1 00:00:01,911 --> 00:00:05,413 Mayday mayday mayday, this is Commander Kellogg of 2 00:00:05,415 --> 00:00:08,248 I.S.A. Space Station Horizon, (...) 3 00:00:08,250 --> 00:00:10,282 secure transmission (...) 4 00:00:10,284 --> 00:00:11,283 Commander Drake. 5 00:00:11,285 --> 00:00:15,352 Tony, the crew has (...), and we are under (...). 6 00:00:15,354 --> 00:00:18,857 I say again, we are under (...). 7 00:00:18,859 --> 00:00:23,328 Croatoooooan! 8 00:00:23,330 --> 00:00:26,230 - And that, Mrs. Archer... - Ms. 9 00:00:26,232 --> 00:00:26,698 Don't. 10 00:00:26,700 --> 00:00:30,136 - Ahh -- Ms. Archer, I beg your pardon -- - Don't. 11 00:00:30,138 --> 00:00:33,039 -- that was the last transmission from the Horizon. 12 00:00:33,041 --> 00:00:35,008 Which, obviously pretty vague. 13 00:00:35,010 --> 00:00:35,947 Vague?! 14 00:00:36,067 --> 00:00:38,979 You heard Commander Kellogg, he said the Horizon is under attack! 15 00:00:38,981 --> 00:00:42,548 - Well, under something... - He could've been saying underfinanced. 16 00:00:42,550 --> 00:00:43,082 What? 17 00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:45,652 - Sterling -- - What, they're always whining about needing more 18 00:00:45,654 --> 00:00:47,621 money for their boondocks. 19 00:00:47,623 --> 00:00:48,388 Doggles. 20 00:00:48,390 --> 00:00:48,922 What? 21 00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:51,758 You think space exploration is a boondoggle?! 22 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,627 Well c'mon, in this economy? 23 00:00:53,629 --> 00:00:54,761 Exactly! 24 00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:58,264 Now, more than ever, is when we need to look to space 25 00:00:58,266 --> 00:01:01,500 for the solutions to mankind's problems. 26 00:01:01,502 --> 00:01:04,504 In just two hundred years, Earth's population will exceed 27 00:01:04,506 --> 00:01:06,672 her capacity to produce enough food. 28 00:01:06,674 --> 00:01:10,709 And even as the famines begin, global war will erupt as fresh 29 00:01:10,711 --> 00:01:13,345 water becomes scarcer than gold. 30 00:01:13,347 --> 00:01:18,616 But if we begin now, using the lessons learned aboard Space Station Horizon, 31 00:01:18,618 --> 00:01:22,688 a small group of brave colonists, can terraform Mars. 32 00:01:22,690 --> 00:01:26,292 And mankind can finally slip the surly bonds of Earth, 33 00:01:26,294 --> 00:01:30,496 to live forever among the stars! 34 00:01:30,498 --> 00:01:31,563 Yeah, Lana. 35 00:01:31,565 --> 00:01:32,130 Wh-? 36 00:01:32,132 --> 00:01:33,832 Jesus, read a book once in your life. 37 00:01:33,834 --> 00:01:36,267 So where does ISIS fit in, Commander? 38 00:01:36,269 --> 00:01:38,736 - Well -- - Well I think that's a bit premature, until we discuss 39 00:01:38,738 --> 00:01:40,272 our fee structure. 40 00:01:40,274 --> 00:01:42,907 - As to that, you can name your price. 41 00:01:42,909 --> 00:01:45,510 - Oh now they've got -- - Enough! 42 00:01:45,512 --> 00:01:48,213 Commander? As to our role? 43 00:01:48,215 --> 00:01:50,382 Horizon has an international crew. 44 00:01:50,384 --> 00:01:54,854 American, German, Chinese, French-- - Ba-dum-bump! 45 00:01:54,856 --> 00:01:56,856 Sorry, I thought "French" 46 00:01:56,858 --> 00:02:00,059 was a joke - Is mutiny funny to you, Mr. Archer? 47 00:02:00,061 --> 00:02:03,897 - I dunno, maybe a mutiny of clowns... - Because I fear that one 48 00:02:03,899 --> 00:02:06,566 faction, led by radical nationalists, has mutinied. 49 00:02:06,568 --> 00:02:07,300 But who? 50 00:02:07,302 --> 00:02:07,835 Which one? 51 00:02:07,837 --> 00:02:10,337 - Well if I -- - If he knew, he would tell us! 52 00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:10,971 Read a book! 53 00:02:10,973 --> 00:02:14,141 And since I don't know which faction is behind the mutiny -- 54 00:02:14,143 --> 00:02:17,678 - If there even was one... - -- I can't trust anyone at the I.S.A. 55 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,579 Which is why I came to ISIS. 56 00:02:19,581 --> 00:02:21,347 Because of our loyalty. 57 00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:22,748 Or lack thereof. 58 00:02:22,750 --> 00:02:24,049 Or whatever. 59 00:02:24,051 --> 00:02:26,552 Because I need a small cadre of highly trained agents 60 00:02:26,554 --> 00:02:29,655 to fly into orbit and help me to retake control of Horizon. 61 00:02:29,657 --> 00:02:30,522 Nooope! 62 00:02:30,524 --> 00:02:31,457 Yeahhhp! 63 00:02:31,459 --> 00:02:32,090 Archer! 64 00:02:32,092 --> 00:02:32,691 Lana! 65 00:02:32,693 --> 00:02:33,959 He just said "highly-trained"! 66 00:02:33,961 --> 00:02:37,762 And last time I checked, none of us were even lowly-trained to be astronauts! 67 00:02:37,764 --> 00:02:39,330 Well how hard could it be? 68 00:02:39,332 --> 00:02:40,164 Incredibly. 69 00:02:40,166 --> 00:02:43,835 - But since apparently money is no object... - The training schedule 70 00:02:43,837 --> 00:02:46,305 will have to be highly compressed, because the shuttle Intrepid is 71 00:02:46,307 --> 00:02:47,973 launching in three days. 72 00:02:47,975 --> 00:02:50,709 And I won't lie to you, this mission will be dangerous. 73 00:02:50,711 --> 00:02:54,646 Would you say we'll be venturing into a zone of danger? 74 00:02:54,648 --> 00:02:56,315 Well yes, obviously. 75 00:02:56,317 --> 00:02:58,517 No, but -- how would you phrase that? 76 00:02:58,519 --> 00:03:01,435 I -- the zone will be one of danger? 77 00:03:01,555 --> 00:03:06,002 No, I mean say -- oh forget it, never mind. 78 00:03:06,122 --> 00:03:08,027 And you never mind and also shut up. 79 00:03:08,399 --> 00:03:18,421 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 80 00:03:43,713 --> 00:03:44,654 Oww! 81 00:03:44,774 --> 00:03:46,623 Jesus Krieger, that's the bone! 82 00:03:46,743 --> 00:03:51,279 Oh, da mean doctor take widdle baby's bwud, and widdle baby goes -- 83 00:03:51,281 --> 00:03:51,746 owww! 84 00:03:51,748 --> 00:03:53,347 You're a baby. 85 00:03:53,349 --> 00:03:55,282 And astronaut training sucks complete ass! 86 00:03:55,284 --> 00:03:55,783 Literally! 87 00:03:55,785 --> 00:03:57,785 What is the deal with all the enemas?! 88 00:03:57,787 --> 00:04:00,622 - Uh -- - And why do you need so much blood?! 89 00:04:00,624 --> 00:04:02,990 And wait, now that I think about it -- - Why is this man in 90 00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:04,225 the restricted area?! 91 00:04:04,227 --> 00:04:05,860 Who, him? 92 00:04:05,862 --> 00:04:06,761 You. 93 00:04:06,763 --> 00:04:07,962 Wh-? Krieger! 94 00:04:07,964 --> 00:04:10,331 Uh -- smoke bomb! 95 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,366 And why aren't you with the other trainees? 96 00:04:12,368 --> 00:04:15,536 I was told I had to undergo a bunch of extremely 97 00:04:15,538 --> 00:04:16,937 invasive medical tests. 98 00:04:16,939 --> 00:04:20,340 Well normally you would, but by our doctors. 99 00:04:20,342 --> 00:04:22,942 But since you're on such an accelerated training schedule -- 100 00:04:22,944 --> 00:04:25,878 Six enemas is a luxury we can ill afford, got it. 101 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:26,746 Six?! 102 00:04:26,748 --> 00:04:28,915 Or -- who knows, he put me under. 103 00:04:28,917 --> 00:04:29,382 Maybe twelve. 104 00:04:29,384 --> 00:04:32,853 Now you've wasted half a day, so the other trainees are way 105 00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:33,220 ahead of you. 106 00:04:33,222 --> 00:04:36,290 Not for long they're not! 107 00:04:37,827 --> 00:04:39,861 Well he's eager, I'll give him that. 108 00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,763 Well, you inspire him. 109 00:04:41,765 --> 00:04:44,767 With all those medals on that powerful chest. 110 00:04:44,769 --> 00:04:48,404 Your wife is a very lucky-- - I'm a widower. 111 00:04:48,406 --> 00:04:49,371 Oh! 112 00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:51,941 Difficult to meet people, isn't it, in jobs like ours. 113 00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:58,348 I only mention it because I also happen to be single -- - Yes, I know. 114 00:04:58,350 --> 00:05:00,350 Excuse me. 115 00:05:07,493 --> 00:05:10,027 I hope to God that was alcohol. 116 00:05:10,029 --> 00:05:10,828 No! 117 00:05:10,830 --> 00:05:11,228 Yes! 118 00:05:11,230 --> 00:05:13,297 - Dammit Archer, it's-- - It's my turn! 119 00:05:13,299 --> 00:05:14,865 Cyril! Cyril! 120 00:05:14,867 --> 00:05:16,400 Drake said lemme fly it! 121 00:05:16,402 --> 00:05:18,369 Cut it out, Archer! 122 00:05:18,371 --> 00:05:19,771 I'm landing! 123 00:05:19,773 --> 00:05:24,075 C'mon, baby, keep that nose up... 124 00:05:24,077 --> 00:05:25,210 What the --?! 125 00:05:25,946 --> 00:05:26,978 Explosive decompression. 126 00:05:26,980 --> 00:05:28,179 Explosive decompression. 127 00:05:28,181 --> 00:05:29,080 Happy, Cyril?! 128 00:05:29,082 --> 00:05:31,316 You just destroyed Alderaan! 129 00:05:31,318 --> 00:05:34,685 Dammit, that was closer than any of us have gotten to actually landing! 130 00:05:34,687 --> 00:05:39,522 A, because you're all crap, and B, who cares, we're not gonna land it! 131 00:05:39,524 --> 00:05:41,791 - What the hell -- - -- is going on in here?! 132 00:05:41,793 --> 00:05:44,827 - Archer -- - Saw an electrical fire in the simulator, 133 00:05:44,829 --> 00:05:47,630 and knowing that my colleague's life was in danger, I -- 134 00:05:47,632 --> 00:05:49,632 You acted without thinking! 135 00:05:49,634 --> 00:05:50,266 As always. 136 00:05:50,268 --> 00:05:54,138 - Not always... - Well, thank God you did -- - Wh-? 137 00:05:54,140 --> 00:05:54,905 But almost always! 138 00:05:54,907 --> 00:05:57,675 -- because that's exactly the kind of decisive action 139 00:05:57,677 --> 00:05:59,076 this mission calls for. 140 00:05:59,078 --> 00:06:01,113 You could all learn something from him. 141 00:06:01,115 --> 00:06:04,516 - Oh my God... - Starting with a little training exercise we 142 00:06:04,518 --> 00:06:10,455 lightheartedly call... The Vomit Comet! 143 00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:14,059 And if you're wondering why we call it that... 144 00:06:14,061 --> 00:06:14,693 Gagh! 145 00:06:14,695 --> 00:06:15,794 Aw, it's all in my hair! 146 00:06:15,796 --> 00:06:18,263 Oh Jeezy H. Petes! 147 00:06:18,265 --> 00:06:20,097 What the hell is wrong with you, Lana?! 148 00:06:20,099 --> 00:06:21,699 ... that's why we call it that. 149 00:06:21,701 --> 00:06:26,370 What possible reason, could there be, to subject human beings to -- 150 00:06:26,372 --> 00:06:32,410 SKEWWWWWWW... - Such mind-shattering awesomeness! 151 00:06:32,412 --> 00:06:38,716 - The KC-135 flies in a parabolic arc-- - Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo caaaaaaaaaares! 152 00:06:38,718 --> 00:06:42,721 -- which allows us to achieve weightlessness for about thirty seconds. 153 00:06:42,723 --> 00:06:47,059 We'll do this twenty times -- - Woooooo! Weightlessness! 154 00:06:47,061 --> 00:06:50,328 -- so you can get acquainted with the sensation of being weightless. 155 00:06:50,330 --> 00:06:53,998 It takes some time getting used to, but -- - Ow. 156 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,266 Agent Kane. 157 00:06:55,268 --> 00:06:56,334 Are you alright? 158 00:06:56,336 --> 00:06:57,034 Yep. 159 00:06:57,036 --> 00:06:58,002 Yep yep yep. 160 00:06:58,004 --> 00:06:59,970 What is going on with you? 161 00:06:59,972 --> 00:07:00,805 Do not like. 162 00:07:00,807 --> 00:07:01,872 What're you, crazy? 163 00:07:01,874 --> 00:07:03,874 What's not to -- 164 00:07:03,876 --> 00:07:04,608 Oh. 165 00:07:04,610 --> 00:07:06,443 No! Archer, noooo! 166 00:07:06,445 --> 00:07:07,077 Yeesss! 167 00:07:07,079 --> 00:07:09,546 Please don't do this! 168 00:07:09,548 --> 00:07:11,882 What's that? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the 169 00:07:11,884 --> 00:07:17,121 sound of the vawshiiiit! 170 00:07:17,123 --> 00:07:18,155 Looking good! 171 00:07:18,157 --> 00:07:21,158 Only nineteen more to go! 172 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:25,428 Nineteen more times... Until there was literally 173 00:07:25,430 --> 00:07:27,865 no more fluid left in my body. 174 00:07:27,867 --> 00:07:29,800 Yeah, and thanks so much for that. 175 00:07:29,802 --> 00:07:32,203 - Cyril... - She's not the one who kept riding you into it 176 00:07:32,205 --> 00:07:33,571 holding your mouth open. 177 00:07:33,573 --> 00:07:37,776 - Jeez, even in zero gravity you're an assho -- - You were saying? 178 00:07:37,778 --> 00:07:40,512 To the wet-towel wielding survivor of fifteen years of 179 00:07:40,514 --> 00:07:42,448 boarding school locker rooms? 180 00:07:42,450 --> 00:07:43,515 Wait, fifteen? 181 00:07:43,517 --> 00:07:45,351 Or -- whatever, the normal number. 182 00:07:45,353 --> 00:07:46,285 Twelve?! 183 00:07:46,287 --> 00:07:48,053 Yes, we will launch in twelve hours. 184 00:07:48,055 --> 00:07:50,622 We received another transmission from the Horizon. 185 00:07:50,624 --> 00:07:51,490 They can't wait. 186 00:07:51,492 --> 00:07:53,158 But we haven't been trained properly! 187 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,826 To what, wear a seat belt? 188 00:07:54,828 --> 00:07:56,728 Actually, is it a five-point harness, or...? 189 00:07:56,730 --> 00:08:00,097 - I admit this isn't an ideal scenario -- - Speaking of, 190 00:08:00,099 --> 00:08:02,599 what's the scenario when we get to the Horizon? 191 00:08:02,601 --> 00:08:06,069 We don't have a tactical plan, we don't-- - We'll have plenty of time 192 00:08:06,071 --> 00:08:07,704 to discuss our plan of action during the flight. 193 00:08:07,706 --> 00:08:08,839 - But -- - Lana! 194 00:08:08,841 --> 00:08:09,639 What has gotten in to you? 195 00:08:09,641 --> 00:08:13,243 - More like what got out of her... - Sir, I'm not sure Lana- 196 00:08:13,245 --> 00:08:16,179 sorry honey - is physically capable of spaceflight. 197 00:08:16,181 --> 00:08:17,514 Ray! 198 00:08:17,516 --> 00:08:19,116 Actually I may not be cut out for it. 199 00:08:19,118 --> 00:08:24,441 I'm sorry to hear that, Agent Kane... Because you're going. 200 00:08:29,997 --> 00:08:36,442 To a zone, which is one of danger. 201 00:08:41,704 --> 00:08:43,805 T-minus ninety seconds. 202 00:08:44,088 --> 00:08:46,555 Roger, Control, all systems are go. 203 00:08:46,557 --> 00:08:48,356 Next stop, Horizon. 204 00:08:48,358 --> 00:08:49,690 Okay. Archer. 205 00:08:49,692 --> 00:08:51,959 Sorry, are you talking to me? 206 00:08:51,961 --> 00:08:54,262 Or to her, who why is she here?! 207 00:08:54,264 --> 00:08:55,930 Because Tony invited me! 208 00:08:55,932 --> 00:08:56,798 Tony?! 209 00:08:56,800 --> 00:09:00,068 What, you trying to get my mother into the Million-Mile High Club?! 210 00:09:00,070 --> 00:09:00,902 Sterling! 211 00:09:00,904 --> 00:09:02,971 - Archer... - Would you calm the hell down?! 212 00:09:02,973 --> 00:09:03,771 I am calm! 213 00:09:03,773 --> 00:09:04,906 And I'm also outta here! 214 00:09:04,908 --> 00:09:06,974 Take your hands off that harness. 215 00:09:06,976 --> 00:09:07,675 Make me! 216 00:09:07,677 --> 00:09:09,410 Oh, and just so you know?! 217 00:09:09,412 --> 00:09:12,079 She -- Can't breathe. 218 00:09:12,081 --> 00:09:14,314 Uh, Flight, we're showing suit number two 219 00:09:14,316 --> 00:09:15,516 with an oh-two malfunction. 220 00:09:15,518 --> 00:09:18,351 Double-check that, Control, I'm showing green across the board. 221 00:09:18,353 --> 00:09:19,686 Stand by. 222 00:09:19,688 --> 00:09:22,822 Roger, standing by. 223 00:09:22,824 --> 00:09:24,457 Doo do doooo... - Tony, please! 224 00:09:24,459 --> 00:09:25,558 He'll behave! 225 00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:26,459 Won't he! 226 00:09:26,461 --> 00:09:27,726 Ip. 227 00:09:27,728 --> 00:09:32,698 Excellent... Because I won't- I can't - let anyone jeopardize the 228 00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:34,067 success of this mission. 229 00:09:34,069 --> 00:09:37,237 Flight, oh-two on suit two is showing normal. 230 00:09:37,239 --> 00:09:38,706 But uh, keep an eye on it. 231 00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:41,409 Oh, I will. 232 00:09:41,411 --> 00:09:43,444 - Hooray... - Resume countdown, Control. 233 00:09:43,446 --> 00:09:44,579 Roger, Flight. 234 00:09:44,581 --> 00:09:47,916 - T-minus five... four... - Exciting, isn't it? 235 00:09:47,918 --> 00:09:49,684 Three. 236 00:09:49,686 --> 00:09:50,318 Two. 237 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:50,885 One. 238 00:09:50,887 --> 00:09:51,753 I think it is. 239 00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:54,121 Ignition. 240 00:09:54,123 --> 00:09:59,059 Liftoff. 241 00:09:59,061 --> 00:10:01,562 Just relax, and rely on your training! 242 00:10:01,564 --> 00:10:03,497 Which we didn't have! 243 00:10:03,499 --> 00:10:05,599 Because Phase Two's a little rough! 244 00:10:05,601 --> 00:10:06,667 Phase Two?! 245 00:10:06,669 --> 00:10:08,568 What's Phase -- 246 00:10:08,570 --> 00:10:10,570 Aaaaaaghhhhh! 247 00:10:16,144 --> 00:10:17,944 That was Phase Two. 248 00:10:17,946 --> 00:10:19,546 Did not like. 249 00:10:19,548 --> 00:10:21,348 Wait'll you see Phase Three. 250 00:10:21,350 --> 00:10:23,217 What? 251 00:10:23,219 --> 00:10:25,587 I'm kidding, there is no Phase Three. 252 00:10:25,589 --> 00:10:26,854 Just a little space-humor. 253 00:10:26,856 --> 00:10:28,523 Yeah, funny stuff. 254 00:10:28,525 --> 00:10:30,592 Right? 255 00:10:30,594 --> 00:10:33,795 Right, then... I want to brief you all on we can expect when we dock 256 00:10:33,797 --> 00:10:34,996 with Horizon. 257 00:10:34,998 --> 00:10:37,432 Ugh, can we expect a pharmacy? 258 00:10:37,434 --> 00:10:39,167 Lana, it's not a strip mall. 259 00:10:39,169 --> 00:10:41,102 Although I assume there's a bar? 260 00:10:41,104 --> 00:10:41,770 A bar? 261 00:10:41,772 --> 00:10:43,705 Or whatever, cantina. 262 00:10:43,707 --> 00:10:44,873 Ah... No. 263 00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:46,775 Please pay attention. 264 00:10:46,777 --> 00:10:50,479 We'll dock here, move forward on foot toward Horizon's bridge, and -- 265 00:10:50,481 --> 00:10:51,580 Wait, on foot? 266 00:10:51,582 --> 00:10:54,349 Horizon has artificial gravity. 267 00:10:54,351 --> 00:10:57,019 See how it spins on its longitudinal axis? 268 00:10:57,021 --> 00:10:59,321 Lana, look at it spin. 269 00:10:59,323 --> 00:11:02,625 When we reach the bridge, we'll retake control of Horizon. 270 00:11:02,627 --> 00:11:06,695 But we can expect heavy resistance, I'm sure the mutineers are armed. 271 00:11:06,697 --> 00:11:08,764 With what, slide rules and Tang? 272 00:11:08,766 --> 00:11:13,302 The M-41 Mark Two plasma-pulse rifle with concussion grenade launcher. 273 00:11:13,304 --> 00:11:14,637 Oh shit! 274 00:11:14,639 --> 00:11:18,708 On "kill" mode, the M-41 fires lethal plasma ammunition. 275 00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:21,244 On "stun" it fires an ion pulse. 276 00:11:21,246 --> 00:11:22,778 Similar to an EMP. 277 00:11:22,780 --> 00:11:24,981 And can it be fired with an erection? 278 00:11:24,983 --> 00:11:25,381 Ugh. 279 00:11:25,383 --> 00:11:26,849 Archer! Muzzle?! 280 00:11:26,851 --> 00:11:28,417 Relax, it's on stun Lana. 281 00:11:28,419 --> 00:11:29,252 Careful. 282 00:11:29,254 --> 00:11:34,624 Even on stun it can -- - Oops. 283 00:11:34,626 --> 00:11:35,058 Clear! 284 00:11:35,060 --> 00:11:37,360 - Clear! - Clear! 285 00:11:37,362 --> 00:11:39,963 Owwwwwww! 286 00:11:39,965 --> 00:11:44,434 Whew! As I was saying, it's possible for the EMP to stop a man's heart. 287 00:11:44,436 --> 00:11:45,835 So "stun," 288 00:11:45,837 --> 00:11:47,737 maybe a bit of a misnomer. 289 00:11:47,739 --> 00:11:50,607 - Dammit, Archer... - I'm not the one who was all sweaty! 290 00:11:50,609 --> 00:11:54,244 Mr. Archer, that's twice you've jeopardized the success of this mission! 291 00:11:54,246 --> 00:11:55,679 There will not be a third! 292 00:11:55,681 --> 00:11:58,715 Uh, Flight, we have a problem... 293 00:11:58,717 --> 00:12:03,387 - Well don't look at me... - My God, on this trajectory we'll miss 294 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:04,288 Horizon! 295 00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:05,422 Control, what happened?! 296 00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:10,227 Burn rates were good, Flight, uh... stand by. 297 00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:13,464 Uh, Flight, we're showing that you are grossly overweight. 298 00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:14,632 Oh, for --! 299 00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:16,466 I wouldn't say grossly! 300 00:12:16,468 --> 00:12:17,734 I would. 301 00:12:17,736 --> 00:12:22,539 I would be well within my rights to jettison both of you into space! 302 00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:23,740 Well within them! 303 00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:24,374 Malory! 304 00:12:24,376 --> 00:12:25,141 However! 305 00:12:25,143 --> 00:12:30,513 For uh, numerous reasons - one being this ship can't actually do that - 306 00:12:30,515 --> 00:12:32,148 I've decided take you with us. 307 00:12:33,285 --> 00:12:35,319 But I want to know how you got aboard. 308 00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:37,054 Whaddya mean, how? 309 00:12:37,056 --> 00:12:42,394 Mr. Ar -- - Yeah so that safety's tricky, huh? 310 00:12:42,396 --> 00:12:42,828 Clear! 311 00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:44,997 - Clear! - Clear! 312 00:12:44,999 --> 00:12:47,533 Owwwwwww! 313 00:12:47,535 --> 00:12:52,638 - Awesome... - Son of a shitsnackin whore... - Mr. Figgis! 314 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:56,742 Lock that man in the cargo hold. 315 00:12:56,744 --> 00:12:57,543 Who, me? 316 00:12:57,545 --> 00:12:59,278 Aye freaking aye. 317 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:00,546 Ms. Archer. 318 00:13:00,548 --> 00:13:03,215 In case I need to sterilize something? 319 00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:04,416 Get strapped in. 320 00:13:04,418 --> 00:13:07,051 Agent Gillette, monitor this woman's vital signs. 321 00:13:07,053 --> 00:13:08,753 Agent Kane, come with me. 322 00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:11,322 I may need some help getting us to Horizon. 323 00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:15,360 So that we don't die writhing in agony when we run out of oxygen. 324 00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:17,830 Yeah, been there, no picnic. 325 00:13:17,832 --> 00:13:20,266 Speaking of, great for picnics. 326 00:13:20,268 --> 00:13:22,869 The tofu teriyaki, not so much. 327 00:13:22,871 --> 00:13:24,938 There's teriyaki? 328 00:13:24,940 --> 00:13:25,839 No! 329 00:13:25,841 --> 00:13:27,141 Cyril, c'mon, lemme out. 330 00:13:27,143 --> 00:13:27,775 No, you jerk! 331 00:13:27,777 --> 00:13:30,611 You shoot me in the heart with a space-blaster... - Wh-?! 332 00:13:30,613 --> 00:13:32,680 You're still mad about that?! 333 00:13:32,682 --> 00:13:36,984 Not to mention whatever idiot reason you had for smuggling Pam on board! 334 00:13:36,986 --> 00:13:38,486 You're screwin him, aren'tcha? 335 00:13:38,488 --> 00:13:41,021 Whaaaaaaaat? 336 00:13:41,023 --> 00:13:41,622 Yes. 337 00:13:41,624 --> 00:13:42,456 No! 338 00:13:42,458 --> 00:13:45,693 Because if we don't die, for all I care you can rot in there! 339 00:13:45,695 --> 00:13:48,095 Cyril?! Cyril! 340 00:13:48,097 --> 00:13:57,038 Well good luck fighting a bunch of whatever, space-pirates without me. 341 00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:00,007 you, space. 342 00:14:05,388 --> 00:14:10,425 Come on baby, just a few more seconds! 343 00:14:10,427 --> 00:14:12,260 Damn it! 344 00:14:12,790 --> 00:14:14,356 I don't know if that was a long enough burn! 345 00:14:14,358 --> 00:14:17,493 Agent Kane, I need a readout! 346 00:14:17,495 --> 00:14:19,663 For God's sake, woman, Dramamine! 347 00:14:19,665 --> 00:14:22,499 - It makes me sleepy... - I think we're okay, sir! 348 00:14:22,501 --> 00:14:23,834 Thank God. 349 00:14:23,836 --> 00:14:25,769 Because we're out of fuel. 350 00:14:25,771 --> 00:14:26,403 What?! 351 00:14:26,405 --> 00:14:28,139 How are we gonna get back to Earth?! 352 00:14:28,141 --> 00:14:30,041 There is fuel. 353 00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:31,075 On Horizon. 354 00:14:31,077 --> 00:14:33,010 Well I didn't know that. 355 00:14:33,012 --> 00:14:34,612 The flight computer will dock the ship. 356 00:14:34,614 --> 00:14:35,980 Assemble the boarding party. 357 00:14:35,982 --> 00:14:38,183 Nor was I told there would be a party. 358 00:14:38,185 --> 00:14:39,284 Lana, what're you wearing? 359 00:14:39,286 --> 00:14:41,920 Bio-matrix composite body armor. 360 00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:43,489 Effective against small-arms fire. 361 00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:45,658 And we need all the help we can get. 362 00:14:45,660 --> 00:14:47,260 Since there's only four of us. 363 00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:49,829 Yeah, that seems kinda... few. 364 00:14:49,831 --> 00:14:51,864 - Heck, if you need some help, I'll -- - No! 365 00:14:51,866 --> 00:14:54,834 We can't jeopardize the women! 366 00:14:54,836 --> 00:14:55,734 Cough. 367 00:14:55,736 --> 00:14:57,602 - Well not you... - No, no, no, Agent Kane, 368 00:14:57,604 --> 00:15:01,939 I'm afraid your particular skill-set outweighs your -- 369 00:15:01,941 --> 00:15:04,041 Docking complete. 370 00:15:04,043 --> 00:15:05,209 Is that a ghost? 371 00:15:05,211 --> 00:15:05,743 Nope. 372 00:15:05,745 --> 00:15:07,478 Boarding party, into the airlock. 373 00:15:08,247 --> 00:15:09,714 Gravity engaged. 374 00:15:09,716 --> 00:15:12,717 Weapons on stun, fast and hard to the bridge. 375 00:15:12,719 --> 00:15:14,619 And remember, these are mutineers. 376 00:15:14,621 --> 00:15:24,330 Even if they try to say -- - Suppressing fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiire! 377 00:15:24,332 --> 00:15:25,898 Otherwise. 378 00:15:25,900 --> 00:15:26,699 Just follow me. 379 00:15:26,701 --> 00:15:29,502 And try not to shoot me in the awshit! 380 00:15:29,504 --> 00:15:30,370 What the hell. 381 00:15:30,372 --> 00:15:31,571 Is wrong with me? 382 00:15:31,573 --> 00:15:33,473 It's the artificial gravity! 383 00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:35,208 You have to readjust to it! 384 00:15:35,210 --> 00:15:38,844 - I'll get my inner ear right on that... - We don't have time 385 00:15:38,846 --> 00:15:40,546 for this, they're -- - There they are! 386 00:15:40,548 --> 00:15:41,280 Get 'em, get 'em! 387 00:15:41,282 --> 00:15:41,980 Drop your weapons! 388 00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:43,114 Drop your weapons! 389 00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:50,287 Suppressing -- So does this run on batteries, or...? 390 00:15:50,289 --> 00:15:54,392 Fiiiiire! 391 00:15:54,394 --> 00:15:58,230 Get some! Get some! 392 00:15:58,232 --> 00:15:59,731 We're pinned down! 393 00:15:59,733 --> 00:16:00,933 Really? 394 00:16:00,935 --> 00:16:03,469 You don't think I could rock this? 395 00:16:03,471 --> 00:16:07,339 Couple things... One, I don't know what that means. 396 00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:10,410 And two... hang on. 397 00:16:10,412 --> 00:16:12,512 Hang on. 398 00:16:12,514 --> 00:16:15,848 Hang on. 399 00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:17,850 Hang on. 400 00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:25,823 And two, you obviously don't know what "boarding party" means. 401 00:16:25,825 --> 00:16:30,094 Who am I, sixteenth-century female Irish pirate Gráinne O'Malley? 402 00:16:30,096 --> 00:16:32,596 Or her sole female descendant! 403 00:16:32,598 --> 00:16:33,797 I'm sorry. 404 00:16:33,799 --> 00:16:34,331 For what? 405 00:16:34,333 --> 00:16:36,800 Space-blastering me in the frickin tits?! 406 00:16:36,802 --> 00:16:38,969 Or tricking me into that fart-locker to get blasted into 407 00:16:38,971 --> 00:16:44,375 outer goddamn space on the off chance you might wanna bang me! 408 00:16:44,377 --> 00:16:47,178 - Both I guess, look -- - After you blew me off 409 00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:49,815 for Katya the big-titted cyborg! 410 00:16:49,817 --> 00:16:52,884 Littleiss, uh... - R2-double-D2? 411 00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:53,852 Nice. 412 00:16:53,854 --> 00:16:56,988 Thanks, and I'm sorry, but you gotta let me out, Pam, 413 00:16:56,990 --> 00:16:59,357 they're fighting space-pirates out there! 414 00:16:59,359 --> 00:17:01,325 With Cyril! 415 00:17:01,327 --> 00:17:03,027 It's supposed to fire. 416 00:17:03,029 --> 00:17:04,562 What is wrong with you? 417 00:17:04,564 --> 00:17:06,464 And Lana can't even stand up! 418 00:17:06,466 --> 00:17:09,700 You idiot, just reset the -- unghff! 419 00:17:09,702 --> 00:17:12,436 Jesus, like a dog in a station wagon. 420 00:17:12,438 --> 00:17:13,770 No, no! 421 00:17:13,772 --> 00:17:15,339 We're losing the beachhead! 422 00:17:15,341 --> 00:17:17,207 They're running out of time, Pam! 423 00:17:17,209 --> 00:17:24,648 - Oh, alright... - That being said... quickie? 424 00:17:24,650 --> 00:17:27,450 Meh. 425 00:17:27,452 --> 00:17:28,417 Whew! 426 00:17:28,419 --> 00:17:29,685 Okay, good luck. 427 00:17:29,687 --> 00:17:31,587 Thanks, normally I'd say I don't need it, 428 00:17:31,589 --> 00:17:33,456 but I can barely feel my legs. 429 00:17:33,458 --> 00:17:35,458 I call that the MOAB. 430 00:17:35,460 --> 00:17:37,093 It stands for -- - I know! 431 00:17:37,095 --> 00:17:40,229 What it stands for, I was there, please don't say it out loud. 432 00:17:40,231 --> 00:17:48,104 Now if you'll excuse me, I need to... Kick some space-pirate ass! 433 00:17:48,106 --> 00:17:48,972 Woooooo! 434 00:17:48,974 --> 00:17:49,806 Archer?! 435 00:17:49,808 --> 00:17:50,707 Hang on? 436 00:17:50,709 --> 00:17:52,009 Yes, Archer, duh. 437 00:17:52,011 --> 00:17:56,314 And if you're done doing each other's hair, let's -- - Let's retake the shiiiiip! 438 00:17:56,316 --> 00:17:59,117 Or just run around interrupting people. 439 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:01,019 Gagh! I'm hit, I'm hit! 440 00:18:01,021 --> 00:18:05,290 Oh, for -- Do I have to do everything? 441 00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:08,593 He asked, intending to be facetious! 442 00:18:08,595 --> 00:18:09,294 I'm sorry! 443 00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:10,929 I don't know what's wrong with me! 444 00:18:10,931 --> 00:18:13,130 Besides suffering from gigantism?! 445 00:18:13,132 --> 00:18:13,898 Shut up. 446 00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:14,598 The bridge! 447 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:17,733 We have to make it to the -- - The bridge, yes, I heard you! 448 00:18:17,735 --> 00:18:20,068 So unless we're going the wrong way...! 449 00:18:20,070 --> 00:18:21,436 Uhh... oh. 450 00:18:21,438 --> 00:18:22,370 No, that's it right there. 451 00:18:22,372 --> 00:18:24,372 Then shut up! God! 452 00:18:24,374 --> 00:18:25,372 Okay, now what? 453 00:18:25,374 --> 00:18:26,306 You can un-shut up. 454 00:18:26,308 --> 00:18:30,009 The com-link, by the door... Commander Kellogg? 455 00:18:30,011 --> 00:18:30,709 It's Drake! 456 00:18:30,711 --> 00:18:31,677 Tony?! 457 00:18:31,679 --> 00:18:34,212 "Tony?!" 458 00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:36,281 Oh my God, am I glad to see you! 459 00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:37,749 We couldn't have held out much longer! 460 00:18:37,751 --> 00:18:40,251 Well, we got here as fast as we could. 461 00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:41,285 My God, you're wounded. 462 00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:45,189 Put him here, please, and we'll take those... - Uh, oh. 463 00:18:45,191 --> 00:18:48,525 Yeah, here you go... - Oh dear, are you wounded too? 464 00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:50,927 - No, just -- - Just a little space-sickness. 465 00:18:50,929 --> 00:18:52,662 But eventually she'll get acclimated. 466 00:18:52,664 --> 00:18:54,464 I -- eventually? 467 00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:57,433 Yes, she's strong, good breeding stock. 468 00:18:57,435 --> 00:18:58,301 Wh-?! Hey! 469 00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:01,571 Whoa, Charles Benedict Davenport. 470 00:19:01,573 --> 00:19:03,873 Uh, the father of eugenics. 471 00:19:03,875 --> 00:19:05,241 Seriously guys, read a book. 472 00:19:05,243 --> 00:19:09,812 And two more on the Intrepid, stowaways, almost as good as her. 473 00:19:09,814 --> 00:19:10,779 Two more?! 474 00:19:10,781 --> 00:19:14,182 Then we can populate Mars even faster than we'd hoped! 475 00:19:14,184 --> 00:19:15,083 - What? - What? 476 00:19:15,085 --> 00:19:16,784 Did you say Mars?! 477 00:19:16,786 --> 00:19:20,287 Oh now your ears -- wait, why did you say Mars? 478 00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:23,391 Don't you see? 479 00:19:23,393 --> 00:19:26,580 They're the mutineers! 480 00:19:31,766 --> 00:19:37,195 Welcome to the... Danger Zone! 481 00:19:37,784 --> 00:19:48,309 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com