:59,117 Lana, the penis-to-your-vagina ratio around here is creepy enough already. 49 00:01:59,186 --> 00:02:03,556 - So why not let us three go, and -- - I'm afraid that's impossible -- 50 00:02:03,625 --> 00:02:04,090 Or just me. 51 00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:06,726 -- because even if we didn't need all the manpower we can get, 52 00:02:06,795 --> 00:02:08,761 there's no ship to take you back to Earth. 53 00:02:08,830 --> 00:02:11,598 - Yeah no, the shuttle, it's -- - It's going to 54 00:02:11,667 --> 00:02:15,168 push the Horizon into orbit above Mars, to serve as our base while we 55 00:02:15,237 --> 00:02:17,237 begin the terraforming. 56 00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:18,238 Which reminds me. 57 00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:22,108 Captain Kellogg, there are three women on the intrepid. 58 00:02:22,177 --> 00:02:25,845 Take a boarding party, and bring them back here to join their friends. 59 00:02:25,914 --> 00:02:27,413 Holy shitspace! 60 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,448 Hey guys, we got a problem! 61 00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:29,982 Duh! 62 00:02:30,051 --> 00:02:33,152 The party's starting and this dress makes me look like a whore! 63 00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:36,622 Oh, you don't look like an whore... An idiot, maybe. 64 00:02:36,691 --> 00:02:37,323 Wh-?! 65 00:02:37,392 --> 00:02:38,458 Or both. 66 00:02:38,527 --> 00:02:40,750 Yes, a... whordiot. 67 00:02:42,906 --> 00:02:53,591 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 68 00:03:19,005 --> 00:03:22,104 Agent Kane, I -- may I call you Lana? 69 00:03:22,224 --> 00:03:24,154 You absolutely may not. 70 00:03:24,274 --> 00:03:26,807 Fair enough, but I wish you'd reconsider. 71 00:03:26,876 --> 00:03:28,989 You'd be much more comfortable in my quarters. 72 00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:30,711 Ha! You'll have to sedate me. 73 00:03:30,780 --> 00:03:32,580 Oh, we wouldn't do that. 74 00:03:32,648 --> 00:03:36,917 We need you in peak physical condition for this great undertaking of ours. 75 00:03:36,986 --> 00:03:37,852 All of you. 76 00:03:37,921 --> 00:03:40,421 So wait, are we not doing drinks? 77 00:03:40,490 --> 00:03:42,890 Ha! I'm not helping you terraform Mars! 78 00:03:42,959 --> 00:03:44,926 I won't move a cup of dirt! 79 00:03:44,994 --> 00:03:46,327 Can we at least have beers? 80 00:03:46,396 --> 00:03:51,098 Then you can join the um... we're calling them involuntary laborers." 81 00:03:51,167 --> 00:03:53,301 Involun -- wait, you mean slaves?! 82 00:03:53,370 --> 00:03:56,537 - Oh now he's indignant... - Oh please, all you have to do is sit 83 00:03:56,606 --> 00:03:57,705 around all day getting laid! 84 00:03:57,774 --> 00:04:00,775 Involuntary labor is just a temporary measure! 85 00:04:00,844 --> 00:04:05,446 In a few generations, after the colony is established, we'll revisit the issue. 86 00:04:05,515 --> 00:04:08,549 In the meantime -- You can kiss three-fifths of my ass! 87 00:04:08,618 --> 00:04:12,686 - Uh, Tony, we've got a problem... - Ugh, what now? 88 00:04:12,755 --> 00:04:14,588 I'm on my way. 89 00:04:14,657 --> 00:04:16,389 And the black guy's okay with this?! 90 00:04:17,526 --> 00:04:18,458 What! 91 00:04:18,527 --> 00:04:20,160 Oh for -- how was that racist?! 92 00:04:20,228 --> 00:04:21,928 It's just a temporary measure! 93 00:04:21,997 --> 00:04:23,463 I didn't say anything. 94 00:04:23,531 --> 00:04:24,797 Hello, uh, miss? 95 00:04:24,866 --> 00:04:26,432 This is Commander Kellogg. 96 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:29,769 I need you to move the locking lever from "manual" to "auto". 97 00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:32,805 "Auto," got it, moving the lever! 98 00:04:32,874 --> 00:04:34,340 Uh... clunk. 99 00:04:34,409 --> 00:04:35,207 Did that do it? 100 00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:38,611 - Did you move the --? - Boring conversation anyway. 101 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:40,012 What the hell are you doing? 102 00:04:40,081 --> 00:04:43,616 These nutsacks wanna take us to Mars to be baby-factories! 103 00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,584 - Reeally... - Wh-? 104 00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:46,585 I can't go live on Mars! 105 00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:48,487 I just rented a summer house! 106 00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:51,022 - Reeally... - No. 107 00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:55,627 You just -- oh whatever, c'mon, we gotta figure a way out of this! 108 00:04:55,695 --> 00:04:58,230 - Or do we... - Yes. 109 00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:58,830 No! 110 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:01,466 And why is nobody else wearing a t-shirt under their flight suit? 111 00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:04,102 Because this thing feels amazing. 112 00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:07,940 - I know, right? Like a vagina with a zipper... - Ew. 113 00:05:08,009 --> 00:05:10,375 Lana, trust me, this is the only way. 114 00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:11,242 Ugh, alright. 115 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,210 But turn around. 116 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:13,178 "Turn around." 117 00:05:13,247 --> 00:05:16,215 It's not like we haven't all seen them before. 118 00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:17,583 Don't remind me. 119 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,485 Okay, there. 120 00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:23,023 - Although, I guess it has been a long time... - Meaning...? 121 00:05:23,091 --> 00:05:27,395 Nothing, just... bet you're glad we're in reduced gravity. 122 00:05:28,298 --> 00:05:28,897 Well? 123 00:05:28,965 --> 00:05:30,832 I didn't invent the ravages of time. 124 00:05:30,901 --> 00:05:32,701 Okay Ray, Cyril, get ready. 125 00:05:32,770 --> 00:05:35,470 Lana... pretend it's five years ago. 126 00:05:35,539 --> 00:05:39,975 wish it was, so I could murder you before we ever dated. 127 00:05:40,044 --> 00:05:41,043 Uh, excuse me? 128 00:05:41,112 --> 00:05:42,211 Could I borrow you? 129 00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:44,980 No, you cannot borroh oh my God! 130 00:05:45,049 --> 00:05:47,383 Yeah, right? 131 00:05:47,451 --> 00:05:50,887 Okay, what seems to be the -- Oh my eye! 132 00:05:50,956 --> 00:05:52,955 Somebody get his goddamn gun! 133 00:05:53,024 --> 00:05:56,459 - Oh for the love of-- - Oww! Dick! 134 00:05:56,528 --> 00:05:57,460 Gaargh! 135 00:05:57,529 --> 00:05:58,261 My other eye! 136 00:05:58,330 --> 00:06:01,197 - I'm almost certainly blind... - Serves you right. 137 00:06:01,266 --> 00:06:02,132 Anybody else hit? 138 00:06:02,201 --> 00:06:04,034 - No, I'm good. - Yeah, me too. 139 00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:05,835 That's because you hid Cyril. 140 00:06:05,904 --> 00:06:08,405 Otherwise, I think that all went pretty great. 141 00:06:08,473 --> 00:06:09,039 Right? 142 00:06:09,107 --> 00:06:10,140 Really. 143 00:06:11,143 --> 00:06:11,842 Do you not? 144 00:06:11,910 --> 00:06:12,676 "Do you not?" 145 00:06:12,744 --> 00:06:15,478 Just gimme the damn -- T-shirt. 146 00:06:15,547 --> 00:06:16,946 Sorry, it's been commandeered. 147 00:06:17,015 --> 00:06:18,814 What the hell am I supposed to wear?! 148 00:06:18,883 --> 00:06:22,585 Uh... maybe this will work. 149 00:06:22,654 --> 00:06:24,253 Ah, I think that totally works. 150 00:06:24,322 --> 00:06:25,554 Stole them from the gift shop. 151 00:06:25,623 --> 00:06:30,292 If you're done being an asshole, help me strip this guy so I can -- 152 00:06:30,361 --> 00:06:32,461 Security breach, pod six. 153 00:06:32,530 --> 00:06:33,529 We gotta move! 154 00:06:33,597 --> 00:06:34,797 C'mon! 155 00:06:34,866 --> 00:06:36,099 Lana, let's go! 156 00:06:36,167 --> 00:06:36,566 Wait! 157 00:06:36,634 --> 00:06:40,169 Lemme just get -- damn it. 158 00:06:40,238 --> 00:06:44,807 Rrrrr... owww! 159 00:06:44,876 --> 00:06:47,243 Well now they're droopier. 160 00:06:47,312 --> 00:06:49,078 Aww... 161 00:06:51,324 --> 00:06:53,258 Security breach, pod six. 162 00:06:53,327 --> 00:06:55,093 No no no, now what?! 163 00:06:55,162 --> 00:06:56,762 Security breach, pod six. 164 00:06:56,830 --> 00:06:57,662 I heard you! 165 00:06:57,731 --> 00:07:01,900 I don't care if you have to use a plasma torch, get this door open! 166 00:07:01,968 --> 00:07:03,501 Security team, this is Commander Drake! 167 00:07:03,570 --> 00:07:04,869 Converge on pod six! 168 00:07:04,938 --> 00:07:06,871 You heard him, get this door open. 169 00:07:06,939 --> 00:07:09,373 Sure thing... bossman. 170 00:07:09,442 --> 00:07:13,444 - Oh my God, for the last time -- - We can't! 171 00:07:13,513 --> 00:07:14,345 Fit them off! 172 00:07:14,413 --> 00:07:18,882 That's what Dad said, when the bank man came out to foreclose on the farm. 173 00:07:18,951 --> 00:07:20,451 And guess how that turned out. 174 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:22,152 You murdered a banker?! 175 00:07:22,221 --> 00:07:24,088 No, we got a loan modification. 176 00:07:24,156 --> 00:07:26,757 You think a bank wants to own a failing dairy farm? 177 00:07:26,825 --> 00:07:28,625 With obsolete milkers? 178 00:07:28,694 --> 00:07:31,328 - Oh my God, speaking of... - They're right! 179 00:07:31,397 --> 00:07:33,431 Where they've always been! 180 00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:34,499 Wait, can she hear us?! 181 00:07:34,567 --> 00:07:37,702 - Man, I hope not... - Lana?! 182 00:07:37,771 --> 00:07:38,436 Guess not. 183 00:07:38,505 --> 00:07:39,671 Will you come on?! 184 00:07:39,740 --> 00:07:40,939 Rrgh! 185 00:07:41,008 --> 00:07:42,474 Don't get me wrong, I'd still do her. 186 00:07:42,543 --> 00:07:46,045 Oh please, you'd do... name a noun. 187 00:07:46,113 --> 00:07:47,513 No, you look! 188 00:07:47,582 --> 00:07:50,349 You look at these, and tell me they're not perfect! 189 00:07:50,418 --> 00:07:51,618 Now?! Really?! 190 00:07:51,686 --> 00:07:54,354 Jesus God, are you that insecure?! 191 00:07:54,423 --> 00:07:55,522 No! I'm not! 192 00:07:55,590 --> 00:07:58,659 - Because I'm -- - Readyyyyy! 193 00:07:58,727 --> 00:08:00,927 Uh, thoughts? 194 00:08:00,996 --> 00:08:02,762 Through there! Go! 195 00:08:02,831 --> 00:08:03,897 Uh, newp. 196 00:08:03,965 --> 00:08:05,131 Aaaiiim! 197 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:05,965 Why not?! 198 00:08:06,034 --> 00:08:07,801 It's full of, ugh, garbage an' shit! 199 00:08:07,869 --> 00:08:09,469 You got a better idea?! 200 00:08:09,537 --> 00:08:13,039 Well, we could eat a big bowl of Hepatitises A through E... 201 00:08:13,107 --> 00:08:13,839 Or just run away. 202 00:08:13,908 --> 00:08:17,176 Just because it was my idea, you -- guys?! 203 00:08:17,245 --> 00:08:18,978 Fiiiiire! 204 00:08:19,047 --> 00:08:22,215 Oh shit. 205 00:08:22,284 --> 00:08:23,983 What is taking so long?! 206 00:08:24,052 --> 00:08:26,920 Couple things... One, I didn't invent whatever 207 00:08:26,988 --> 00:08:31,257 this door is made of, which is apparently some alloy of adamantium and mithril! 208 00:08:31,326 --> 00:08:33,326 And two, not really liking your tone! 209 00:08:33,395 --> 00:08:35,128 You idiots! 210 00:08:35,197 --> 00:08:39,031 Firing an ion cannon at the future Mother of Mars? 211 00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:40,499 Whose idea was that?! 212 00:08:40,568 --> 00:08:42,135 - Dave's. - Wh-?! 213 00:08:42,203 --> 00:08:45,438 Well that's great, Dave. 214 00:08:45,507 --> 00:08:50,276 So tell me, if you kill her, who's going to bear our Martian children? 215 00:08:50,345 --> 00:08:51,111 Trish?! 216 00:08:51,179 --> 00:08:52,112 Ew. 217 00:08:52,180 --> 00:08:53,079 Ew! 218 00:08:53,148 --> 00:08:53,847 Archer! 219 00:08:53,915 --> 00:08:54,981 Sorry, go on, Trish. 220 00:08:55,050 --> 00:09:00,486 We've been locked in here ever since they you idiots took over Horizon. 221 00:09:00,555 --> 00:09:02,321 - Tone... - Yeah, sorry. 222 00:09:02,390 --> 00:09:06,058 Butt Drake wants to use the Intrepid to push Horizon to Mars! 223 00:09:06,127 --> 00:09:08,127 So tell us how we can stop him! 224 00:09:08,196 --> 00:09:12,398 Yeah, can Cyril die after shutting down the tractor beam, or...? 225 00:09:12,467 --> 00:09:17,303 Ugh! The Intrepid is the key to Drake's plan, and he and Kellogg are the only 226 00:09:17,372 --> 00:09:19,105 ones who can fly it! 227 00:09:19,174 --> 00:09:22,675 So why aren't you a-holes down there?! 228 00:09:22,744 --> 00:09:24,644 - Burn. - Cyril! 229 00:09:24,712 --> 00:09:26,012 Although, good point Trish. 230 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:27,847 Okay, to the Intrepid! 231 00:09:27,915 --> 00:09:31,416 Let's go! 232 00:09:31,485 --> 00:09:33,251 Oh, and Trish? 233 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:36,655 With your looks, maybe bitchy's not the way to go. 234 00:09:36,723 --> 00:09:38,590 Okay, you're the prettiest! 235 00:09:38,658 --> 00:09:39,490 Come on! 236 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:42,092 I thought I made myself very clear. 237 00:09:42,161 --> 00:09:44,261 - You did, but-- - Then why! 238 00:09:44,330 --> 00:09:46,897 Isn't this airlock open?! 239 00:09:47,666 --> 00:09:48,898 Dwarven technology. 240 00:09:48,967 --> 00:09:50,133 What was that?! 241 00:09:50,201 --> 00:09:50,833 What'd you say?! 242 00:09:50,902 --> 00:09:51,834 Tony, stop! 243 00:09:51,903 --> 00:09:52,235 See? 244 00:09:52,303 --> 00:09:56,172 Now we just wait for Mr. Archer to save the day, like he always does. 245 00:09:56,241 --> 00:09:59,542 I don't know about "always" but-- Are you sure they can't get in? 246 00:09:59,611 --> 00:10:00,844 Didn't you hear him? 247 00:10:00,912 --> 00:10:05,082 - He said -- - Say "dwarven technology" to me again! 248 00:10:05,151 --> 00:10:05,882 What the...? 249 00:10:05,951 --> 00:10:07,518 Stop this at once! 250 00:10:07,587 --> 00:10:09,253 We command you! 251 00:10:09,322 --> 00:10:10,121 I'm sorry? 252 00:10:10,190 --> 00:10:11,723 Oh wait, we're sorry -- aren't you guys 253 00:10:11,792 --> 00:10:13,392 looking for a new Martian queen? 254 00:10:13,461 --> 00:10:17,730 - God damn it... - Why, yes, and you're -- - Your majesty. 255 00:10:17,798 --> 00:10:23,101 Your majesty, and you are just, so... What's the word I'm looking for? 256 00:10:23,170 --> 00:10:26,537 Don't say whordiot, we hate that. 257 00:10:26,606 --> 00:10:28,305 - Majestic! - Right? 258 00:10:28,374 --> 00:10:32,143 Now follow me, we got a big list of must-haves for the royal palace. 259 00:10:32,211 --> 00:10:34,712 Uh, your wish is my command! 260 00:10:34,780 --> 00:10:35,546 Duh. 261 00:10:35,614 --> 00:10:38,782 Seal the door behind me and prepare Horizon for launch. 262 00:10:38,851 --> 00:10:41,418 Next stop, Mars! 263 00:10:41,487 --> 00:10:42,819 Okay, you heard him. 264 00:10:42,888 --> 00:10:44,421 Uh, I heard him tell you to do it. 265 00:10:44,490 --> 00:10:46,256 And I'm telling you to do it! 266 00:10:46,324 --> 00:10:49,693 And I'm telling you that I didn't sign up for Animal Farm in space! 267 00:10:49,761 --> 00:10:51,194 Wait, there's animals? 268 00:10:51,263 --> 00:10:52,229 Wh-? No. 269 00:10:52,298 --> 00:10:53,130 Animal Farm? 270 00:10:53,199 --> 00:10:54,932 How do you not get that? 271 00:10:55,001 --> 00:10:58,436 - Cyril, I know what an animal farm is -- - Not an animal farm! 272 00:10:58,504 --> 00:11:01,172 -- and maybe we can, I dunno, stampede a flock of goats down 273 00:11:01,241 --> 00:11:03,775 - the hall... - Animal Farm! Is a book! 274 00:11:03,843 --> 00:11:05,177 No, it isn't Lana! 275 00:11:05,245 --> 00:11:07,045 It's an allegorical novella! 276 00:11:07,114 --> 00:11:08,347 About Stalinism! 277 00:11:08,416 --> 00:11:09,582 By George Orwell! 278 00:11:09,650 --> 00:11:12,685 And spoiler alert, it sucks! 279 00:11:12,753 --> 00:11:17,255 Although I was talking about an actual animal farm. 280 00:11:17,324 --> 00:11:19,690 So never mind. 281 00:11:19,759 --> 00:11:24,729 Oh don't mind me, ma'am, just uh... adjusting the climate control. 282 00:11:24,797 --> 00:11:25,663 Ooh! Yes! 283 00:11:25,731 --> 00:11:27,498 Another palace must-have! 284 00:11:27,567 --> 00:11:30,368 Now, we heard some mention of babies? 285 00:11:30,436 --> 00:11:34,405 - Uh-huh... - But just to be clear, we don't do babies? 286 00:11:34,473 --> 00:11:35,873 "Do" as in...? 287 00:11:35,942 --> 00:11:38,008 "Do" as in tolerate, be around, touch, 288 00:11:38,077 --> 00:11:41,411 and definitely as in let them claw their monstery way out of our vagina. 289 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:43,347 Well, let's put a pin in that. 290 00:11:43,415 --> 00:11:44,915 Eww! 291 00:11:44,983 --> 00:11:46,350 Wait, put a pin in what? 292 00:11:46,418 --> 00:11:47,150 What? 293 00:11:47,219 --> 00:11:48,452 What is wrong with you?! 294 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:52,088 - And where are the other two -- - Right here, spacenuts. 295 00:11:52,157 --> 00:11:53,523 Pamela, stop! 296 00:11:53,591 --> 00:11:54,690 Your queen commands you! 297 00:11:54,759 --> 00:11:58,193 Oh please, you're not fit to be queen of... name a place. 298 00:11:58,262 --> 00:11:59,061 Lidsville. 299 00:11:59,130 --> 00:12:02,898 And Drake, you can forget all about your crazy little... 300 00:12:02,967 --> 00:12:04,567 Martian sex-cult! 301 00:12:04,636 --> 00:12:08,071 It's not -- don't you people get it?! 302 00:12:08,139 --> 00:12:09,872 Earth is doomed! 303 00:12:09,941 --> 00:12:14,944 Mankind's only hope for survival is to find a new home on Mars, 304 00:12:15,012 --> 00:12:18,181 and I'm the only man alive who can lead us there! 305 00:12:18,249 --> 00:12:22,352 - I'm like, like -- - Oh, Jesus Christ... - Well, 306 00:12:22,420 --> 00:12:25,688 - I think a more apt analogy would be Moses, but -- - Drop your weapon! 307 00:12:25,757 --> 00:12:26,322 Make me! 308 00:12:26,391 --> 00:12:28,725 No, don't make her, c'mon... Pam?! 309 00:12:28,794 --> 00:12:30,526 - Pam, shoot. - Mother! 310 00:12:30,595 --> 00:12:31,327 Malory! 311 00:12:31,396 --> 00:12:31,828 Pam. 312 00:12:31,897 --> 00:12:34,063 - And she'll do it, too... - She'll do anything 313 00:12:34,132 --> 00:12:37,500 to keep us from the throne which is our birthright! 314 00:12:37,569 --> 00:12:41,337 Ew, birth. 315 00:12:41,405 --> 00:12:42,371 Alright! 316 00:12:42,439 --> 00:12:44,306 Wh-? No no no! What're you doing?! 317 00:12:44,375 --> 00:12:45,207 No, no! 318 00:12:45,276 --> 00:12:50,312 Even if they kill me, they can never kill our dream! 319 00:12:50,380 --> 00:12:54,316 - Mars -- - Hang on, sorry, one sec. 320 00:12:54,385 --> 00:12:56,319 Drones? You wanna...? 321 00:12:56,387 --> 00:13:00,456 Thank you, thank you, thanks a lot. 322 00:13:00,525 --> 00:13:02,859 There is no Mars without you, Tony. 323 00:13:02,928 --> 00:13:03,927 I'm sorry. 324 00:13:03,995 --> 00:13:05,929 Sorry?! 325 00:13:05,998 --> 00:13:07,197 You're sorry?! 326 00:13:07,266 --> 00:13:11,068 You just singlehandedly doomed mankind! 327 00:13:11,137 --> 00:13:14,472 Hey, even so, black astronaut, that's still pretty huge. 328 00:13:14,540 --> 00:13:15,239 It actually is. 329 00:13:15,308 --> 00:13:18,810 And at least your own mother didn't just play chicken with your life! 330 00:13:18,879 --> 00:13:19,911 Self-burn. 331 00:13:20,013 --> 00:13:21,345 Cyril! Okay, Drake. 332 00:13:21,414 --> 00:13:24,349 You are going to fly us back to Earth, to stand trial for... 333 00:13:24,418 --> 00:13:25,951 whatever, space-piracy. 334 00:13:26,019 --> 00:13:28,487 No man can judge me. 335 00:13:28,556 --> 00:13:33,092 - Well, you say that... - Mars foreverrrrrr! 336 00:13:33,161 --> 00:13:33,993 Aaaaaaaaghhhh! 337 00:13:34,062 --> 00:13:41,501 Suppressing fiiiiiiire! 338 00:13:41,569 --> 00:13:42,935 I think I got 'em! 339 00:13:43,004 --> 00:13:43,669 Did I get 'em?! 340 00:13:43,738 --> 00:13:44,237 You did. 341 00:13:44,305 --> 00:13:47,240 You got those two guys, who were just minding their own business... 342 00:13:47,308 --> 00:13:51,544 Ooh! And also the one remaining person who could fly us back to Earth! 343 00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:53,546 A black astronaut, Cyril! 344 00:13:53,615 --> 00:13:55,381 That's like killing a unicorn! 345 00:13:55,450 --> 00:13:56,983 Aw, crapsnacks! 346 00:13:57,052 --> 00:13:59,452 - How could this get -- - Don't! Say it! 347 00:13:59,521 --> 00:14:01,154 Do not say it! 348 00:14:01,223 --> 00:14:09,329 Gone to outer spaaaace, to shoot that dickbag in his faaaace! 349 00:14:09,397 --> 00:14:11,197 Hang on, Other Barry. 350 00:14:11,266 --> 00:14:12,198 This is Barry. 351 00:14:12,266 --> 00:14:13,733 Hey, punkin pie! 352 00:14:13,801 --> 00:14:15,368 I -- whatsat? 353 00:14:15,436 --> 00:14:20,307 No, I'm in... London, for -- whaaat? 354 00:14:20,375 --> 00:14:25,279 Katya, punkin, I promised I'd stop trying to kill Archer. 355 00:14:25,347 --> 00:14:28,615 Yes, both Barrys promised! 356 00:14:28,684 --> 00:14:34,254 What? Wait, what's wrong with the sofa we already -- ooh, hey, hon? 357 00:14:34,323 --> 00:14:36,123 You're breaking up. 358 00:14:36,191 --> 00:14:41,127 - Doo doo doo doo dooooo... - Any worse. 359 00:14:41,196 --> 00:14:42,762 Is what I was gonna say. 360 00:14:42,831 --> 00:14:44,932 Really? 361 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,600 Yes. 362 00:14:50,962 --> 00:14:54,164 Oh my God, are you kidding me?! 363 00:14:54,233 --> 00:14:54,865 Brrring! 364 00:14:54,933 --> 00:14:56,599 Hello, is this airboats? 365 00:14:56,668 --> 00:14:59,302 Yeah hi, it's me, Spacebot. 366 00:14:59,371 --> 00:15:00,303 What? 367 00:15:00,371 --> 00:15:04,606 Oh, just lifting a thousand pounds like it's an apple, no big deal... 368 00:15:04,675 --> 00:15:05,307 Archer! 369 00:15:05,376 --> 00:15:08,577 Quit screwing around with the robot and shut the damn airlock already! 370 00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:10,311 Five more minutes! 371 00:15:10,380 --> 00:15:11,613 - God... - What's the hurry? 372 00:15:11,682 --> 00:15:17,552 - We're all going to die up here anyway... - We're gonna diiiiiie! 373 00:15:17,621 --> 00:15:18,687 We're not gonna die! 374 00:15:18,756 --> 00:15:20,056 Stop crying! 375 00:15:20,124 --> 00:15:23,226 And for what it's worth, I think you would've made a great Martian queen. 376 00:15:23,294 --> 00:15:25,028 Duh! 377 00:15:25,096 --> 00:15:28,031 - Okay... - Uh, so Trish? 378 00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:28,765 What. 379 00:15:28,834 --> 00:15:32,569 - Still with the tone... - Okay, the airlock's closed! Happy?! 380 00:15:32,638 --> 00:15:33,903 So, seriously? 381 00:15:33,972 --> 00:15:35,738 None of you guys know how to fly this thing? 382 00:15:35,807 --> 00:15:37,206 No! We're scientists! 383 00:15:37,275 --> 00:15:39,675 We never even trained on the simulator! 384 00:15:39,744 --> 00:15:41,177 The simulator! 385 00:15:41,246 --> 00:15:43,646 Guys, I can fly us home! 386 00:15:43,715 --> 00:15:44,813 I will fly us home! 387 00:15:44,882 --> 00:15:47,549 Wait, what is this?! 388 00:15:47,618 --> 00:15:48,650 And that?! 389 00:15:48,719 --> 00:15:49,885 But right now this?! 390 00:15:49,953 --> 00:15:53,221 - He was really good in the simulator... - Yeah, right up until he crashed it! 391 00:15:53,290 --> 00:15:56,190 Thanks to you and your stupid fire extinguisher! 392 00:15:56,259 --> 00:15:58,259 - Right? - Okay, then it's settled. 393 00:15:58,328 --> 00:16:01,596 So Trish, Horizon is self-sustaining, right? 394 00:16:01,665 --> 00:16:03,432 - Duh. - Well then have fun. 395 00:16:03,501 --> 00:16:05,000 Wait wait wait! 396 00:16:05,069 --> 00:16:10,373 Nevermind, I'm sure somebody's gonna feed the farm animals. 397 00:16:10,442 --> 00:16:13,109 Cyril, you're in command, try not to kill us. 398 00:16:13,178 --> 00:16:14,811 Everybody else, strap in. 399 00:16:14,879 --> 00:16:17,446 - Reeeally... - I said in! 400 00:16:17,515 --> 00:16:18,347 Not on! 401 00:16:18,416 --> 00:16:19,181 Oh. 402 00:16:19,250 --> 00:16:19,982 And ew. 403 00:16:20,051 --> 00:16:22,884 And -- Malory. 404 00:16:22,953 --> 00:16:24,486 I'm going into stasis. 405 00:16:24,554 --> 00:16:28,523 Wake me up when we're on the ground. 406 00:16:28,592 --> 00:16:30,492 Preferably above seventy-second street. 407 00:16:31,928 --> 00:16:33,995 What is that, who's got beer? 408 00:16:34,064 --> 00:16:35,597 Arrcherrr! 409 00:16:35,665 --> 00:16:36,197 Wh-? 410 00:16:36,266 --> 00:16:38,632 Come out to plaay-yaaay! 411 00:16:38,701 --> 00:16:39,633 Barry?! 412 00:16:39,702 --> 00:16:40,968 C'mon out, Archer! 413 00:16:41,037 --> 00:16:45,473 I'd come in, but... Who built this door, space-dwarves? 414 00:16:45,541 --> 00:16:46,374 Okay, Barry! 415 00:16:46,442 --> 00:16:52,080 Forgetting, for the moment, how you found me here...! 416 00:16:52,149 --> 00:16:53,748 You wanna finish this?! 417 00:16:53,817 --> 00:16:55,016 I do, yeah. 418 00:16:55,085 --> 00:16:56,317 That's why I'm here. 419 00:16:56,386 --> 00:16:57,886 Not for long, you're not! 420 00:16:57,988 --> 00:16:59,421 Where do you think you're going?! 421 00:16:59,489 --> 00:17:01,857 Uh, this place called to kill Barry? 422 00:17:01,926 --> 00:17:03,892 Are you -- every time y'all fight he beats you like 423 00:17:03,961 --> 00:17:07,228 the redheaded stepchild of a rented mule! 424 00:17:07,297 --> 00:17:08,764 No he doesn't. 425 00:17:08,833 --> 00:17:11,600 yes, yes he does. 426 00:17:11,669 --> 00:17:12,267 No no, wait! 427 00:17:12,336 --> 00:17:13,502 Look look look! 428 00:17:13,571 --> 00:17:15,938 Hang on! 429 00:17:16,007 --> 00:17:20,476 Here, look, check it out! 430 00:17:20,544 --> 00:17:21,844 You can wear this! 431 00:17:21,913 --> 00:17:23,880 - Oh my God... - Right? 432 00:17:23,949 --> 00:17:27,317 Evil cyborg versus Spacebot. Love it. 433 00:17:27,386 --> 00:17:32,290 This is gonna be -- and I hate this word, but -- this is gonna be epic! 434 00:17:32,358 --> 00:17:34,325 - Hang on I'll be right -- - He can't get in here. 435 00:17:34,394 --> 00:17:36,427 So the only reason to go out there, is your ego. 436 00:17:36,496 --> 00:17:38,662 Not just my ego, Lana! 437 00:17:38,731 --> 00:17:40,297 Spacebot's ego! 438 00:17:40,366 --> 00:17:42,432 - And a giant ass-whippin... - I can take him! 439 00:17:43,869 --> 00:17:46,102 Please! We just want to go home! 440 00:17:46,171 --> 00:17:49,906 - But, Spacebot... - Jesus, think about somebody else for 441 00:17:49,975 --> 00:17:51,708 once in your life! 442 00:17:51,776 --> 00:17:53,276 And that's her saying that. 443 00:17:53,345 --> 00:17:55,678 Exactly. 444 00:17:55,747 --> 00:17:59,082 - Domo arigato, Archer Robot-o... - Uh, Barry? 445 00:17:59,151 --> 00:17:59,816 Yo! 446 00:17:59,885 --> 00:18:01,017 Let's get it on, brotha! 447 00:18:01,086 --> 00:18:04,153 I, uh... can't. 448 00:18:04,222 --> 00:18:05,088 Get it on. 449 00:18:05,156 --> 00:18:07,323 - What?! - Maybe next time, sorry. 450 00:18:07,392 --> 00:18:11,260 Hey, don't do that, don't apologize... I mean, if you're having 451 00:18:11,329 --> 00:18:16,065 a legitimate problem with your vagina... that you have between your legs 452 00:18:16,134 --> 00:18:19,969 in lieu a penis, I completely understand and you need to deal with that. 453 00:18:20,038 --> 00:18:22,105 Honestly, we can do this again. 454 00:18:22,173 --> 00:18:28,011 - Grrrggrrk... - Archer? 455 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:29,846 Next time, Barry. 456 00:18:29,915 --> 00:18:33,382 - Sterling, I know I may not say this very often -- - Or ever. 457 00:18:33,451 --> 00:18:35,351 Well congratulations, you ruined it. 458 00:18:35,420 --> 00:18:37,520 But I'm still very proud of you. 459 00:18:37,589 --> 00:18:40,690 - Aww... - Ass. 460 00:18:40,758 --> 00:18:43,359 Docking coupler. Disengaging. 461 00:18:43,427 --> 00:18:44,893 Okay folks. 462 00:18:44,962 --> 00:18:46,361 Next stop, planet Earth! 463 00:18:46,430 --> 00:18:48,030 Just try not to kill us all, Cyril! 464 00:18:48,098 --> 00:18:49,665 Mother, please! 465 00:18:49,733 --> 00:18:53,802 Don't listen to her, Cyril, you're gonna do great. 466 00:18:53,871 --> 00:18:56,405 Thanks, Archer. 467 00:18:56,474 --> 00:18:59,708 - And just for that... - What're you doing? 468 00:18:59,777 --> 00:19:00,709 You'll see. 469 00:19:00,778 --> 00:19:03,579 Ignition. 470 00:19:03,648 --> 00:19:08,318 Noooooooooooooooooo! 471 00:19:08,387 --> 00:19:09,419 Ha! 472 00:19:09,488 --> 00:19:13,456 Now who's got a vagina problem! 473 00:19:13,525 --> 00:19:16,693 - Me. - Ew. 474 00:19:16,762 --> 00:19:19,328 How am I gonna get home! 475 00:19:19,397 --> 00:19:20,563 Fifty meters. 476 00:19:20,631 --> 00:19:21,564 You're doing great, Cyril! 477 00:19:21,632 --> 00:19:25,267 Almost there... almost... there! 478 00:19:25,336 --> 00:19:27,036 Yeah, so lemme take this baby on in. 479 00:19:27,104 --> 00:19:28,270 What're you--?! 480 00:19:28,339 --> 00:19:30,339 - Archer, stop it! - Lemme land it! 481 00:19:30,407 --> 00:19:35,310 Archer! You had like, an actual moment of self-awareness in space, so -- 482 00:19:35,379 --> 00:19:37,346 So I deserve to land the goddamn spaceship! 483 00:19:37,414 --> 00:19:39,147 Ten meters. 484 00:19:39,216 --> 00:19:40,916 Sink rate, sink rate. 485 00:19:40,985 --> 00:19:43,219 Uh, actually Cyril, It's all you buddy? 486 00:19:43,288 --> 00:19:44,821 You got it. 487 00:19:49,126 --> 00:19:51,461 Item four. 488 00:19:51,530 --> 00:19:55,299 Until further notice, no more health insurance claims will be accepted. 489 00:19:55,367 --> 00:19:57,467 Awe, c'mon. 490 00:19:57,536 --> 00:19:59,035 Well don't blame me! 491 00:19:59,104 --> 00:20:06,141 Yeah, Cyril crashed the damn thing. 492 00:20:06,210 --> 00:20:06,975 Oh come on! 493 00:20:07,044 --> 00:20:09,110 Ray, what's the big deal?! 494 00:20:09,179 --> 00:20:11,194 You already had the chair! 495 00:20:20,291 --> 00:20:22,478 Hey, did I tell you guys I got a goat. 496 00:20:23,669 --> 00:20:34,140 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com