1
00:00:01,841 --> 00:00:03,440
Wait, here's an idea:
2
00:00:03,442 --> 00:00:05,713
you talk louder, and maybe
they'll just come to us.
3
00:00:05,715 --> 00:00:07,714
We'd lose the
element of surprise Lana.
4
00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:08,715
That was sarcasm!
5
00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:10,142
No way, really?
6
00:00:10,262 --> 00:00:11,654
Because so was that, just now.
7
00:00:11,656 --> 00:00:14,089
I pretty much
insist that you shut up.
8
00:00:14,091 --> 00:00:15,256
Oh shit, they're in the armory.
9
00:00:15,258 --> 00:00:17,594
Good, then we got 'em,
this is the only way out.
10
00:00:17,596 --> 00:00:18,962
Of the armory.
11
00:00:18,964 --> 00:00:19,796
I heard you.
12
00:00:19,798 --> 00:00:23,135
And I can also read, so --
So what's in the armory?
13
00:00:23,137 --> 00:00:26,070
Burglars, Lana, that's
why I'm here and not up
14
00:00:26,072 --> 00:00:27,437
to my ears in stewardess.
15
00:00:27,439 --> 00:00:29,005
What else is in the armory.
16
00:00:29,007 --> 00:00:31,674
Well, there's a bunch of automatic
weapons, rocket launchers, um,
17
00:00:31,676 --> 00:00:34,543
about a jillion grenades, oh.
18
00:00:34,545 --> 00:00:36,178
They may have fire superiority.
19
00:00:36,180 --> 00:00:37,211
Ya think?
20
00:00:37,213 --> 00:00:40,416
Lana, for all we know they're building
a gundam-suit with bazookas for hands.
21
00:00:40,418 --> 00:00:41,952
Really wish we had some backup.
22
00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:43,154
Who, Cyril?
23
00:00:43,156 --> 00:00:46,292
Or ooh, maybe Ray could run
over them with his wheelchair!
24
00:00:46,294 --> 00:00:50,129
That was also sarcasm, since apparently
now we're saying whenever we do it.
25
00:00:50,131 --> 00:00:51,865
- Are you ready?
- No.
26
00:00:51,867 --> 00:00:55,336
Sarcasm again, yes I'm ready.
27
00:01:04,316 --> 00:01:05,383
What the hell are you doing?!
28
00:01:05,385 --> 00:01:06,784
- Nothing!
- Archer!
29
00:01:06,786 --> 00:01:09,521
What! The hell are you doing?
30
00:01:09,523 --> 00:01:11,190
Nothin. What're y'all doing?
31
00:01:11,192 --> 00:01:15,361
The alarm company called us because
the motion sensors were going off.
32
00:01:15,363 --> 00:01:16,228
Dukes!
33
00:01:16,230 --> 00:01:20,600
Yeah, the rest of us got new
keycodes Monday, but you were...
34
00:01:20,602 --> 00:01:21,301
where was it?
35
00:01:21,303 --> 00:01:22,469
Physical therapy.
36
00:01:22,471 --> 00:01:25,272
For your limp, useless legs.
37
00:01:25,274 --> 00:01:27,976
Well it's obviously working,
you're on a -- wait a minute!
38
00:01:27,978 --> 00:01:30,178
How the hell are you walking
around on ladders?!
39
00:01:30,180 --> 00:01:31,814
Because he's not paralyzed!
40
00:01:31,816 --> 00:01:34,116
And is that not
the stuff of miracles?
41
00:01:34,118 --> 00:01:37,320
You lying little --
I never said I was paralyzed!
42
00:01:37,322 --> 00:01:38,754
Y'all just assumed I was!
43
00:01:38,756 --> 00:01:41,090
Because you left the
hospital in a wheelchair!
44
00:01:41,092 --> 00:01:42,558
They make you!
45
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:46,028
And then I couldn't get a cab, so I
just got back in the chair, and...
46
00:01:46,030 --> 00:01:48,229
Spent the last six months
pretending to be handicapped.
47
00:01:48,231 --> 00:01:49,231
Handi-capable.
48
00:01:49,233 --> 00:01:51,666
So before I kick this
ladder over in the hopes of
49
00:01:51,668 --> 00:01:54,268
paralyzing you for real, why
are you in here stealing
50
00:01:54,270 --> 00:01:58,172
guns and grenades and what better
not be my night vision goggles?!
51
00:01:58,174 --> 00:02:00,975
I kinda have
some family problems.
52
00:02:00,977 --> 00:02:05,279
So your brother, the drug dealer--
He's not a drug dealer!
53
00:02:05,281 --> 00:02:06,381
He's a drug farmer.
54
00:02:06,383 --> 00:02:09,485
Whatever, is gonna be murdered
by your hometown's crooked sheriff?
55
00:02:09,487 --> 00:02:13,923
E.Z. Ponder, yes, and he used
to bully me so bad in high school...
56
00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:14,857
Nooo!
57
00:02:14,859 --> 00:02:15,992
Ray, that was sarcasm.
58
00:02:15,994 --> 00:02:18,027
Anyway, he wants
Randy's dope farm for
59
00:02:18,029 --> 00:02:21,864
himself or he's gonna kill him, so I
gotta go down there and... stop him.
60
00:02:21,866 --> 00:02:23,565
- Count me in.
- What?! Why?!
61
00:02:23,567 --> 00:02:27,569
Well for one thing it's eerily
similar to the plot of White Lightning.
62
00:02:27,571 --> 00:02:29,337
And this is Ray's brother, Lana.
63
00:02:29,339 --> 00:02:31,439
What's more important than family?
64
00:02:31,441 --> 00:02:35,410
Getting hammered on moonshine and
trying to bang skanky trailer-chicks?
65
00:02:35,412 --> 00:02:36,311
Trying?
66
00:02:36,313 --> 00:02:38,146
Oh, that reminds me.
67
00:02:38,148 --> 00:02:43,018
- They all think I'm married to like,
a woman, so... - Oh alright,
68
00:02:43,020 --> 00:02:43,852
I'll be your beard.
69
00:02:43,854 --> 00:02:45,454
What're you, insane?
70
00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:47,652
"Hey y'all, here's my great
big ol' black wife!"
71
00:02:47,772 --> 00:02:49,405
Wh-?
- Lana, c'mon.
72
00:02:49,525 --> 00:02:51,452
You're gigantic.
73
00:02:52,050 --> 00:03:02,387
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
74
00:03:26,169 --> 00:03:29,505
Now what's all this nonsense
about a break-in last night?
75
00:03:29,507 --> 00:03:35,211
I swear to God, if Krieger was doing more
of his -- what's his new awful thing?
76
00:03:35,213 --> 00:03:38,982
Ultimate Bum Shockfights, and no,
it looks like it was an actual break-in.
77
00:03:38,984 --> 00:03:40,183
- What?!
- Jeezy Petes!
78
00:03:40,185 --> 00:03:41,551
Did they get
into the mainframe?!
79
00:03:41,553 --> 00:03:45,054
I... don't know, but --
We need Sterling, where is he?!
80
00:03:45,056 --> 00:03:48,590
He's tracking down, um, leads.
81
00:03:48,592 --> 00:03:50,192
From the clues.
82
00:03:50,194 --> 00:03:51,426
That there were some of.
83
00:03:51,428 --> 00:03:52,494
What kind of clues?
84
00:03:52,496 --> 00:03:55,330
The kind I'm gonna show
you, if you're not too busy
85
00:03:55,332 --> 00:03:56,998
shutting up to come on.
86
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,435
And put Sterling through
to me the minute he calls in!
87
00:03:59,437 --> 00:04:03,272
Which I guess will be never...
So, are there just no towers here?
88
00:04:03,274 --> 00:04:05,709
Or have we literally gone back in time?
89
00:04:05,711 --> 00:04:06,476
Both?
90
00:04:06,478 --> 00:04:08,612
Ow, you dumb idiot!
91
00:04:08,614 --> 00:04:10,948
- Great... Great...
- Why am I in a,
92
00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:12,549
whatever, dune buggy?
93
00:04:12,551 --> 00:04:15,853
Remember? We picked you up last
night, said we were going on a trip?
94
00:04:15,855 --> 00:04:17,255
No, and to where?
95
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,891
Six Flags Over The Shittier
Parts of Chernobyl?
96
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:21,692
Ferlin, West Virginia.
97
00:04:21,694 --> 00:04:24,261
Yeah, and you
and Ray are married.
98
00:04:24,263 --> 00:04:26,029
Oh my God
oh my God oh my God!
99
00:04:26,031 --> 00:04:27,830
We're not actually --
Actually it'll be better if she thinks --
100
00:04:27,832 --> 00:04:31,000
- We're marrieeeeed...
- Super.
101
00:04:31,002 --> 00:04:31,968
Ray, look out!
102
00:04:31,970 --> 00:04:34,169
Wh-?!
103
00:04:35,139 --> 00:04:38,740
is that the sheriff, and have
you recently gone insane.
104
00:04:38,742 --> 00:04:40,108
Yes and no.
105
00:04:40,110 --> 00:04:40,976
Respectively?
106
00:04:40,978 --> 00:04:43,613
Now I know that ain't
who I think it is!
107
00:04:43,615 --> 00:04:45,982
No shit! Ray Gillet!
108
00:04:45,984 --> 00:04:47,717
- Gillet?
- How'n the hell are ya?
109
00:04:47,719 --> 00:04:49,685
Pretty good, E.Z.
How you doin?
110
00:04:49,687 --> 00:04:51,187
Aw, can't complain.
111
00:04:51,189 --> 00:04:54,923
And nobody'd listen if I did!
112
00:04:54,925 --> 00:04:56,425
I hear that.
113
00:04:56,427 --> 00:04:58,360
You hear what.
114
00:04:58,362 --> 00:04:59,861
Not?
115
00:04:59,863 --> 00:05:01,829
That?
116
00:05:01,831 --> 00:05:03,698
What brings you
back up the holler?
117
00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:10,837
Oh you know, just wanted to show
off my pretty new bride to the home folks.
118
00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:12,739
She is that.
119
00:05:12,741 --> 00:05:15,342
For a minute there I's thinkin
maybe you come back to help yer
120
00:05:15,344 --> 00:05:19,380
brother out with his...
business concern.
121
00:05:19,382 --> 00:05:20,948
Naw, just back for a visit.
122
00:05:20,950 --> 00:05:22,851
Well, make
sure it's a short one.
123
00:05:22,853 --> 00:05:27,656
'Cause believe me when I tell you,
ain't nothin you can do to help him.
124
00:05:27,658 --> 00:05:30,792
Y'all drive safe now, hear?
125
00:05:30,794 --> 00:05:33,461
Man, is it me or
is he super-menacing?
126
00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:34,763
Or super-hot?
127
00:05:34,765 --> 00:05:36,131
Hey! Remember?!
128
00:05:36,133 --> 00:05:37,166
We're married?!
129
00:05:37,168 --> 00:05:39,301
Not until
it's consummated.
130
00:05:39,303 --> 00:05:45,807
I'll drive if you wanna
hop back there and um enter her.
131
00:05:45,809 --> 00:05:49,711
So not only is Ray not paralyzed,
but his brother is a drug dealer --
132
00:05:49,713 --> 00:05:52,481
Farmer. And he and
Archer are in West Virginia doing...
133
00:05:52,483 --> 00:05:53,549
what the heck are they doing?
134
00:05:53,551 --> 00:05:55,717
Fighting a war
on the war on drugs?
135
00:05:55,719 --> 00:05:56,752
God damn it.
136
00:05:56,754 --> 00:05:58,854
What, you shoulda
looked under the stalls!
137
00:05:58,856 --> 00:05:59,822
I did!
138
00:05:59,824 --> 00:06:03,024
- Wait, I did...
- Yeah, I usually put my feet up on the grab bars.
139
00:06:03,026 --> 00:06:05,993
Ugh, anyway, this is
all obviously unauthorized,
140
00:06:05,995 --> 00:06:08,830
- but I promised Ray we'd cover for him, so...
- Oh, no!
141
00:06:08,832 --> 00:06:12,200
I'm not getting mixed up in this,
and if Ms. Archer asks me --
142
00:06:12,202 --> 00:06:15,470
Why is it...
That every time I need to use the restroom,
143
00:06:15,472 --> 00:06:19,040
you people are in here skulking
around looking guilty?
144
00:06:19,042 --> 00:06:23,645
- Uh...
- I'll tell you why they look guilty...
145
00:06:23,647 --> 00:06:26,848
Because they, or we I
guess, don't know how to tell
146
00:06:26,850 --> 00:06:31,286
you that the break-in was a
lot worse than we thought.
147
00:06:31,288 --> 00:06:32,487
How much worse?!
148
00:06:32,489 --> 00:06:36,458
- Uh, well, it's really hard to say...
- But rest assured we are on
149
00:06:36,460 --> 00:06:39,294
it, and Archer is on it, and...
we're on it.
150
00:06:39,296 --> 00:06:42,364
Well I want an
update in one hour!
151
00:06:42,366 --> 00:06:45,300
And why does it always reek of paint?
152
00:06:45,302 --> 00:06:48,236
Well, there she is...
The old homestead.
153
00:06:48,238 --> 00:06:49,804
Jesus, what's my dowry?
154
00:06:49,806 --> 00:06:50,571
Tenus?
155
00:06:50,573 --> 00:06:52,140
Ya know what?
156
00:06:52,142 --> 00:06:55,209
That's
far enough, you sonsabitches!
157
00:06:55,211 --> 00:06:56,577
Randy, it's me! Ray!
158
00:06:56,579 --> 00:06:57,678
Your brother!
159
00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:58,713
Don't you move.
160
00:06:58,715 --> 00:06:59,647
Don't move a inch.
161
00:06:59,649 --> 00:07:01,283
Wh-?
What do you mean "don't move"?!
162
00:07:01,285 --> 00:07:02,818
I came home to help, you asshole!
163
00:07:02,820 --> 00:07:05,755
Well you ain't gonna be much
help with your legs blown off.
164
00:07:05,757 --> 00:07:07,757
There's mines all in the yard.
165
00:07:07,759 --> 00:07:12,062
Ray, to be honest, I'm having
second thoughts about this whole thing --
166
00:07:12,064 --> 00:07:12,897
Get in line.
167
00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:14,665
Randy Gillet,
where are your manners?!
168
00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:18,769
Get these folks the map of that damn
minefield so they can come inside.
169
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:23,975
- I got some nice hot pie for 'em...
- Okay, now I'm having third thoughts.
170
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:25,176
Please don't.
171
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:27,111
It would be rude
not to eat her pie.
172
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:30,981
Which I assume is not
only hot but also moist.
173
00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:32,919
Although hopefully not flaky.
174
00:07:34,415 --> 00:07:36,216
And so E.Z. gimme a choice.
175
00:07:36,218 --> 00:07:39,453
Give him my whole dang operation and
get outta the holler by sundown,
176
00:07:39,455 --> 00:07:43,323
or else him and his boys'll just take
it, and grind me up into fertilizer.
177
00:07:43,325 --> 00:07:45,592
Well --
But listen to me, just yappin.
178
00:07:45,594 --> 00:07:48,561
Tell me bout this pretty
new wife of yours!
179
00:07:48,563 --> 00:07:52,365
'Cause I'm kinda surprised
to see you married.
180
00:07:52,367 --> 00:07:54,333
Homeboy knows what I'm talking about!
181
00:07:54,335 --> 00:07:55,067
He does?
182
00:07:55,069 --> 00:07:58,336
A New York City
interior decorator?
183
00:07:58,338 --> 00:07:59,771
That's what you went with?
184
00:07:59,773 --> 00:08:02,206
Betcher up to
yer eyeballs in poontang!
185
00:08:02,208 --> 00:08:05,710
Oh.
Yeah, just so many vaginas.
186
00:08:05,712 --> 00:08:09,780
- No offense, darlin...
- None taken.
187
00:08:09,782 --> 00:08:12,316
- Want s'more of my pie, Mr. Archer?
- No!
188
00:08:12,318 --> 00:08:17,422
Yes! Thank you, Janelle, I would
love more of your moist and hot pie.
189
00:08:17,424 --> 00:08:21,293
- Well then open wiiide...
- Folks, we can't set
190
00:08:21,295 --> 00:08:23,195
around eatin her pie all day.
191
00:08:23,197 --> 00:08:24,697
We got a situation here.
192
00:08:24,699 --> 00:08:27,233
So Krieger's running the
logs to see if any files were
193
00:08:27,235 --> 00:08:28,267
accessed last night.
194
00:08:28,269 --> 00:08:31,136
- Who the hell could have done this?
- Who knows? ODIN, the KGB, um...
195
00:08:31,138 --> 00:08:35,674
Actually--
But this'll take hours so
196
00:08:35,676 --> 00:08:37,543
we'll just bring you a
report when he's done!
197
00:08:37,545 --> 00:08:38,844
Actually --
Krieger!
198
00:08:38,846 --> 00:08:39,712
More type, less gripe.
199
00:08:39,714 --> 00:08:41,647
And has anyone
heard from Sterling?
200
00:08:41,649 --> 00:08:42,848
No, yes!
201
00:08:42,850 --> 00:08:45,450
He's out... on the case.
202
00:08:45,452 --> 00:08:48,220
Well, I want
some answers, and soon.
203
00:08:48,222 --> 00:08:50,356
And since there's
nothing in these logs,
204
00:08:50,358 --> 00:08:52,592
I too would like some answers.
205
00:08:52,594 --> 00:08:56,430
- So, here's the thing...
- If I can just get what I
206
00:08:56,432 --> 00:08:58,632
got to my distributor, I can retire.
207
00:08:58,634 --> 00:09:00,635
Maybe move up to New
York City with you.
208
00:09:00,637 --> 00:09:02,604
I -- what, where, do what?!
209
00:09:02,606 --> 00:09:03,838
I'm kiddin.
210
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:06,574
Last thing you want's your redneck
brother hangin around...
211
00:09:06,576 --> 00:09:10,511
No, it's not that, it's --
Plus I'd rather kill myself.
212
00:09:10,513 --> 00:09:13,715
Nothin up there but a
buncha you-know-whats.
213
00:09:13,717 --> 00:09:14,982
There are a lot of 'em.
214
00:09:14,984 --> 00:09:17,852
Don't see how you stand it.
215
00:09:17,854 --> 00:09:20,488
- Anyhow...
- Dude.
216
00:09:20,490 --> 00:09:21,255
Awesome.
217
00:09:21,257 --> 00:09:22,190
Sweet gracious God.
218
00:09:22,192 --> 00:09:23,891
This here's what E.Z.
219
00:09:23,893 --> 00:09:24,859
wants.
220
00:09:24,861 --> 00:09:27,562
- How did you afford all this?!
- Farm subsidy.
221
00:09:27,564 --> 00:09:30,732
He told the government he's growin
corn, for that high-flooktose syrup.
222
00:09:30,734 --> 00:09:33,668
But damned if I'm gonna
contribute to the obesity epidemic.
223
00:09:33,670 --> 00:09:35,503
A man's gotta have a code.
224
00:09:35,505 --> 00:09:36,270
Right?
225
00:09:36,272 --> 00:09:39,807
I put my heart and soul into this,
but now it's either roll over
226
00:09:39,809 --> 00:09:43,144
for that sheriff like a dog, or fight.
227
00:09:43,146 --> 00:09:45,113
Like a different, better dog.
228
00:09:45,115 --> 00:09:46,247
So is it just E.Z.
229
00:09:46,249 --> 00:09:49,351
coming, or --
No, the whole sheriff's department.
230
00:09:49,353 --> 00:09:54,656
I'd say twenty men, AR-15's,
maybe grenades, uh... oh, dogs.
231
00:09:54,658 --> 00:09:55,290
Duh.
232
00:09:55,292 --> 00:09:56,958
Ray, I'm having
fourth thoughts.
233
00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,627
Well I got a few
tricks up my sleeve.
234
00:09:59,629 --> 00:10:03,865
Janelle, why dontcha take Mr. Archer
and show him the defensive perimeter.
235
00:10:03,867 --> 00:10:06,868
- I'd be delighted...
- No, no, wait a second --
236
00:10:06,870 --> 00:10:08,236
- Fifth thoughts!
- Archer!
237
00:10:08,238 --> 00:10:10,238
Don't worry, she won't bite.
238
00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:12,374
But speakin of, it's about suppertime.
239
00:10:12,376 --> 00:10:14,109
You still partial to fried chicken?
240
00:10:14,111 --> 00:10:16,144
I --
I'll cook it!
241
00:10:16,146 --> 00:10:18,680
If somebody shaves it or whatever.
242
00:10:18,682 --> 00:10:19,714
What in the...?
243
00:10:19,716 --> 00:10:20,815
Janelle?! Janelle!
244
00:10:20,817 --> 00:10:22,550
Randy! Wait!
245
00:10:22,552 --> 00:10:23,451
Dukes!
246
00:10:23,453 --> 00:10:27,222
So is there like,
special chickenshaving cream, or...?
247
00:10:27,224 --> 00:10:29,524
I -- first of
all, that's a rooster!
248
00:10:29,526 --> 00:10:32,428
Yeah, like Kenny Rogers' Roosters --
Roasters!
249
00:10:32,430 --> 00:10:34,363
Randy, wait!
250
00:10:34,365 --> 00:10:35,765
Bawk bawk.
251
00:10:35,767 --> 00:10:38,001
And just what
the hell is this?!
252
00:10:38,003 --> 00:10:42,473
Well, I'll tell you what it's
not, which is, um, what it looks like.
253
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:45,376
I got caught on the fence, then
Mr. Archer tried to get me loose, and --
254
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:48,545
You better git
yer ass in that house.
255
00:10:48,547 --> 00:10:50,848
Do you wanna have sex with my wife?
256
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:55,519
No I swear, this was just an extremely
unlikely mishap with the barbed wire.
257
00:10:55,521 --> 00:10:59,556
'Cause we would be
amenable to that. Well?
258
00:10:59,558 --> 00:11:00,591
Why you look so nonplussed?
259
00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:04,194
Because I wasn't sure if you
knew what amenable actually meant.
260
00:11:04,196 --> 00:11:06,564
Until you followed it
up with nonplussed.
261
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:09,534
See, me and Janelle got
us one of them open marriages?
262
00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:10,668
Like in France?
263
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,070
Oh right, in Europe.
264
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:16,842
And I would really like that open
marriage to include Ray's new wife.
265
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:17,443
What?!
266
00:11:17,445 --> 00:11:19,445
- Now look, that's in the bible.
- Really?
267
00:11:19,447 --> 00:11:22,114
- Genesis thirty-eight, verse eight.
- Really?
268
00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:24,383
But even though Ray used
to be a preacher he was never
269
00:11:24,385 --> 00:11:26,384
big on the Old Testament --
I could see that.
270
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,453
So I doubt he'd
wanna reciprocate.
271
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:32,957
So I just need you to keep him busy
while I have sex with his wife...
272
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:36,594
And then I get to have sex with--
My wife, you son of a bitch!
273
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:39,730
Yeah, I think I got --
So where the hell's your damn pants?!
274
00:11:39,732 --> 00:11:40,798
They're on the fence.
275
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,065
Goddammit, Archer!
276
00:11:42,067 --> 00:11:44,101
Wait, hang on --
Archer shut up!
277
00:11:44,103 --> 00:11:51,076
Ray, he was -- and poor Janelle
was -- I gotta go make sure she's okay!
278
00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:53,712
And you better have a talk with him!
279
00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:55,448
I will, Randy, I'm sorry.
280
00:11:55,450 --> 00:11:56,682
A good long talk.
281
00:11:56,684 --> 00:12:00,987
Like, talk for about forty,
forty-five minutes.
282
00:12:00,989 --> 00:12:02,755
Okay, so --
Stop!
283
00:12:02,757 --> 00:12:08,494
I have never, in my entire life, been
as disgusted as I am at this moment.
284
00:12:08,496 --> 00:12:12,497
- Well, give it a minute...
- What do you mean, a cyber-attack?!
285
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:16,768
Apparently the uders downloaded
a virus into the mainframe...
286
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:18,903
So this all needs to come out.
287
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,771
The mainframe is
like Krieger's baby.
288
00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:22,239
How'd you get him to go in on this?
289
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:25,810
I told him I'd get Pam to fight
in his Ultimate Bum Shockfights.
290
00:12:25,812 --> 00:12:30,048
Is it called that because paying
homeless men to fight is shocking?
291
00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:31,517
Noop.
292
00:12:31,519 --> 00:12:34,286
Well, hello there, game-changer.
293
00:12:34,288 --> 00:12:35,855
He what?!
294
00:12:35,857 --> 00:12:37,290
Yeah, apparently
it's in the bible?
295
00:12:37,292 --> 00:12:38,258
No, it isn't!
296
00:12:38,260 --> 00:12:40,794
It did sound too
cool for the bible.
297
00:12:40,796 --> 00:12:41,729
But why do you care?
298
00:12:41,731 --> 00:12:44,799
A, you're gay, and B, you and
Carol aren't really married.
299
00:12:44,801 --> 00:12:46,634
But Randy thinks we are!
300
00:12:46,636 --> 00:12:49,003
Yeah, but -- that's
actually a really good point.
301
00:12:49,005 --> 00:12:51,672
I'm gonna beat
him like a rented mule!
302
00:12:51,674 --> 00:12:54,642
Now that sounds like
something from the bible.
303
00:12:54,644 --> 00:12:56,444
- She in there?
- Yeah, where's mine at?
304
00:12:56,446 --> 00:12:57,945
Up'n the woods with Ray.
305
00:12:57,947 --> 00:12:59,813
You gotta wait til later,
maybe after supper.
306
00:12:59,815 --> 00:13:01,615
Remember, no kissing.
307
00:13:01,617 --> 00:13:05,084
I was -- that
is the wierdest rule.
308
00:13:05,086 --> 00:13:06,085
I know, right?
309
00:13:06,087 --> 00:13:07,387
Some honeymoon.
310
00:13:07,389 --> 00:13:09,556
Oh hey, do I do the face?
311
00:13:09,558 --> 00:13:12,159
And where the hell
is Sterling when I need him?
312
00:13:12,161 --> 00:13:14,194
You've reached
Sterling Archer's voicemail.
313
00:13:14,196 --> 00:13:15,562
Please leave a message.
314
00:13:15,564 --> 00:13:19,066
Wh-?
Finally, a non-idiotic greeting!
315
00:13:19,068 --> 00:13:23,537
Sterling, I want an update, so call
me the instant you get this mess --
316
00:13:23,539 --> 00:13:26,441
- The voice mailbox of...
- Sterling Archer.
317
00:13:26,443 --> 00:13:28,744
...is full. Goodbye.
318
00:13:28,746 --> 00:13:33,950
Idiot.
319
00:13:33,952 --> 00:13:36,654
C'mere, you
skinny-legged sumbitch!
320
00:13:36,656 --> 00:13:37,822
Oh! Sorry.
321
00:13:37,824 --> 00:13:39,924
That's okay, they're
not my best feature.
322
00:13:39,926 --> 00:13:41,626
No, I was --
Not important.
323
00:13:41,628 --> 00:13:44,629
What is important is that
Randy gave me a bible lesson?
324
00:13:44,631 --> 00:13:45,530
Yeah?
325
00:13:45,532 --> 00:13:47,032
And what'd the bible say?
326
00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:50,135
Well, Janelle, obviously
the actual scripture
327
00:13:50,137 --> 00:13:53,171
is open to interpretation, but
what I took away from it,
328
00:13:53,173 --> 00:13:56,809
is that we should go in the barn
and screw our brains out on a
329
00:13:56,811 --> 00:13:58,143
huge pile of marijuana.
330
00:13:58,145 --> 00:14:01,646
It didn't say nothin
about a rubber, did it?
331
00:14:01,648 --> 00:14:03,948
It did not!
332
00:14:03,950 --> 00:14:05,684
Ray's still up
in the woods, right?
333
00:14:05,686 --> 00:14:06,851
Uh... oh.
334
00:14:06,853 --> 00:14:10,855
No, he actually said he wanted to talk to --
Randy!
335
00:14:10,857 --> 00:14:12,591
Whoa whoa whoa
now hang on a second!
336
00:14:12,593 --> 00:14:16,127
You wife-swappin white trash piece of --
Ray, no!
337
00:14:16,830 --> 00:14:17,963
Randy!
338
00:14:17,965 --> 00:14:19,731
Yes. Randy.
339
00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:22,310
Which I probably should've
mentioned earlier.
340
00:14:23,503 --> 00:14:24,745
Don't judge me.
341
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:26,827
Food.
342
00:14:27,939 --> 00:14:29,602
You lucky I didn't kill you.
343
00:14:29,604 --> 00:14:31,058
You're lucky
I didn't kill you!
344
00:14:31,184 --> 00:14:32,617
While you were in bed with my wife!
345
00:14:32,619 --> 00:14:34,885
Our marriage
was never consummated!
346
00:14:34,887 --> 00:14:37,188
- And I think we all know why...
- Stop!
347
00:14:37,190 --> 00:14:39,824
Carol! Look, there's
plenty of blame to go around here.
348
00:14:39,826 --> 00:14:43,027
I mean, I don't think I deserve any, but--
You were gonna screw her!
349
00:14:43,029 --> 00:14:44,828
Yeah so, is
that still on, or...?
350
00:14:44,830 --> 00:14:45,930
Wh-?!
351
00:14:45,932 --> 00:14:47,297
Carol? Wh-?!
352
00:14:47,299 --> 00:14:48,999
Well, somebody.
C'mon, promises were made.
353
00:14:49,001 --> 00:14:52,334
Just like you promised Mama'n
Deddy you'd always take care of me!
354
00:14:52,336 --> 00:14:53,300
And here we go!
355
00:14:53,302 --> 00:14:55,836
But they weren't even
cold in the ground before you
356
00:14:55,838 --> 00:14:57,037
were galivantin around Europe!
357
00:14:57,039 --> 00:14:58,605
It was the Olympics!
358
00:14:58,607 --> 00:14:59,740
Which you lost!
359
00:14:59,742 --> 00:15:01,708
Bronze medal! Is not losing!
360
00:15:01,710 --> 00:15:03,977
And then it was
off to New York City!
361
00:15:03,979 --> 00:15:05,212
You can just say New York.
362
00:15:05,214 --> 00:15:08,082
To be a hoity-toity
interior decorator!
363
00:15:08,084 --> 00:15:09,550
You can just say decorator.
364
00:15:09,552 --> 00:15:12,620
Whatever, I don't know why I
thought he could help save my farm!
365
00:15:12,622 --> 00:15:14,155
Because your job?!
366
00:15:14,157 --> 00:15:16,124
That's a job for sissies!
367
00:15:16,126 --> 00:15:17,092
Oh yeah?!
368
00:15:17,094 --> 00:15:18,093
Well guess what!
369
00:15:18,095 --> 00:15:18,927
Ray!
370
00:15:18,929 --> 00:15:21,163
Is not an interior decorator.
371
00:15:21,165 --> 00:15:22,698
I -- no, ya know what?
372
00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:23,599
Yes, shut up.
373
00:15:23,601 --> 00:15:26,936
Randy, your seemingly effeminate
brother is actually a
374
00:15:26,938 --> 00:15:28,370
highly-trained secret agent.
375
00:15:28,372 --> 00:15:29,138
Pshh!
376
00:15:29,140 --> 00:15:34,877
Yeah, and I'm...
something equally hard to believe is true.
377
00:15:34,879 --> 00:15:36,846
It is true.
That's why I married him.
378
00:15:36,848 --> 00:15:38,113
Well, and the bronze medal.
379
00:15:38,115 --> 00:15:38,914
Prove it.
380
00:15:38,916 --> 00:15:40,416
What do you want,
a business card?
381
00:15:40,418 --> 00:15:43,252
Where do you think he got a duffel
bag full of assault weapons?
382
00:15:43,254 --> 00:15:46,389
- Well, y'all do live in New York City...
- Just New York.
383
00:15:46,391 --> 00:15:48,424
Ray? Is he tellin the truth?
384
00:15:48,426 --> 00:15:49,859
Mostly.
385
00:15:49,861 --> 00:15:54,764
So... cause you're a spy, is
that why you never come back to visit?
386
00:15:54,766 --> 00:15:56,232
Mostly.
387
00:15:56,234 --> 00:16:00,003
And here all this time I thought
it was cause you were ashamed of us.
388
00:16:00,005 --> 00:16:02,506
Oh c'mon now,
why would you think that?
389
00:16:02,508 --> 00:16:04,241
I found a buncha
your old diaries.
390
00:16:04,243 --> 00:16:07,210
Well, obviously not the
one with the Miss Piggy on it.
391
00:16:07,212 --> 00:16:08,645
No, Deddy said
he burned that one.
392
00:16:08,647 --> 00:16:12,582
- Ugh, great...
- And I'm sorry I screwed your wife.
393
00:16:12,584 --> 00:16:16,152
And I'm sorry if I ever made
you feel like I was ashamed of you.
394
00:16:16,154 --> 00:16:19,322
The important thing
is you came back to help me.
395
00:16:19,324 --> 00:16:21,925
C'mon, that's what
family's all ab --
396
00:16:21,927 --> 00:16:23,326
- Dukes!
- Shit!
397
00:16:23,328 --> 00:16:24,327
Dammit!
398
00:16:24,329 --> 00:16:25,328
Randy Gillet!
399
00:16:25,330 --> 00:16:27,930
This is Sheriff E.Z. Ponder!
400
00:16:27,932 --> 00:16:30,132
You come out there with your hands up!
401
00:16:30,134 --> 00:16:31,967
That sonuvabitch is early!
402
00:16:31,969 --> 00:16:32,801
I dunno, "sundown"
403
00:16:32,803 --> 00:16:36,004
sounds more colloquial than like, an actual --
Well, if you wanna back
404
00:16:36,006 --> 00:16:38,039
out on me, now's probly
the time to do that.
405
00:16:38,041 --> 00:16:42,343
Randy, you may be a racist,
homophobic, wife-swapping drug dealer --
406
00:16:42,345 --> 00:16:42,944
Farmer.
407
00:16:42,946 --> 00:16:45,547
-- but nobody
murders my brother.
408
00:16:45,549 --> 00:16:48,082
The Gillet boys, side by side!
409
00:16:48,084 --> 00:16:49,717
Janelle, cover that winder yonder!
410
00:16:49,719 --> 00:16:54,723
Archer, you got a little fight in ya?
411
00:16:57,060 --> 00:17:00,262
Yeah, I'm pretty furious about
not getting to bang Janelle.
412
00:17:00,264 --> 00:17:03,031
Plus I wanna unleash the
power of moonshine.
413
00:17:03,033 --> 00:17:05,834
Then grab a gun
and cover that winder!
414
00:17:05,836 --> 00:17:07,136
What should I do?!
415
00:17:07,138 --> 00:17:09,005
I got some red hot
pokers layin in that fire!
416
00:17:09,007 --> 00:17:12,308
If anybody gets hit, you grab
one and slap iron to it!
417
00:17:12,310 --> 00:17:16,212
- Awesome...
- And remember, it's us or them.
418
00:17:16,214 --> 00:17:18,048
So this is how it's gonna be, huh?!
419
00:17:18,050 --> 00:17:20,184
Randy, I didn't
want it like this!
420
00:17:20,186 --> 00:17:22,353
C'mon, I tried to reason with ya!
421
00:17:22,355 --> 00:17:26,032
Reason with this!
422
00:17:26,034 --> 00:17:26,969
A'ight then!
423
00:17:26,971 --> 00:17:28,070
Light 'em up!
424
00:17:32,175 --> 00:17:33,642
- Ow!
- Janelle! Are ya hit?!
425
00:17:33,644 --> 00:17:38,847
Naw, a piece
of -- waaaaaghhhhhh!
426
00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:40,983
Well don't just set there!
Shoot!
427
00:17:40,985 --> 00:17:42,651
Ugh, I can't.
428
00:17:42,653 --> 00:17:45,720
I feel sick, what's happening,
do I have cancer again?
429
00:17:45,722 --> 00:17:47,189
You drank too much!
430
00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:48,890
That's a thing?
431
00:17:48,892 --> 00:17:52,527
Looks like it's
just you and me, brother.
432
00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:55,131
Randy, you
don't have to do this!
433
00:17:55,133 --> 00:17:56,466
They'll go easy on you!
434
00:17:56,468 --> 00:17:58,535
Hell, the judge is my wife's cousin!
435
00:17:58,537 --> 00:18:00,404
I bet he'll give you probation!
436
00:18:00,406 --> 00:18:01,172
Oh please!
437
00:18:01,174 --> 00:18:04,374
You're gonna murder him so you
can take over his dope farm!
438
00:18:04,376 --> 00:18:05,476
What?!
439
00:18:05,478 --> 00:18:06,677
Cease fire!
440
00:18:06,679 --> 00:18:08,012
Hold your fire!
441
00:18:08,014 --> 00:18:11,916
Why in the world would you
think that I, a peace officer
442
00:18:11,918 --> 00:18:15,051
sworn to uphold the law, would
wanna murder your brother
443
00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:16,553
to get his marijuana farm?
444
00:18:16,555 --> 00:18:18,889
I -- because
that's what Randy said!
445
00:18:18,891 --> 00:18:21,558
- Randy's a drug dealer!
- Farmer!
446
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,092
And I tried to get him to quit.
447
00:18:23,094 --> 00:18:27,063
I come to him as a friend, I come
to him as an elder of the church,
448
00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:28,264
but he wouldn't give it up.
449
00:18:28,266 --> 00:18:30,733
And so now I gotta come
to him as the law.
450
00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:33,736
And you accuse me of
plannin a murder?!
451
00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:36,438
Well, you did
used to pick on me a bunch.
452
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:40,209
Well I'm sorry, I
was a dick in high school.
453
00:18:40,211 --> 00:18:43,579
But you gotta admit, you
were extremely pick-on-able.
454
00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:47,149
There's nothing
wrong with Capezios!
455
00:18:47,151 --> 00:18:50,420
Randy, is he telling the truth?
456
00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:51,989
- Mostly.
- Randy!
457
00:18:51,991 --> 00:18:53,992
You almost got me and
my friends killed!
458
00:18:53,994 --> 00:18:57,029
Because you could never be
bothered to get a real job!
459
00:18:57,031 --> 00:18:59,264
Well?!
I only got to ninth grade!
460
00:18:59,266 --> 00:19:02,533
How the hell else was I supposed
to earn a livin?! Diggin seng?!
461
00:19:02,535 --> 00:19:06,203
There is a perfectly good
coal mine not a half-mile from here.
462
00:19:06,205 --> 00:19:10,573
And maybe you wouldn't get rich, but
at least it's an honest living.
463
00:19:10,575 --> 00:19:12,875
Yeah but it's hard.
464
00:19:12,877 --> 00:19:15,010
So's this.
465
00:19:15,012 --> 00:19:16,445
- Randy!
- Shut up.
466
00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:17,679
And Mama never liked you.
467
00:19:17,681 --> 00:19:18,881
Easy, don't shoot!
468
00:19:18,883 --> 00:19:21,083
I'm comin out!
469
00:19:21,085 --> 00:19:23,586
Phrasing.
470
00:19:23,588 --> 00:19:26,222
Here's the files you had me pull.
471
00:19:26,224 --> 00:19:26,956
Oww!
472
00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:28,758
What the hell is on your hands?!
473
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:30,493
My bum-zappers.
474
00:19:30,495 --> 00:19:32,496
For the shockfights?
475
00:19:32,498 --> 00:19:36,233
Th I'm doing for Krieger, which is why
he broke the server, to help Lana cover
476
00:19:36,235 --> 00:19:39,470
up that Ray and Mr. Archer are killing
cops for a drug dealer and also Ray's
477
00:19:39,472 --> 00:19:41,327
been faking that he's paralyzed?
478
00:19:42,408 --> 00:19:44,741
Lanaaaa!
479
00:19:44,743 --> 00:19:48,044
Or are we not telling you that?
480
00:19:48,046 --> 00:19:53,082
No, thank God you guys got
here before they started killing hostages!
481
00:19:53,084 --> 00:19:54,817
Which would have been us!
482
00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:55,917
As the hostages!
483
00:19:55,919 --> 00:19:57,786
You lyin-ass bitch!
484
00:19:57,788 --> 00:20:00,856
She's mad
because I slept with Randy.
485
00:20:00,858 --> 00:20:04,093
To get food for my fellow hostages.
486
00:20:04,095 --> 00:20:07,496
So, you really think you can
fix it so I just get probation?
487
00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:09,199
Oh God no, I just said that.
488
00:20:09,201 --> 00:20:13,237
All these drugs and weapons, attempted
murder of police officers,
489
00:20:13,239 --> 00:20:15,506
you'll probably die in prison.
490
00:20:15,508 --> 00:20:18,510
Oh. Will you come visit me?
491
00:20:18,512 --> 00:20:19,511
Probably not.
492
00:20:19,513 --> 00:20:21,146
Cause you're a spy and all?
493
00:20:21,148 --> 00:20:23,615
Uh --
He's a highly-trained secret agent.
494
00:20:23,617 --> 00:20:24,883
Is that right.
495
00:20:24,885 --> 00:20:30,322
Well listen here... If you ever find
your way back up in the holler...
496
00:20:30,324 --> 00:20:31,724
gimme a call.
497
00:20:31,726 --> 00:20:35,327
I think I got
myself an extra pair of Capezios layin
498
00:20:35,329 --> 00:20:37,063
around somewheres.
499
00:20:37,065 --> 00:20:38,631
Uh-?!
500
00:20:38,633 --> 00:20:40,768
O.K. - should I just 911?
501
00:20:40,770 --> 00:20:43,136
A'ight, let's move em out!
502
00:20:43,138 --> 00:20:44,237
Well that's just great.
503
00:20:44,239 --> 00:20:47,527
Everybody gets laid
in the holler but me.
504
00:20:48,856 --> 00:20:50,562
Oh. And you, I guess.
505
00:20:50,838 --> 00:20:52,509
Since I ate your husband.
506
00:20:53,779 --> 00:20:55,014
***.
507
00:20:56,110 --> 00:21:06,905
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com